Träge schieben sich die Zeiger der alten Bürouhr über das Zifferblatt. Jedes Ticken hallt dröhnend in den Ohren nach...
Der Bildschirm vor den Augen verschwimmt... Ws hab ich gerade gelesen? Hatte ich diesen Abschnitt nicht schon?
Das Hirn ist weich, kann mich nicht erinnern. Nochmal lesen...
Kaffee! Kaffee hilft! Kaffee hilft immer!
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Wie lang bin ich schon hier? Es muss doch schon Mittag sein!
Ist es nicht? Kaum Vormittag? Aber ich bin doch schon den ganzen Tag hier!
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Die Minuten tröpfeln träge in die Vergangenheit, die Stunden dehnen sich, ziehen den Augenblick bis ins unendliche. Gedanken drehen sich langsam ins Leere...
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Die Geräusche im Büro verschwimmen zu einem indifferenten Rauschen. Bleierne Müdigkeit macht sich breit... im Kopf, in den Beinen, in allen Knochen.
Why I didn't post any stories about our favourite Potions Master? Why it is so quiet in the last time?
I'm working on a bigger project and I have a exhibition of my art. So I'm very busy at the moment, but I will come back with wee stories about Severus. I still have no idea when...
Here is my latest work, and it is sold.
More about my art, my work and me are on Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram, if you want to know more about me.
The first destination must be the Isle of Skye. Severus just wants to explore all the beautiful places there, and maybe the distilleries.
And he will have a lot of time for himself after quitting his job as Potions Master. Minerva did understand his decision, but she was sad about it.
"I know you need your time after this war, and more because your soul and mind must heal! Take the time you need, Severus, and be sure that you can always come back to Hogwarts."
He had just nodded slightly, because he didn't know what to answer. His heart says, he would do better not to go back to Hogwarts ever again. He wants to be free and find peace. And this seems to be his way.
The first destination must be the Isle of Skye. Severus just wants to explore all the beautiful places there, and maybe the distilleries.
And he will have a lot of time for himself after quitting his job as Potions Master. Minerva did understand his decision, but she was sad about it.
"I know you need your time after this war, and more because your soul and mind must heal! Take the time you need, Severus, and be sure that you can always come back to Hogwarts."
He had just nodded slightly, because he didn't know what to answer. His heart says, he would do better not to go back to Hogwarts ever again. He wants to be free and find peace. And this seems to be his way.
Eintöniges Grau in Grau... Der Nebeln kriecht müde über die Straßen. Der trübe Schein der Straßenlampen schaft es kaum bis auf den Boden.
Nachdenken über den eigenen Platz in diesem grauen, kalten Universum.
Aufgaben haben sich verschoben. Das, was ich gerne tat, worin ich Erfahrung und ein breites Wissen habe, tritt immer weiter in den Hintergrund. Für Aufgaben, in denen ich mich sicher gefühlt habe, in denen ich Anerkennung erworben habe, habe ich immer weniger Zeit.
Statt dessen andere Aufgaben, von denen ich glaubte, sie schon lange hinter mir gelassen zu haben. Plötzlich wieder nachdenken müssen über das Leben anderer. Menschen, die mir nur wenig bedeuten... Aber nun muss ich mich mit ihren Träumen, mit ihren Wünschen und Hoffnungen beschäftigen. Und ich muss all diese Wünsche und Hoffnungen in Einklang bringen mit unserer harten, kalten Realität. Träume zerstören, Wünsche stutzen, Hoffnungen zunichte machen. Nicht immer, zum Glück - aber immer öfter.
Ich wollte an meinem kleinen Arbeitsplatz sitzen und mich nur noch um das kümmern, was ich am besten kann. Ich wollte Daten sammeln und interpretieren, Rat geben und vielleicht auf diese Weise die Welt hier ein bisschen bunter machen. Aber vor allen Dingen wollte ich in Ruhe gelassen werden mit diesen oft so kleingeistigen, beschränkten Wünschen anderer, die nichts mit meiner kleinen Welt zu tun haben. Ich mochte Menschen nie wirklich, und je älter ich werde, desto weniger mag ich sie...
Und jetzt muss ich mich erst recht mit diesen Menschen beschäftigen. Muss ihnen sagen, dass aus ihren Wünschen nichts wird, dass sie Aufgaben haben, die sich mit ihren Hoffnungen nur schwer vereinbaren lassen. Muss mir ihre Sorgen und Nöte anhören und teilnahmsvoll nicken, im sicheren Wissen, dass ich an ihrer Situation nichts ändern kann. Die Welt dreht sich um andere, nicht um uns.
Wie soll ich die Menschen unter diesen Umständen dazu motivieren, ihren Job weiterhin zu machen, im besten Wissen und Gewissen? Ich weiß es nicht...
Tageslicht streicht über den müden Nebel. Das trübe Licht der Straßenlaternen wird immer blasser. Das Grau wird dadurch auch nicht besser...
Die Stadt liegt noch still im Nebel, der sich nun leise zurückzieht. Von der Bucht klingt ein Nebelhorn, noch relativ weit entfernt.
Irgendwo schreit ein Kind. Hunger, ein schlechter Traum? Wer weiß das schon...
They sit together on a bench on a beautiful hill in The Shire. The sun is shining, it is warm but not hot. A gentle breeze blows, the green grass sways gently as Gandalf speaks a thought aloud. Then he takes out his pipe, puts tobacco in it and lets the smoke rise into the sky.
Severus thinks about Gandalf's words and his gaze turns to Rincewind, who is just sitting there perplexed, a teacup in his hand and his eyes elsewhere.
He has absolutely no idea what Gandalf is talking about, Severus thinks, as Rincewinds eyes fixes something far far away. Maybe Ankh Morpork, maybe a Hobbit on a field, or maybe just the smoke of Gandalfs pipe that wipes around Rincewind's nose.
Or something strange is in his tea that makes him stoned, he thinks and smiles.
This is the idea of my hubby. I think, this is the first step for Severus to see a change, to feel relieved and that he can sleep and dream peacefully again - or maybe the first time in his life.
It was a long time ago that he was able to sleep. There were times, he had to fight with himself to stay awake, because Dumbledore wanted to see him over and over again...
Now, after many things left behind, he is able to have peaceful nights without any hint of nightmares. On weekends he often stays nearly all the time in bed and he only gets up to make coffee or tea. He reads a lot, but no books about magic. The only magical thing at his side is his wand, but this one is not really in use.
Being in a house that I should call home feels strange. All the things around me are the same as ever, but I feel like I don't belong in this house in Spinner's End.
I don't want to complain at all, it's my parents' house, but the coldness it gives off makes me feel that I want to get away as quickly as possible.
Funny, isn't it?
After cleaning up the house, I feel a little more comfortable, and I am thinking about a decision for this house. Maybe one day I'll sell it and move somewhere else.
The idea feels good!
On the other hand, I don't want to rush anything. I want to approach everything calmly and I think first I will make a journey.
The candlelight flickered a little as I sealed my notice of quit. After that I got up to get the bottle of Laphroaig Whisky from Christmas. For a hole while I just sat there and thought about nothing.
And now? Now I'm drinking my whisky, my eyes are on the envelope on the table, and I realise that I smile. To be honest, first I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing, but now I know I did everything right - or just... (without wanting to be egotistical)... maybe the best for me. It's done, my quitting is here. I will leave Hogwarts.
How do I feel about it?
I can breathe, I feel liberated and relieved.
I am only one step away from freedom, the last big step now will be giving Minerva this letter.
How will she react? Should I care? Maybe a little, we were colleagues for many years, and it would be rude of me not to show any feelings.
I hope she'll understand me.
The idea for this little story of Severus is from my wonderful hubby. Thank you so much, my love! 😘
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