bluebunnybias

[bluebunnybias]

see i think it's interesting that the main perception of nai seems to be that he's the stone cold twin, emotions unreadable, and vash is the expressive one. close! close!! that's what they want you to think :)

because if you take a second look at nai, that guy wears every single emotion on his sleeve. all the love, all the hatred, every ounce of hurt when he's betrayed. just watch ep 9. that man's facial muscles are working overtime. even in '98 he's expressive, at times comically so.

trimax. trimax also!! his emotions can be seen in his whole body!

so then let's talk about vash.

yes, he's extremely expressive (god bless studio orange) in stampede; same for '98 and the manga. but i'd argue he puts a lot more effort into controlling his face than knives does.

there's a reason wolfwood calls him out on his fake smiles, you know. vash is a people pleaser. he hides his pain frequently, whether that means smiling when he doesn't feel it or hiding behind suddenly-opaque sunglasses. visually, vash gives off the vibe of someone expressive and unrestrained in their feelings but is, in reality, much more guarded.

that isn't to say he's truly an expressionless, stone-cold character, because he obviously isn't, but that he tries to hide his real thoughts much more frequently than his brother.

who's knives fooling, anyway?

(the answer is rem and vash, btw. he only really seems to control his face in the trimax chapters leading up to the big fall.)

i think it's also interesting (but a little tangential) that this dynamic...swaps. but only when vash and knives are wrapped up with each other.

i wouldn't interpret it as a conscious decision to close himself off from his twin, but knives--when confronted with vash--tries to hide his fear and insecurity under layers of bluster and bravado. "it's all for you" and "a new paradise for us" is simultaneously his true feelings and...not.

because he'll never admit to vash that he's scared. and vash is suddenly the expressive one, unguarded as he screams at his brother. as he begs and cries and lifts his gun to shoot. there's no bravado there, no false fronts, just vash's betrayal and anger.

vash lies to everyone. little white lies. knives doesn't lie to anyone except his brother. there's a gap there that vash can't bridge on his own and it leads to so much delicious tension between the two of them. absolutely stellar writing and visual design from trigun, god.

[bluebunnybias]

bruh what

[bluebunnybias]

ngl it's driving me a little bit fucking insane that the whole conversation about image scraping for AI has settled on copyright and legality as a primary concern, and not consent. my shit should not be used without my consent. I will give it away for free, but I want to be asked.

I don't want to be included in studies without my knowledge or consent. I don't want my face captured for the training of facial recognition models without my knowledge or consent. I don't want my voice captured for the training of speech recognition models without my consent. I don't want my demographic or interest profile captured without my consent. I don't want my art harvested for visual model training without my consent. It's not about 'theft' (fake idea) or 'ownership' (fake idea) or 'inherent value' (fake idea). It's about my ability to opt out from being used as a data point. I object to being a commodity by default.

[bluebunnybias]

i need them all in the same room for science purpose please

[bluebunnybias]

I cannot fucking believe how much I'm losing my mind right now over soy sauce history. I'll tell all of you about it after I finish this essay because I need to un-distract myself enough to finish it but what the fuck? What the fuck is going on? I'm losing my fucking mind.

[bluebunnybias]

“celebrities queerbait" factoid actualy just statistical error. average celebrity cannot queerbait as it is a media analysis concept. Misha Collins, who lives in cave & maintained a legitimate queerbait for 3 entire days, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[bluebunnybias]

the thing you need to realize about localization is that japanese and english are such vastly different languages that a straight translation is always going to be worse than the original script. nuance is going to be lost and, if you give a shit about your job, you should fill the gaps left with equivalent nuance in english. take ff6, my personal favorite localization of all time: in the original japanese cefca was memorable primarily for his manic, childish speaking style - but since english speaking styles arent nearly as expressive, woolsey adapted that by making the localized english kefka much more prone to making outright jokes. cefca/kefka is beloved in both regions as a result - hell, hes even more popular here

[bluebunnybias]

when you’ve honed the fine art of perfectly-timed reblogging of something aimed at one specific mutual and they immediately like it

[bluebunnybias]

me when the emotionally repressed character is revealed to have had something happen in their childhood that was completely out of their control but changed them in a way they can never come back from

[bluebunnybias]

[bluebunnybias]

FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth

[bluebunnybias]

Mischaracterization in fics is annoying and can sometimes make me be like “he would not say that” EXCEPT when I do it. he would say that because I am holding him at gunpoint to do so

[bluebunnybias]

The best character development is when the antagonist doesn't even really change or redeem himself. Like no, he still sucks, he's just on our side now.

[bluebunnybias]

oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years

[bluebunnybias]

Is 18 and 24 really that bad of an age gap this guy I’ve been seeing is 24 and I really like him he’s really sweet and funny and I know a lot if people frown upon these kind of relationships but it’s not predatory at all I feel so safe with him and the age thing never really seems that bad . He’s the only guy I’ve dated that really seems to care about me and respect me but I constantly see people attacking relationships like this is it possible for some of these relationships to be healthy

Readers sometimes send Bad Advisor their real-ass questions to answer, so the Bad Advisor is periodically going to try her hand at answering them. If you’d like to submit a question for a Good Advice Interlude, use the “ask” form!

Hello, anonymous!

The word that keeps coming back to me when I think about your question is "clarity."

What would it take for you to have true clarity about the nature of this relationship? The kind of clarity that means you're not wondering what "a lot of people" think about your relationship, because you're so sure about it, yourself? The kind of clarity that doesn't have you asking strangers whether "not predatory" is enough of a bar to clear with your person, because the idea of the relationship even being potentially predatory is so ludicrous to you? The kind of clarity that means you don't wonder if it's possible for "some of these relationships" in general to be healthy, because you know that your specific relationship is healthy?

I can't tell you for certain whether your relationship is healthy. Your ages, on their own, are not enough information to make a determination like that. If someone just stopped me on the street and said, "Can a relationship between an 18-year-old and a 24-year-old be healthy?" I guess I would have to respond: sure, anything's possible! So if "sure, anything's possible, go live your life!" is the answer you were looking for here, you have it.

But you gave me a little more information about your relationship, and some of that information raises green flags, and some raises yellow flags, and some raises red flags. So let's break it down.

🟢 Green flags: You "really" like this man, who is "really sweet and funny," and you feel "so safe" with him. Hell yes. Great qualities in a partner, and a great way to feel with and about a partner.

🟡 Yellow flags: You're careful to note that your relationship is "not predatory at all," and that the age difference doesn't seem "that bad." If you are already working to justify to yourself certain aspects of your relationship this early on? If there are aspects of an early relationship that only seem good in relation to something worse, (i.e., it's not "that bad" that your partner does or is x, y, or z, or that your partner is not, say, an axe murderer)? That's something to pay attention to. It's not a dealbreaker, and it's perfectly possible that this is simply a Tumblr communication error, that this guy is not at all predatory, and that the age difference legitimately never bugs either of you, it practically never comes up! Only you know what's really going on, and why you chose those descriptors.

🔴 Red flags: First, you seem predominantly concerned with whether people in general -- strangers and imagined critics, not sure if you mean your friends and family, but let's assume they're part of where you're receiving some of these messages -- approve of the type of relationship you're in. This type of insecurity is very, very bad for a relationship of any kind -- a relationship with an age difference, or a poly relationship, or a cross-cultural relationship, or a queer relationship, or etc. and so on. Even just a regular old cis hetero relationship wherein someone seeks outsider validation to feel confident and secure is going to be really hard to maintain under those conditions. A relationship has to be remarkably strong to withstand one or both or all people in a relationship concerning themselves with what people who are not in the relationship think or feel or perceive about the situation. A relationship will not succeed, will never feel good or right, if this validation obstacle is not overcome. Second, I got the tingly-spine-in-a-bad-way when I read this sentence: "He’s the only guy I’ve dated that really seems to care about me and respect me." That your past partners have neither cared about nor respected you is not a statement about your value as a person; it is a statement about those partners being crappy people, or distracted, or uninterested, or what-have-you. Of course you want to date someone who cares about and respects you; this is the bare minimum of what anyone should be looking for in a loving partnership. If this man is the "only" person (perhaps the first?) who has done so, it does not mean that he is the "only" person on earth who can, or that you are obligated to be with him because he is superior in this regard to people who didn't treat you right. Dating with this type of scarcity mindset (see also: constantly searching for "the one," or seeking a fairytale ending) can often convince us that how someone feels about us, or how they look "on paper," is more important than how we feel about them, or whether we are genuinely fulfilled by a relationship. There are many people out there who can and will care about you and respect you.

You'll note that all of those flags? Are not even about the age difference. And you're asking about the age difference! But Bad Advisor, I can hear you saying, I asked you about the fucking age difference! What does any of this other shit matter? I just want to know if the age difference is a problem!

So, fine. I brought up the flags because I think sitting with those questions and concerns will help you determine whether this relationship is, on its own and without handwringing over who is 18 and 24, worth cultivating. I don't think you need to concern yourself with the age difference if you can genuinely grapple with those yellow and red flags and turn them green -- if you can achieve the kind of clarity that people who are in healthy, happy relationships have.

But let's talk about the age difference, which is less about a six-year spread than it is about this specific six-year spread, and about where both of you are at in life. An 18-year-old person is at a really exciting juncture in their life journey -- there are probably a lot of things you haven't done yet, but would be typical of folks your age, such as going to university, getting a full-time job or pursuing your art or business aspirations full-time, traveling widely, etc. It's literally not been possible for most 18-year-olds to do any of those things, and there's other stuff that it's only newly legal for you to do (vote! sign a lease!) and stuff it won't yet be legal (or, at least, easy) for you to do in many places (like hang out in bars, or rent a car, or buy cigarettes or vapes or cannabis.) I don't bring those things up to make you feel like a child, because you aren't, but to note that the space-time continuum is such that there's simply a lot of shit on planet earth that became available to you as a person less than one year ago. You're going to learn how to navigate all of that stuff over the next three, four, five, six years. You are looking at doing a lot of entirely new stuff! God, it's exciting.

Your 24-year-old paramour, however, has probably navigated a lot of that stuff already. He's still young, of course, and figuring out what's happening next in his life. But over the next three, four, five, six years of his life, he's looking at doing things that are probably more different to him than they are entirely new to him.

Those are just really, really different places to be in -- different enough that it absolutely gives me pause that a 24-year-old is pursuing someone who's 18. It makes me wonder whether that 24-year-old views himself in a paternalistic, teacher role, and prefers the power inherent in that dynamic to the challenges of building a relationship with someone closer to his own age, who would be less likely to be charmed or impressed by his worldly knowledge or bearing, because they simply already have it, too.

You'll note that I'm not speculating about either of y'all's ~ maturity ~ levels, which is where a lot of conversations about age-differential relationships, especially among young people, go to die. Perhaps you are very ~ mature ~ and perhaps he is very ~ immature ~ or vice-versa; certainly it's possible for an 18-year-old and a 24-year-old to be matched on ~ maturity ~ levels, but I don't think a ~ maturity ~ match is a sign that the relationship is good or healthy.

I'd be curious to know whether and how often this 24-year-old man makes remarks about your age, or makes inferences or assumptions about your experiences/relationship capability because of your age, or speaks about the nature of your relationship in light of your age. Even and especially if he seems always to be putting a positive spin on the fact that you're 18, or that he's older than you are.

Does he say stuff like this a lot?

"I barely notice that you're 18!" (Especially if he talks about "barely noticing" this ... frequently, like to the extent that he's clearly ... noticing.)

"You seem so much more mature/enlightened/experienced than other 18-year-olds." (Does he have close relationships with a lot of 18-year-olds? This is a creeper flag.)

"It's actually really cool that you're younger than me, I can teach/show you a lot." (He views you as a child/student, not an equal.)

"Don't worry about learning about/doing XYZ, I'll do it for you." (He is able to withhold experiences/knowledge from you so that you feel dependent on him.)

"I love that you're 18, because it means that you [are like XYZ, or do XYZ, or don't yet know XYZ, or make him feel XYZ]" (He objectifies you because of your age, and doesn't see you as a fully developed, agent person -- your age is doing all the work of what makes you appealing to him.)

Because that kind of stuff? Is a sign that it is not the age differential that's your problem, but a perceived power differential that's your problem. The fact is that this 24-year-old man might be pursuing a younger, less experienced person because something about the nature of that relationship dynamic -- again, a dynamic where he is more likely to feel a sense of power and control than he might with an age group peer -- appeals to him over more egalitarian dynamics. I don't think that kind of power differential is a healthy one.

Maybe you look at that bullet list of quotes and you're like absolutely the fuck not, my dude never says any of these things and I get zero weird or creepy or paternal vibes from him whatsoever, Bad Advisor, you have this all wrong!

In which case: great! Go sit with those yellow and red flags for a while and see if you can work through them. Talk with your dude about them. Ask him what he thinks. See if you can meet each other as people, not as the response to "date of birth?" See if you can get the kind of clarity about your relationship that means you're not always wondering what other people think, or if you're being taken advantage of. See if you can get the kind of clarity that makes the question "Is this relationship okay?" absolutely hilarious to you.

If you can't? That's okay. Life is long. You are worthy of love on your own terms. You'll find it, or you'll get okay with not finding it, and our world will continue spinning off into the infinite glory of the universe and we will still be tiny silly emotional little organisms twirling around and around and around wondering what if this and what if that and should I and could I and can I and all of it will matter and none of it will.

[bluebunnybias]

Hi!

Wait.

Hang on.

Sorry.

Bit confused here - I keep seeing posts saying things such as 'Neil Gaiman has no social media' and other words that come to a similar conclusion. However, Mr. Neil Gaiman does, in fact, have a social media. Mr. Neil Gaiman has multiple social medias. I have seen them. They are easily found on Google.

So why do you supposedly not have any social medias? And if you do not have any social medias and this is all an elaborate hoax set up by the ghost of Sir Terry Pratchett and the not-ghost of Michael Sheen in order to play an amusing trick on Mr. Neil Gaiman by convincing the world that he has a Tumblr account, along with various others on various other social medias, then please inform me. I would be most grateful.

Sincerely, a rather confused being

It's hard to explain, especially because the original post has now vanished. But I have searched the web, from lowest to highest, and found this for you, which will, I hope, explain everything.

[bluebunnybias]

Welcome twitter users fleeing the absolute cesspool that twitter is going to become as Musk gets his way with his awful ideas! Things are better here, and hey, if you're an old user coming back, they've actually improved shit!

Here's a list of important notes for tumblr usage:

Don't censor words, particularly trigger warnings. Tumblr has a very functional blacklist (found in your settings) that can filter by post content and/or tags. But the word needs to actually be present for the filter to work. Censoring words like r*pe is actively harmful to people attempting to avoid those topics.

Use tags liberally, you have as many as you want, but don't tag unrelated shit. You'll get reported for spam really fast if you do.

Set an avatar and reblog things, otherwise you look like a bot.

You are not obligated to have your real name anywhere in your blog/bio/etc. Most people here use handles.

You can turn your ask box & anons on or off if you are experiencing any kind of harassment. You can also turn off replies on your posts, and turn off reblogs if you need to.

Tumblr has keyboard shortcuts on desktop. You can find them listed under the blog/account menu. Go learn them, they make life so much easier.

Reblog things. Seriously. Also set your dash in chronological order. You can maintain several blogs if need be, but reblogging things is normal, expected, and how you pass along stuff you enjoy.

The majority of people aren't reading your card/dni/blog bio before they reblog stuff. Posts get passed around and the OP often isn't the focal point of the post. Learn to live with it.

Fic writers: you have unlimited words, do not post fics as images.

Reblogs with comments/tags are encouraged. It's not like twitter's QRTs. The OP will see everything there. Know that before you comment.

You have a queue. This means you can set posts up ahead of time to run while you're busy. You can also completely ignore this and just spam your follows whenever you're online. Both are very commonplace

It's not weird to go through someone's blog and reblog old posts. That's actually very normal. If you add /chrono to the end of a tumblr tab then you can view an

"Spam" liking and reblogging isn't a thing that is a problem. This is invented by people I do not understand. If someone claims this is a problem, they can learn how to turn off or manage their notifications.

The only form of promotional posts that tumblr has is "blaze". There is no ad targeting or any kind of invasions of privacy with blaze. You just get subjected to w/e someone wants to show you. If you want to give tumblr some money to help the company keep going and provided an alternative to twitter, it's not a bad way to do it. You can make people look at cat photos.

Also, we have fun colors here. Plus actual formatting ability. Use it!

People lie on here for fun. Don't accept everything you see at face value, check the reblogs/replies or google something if you're skeptical! Critical thinking is good!

Above all else, be chill, use your block button if you need to, and have fun.