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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 3 days
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Loputyn
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 5 days
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I love your writing! I have been engrossed in reading with your works for a few days now and I wanted to ask, how your writing process goes?
Hiya!! Thank you so much for the kind words, so glad you've been enjoying my stuff. My writing process is honestly all over the place, I write little snippets out of order, adding more and more each time and then do a final pass where I write connecting bits (and then obv edit everything). It feels very chaotic but it helps keep me from getting writer's block bc I can write whichever bit I want to. The hard parts always seem easier to write when you have the surrounding bits worked out anyways
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 5 days
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well i did draw some orcs. i tried to make usha a longer faced orc but that just becomes a troll??
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idk if i ever posted this sketch of my dk, anyway i did a new one in the corner yay. also lets gooooo got those inflated ranks from having a regular group and playing one of the least popular specs lol
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 6 days
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leopard seal selkie!
🎃 (i'm drawing a monster a day for oct!)
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 8 days
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I LOVE ur writing it’s so fucking good like I am going to order your book after my next paycheck after my this semester for college is over (lol broke bitch problems) they are amazing enough to where they can be reread multiple times over and still be just as amazing as the first time.
I did have one question out of curiosity but is the witches apprentice being continued? You don’t have to answer but I did want you to know ur amazing and ur work reflects that
Thank you so so much. This so incredibly sweet, a thousand smooches to you. And yes it is being continued!! I am simply very slow lol, hopefully I can get it out soon but no promises
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 10 days
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 10 days
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No roo roo? :(
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 11 days
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bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 12 days
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Something I love to read but never really explore satisfactorily in my own work is the idea of deception in monster romance. Being tricked or lured into loving something monstrous, a monster believing it can't be loved as its true self, so it must resort to disguise and trickery. A human realising very slowly, only after they have committed themselves to the romance that something isn't right, that niggling sense that they should flee being constant but also constantly overwritten by their own desire and affection. A monster that is dishonest, manipulative, desperate to be cherished so it will resort to any means necessary. A human that wants to resist the entrapment but on some primal, instinctive level, yearns to be trapped.
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 14 days
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-A conference-
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 16 days
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Two Sides
[Webtoon / Tapas / Patreon]
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 16 days
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the dark isn’t always that scary 😛
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 17 days
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Just wanted to say I love Vows and reread it at least once a week! The characters you create have such distinct personalities and I really enjoy the different ways they interact with eachother (also would love to be one of Rook's humans 😭)
You're too sweet, thank you so much, this absolutely made my day🥰🥰🥰
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 18 days
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Me *leaves a pile of assorted jorts in the woods*: for the werewolves
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 18 days
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Vows - Part 1
cw: consentual blood drinking, cockwarming, accidental voyeurism, polyamory, more tags will be added as the story continues
male vampire x afab reader
Word count: 6k
Vows Masterlist
You kept your back straight, trying to maintain what little dignity you had left standing before the man on the throne in front of you. 
You lost all of that when he looked you up and down and gave you a simple command.
“Kneel.”
You bit your tongue, doing your very best to keep a pleasant look on your face as you got on your knees. He couldn’t know how much you hated him. You wouldn’t blow this. 
Your valiant attempt to hide your disdain didn’t seem to have the effect you’d hoped. He looked down at you, sneering, and said, “I was told you’ve been quite eager to get in here. You don’t look eager.”
“I am not in the practice of fawning over men I’ve just met.”
He cocked his head to the side, eyes roaming over you, trying to get a read on you. 
His hair was dark, touched with hints of gray. His face was pale and smooth but not uncreased, particularly worn crow's feet in the corner of his eyes telling tales of a smile that you saw no signs of right now.
He looked down at you with eyes that looked faded, like a half-decayed corpse, and spoke through his fangs. “Why did you want to come here?”
You couldn’t pretend it was out of desire, he’d clearly seen right through that. So you tried another tactic. 
“I had nowhere else to go,” you admitted, looking up at him with sad eyes. 
His brows furrowed. “If you wanted shelter you could have asked for shelter, we would have given it. You took our vows. Why?”
He was right, you had. You’d signed your soul away. Your body too. For what, the chance to live in the home of a leech? You had no idea how anyone could agree to this, how he could have fooled any of the poor people who lived here, who he saw as dinner and as walking sex toys. It was dehumanizing. 
But it was also the easiest way to get close to him. To learn his secrets. 
His eyes softened as your gaze fell, your combative eye contact turning to something shyer, more nervous. 
“We don’t need to talk about that now. But you don’t need to be embarrassed, not here. And you certainly don’t need to be afraid. Whatever your reason, you’re here now, that won’t change unless you want it to.”
He rose from his throne and moved towards you, holding out his hand. You took it as you rose to your feet, not wanting to insult him any more than you apparently already had. 
“What can I call you?” you asked, still not having so much as a name for the man.
“Sir is fine.”
It took everything you had not to roll your eyes at him. 
“Now,” he said, his hand still wrapped around yours, his grip firm but not strong enough that you couldn’t pull away if you really tried. “I should show you around.”
It wasn’t much of a tour. 
He took you through the halls, up a spiral staircase, and past what felt like dozens of doors without uttering so much as a word to you. 
The monotony of the tour was disrupted when a young man came barreling down the hall. He was dressed in all white, his hair a curly blond. It was a bit too long and he pushed it out of his eyes as he skidded to a halt only for it to fall dutifully back into place. 
“Hey Rook I…” He did a double-take as he saw you. “Oh, hello. Haven’t seen you around here before.”
“I’m new.” Your tone was dry. You could tell from the two marks on his neck that he was one of the vampire’s disciples. You knew it wasn’t his fault he’d been fooled into staying here and fought the urge to resent him, to view anything associated with this monster as bad.
A massive smile took over his face. “Great, it’s always nice to have someone new around! I’m Oliver, by the way.”
“Hello.”
“Listen, I know it can be intimidating here at first but I promise he’s a sweetheart under all the dramatics,” he said, gesturing to the visibly frustrated man standing right next to him.
He didn’t take that well.
“You should run along,” Rook insisted, pressing a quick kiss into Oliver’s forehead and cutting off your conversation. “I think I’m going to have to give some special attention to this one.”
Oliver looked at the vampire with furrowed brows. “Okay. You’re being weird but okay.” He turned to you on his way out. “He’s not usually this weird, I promise. I mean, that’s not actually true, he’s always weird but like… different weird.”
“Oliver!” he hissed, his face twitching into what almost looked like embarrassment. 
“Okay, okay, I’m going. Just try not to scare them off.”
As you both watched them trail down the hallway, you turned to Rook and asked, “What happened to everyone calling you sir?”
“I didn’t say everyone had to call me that, I said you did,” he replied, an unmissable snideness in his tone.
Great, you’d been undercover for less than a day and he already didn’t like you.
You hadn’t had much further to go before your little interruption. Your room seemed to be only a few doors down. 
Rook held the door open for you, beckoning you inside. 
He stood in the doorway looking in at you, not entering the room. “The closet has clothes for you. That’s why we gathered your measurements after you took your vows, everything here should be perfectly fitted to you.”
“Thank you, Rook,” you said with a little curtsy.
“Sir,” he hissed at you, his fangs particularly evident as he spoke. 
“Rook,” you insisted, refusing to back down.
He conceded faster than you would have expected, a soft chuckle escaping him at your persistence. “Fine. Rook. Now get some rest. You can pick more of those fights you’re so desperate to pick with me in the morning.”
You immediately turned defensive, terrified of what he was implying. “No, I’m not… I just…”
“I’m not blind, and you have a worse poker face than you seem to think. I’m not worried, I’ve proved less understanding people than you wrong.”
“I really am sorry. I think I’m just nervous.” That much was true at least. You had a feeling your nerves wouldn’t subside until you left this god-forsaken place behind.
“It’s alright,” he promised. “We’ll work on that.”
The words sent a chill down your spine. What was intended to be reassuring felt threatening instead. Something about the way he spoke to you, all straight faces and hushed words, left everything he said feeling sinister. You decided that even if you didn’t know what he was, they would make you feel uneasy. 
It only left you more convinced he had the people here under some sort of spell. Surely he couldn’t have won them over, there must be something else at play. 
You’d half expected to be forced to stay with him your first night so you let out a sigh of relief as he turned without another word and left you in what appeared to be your own room. 
It wasn’t like you didn’t think he had the space, this place could house hundreds, you just weren’t sure of his morals. Or how impatient he would be to test your loyalty to his vows. 
You patted at your side, ensuring you could still feel the notebook you’d sewn into your skirts before you came. 
It was fairly thin. It needed to be able to let it sit, undetected, in the fabric just below your hip.
You hiked up your skirts, pooling the fabric in one arm as the other reached down and grabbed the silver dagger that lay flush against the inside of your thigh. You hadn’t known where it would be able to lie safe and undetected or how thoroughly you would be checked. 
You opened the wardrobe to try and asses where you could go about hiding your contraband from now on, your prior hiding spacing being spoiled by your new host's insistence upon extravagance. 
You considered hiding it somewhere in your room but quickly dismissed the thought. At least with them on your person you’d know if you were discovered. With them in your room, you could be compromised and in danger and be none the wiser. 
There were more clothes in the wardrobe than you’d owned over the rest of your life combined. There were suits and pants and skirts and dresses of every length, even ones that didn’t quite feel appropriate. 
Your gaze was drawn from those scandalous dresses as you realized that some in this closet, shoved into the corner, were sheer. Those you discarded immediately, you wouldn’t give him the pleasure. 
Despite all the variety in clothing types, it all seemed a bit one note. You were stricken with endless patterns of black and white. There were a few in plain black or plain white that you gravitated towards but the rest were covered in patterns. Diamonds and stripes and checked skirts, it was enough to give you a headache. 
The colors and patterns felt aggressive and gaudy when confronted with a whole closet of them, but you couldn’t help but admit that they were beautifully made. The fabric was the softest you’d ever felt. 
You pulled out a black dress, the one that felt closest to what you were used to, and started to put it on. You’d been searching for places where you could sew in secret folds when your hand went right through the skirt and into a pocket. 
You pulled the skirt upwards to evaluate and noticed that the stitching was far rougher there than any of the other seams, looking not unlike your secret pockets you’d become adept at making lately. 
Their presence couldn’t help but worry you. Who had these belonged to before? Who had felt so unsafe here they’d been set on creating hiding spots close to them. 
Whoever they were, they had more sense than the rest of Rook’s victims. 
Your fingers ran over the handle of the knife as you shoved it into your new pockets instead of reattaching it to your thigh. It was safer there, better hidden, but you wanted it at hand. You’d been reassured you wouldn’t have to use it, not on your first mission, but it was always good to have. 
Just in case. 
Your knife was still stowed away but the notebook remained out. You still had work to do. 
Quickly, afraid someone may walk in on you at any moment, you scribbled out a summary of your first day here. It wasn’t much but you’d been told to take note of everything. Besides, you’d never hunted a vampire before, you didn’t know what details were important yet. 
As you completed and folded up your note, you rushed to the window, unlatching it and looking around quickly for anyone surveilling you.
You noted a distinct lack of onlookers at the same time a pigeon landed on the window frame. 
Your face lit up as you saw him, your dutiful little messenger a welcome familiar face in this horrible place. You cooed at him for a moment, giving him a soft pet down his back.
“You’re so good. Told them you could find your way to me.”
But you didn’t have time to fawn over him, you needed to get this note out of here as quickly as you could. 
You attached the note securely to his leg and sent him on his way, staying at the window and watching him until you could see him no longer. 
With your mission for the night completed and your little friend finally out of sight, you gave yourself permission to rest. 
Taking up most of the room was a massive bed, with black blankets pulled over white sheets and sheer black curtains hanging around it. 
The bed was so nice and perfect you couldn’t bring yourself to disturb it, instead curling up on top of the perfectly made bed in the house you didn’t belong in. 
You woke up with a jolt, already filled with adrenaline. The sun was shining through the window and you felt a pang in your chest at the implications of the fact that you had a window at all. He had to avoid the sun, it caused vampires pain and sapped them of most of their strength. Most avoided houses with windows entirely, wanting a space to hide away from it. 
But no, you’d been given a window. This really was your space, a space that half the time he was likely to avoid. 
You realized you’d slept in much later than you’d intended. So much for getting up early and poking around. 
For most vampires you’d be right where you needed to be, most of them were nocturnal but there were a lot of patterns Rook didn’t follow that most vampires did. 
He seemed to prefer following the sleep patterns of his disciples who lived with him, or at least you thought he did based on the little intel you had. 
It was his house so he didn’t need to be invited in anywhere. Instead, it had wardings that meant only those invited could step inside, hence why you were on your very first mission, all alone. You were the only one who’d never been in the limelight, who vampires wouldn’t know to watch out for so here you stood, invited inside with the rest of his little humans. 
If you couldn’t snoop, you should at the very least try and gather information from him. 
You stormed out of your room, set on gathering intel. 
You needed to have more to report this time. What you were doing wasn’t cutting it. You were supposed to be proving yourself and instead you were what, wandering around a mansion and picking petty fights?
You didn’t really know where he was so you took your best bet and headed down to the throne room. 
He wasn’t a ruler of anything, not really. It felt like it was more for his ego than anything. 
The massive wooden doors that led to it were shut with Oliver sitting on the ground beside them, like the world's least threatening guard. 
Upon closer inspection you realized he was knitting something, the pile of yarn next to him the same black and white as most of the things in this god-forsaken place. It didn’t help him appear more intimidating, that was for sure. 
As you reached for the door handle he made a noise of protest from his seat on the floor.
“I wouldn’t go in there,” he called out. “Rook said not to let anyone in.”
“I don’t care what Rook said,” you insisted. “I need to talk to him.”
“I really wouldn’t if I were you…”
You left his calls of protest behind as you stormed into the room.
Rook was sitting on his throne, but he wasn’t alone. 
There was a girl in his lap. You couldn’t see her face, her back facing you as she straddled him. Her long, red hair hid most of her from your sight but it failed to cover her lower half and your face heated at the sight of her plush, unclothes thighs hugging his midsection, her dress hiked up around her waist. 
He pulled her head to rest on his shoulder and you caught a glimpse of both her face and neck, a trail of blood gently trickling down her side, staining her white dress bright red. From what you saw she looked completely out of it. You weren’t even sure she noticed you coming in. 
“Would you like something,” he prompted, his arm wrapped protectively around the girl on his lap. Something in you churned at the sight and you forced it back down. 
You didn’t say a word, turning on your heels and storming right back out of the room. 
Oliver looked up at you, fighting back a smile as the heavy door fell shut behind you.
“I tried to warn you,” he said, amusement radiating off of him and you wondered if maybe everyone in this god-forsaken place was an asshole. 
You spent the rest of the afternoon seething. You weren’t even entirely sure about what, to be honest, just spending most of your time pacing and feeling generally upset. 
When Rook finally decided to show his face, you let it all out on him. 
The second he entered the room you were chewing him out. “What the fuck was that? Do you have to be getting your dick wet and feeding constantly? I mean, christ, it’s my first day here!”
He countered your aggression with a roll of his eyes. “You’re mad at me? Maybe if you listened to Oliver it wouldn’t have happened.” 
You avoided his gaze sheepishly. He was right, this was your fault. Your anxiety about this whole situation was manifesting as anger and you needed to get it under control. For the sake of the mission. 
“If you want to be rude to me, fine,” he continued, “but do not be rude to these people. They’ve done nothing but welcome you here.”
“It’s alright if I’m rude to you?”
“For now. I foresee that changing in the future but I don’t mind a challenge.”
Is that what he thought you were doing? Playing hard to get? It bought you time so you went along with it, wondering how long it would be before his patience snapped and you no longer had a choice
Your thoughts drifted back to the redheaded girl. His body language had read as protective but she’d been bleeding and she didn’t even seem to react to you coming in. Your mind couldn’t help but drift to the worst-case scenario. 
“How many people live here?” You asked, trying to get him to reveal if she was one of his pet humans or someone disposable, someone you should start quietly mourning.
“Right now? You’re met both of them. Well, met is a strong word, more like rudely stormed in on.”
If she lived here, she was probably alright. You’d do your best to find a way to check in on her, just to be safe.
At the revelation that only two humans lived here, you thought back to the only face you’d expected to see within these walls. “The man who measured me, the one who permitted me inside and made me take my vows. Where is he? Petyr, I think his name was.”
He was an older man, you’d guess late 50’s. He’d been a calming force when you’d met him, making your mission seem less daunting with the power of pleasant conversation, even if you couldn’t admit any of your real intentions to him. 
You would’ve appreciated his presence. Your only hope was that Rook hadn’t already gotten to him.
“He’s traveling,” Rook explained, a faraway look entering his already glassy eyes. “He always wanted to see the world. He’s spent far too many decades trapped in here with me so I sent him off to see it.”
You scoffed. “So that’s it? He got too old and you sent him off? You just discard your little lovers when they’re not young enough for you anymore?”
He looked genuinely hurt by the accusation. “You don’t know anything. I’d give the world for him to be here, for them all to be here. But they have lives to live, certainly more than I do. They’ve more than earned their dreams, I just try to help with the ones I can.”
At the clicking sound of approaching heels, you glanced down the hallway to see a woman with familiar long locks of ginger hair striding towards you. 
“I’m done taking insults from you. Play nice with her,” he hissed.
“Or else?”
He didn’t answer before storming off, leaving you to get acquainted with the redhead you’d already seen far too much of.
You turned back to her and saw her looking longingly after him as if she didn’t want to be left alone with you. Part of you couldn’t help but take offense to that. He was the monster, not you. If anything, you were going to be her savior. 
She let out a nervous giggle as she shifted her gaze from the hallway where your host had disappeared back down to her dress, a new one without blood dripping down it. “I’m sorry about earlier. Not the most dignified meeting we could have had.”
“It wasn’t your fault, I shouldn’t have been in there.” The mark on her neck had already begun to fade, healing much faster than a regular wound. However, you knew it would never fully heal, his mark would be on her skin for the rest of her life, claiming her. 
“Regardless, I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have seen me like that until much later, our third meeting at least.”
She smiled at her own joke and you could help but mirror it. 
“I’m Vivian, by the way. It really is lovely to meet you.” Her smile was so genuine it was hard to not have an immediate fondness for her. 
“It’s good to meet you too. Can I ask, are you alright?” You asked as you stared at the wound on her neck, the blood that had been spilling down her before completely absent except for that small reminder of its presence.
“Hmm? Oh yeah, just a little embarrassed. Rook says I shouldn’t be but you’re the first new person who’s come since I arrived, I wanted to make a good first impression.”
“No, not that. You just seemed out of it in there, he didn’t hurt you did he?”
“What, Rook? No, of course not. He was taking good care of me, I promise. Has he talked to you about when you want him to drink from you yet? It really isn’t scary, I promise. He’s very gentle.”
“People keep saying that to me and yet I haven’t seen any proof. He’s been nothing but an ass to me.”
That threw her off balance. “He has?”
“I think he thinks I’m a bit obstinate,” you said, hoping that was all it was. The alternative was that he’d become suspicious of you and that was something you couldn’t abide by.
“That doesn’t make sense,” she insisted. “He doesn’t mind a bit of pushback. God knows Oliver can be a handful and I’ve never even seen him get upset.”
“Well, he’s been plenty upset at me.”
“I’m sure you two just got off on the wrong foot,” she insisted. “He’s a little rough around the edges sometimes but hey, who here isn’t, right?”
You couldn’t help but bristle at the comment. 
She picked up on your reaction immediately. “No, I didn’t mean… It’s just, we’re all running from something, right?”
You nodded. You needed to stop being so aggressive, you were standing out far too much. “Yeah, of course, you’re right.”
“It’s alright,” she said, resting a reassuring hand on your arm. “It took me ages to get used to this place too. Try not to worry too much, it’ll feel like home before you know it.”
You doubted that.
Vivian wandered off, saying something about taking a nap and you retreated to your room. 
You were a mess. It felt like every time you tried to do anything here it ended up being a disaster that got you one step closer to being caught. You collapsed backwards on your bed, set on hiding in your room until morning. 
The universe seemed to have other plans.
A knock sounded at your door and you called out, “Who is it?”
“It’s Oliver, I’m coming in.”
He opened the door, not even waiting for you to call him in and he stared down at you, collapsed on top of your blankets. 
“Good your still dressed,” he said, extending a hand to help yank you to your feet. “You’re having dinner with Rook at sunset.”
Your blood ran cold at the thought of being alone with him and of what ‘dinner’ could entail for a vampire. 
“No.”
“Yes,” he insisted.
“I don’t want to,” you snapped back.
“Too bad. He said, and this is a direct quote, ‘they wanted to speak to me so fucking badly earlier, let’s give them an opportunity.’”
Oliver’s persistence in inviting you made sense, it didn’t sound like an offer one was allowed to refuse.
“Go hang out with Viv in the meantime or something, it’s awfully lonely in here,” he said, not waiting for a response before setting out on the move again. It was almost like he was allergic to standing still. 
You followed his advice, figuring you wouldn’t be able to relax knowing what was coming anyways. 
Vivian wasn’t hard to find, although you wouldn’t exactly say you found her. One second you were wandering down empty hallways and the next second she was behind you, tapping your shoulder to get your attention. 
“Hello,” she said, her persistent warmth immediately setting you at ease, even if her sudden appearance had frightened you. 
Vivian was an easy person to get along with. You spent the next few hours milling about with her, not talking about much of importance but passing the time much easier. 
She seemed determined to make you feel welcome. It was nice, feeling like you have a friend here, even if she could never be an ally. 
Oliver and Rook were entirely absent as you and Vivian wandered about. You made sure not to open any firmly shut doors this time. 
After a few hours, the moment you dreaded arrived. Vivian poked her head out the velvet curtains that were covering the nearest window and grinned at you. 
“Alright, Oliver said to send you down right about now. It’s right down that hallway.
Your heart skipped a beat as you stared down the dark hallway. Vivian didn’t seem to quite understand the magnitude of your anxiety, excitedly shooing you down towards the door. 
You entered a room that looked almost exactly like what you’d expect from a dining room in a house this big. The table was massive, spanning the humungous room. 
Something you hadn’t expected to see was the number of chairs. 
The table was completely devoid of them except for one Rook was sitting at right at the head of the table and another right next to him. 
You sat beside him, having no other choice in the matter. 
“This massive house and you can’t afford more chairs?”
“They were removed. It’s hard to talk all the way across the room.”
You resented the fact that he refused to even give you the option. 
The chairs that remained looked heavy and you couldn’t help but imagine Oliver and Rook desperately trying to push them out of the room in order to trap you next to him. Despite the less than optimal outcome, you had to fight back a smile at the mental image. 
“Did you sleep alright?” he asked, cutting through your daydreams of him. 
“Fine,” you responded bluntly. 
“Are you sure? Your bed was still made.”
You were suddenly very glad your knife and notebook were stashed in your pocket. “Why were you in my room? How did you even get in, I left the window wide open.”
“Ah, yes.” He looked embarrassed and you got the sense that he’d be blushing if he had the blood for it instead of being pale and cold. “Well, we don’t exactly have staff here, they’re too scared of me to come. Everyone mostly takes care of their own tidying but I look after the rooms of newcomers. And I just covered up until I could get the drapes closed, it’s not the easiest way to move but I only have to travel the length of a room.”
Your accusation suddenly felt cruel. There was something so earnest about his words, something sheepish at the fact that he was picking up after you. “Oh. Okay. Well, the bed was just so lovely and made so well, it felt rude to mess it up.”
He smiled. “Well, I’m glad you appreciate my bed-making skills but I promise I don’t mind if you sleep under the covers. That is what they’re made for.”
The conversation put you more at ease, feeling less like you’d been brought here to be interrogated and more like this was a ploy from Rook to make you like him. It almost felt worse this way, the way he seemed to be trying to hide his eagerness to make you feel welcomed. 
You looked down at the plate of food in front of you, finally convinced it was probably safe to eat, and noticed that it was the only one on the table. The spot in front of Rook was entirely empty. 
“You’re not going to eat?” you asked as you took a bite of the food. It made you a little angry how good it was and for some undiscernible reason, you hoped Oliver had made it. Like that would make it alright that you’d enjoyed it. 
He shook his head. “Can’t. Solid food are beyond me I’m afraid.”
“Why would you invite me to dinner then,” you asked, baffled by the decision.
“It seemed like a good time to talk. Besides, it’s a good way to make sure you eat. Viv is very concerned about you, says you’re not handling all this very well.”
She might’ve been right to be. With everything going on, eating had been the last thing on your mind. “I’m just nervous,” you justified weakly. 
“So you keep saying.”
He watched you eat, studying you as you made your way through the dish. Finally, you grew tired of his observation and set down the fork. 
“I can’t help but wonder, am I playing right?”
“Playing? This isn’t a game.”
“Yes, it is.” you insisted. “All of this has been, despite the fact that you declined to inform me of it. I think you like when it's a game. So am I playing correctly or have I already lost?”
“You barely know me and yet you pretend to know so much.”
“Am I wrong?”
“About this? No. Might be a first since you entered this place but you are not wrong.”
You scoffed. “What do you want from me?”
“You came here. You act as if I forced you into my home.”
“And you let me in. But you’re not making me give you anything so what do you want, why am I here? Why should I want to win?”
“I want you to trust me. That’s where this has to start.”
“And where does it end?”
“That depends on you. If you keep behaving like this it might end with you never trusting me.”
You worried when that end might be. “So I am losing. Good to know, And of course I don’t trust you, I don’t know anything about you.”
“Alright then,” he said as he leaned back in his chair, the corner of his mouth quirking up before he could manage to suppress his smile. “Go on.”
“With what?”
“Getting to know me.”
This was your opportunity, he’d just all but given you permission to ask all the questions you wanted. Not wanting to let the chance pass you by, you blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “So you drink blood.”
He smiled, baring his fangs at you as he did. “See, you know some things about me.”
“Are you going to drink from me?” you pressed on, refusing to let him steer you off track. 
“If you want me to.”
“And if I don’t? Isn’t that what you brought us here for?”
He scoffed. “I’m building a community here, not a buffet.” 
You just continued on with your questions. “Do you kill people?” 
“Not unless it’s self-defense, same as most people I’d assume.” He chuckled as he answered but you didn’t find it funny. 
“Let me rephrase then. Have you killed people?”
“Noone who didn’t try and kill me first.” That answer he didn’t chuckle through. 
He looked you right in the eyes as he stated it. It felt like a promise. You just weren’t certain if it was a promise not to hurt you or a promise of what would happen if you tried to hurt him.
“I don’t know if I believe you,” you said. You didn’t have to do much acting to appear nervous around him but you hoped it might help. Maybe if he knew you were afraid of him he’d give you space.
“You should. Vampires can’t lie.”
You perked up at that. “Is that true?” you asked incredulously.
He just raised his eyebrows and gave you a shit-eating grin.
You had half a mind to throw something at him. 
He didn’t apologize for his stupid little joke, which was well enough because you wouldn’t have forgiven him. Instead, his eyes darted down to your half-finished dinner. 
“You going to finish that?”
You crossed your arms. “I’ve lost my appetite.”
“Don’t be like that, we were having fun! You were playing the game. Well, if you’re really done, come on,” he said, offering you his hand. “I’ll show you the gardens. You’ll like them. Everyone does.”
There were few decisions you could’ve made that felt as deeply ill-advised as going on a walk with him, alone, as the sun had already set. 
You told yourself it was because there wasn’t an easy way out but honestly, you weren’t so sure, and you took his hand. 
He led you outside, the grip on your hand less firm than it had been last time. 
“Where are the flowers,” you asked when confronted with walls of bushes as the two of you stepped outside. 
“There aren’t flowers. It’s a hedge maze.” 
You snorted out a laugh. “Why do you have a hedge maze?”
“Every self-respecting mansion has a hedge maze.”
“That’s absurd,” you insisted.
“Well, maybe I’m absurd. Either way, absurd or not, everyone loves the hedge maze. Want to give it a try.”
The idea of being lost and alone, or worse, lost and with Rook, wasn’t exactly appealing to you. “Not really.”
“Suit yourself.”
“I have more questions for you,” you said, figuring you should at least take advantage of this alone time that you’d foolishly agreed to. “I mean, if you don’t mind.”
“Go ahead. I hope they’re more fun than your last ones.”
“Can you actually turn into a bat?”
“Yes, I can.”
“Can I see?”
“No. Maybe someday but that’s something I only do with people I trust and as someone very cross with me once said, I can’t trust you, I don’t know anything about you.”
“Okay. Another question then. What’s with all the black and white?”
“Don’t you like it? It feels fitting to me. The light and the dark, the wars that are waged, reflected on everything here.”
Your nose scrunched up as he talked, waxing poetic about two colors that you couldn’t quite bring yourself to care about. 
As he went on, you began to put some of the pieces together as he spoke. “Your name is Rook too. That wasn’t your given name I assume.”
“My favorite chess piece. Honest, direct, noble.”
“Okay,” you said, cutting him off before he could start rambling again. “Be that as it may, you shouldn’t impose your weird chess thing on us. Some of us like colors.”
“My weird chess thing?” His voice cracked as he questioned you, snorting out a laugh at your comment. “You are so rude, where were you raised?”
You clutched your chest in mock pain. “Sorry, not all of us were raised in a mansion Rook.”
“I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t realize most people went around insulting one another so freely.”
“I think you’d be surprised. If you went out in the world wearing some of those outfits you gave me I think you’d hear some choice words thrown your way.”
The thought inspired yet another question from you. “When you talked about needing a special outfit to close the window, is it like, a big sun hat? A black and white one of course.” 
“More like a sheet ghost.”
You giggled and he laughed along with you, looking down at you fondly and with some undeniable smugness present on his face. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked, quickly snuffing out your laughter. 
 “You’re not afraid. It’s the first time since you got here that you weren’t terrified of me.”
You hadn’t even noticed that the bubbling fear that lived in your chest had faded out as the two of you had spoken, “How could you possibly tell?” 
“I can smell it. All those chemicals in your blood.” 
“Stop smelling my blood,” you practically shouted, smacking at him.
He let out an almost boyish laugh as he dodged your attack. “I can’t help it, that’s like asking you to stop smelling the flowers.”
“There are no flowers,” you pointed out.
“Well, in theory. I can’t just turn it off. Trust me, if I could I would.”
After a moment of thought he added, “You know what this means, don’t you?”
“Not a clue.”
“It means I won. This battle, at least.”
You rolled your eyes. “You’re insufferable.”
A tempest of competing emotions fought in your chest. You were a fool, you were giving in to him. The hunters didn’t want you here for this exact reason, he must be hypnotizing you or something. 
That felt more believable than you having a pleasant conversation with him. 
With his victims? Maybe. They were people with souls, albeit misguided people. But not with him.
You felt like you were losing control. Of all the things you’d imagined when you got here, this was the furthest thing from your mind and yet you couldn’t deny it, especially after he’d as much as said it.
You’d stopped being afraid of him, for however brief a moment. 
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bucketsofmonsters ¡ 19 days
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and i forgive you.
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