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Something something Ivan wants Till to look at him.

Something something Till was the first to saw Ivan.

Something something Ivan didn't see Till hesitate

Something something Ivan only allows himself to show his feelings only when Till has his eyes close

Something something eye experiment

Something something matching red dot

Something something the first and final time he see Ivan he can only watch

Something something eyes and Ivantill. Seeing and not seeing

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Hey so JK Rowling went full mask off and is advertising an explicitly terf store now.. Also sure is weird how TERF talking points usually consistently leave trans men out of these conversations and usually always direct their hateful rhetoric toward trans women.

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I can't stop thinking about the scene where Ivan finds Till and nuzzles his head against his. He was on that banquet for the same reason as Till, most likely went through the same treatment with the only difference being that he doesn't fight it so it will be less painful (but it isn't really)

So i think he not only felt bad about Till but for both of them. I've seen a lot of takes that say he didn't kiss Till because Till was unconscious and he knew that it was wrong after what Till went through, but i think a kiss didn't even occur to him.

He got out of that banquet and immediately looked for Till, perhaps out of just worry but i think he needs that human comfort as well.

His eyes were glassy the moment he looked at Till, he was keeping it together until he saw him.

And then he just... holds him close

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Guardian Urak after ROUND 6 (his fuckass pet that he barely invested in beat another guy's overly-invested in pet)

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the god of hope and ruin & the boy who fell in a sea of stars

alien stage sua / ivan parallels + lilith by halsey

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OKAY CAUSE LISTEN. (till character analysis let’s go) (apologies in advance this is LONGG)

if till is actually in love with mizi then there is literally no outcome in which him and ivan are happy.

because 1) he’ll never love ivan as long as mizi is alive, and 2) even if he thinks mizi is dead, ivan will only ever be a rebound, the second choice he turned to when mizi wasn’t an option.

however, i would like for you to consider that maybe, instead, the problem is that till doesn’t know how to properly process or identify his feelings. i would like to propose that maybe he misinterpreted his feelings for mizi as love when in actuality he views her as some unattainable idol to covet but not actually connect with (like parasocial relationships).

meanwhile, ivan was always there for him and slowly became a support system till didn’t even know he had. because even if he didnt feel LOVE for ivan, they definitely had a REAL relationship—arguably more real than anything he ever had with mizi. all of their interactions are just like. much more RAW than anything till ever had with mizi if that makes sense. because all we’ve ever seen him doing with her is admiring from afar and sacrificing things for her in secret that she never asked for, nor wanted from him. while with ivan they actually hung out with absolutely no expectations of anything between them (on till’s side at least. it wasn’t a performative relationship to be this self sacrificing person for ivan like it would’ve been if he were talking to mizi. which is ironically a much more healthy basis for a relationship. to fully see the person as being equal to you without putting them on a pedestal)

i think till’s way of coping with everything was finding someone else outside himself to live for and idolize. his entire life was built around mizi, every choice he made committed with her in mind (like when he chose to stay in the garden rather than escaping for her sake). and once she’s ripped away, he’s left feeling empty and aimless—the center of his very world is no longer there.

HOWEVER.

this is shaken by ivan’s death. even though mizi was always his center, he can’t exactly not be affected by someone who’s been at his side for YEARS. and, unlike with mizi, their bond was definitely real and very much tangible for BOTH sides (despite meaning different things for each of them). but when ivan died FOR him, till felt something that was very real and very confusing which was very much a mixture of raw emotions he wasn't prepared to face feeling from anyone apart from mizi. because while mizi is his ideal, i think his feelings about her were always accompanied by a sense of disconnect because they didnt have any actual basis for this bond beyond till simply yearning for her. but with ivan. they were friends. they trusted each other by this point, and ivan has shown that he cares for till REPEATEDLY throughout them knowing each other. and.

i think till subconsciously acknowledged that ivan was important to him, even if just as a background support in his life. someone he hung out with without thinking about it too much. and i think that sense of care came very gradually too. because ivan is a weird mf but he still managed to worm his way into till’s world, and now he’s a staple there, even if till himself isn’t aware of that.

mainly just my vibe here is that his feelings surrounding ivan are very messy and complicated (as real life emotions tend to be) and that wasn’t what till was looking for when he was younger. he needed something stable, something he could look at and idolize from afar. something he could dedicate his messed up life to without having to worry about other complicated feelings. and that was what mizi was to him. a purpose to live that was unchanging because no matter what till himself did or what happened to him, it didn’t affect HER. and that was comforting. but ivan existed outside of his little ideal. and he was a real person who (unfortunately :/ ) made till feel real things that were outside of his control. which wasnt what he needed when he was younger—he needed stability. but i think in the end he had the most chance of an actual developed, healthy, and consistent relationship with ivan.

that is, if bro wasnt dead 🙏🙏🕊🕊

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that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them

but. does ivan know that…?

the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love? probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself

because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"

but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—

surely this selfish wanting can’t be love

...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die

but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...

I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)

but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself

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Umm.... Alien stage but its human radiostatic...... 🏃💨

@chrizzisdead thanks for making the yummiest alastor ever and for watching videos with me during this 5 hour drawing marathon i lovr you

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Short radiostatic comic 🦌 📺

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the smiley (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

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so. we all agree that Vox would seethe in jealousy if he ever met a version of himself that’s close to Alastor, right? Like if he ever met his Radio Healed The Video Star (awesome fic btw) version, I think he'd reboot himself to see just What did he get wrong in his code. What has THAT guy done right?? He would shake hands with RHTVS! Vox and then almost dislocate his shoulder pulling him close to whisper: “How did you do it. How are you dating him.”

RHTVS! Vox would just take a nice few steps back and lift his arms up in surrender like “Hell if I know.”

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K, small HC moment of this AU. During their early years of established friendship, not yet a marriage, Vox spent his hours working on his plans for his future company, or simply out of a desire to relax, in Alastor's office where he broadcast his Radio show for silent companionship.

Alastor is a man of music, a man of jazz, a man of smooth melodies, so it was not at all a surprise to find a number of considerable musical instruments inside his office, much less when Alastor wasn't torturing victims for his show, he was offering long and pleasant segments of music. It was on one of those days that Al invited him to play the piano he had seen him ogle several times, and that little invitation quickly turned into a very personal ritual for the two of them, a very emotional tradition for both of them, the making of a melodic duet; Vox on piano and Alastor on vocals.

After some time at the hotel, some residents noticed his little penchant for playing the piano. It didn't take him long to invite Charlie and Angel, two residents he is most fond of and watches over the most, to observe one of his routines, and out of obligation, Nifty as well.

It is at that moment that he knows he has really gotten attached to the hotel.

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No filter. :V

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vox your pathetic side is showing

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More of themm