botaniia

[botaniia]

i think the most wholesome prank i ever pulled was with a friend who had a polaroid camera and we were out one evening walking around the neighbourhood and this one neighbour had a garden gnome and we kidnapped him for the evening and took a bunch of polaroids of his wild night out: gnome on the swing set, gnome climbing a tree, gnome laying down next to an empty bottle of vodka, gnome just causing an absolute ruckus and then we took all the pictures and put them in a little see-through food storage bag to keep them dry and put them under the gnome who we left on the doorstep of the house we got him from 

anyway a few nights later we walked past again and wondered if the photos had been found and what the person must have thought and then we saw the gnome in pride of place balanced on the window ledge, and stuck to the inside of the window behind him were the polaroids with a sign saying “The Boy On Tour” 

[botaniia]

[botaniia]

before the poll, a quick definition of terms:

"mutual" - you found this post from a mutual (on their blog or your dash) "following" - you found this post from someone you're following, but who isn't following you "random" - you found this by scrolling through someone's blog, who you don't follow. this includes people following you "For You" - you found this on the For You page "recommended" - you found this in a "Check out these blogs" popup, or a "recommended" post when looking at a different post "other" - you found this post some other way. comment how? "reblog ✅" - you're going to reblog, queue, or schedule this post "reblog ❌" - you're NOT going to reblog, queue, or schedule this post

with that out of the way:

[botaniia]

[botaniia]

I’m fine

[botaniia]

[botaniia]

So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward

what the fuck

[botaniia]

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

#?????

[botaniia]

[botaniia]

[botaniia]

Doofenshmirtz is kind of proof that you can, in fact, make one of the funniest characters out there by throwing shit at the wall.

He’s a supervillain, he’s amicably divorced, he was raised by ocelots, his evil ambitions only stretch as far as taking over the tri-state area, he’s in a romantically-coded/joked about rivalry with a sentient platypus, he’s a good dad, he once lost a fight with a potted plant, he was forced to be a lawn gnome. But most importantly, he never gives up.

[botaniia]

we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

[botaniia]

I love it when dogs try to help but the task at hand requires zero dogs so they just kinda stand in front of you and look serious.

[botaniia]

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

#fav #absolute fav

[botaniia]

newbie fic authors, shooting themselves in the foot: This fic is bad haha I suck at writing lol I am being mean to myself in the hopes that you will be nice to me but actually am dissuading anyone from even clicking on my fic because all I have done to advertise it is tell you why you shouldn't read it

me: I am King Big Dick of Fanfic Mountain and I have arrived in your fandom with the Express Intention of writing my Very Favorite Fics, which I will generously allow you to read. You're welcome.

#i attained the latter status within the first year of writing fanfic #behold my divine writing you WILL love it

[botaniia]

#death note then soul eater

[botaniia]

😭😭