bnevolent

[bnevolent]

chesskyforth:

     ❝ well… i won’t complain if you keep feeding my every time you do it. ❞ chess can’t remember the last time he was mommed… or was he ever really mommed to begin with? his mother was cold, a soldier through and through. hugs weren’t a thing, she didn’t beam with pride, and well… she cut chester out of the family while he was still a child. beth was everything his mother should’ve been. he continues to eat like he hasn’t seen food in a week, his plate soon empty due to his race to eat everything. but a piece of chicken catches in his throat at her question. he coughs, splutters then hits his chest a few times to loosen the food lodged in his throat. ❝ a catch up, huh ? well you know me. clubbing, partying, and being my usual sunshine happy self. ❞  he gives an overly dramatic grin before chuckling and shaking his head. he wasn’t fine. the woman he loves hates him and although that was his goal to begin with… everyone hates him and leaves him eventually. it shouldn’t hurt but it does. and as always he buries his hurt under one night stands and whiskey bottles.

      beth’s eyes narrow at the male in front, eyes almost rolling at the sight of him near enough choking on the food he shovelled down. “there’s more if you’re still hungry,” she adds, fingers drumming on the table surface as she relaxes into her seat. well, relaxes as much as she can these days. “are you happy, though?” she can’t help but ask. she’s been around enough pack members to know that there’s often something hidden behind a smile, that there’s more than what the eyes are met with. she, of course, doesn’t want to push boundaries and definitely doesn’t want to scare chess off, but she at least wants to him to know that she’s always there if needed. “you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. you can just eat the food and leave if that’s what you want, but i guess i’m just ---” what? lonely? afraid of being alone these days? at this point, she’ll pretty much do anything to have a conversation that doesn’t involve herself or the worries she harbours for the kids. “--- there’s ice cream, too.”

#{{ ❀ — chesskyforth ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }}

[bnevolent]

brvnas:

“— as much as i love catching up and chatting, beth, i don’t think this is the best time to do so,” bruna shook her head, seconds before dropping her gaze to her feet. the wolf was already at the other’s door, even though she wasn’t exactly sure how she ended up there. but, well… if bruna can’t talk about anything confidential with anyone but two people, she might as well, put all of her trust on her. again. “i just really need a fucking drink and someone to calm me the hell down before i do something stupid. i could use a… friend, and someone who’s not… ryan, right now.” // @bnevolent

      for a moment, beth doesn’t say a thing. she’s taken aback by how bruna has chosen to speak to her, but then she exhales slowly and attempts to relax her rigid muscles. everyone’s on edge, there’s other things going on, and it is of no benefit to find the anger in every single interaction made. in typical beth fashion, she takes a moment then addresses the situation. “i don’t keep alcohol in this house,” she replies. in fact, there’s not been a drop of it in her household since the twins were born. james had a problem with it, and she’s doing whatever is in her power to make sure that doesn’t pass along. “i’m your friend, bruna. please, talk to me. preferably without taking my head off, but if that’s necessary -- if that’s necessary than i’ll accept it. just... talk to me.”

#{{ ❀ — brvnas ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }} #alcohol mention tw

[bnevolent]

mcrdices:

ben frowns sympathetically as beth delves further into what’s bothering her. frustration over not knowing what to do is a relatable feeling. “i’m the one who’s supposed to know this shit,” he mutters, lips pressing together as his gaze falls bashfully onto the mug he’s holding, “i should be able to tell you what to do, but…” just like beth, he’s got nothing. “…i dunno. jas and jj are smart and you’ve always been there for them. if they really need something then they’ll say so.” probably. it hasn’t escaped his notice that jj is in one of those typical teenage independent to a fault modes. “maybe there won’t be anything to protect them from anyway.” 

      “they’re my children, ben. if anyone should know what to do it should be me,” beth mutters quietly. “i held them in my arms and i cuddled them at night when the nightmares came, but now? i can’t do anything and it’s breaking me apart.” beth has never been one to set aside her emotions when something drastic happens. she feels everything all at once and is often consumed by the grief and pain of what’s surpassed. she’s done as much as she can to shelter her son and daughter from that side of her, yet here she is; unable to hold back the truth while in the presence of her alpha and friend. “i’m just tired of being useless.”

#{{ ❀ — mcrdices ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }}

[bnevolent]

annabcllc:

     “ will you stop calling me out like that ?? ” annabelle tried to pull an annoyed face, quickly failing afterwards as a big smile appeared on her face. it was true that despite her problems having not been solved yet, the thing with andrzej… had surely pulled her out from her depressed state, illuminating her world. “ grumpy gonzales – fuck, that’s good. ” she chuckled at that, shaking her head. “ um… betty - can i ask you something ? it’s about… well, feelings ? ”

      “if i did that then i wouldn’t be able to have any fun,” beth nudges the woman’s arm as a grin spreads her features. at this point in time, beth seems to be achieving her happiness through other’s experiences, the more she hears about their day or successes the more she smiles, and the more she smiles the more she forgets that there’s actual issues that need to be addressed. thankfully, she gets to put all that aside due to the fact that annabelle seems to be radiating a light that’s enough to keep them both warm. “it’s actually his name in my contacts list. i’m already in his bad books for getting cookie dough in sofia’s hair, so maybe we shouldn’t tell him i said that,” she laughs. “uh... sure,” she then nods as she licks the ice cream off another spoonful. “i’m, by no means, an expert but i can try and answer -- what is it?”

#{{ ❀ — annabcllc ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }}

[bnevolent]

frankiegonzales:

      ❝ i’m hurt. truly. ❞ though he has no problem with the bond sophia and beth seemed to have formed. if there’s a woman he wants his daughter to look up to- it’s definitely her. seeing them high five again almost brings a smile to the scowling wolf’s features but as always he manages to fight it back. when was the last time he had let him self smile in the last week? even sophia hasn’t managed one out of him in a while and she was beginning to worry. ❝ you got me. ❞ sophia giggles at beth’s words. ❝ i should make him another flower crown! so he won’t get jealous of my tiara! ❞ her hands clap together fast in excitement at beth having tiaras in the house. seeing sophia run deeper into the house, he sighs crossing his arms. ❝ i agree on stuff like grass stains, mud in boots, paint- but cookie dough is a bitch to get out of a wiggling little girl’s hair. ❞ at the offer of a drink, his mind goes to something alcoholic but it’s still daylight outside so he can’t cave and ask for whiskey right now. ❝ drink sounds good. got a couple hours free before my next shift. ❞

      “you definitely should make him a flower crown,” beth laughs. if anything, beth would literally do anything to see frankie covered in flowers once more. the last time it happened was quite... something. she feels like she’d be doing the world a favour by repeating the whole thing once more. “well, i can only apologise for that -- though, to be fair, she had an absolute blast and is my favourite baking partner so, really, can you even be mad?” she grins. once he agrees to a drink, beth heads to the kitchen and sets about preparing them. “you work too hard sometimes, did you know that? and, before you say anything, i know that’s rich coming from me, but still,” she turns to him and hands him a full glass. “our kids are only young once, and sometimes i wish i knew that way back when. i was so focused on earning enough to give them a future that i sometimes forgot about the present.”

#{{ ❀ — frankiegonzales ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }}

[bnevolent]

chesskyforth:

     ❝ are you- are you mumming me right now? ❞ he raises an eyebrow unsure whether to be amused or run for the hills. but then food is mentioned and his stomach decides to be a bloody traitor. the growl is loud, vibrates off the walls and chess fights the urge to punch his own stomach. ❝ hey, i’m not complaining about free food. if you want to keep filling my plate i’m down. ❞ he sits down eventually, eyeing the food and caves shoving a mouthful in so quick you’d think he hadn’t eaten in days… wait… when was the last time he actually ate and didn’t replace his food with an alcoholic liquid?

      “i think i am...” beth makes a face before laughing. “i guess it’s just something that you’ll have to get used to, i don’t really know how to turn it off, if i’m being honest.” even if she could, she doesn’t really know if she would want to. after all, she’s been a mother for practically half her life now, would she even know how to be any different? “that’s good to hear,” she then says, smiling more as she slides some more sausages onto his plate. once she’s satisfied that he’s eating, she slips into the chair diagonal from him and takes a sip from her glass of water. “i’ve been so wrapped up in work and... other stuff... i figured i’d try and trap you at the table with food so we can have a proper catch up. how are you?”

#{{ ❀ — chesskyforth ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }}

[bnevolent]

mcrdices:

ben sips from the mug of coffee beth kindly poured for him when she arrived. it tastes much better than the instant crap he buys for cheap from the grocery store but before he can say so beth’s thoughts seem to drag her away from the nonexistent conversation. finally she begins to muse aloud, and ben listens with a contemplative frown gradually forming. “yeah,” he finally mutters, “there’s a lot of not knowing what to do going around.” ben feels like it’s his fault. he’s supposed to be a leader but he doesn’t have a clue.

      “that’s the problem,” beth says after a stretch of silence. “i’m supposed to know -- i’m supposed to be able to answer the questions that my kids ask me, and i’m supposed to keep them safe and help them build a life of their own so they can stop needing me, but i don’t know anything. i’m alienating my son because i want him to learn how to defend himself and god knows what jj is getting herself into these days,” she says. she doesn’t mean to go off on a tangent or lay her troubles on her alpha but she does, and now she can’t stop. “i can’t protect them.”

#{{ ❀ — mcrdices ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }}

[bnevolent]

liamcrxss:

“No worries, I have all the free time,” Liam replies while offering her a smile. “But seriously, you’ve had your furniture in the exact same place for eighteen years? How have you not gone crazy and rearranged it already?”

      “really? that’s great,” beth beams. “if i’m being honest, i just haven’t had the time to do anything with it? i was still a kid myself when i had the twins, then james died and then i put myself through college. i guess it was just one of the things that i had to overlook,” she shrugs a little. “the couch has been moved slightly since then, but i’m guessing that doesn’t count?” she laughs.

#{{ ❀ — liamcrxss ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }}

[bnevolent]

masonwhat:

“i wasn’t going to say anything!“ the redhead said, lifting his hands in a surrender kind of gesture but the playful smile upon his lips said a whole lot more than his words. “maybe.“ he added, a small laugh following afterward. thanking her when she handed him the coffee, he losely wrapped his hands around the cup, turning around a couple of times after her question. “i managed to not get myself into any trouble lately, so i should probably say good?” he pulled a face, head shaking. “at least less worries for everyone.”

      “you’re forgetting that i know you,” beth points out, giving him a look that almost crosses one that a parent would give a child during a scolding, though hers is all in good fun. “that definitely falls under the good category so yeah, i’m... mildly pleased about that,” she teases. “you know that when people worry about you it’s because they care,” she then sits forward and gives him a serious look. “that’s not a bad thing, mason.”

#{{ ❀ — masonwhat ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }}

[bnevolent]

THE SAWYER FAMILY

is this the little girl i carried? is this the little boy at play? i don’t remember growing older, when did they? when did she get to be a beauty? when did he grow to be so tall? wasn’t it yesterday when they were small?

@bnevolent & @jscwyers

#{{ ❀ — your broken heart requires all of my attention ; mirror. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & jj. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & jasper. }} #{{ ❀ — don’t worry cause i’m here to keep you safe ; family. }} #weofjeGFjres

[bnevolent]

theacefell:

 HE SPOTTED HER, even before she spoke to him.  ❝ hey ❞ he knew he had been rather out-and about lately, but things just weren’t always perfect in his world. At least not when he allowed himself to think about it. ❝ things are alright enough now ❞ he gave a nod, to say he was happy to have her sit down with him. 

      “i’m here if you want to talk about anything,” she offers him a smile as she sits down in the empty space once permission is granted. “i’m glad things are alright, as you say,” she then adds.

#{{ ❀ — theacefell ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }}

[bnevolent]

      while she is not the worst when it comes to mothers, beth often beats herself up over things that occurs between herself and her two children, this specific moment in question being the fact that she practically begged her son to learn how to fight. in hindsight, it wasn’t the best thing to do. yes, her intentions were true and loving, but the reality of the situation is that her son is not a fighter; never has been. so, sitting on the couch with a book in hand, the page ahead unseen as she bites her thumb. when she senses her son enter, she quickly glances up and calls out, “jas, sweetie, can you come here a minute?”

STARTER FOR: @jscwyers

#{{ ❀ — closed ; starter. }} #{{ ❀ — you gotta breathe we’ll be okay ; convos. }} #{{ ❀ — jscwyers ; convos. }} #this starter is trash #i'm super tired #sdoefje

[bnevolent]

bloop

SEND “BLOOP” TO MY INBOX AND I’LL SPOUT A RANDOM FUN FACT ABOUT ONE OF MY OCS

character: bethany sawyer

random factoid:

      when beth’s twins were born, the mother often had a hard time telling them apart when they were fully dressed (it’s pretty obvious who’s who without xD), and it didn’t help that her husband, when left to his own devices, would deliberately dress them in each other’s clothes to further confuse her. this went on for an entire month before she finally realised what was going on. instead of opting to take the high road and move on, beth chose to deliberately dye all of her husband’s white clothes pink (his least favourite colour) and, since she hid the bank cards and the money, he was forced to wear those until he finally apologised. their relationship was often filled with moments like these, and it’s in the silence that beth struggles with these memories the most.

#{{ ❀ — we’ve been through tougher times ; about. }} #{{ ❀ — headcanon. }} #i just wanted this on b's blog

[bnevolent]

i’m so proud of who you are and who you’re becoming.

#{{ ❀ — i promise that i won’t let you down ; musings. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & jj. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & jasper. }} #{{ ❀ — don’t worry cause i’m here to keep you safe ; family. }}

[bnevolent]

@astcrs

#{{ ❀ — your broken heart requires all of my attention ; mirror. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & anita. }} #{{ ❀ — the wine moms™. }} #we need to bring the wine moms back #xD

[bnevolent]

HEADCANON #01 ;;

      bethany sawyer is all about the memories - her own and those that belong to others. ever since she was young, the shadowhunter turned wolf would take pictures with a polaroid camera of candid moments that might seem ordinary or unremarkable to anyone that isn’t beth.

      over the years, her collection has grown and expanded to include more than just her direct family. shadowhunters, werewolves, vampires -- basically anyone and everything is featured in her collection. beth doesn’t care what a person is, she only cares about what they do and how they feel, and she feels her collection of candid polaroids show the real person, and not the person that is put on show when they are aware of those watching.

      she has enough of these pictures to probably fill two museums.

#{{ ❀ — we’ve been through tougher times ; about. }} #{{ ❀ — headcanon. }}

[bnevolent]

HAPPINESS IS HOMEMADE ;;

@astcrs, @jaymessawyer, @jscwyers​, @frankiegonzales​, @annabcllc​, @bvsilios​ & a special appearance by @mcrdices​

#{{ ❀ — your broken heart requires all of my attention ; mirror. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & jj. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & jasper. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & basilio. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & ben. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & anita. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & anna. }} #{{ ❀ — beth & frankie. }}