celiahillsworld-blog

[celiahillsworld-blog]

Rise

A storm is coming

I can feel it brewing

I'm done being sad

I'm done being angry

Nothing I say can make life rewind

The only thing I have left to be is glad

Every day is new and beautiful

I'm worth more than I give myself credit for

My beauty is deeper than I have recognized

Even my flaws are a piece of my soul

I'm confident in who I am.

I won't let any more hurt make me feel like nothing.

I'm clawing to the surface

Watch out, because I won't back down for anything.

[celiahillsworld-blog]

So true

[celiahillsworld-blog]

Alone, not lonely

I'm sitting in an adorable Italian Restaurant tucked away in the city of Colorado Springs. Food is to die for, the owner is actually from Italy! I look around as I'm the only one dining alone and smile. I'm happy and no one can take that from me. It's a sense of calm and peace when you realize you're living for YOU!

#love yourself #life is amazing

[celiahillsworld-blog]

Is it all about Love?

What is love? Does true love exist? Is anyone ever in love or is it just a glorified infactuation? Does monogamy exist? I personally have not witnessed that it does.   Can you commit to someone wholeheartedly and know it's that person that takes on your pain as their own and vice versa? I used to believe that was true. I want to believe in it. I want to believe love is pure, patient and is more simple than people see. I have never been in love and want to know what it is that we chase about it? 

After reflecting upon my own marriage. The beginning, middle and end. I started listening to other's about their marriages. Studied people's behaviors and am trying to understand what about love do we chase? Companionship, sex, feeling like we are someone's form of happiness? Is it more comfort? Stability in the forms of financially, kids, lazyness? I've witnessed all forms of why people stay married. I may not agree, but it isn't my life. I don't judge, because I don't know what goes on behind closed doors. 

For me I've experienced all of the emotions of grief and loss. Sometimes, out of the blue and full force. No warning at all and I feel angry and depressed. I may wake up one day and want the old comfort of my life back, so I may bargain with myself and my ex. These feelings are starting to pass quicker and quicker each day. When I get through it, it is almost like overcoming a panic attack, I smile. I smile because I am alive to experience emotions and know I am growing and learning myself again Then I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. That's acceptance. It's knowing you may have days of missing your marriage or that person that meant so much to you. It's also accepting you're okay. You have the world ahead of you and life's possibilities are endless.