candite

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when your anxiety is constant but you do a really good job of pretending it’s not there

Originally posted by spongebrah

#gif 0

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#this junk is mad gay.

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Finn and storms like to share hairstyles

#princess b. #Finn the human

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Anonymous requested PB with her babies for mothers day

#princess b.

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let me just make one thing clear

i have no clue what’s going on, ever, in any moment, at any point in time. who knows what’s going on? not me. not ever

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during a makeout session

me: fuck, not again

me: why is the what's new scooby doo theme stuck in my head

girl: what

me: nothing, never mind

me, internally: what's new scooby doo, we're coming after you, gonna sooolve that mystery

#this is a terrible post

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@emeowji I can't answer how it is it just is. Just like how death sometimes plays in my girlfriends band. Life and Death are dating and I'm happy for them.

#ic. #I'm sure they could choose to be something else if they wanted but at the moment they're just two snakes in clothes

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It's a little messed up that the physical manifestation of life is two snakes Ina trench coat.

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Princess Bubblegum i found the children that were bullying Sweet P there was three of them the first one is a orange gumdrop with green hair the second one is a purple gumdrop with a green bow and the third one is a golden biscuit with a baseball cap

They're all mad grounded.

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So in lore, vampires have this trait that I’ve almost never seen used, and that’s the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.

Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstep–poppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.

If they didn’t immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, they’d be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadn’t counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldn’t be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether it’s possible to make them lose count and start over.

Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.

Vampire accountants who are an honest company’s best asset and a corrupt company’s bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.

Vampire cashiers that don’t need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.

Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.

MATH NERD VAMPIRES

#marceline can't count

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I modeled a candy citizen after life so they're two spur gummy worms that are wrapped around one another. They can split apart and live individual lives but they'll always feel more whole together.

#ic. #food 0

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me [searching the beach with my child]: sorry honey, doesn't look like there's any sand dollars left

child: can't the ocean just make more of them?

me: and cause inflation? destroy the sand economy? jesus christ Tiffany, use your head

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bae: I love you me: I love…….that concept

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   ‘’I don’t know what happened...but i’m gonna kick Finn in the butt today.’’

#ic.

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Princess Bubblegum yes Sweet P is enrolled in school but unfortunately he was getting bullied by children by calling him ugly baby man and he was being called ugly baby man by the King of OOO and Toronto

That's bunk. I need to know which kids were bullying him because they're gonna get mad grounded.