If you’re 24 messing with an 18 year old… you’re a creep and a predator 💀
I’m so scared to let my guard down and it’s killing me bc it’s seriously stopping me from really good opportunities.
Insanely terrified of whatever the universe is trying to do for me right now. These opportunities, these people, these feelings… fuck.
“And I’m weak cause I believe you And I’m mad because I love you So I stop and think that may be You can learn to appreciate me Then it all remains the same that You ain’t never gonna change See my days are cold without you But I’m hurtin’ while I’m with you And though my heart can’t take no more I keep on running back to you”
Sometimes I feel bad. I worry, a lot. I hear about your downfalls and while a part of me smirks and thinks about how karma is coming for that ass, there’s still a part of me that sees your face in my mind. I still see the real you that I know deep down and I want to cry for you. I think about your situation and your ways that you’re stuck in. I think about how you lie and cheat and do the most disgusting things… I think about how you live and move and I feel bad for you. I just feel bad because you are stagnant. Immature. Insecure. Still seeking validation from people who don’t give a fuck about you.
I feel bad for doing what was best for me. After years of dealing with the same shit I had to get out. I got tired of begging, crying and arguing. And yet I’m the one left feeling bad for how it inconvenienced you. I wanted to hit you where it hurts, and I know it hurts, but it hurts me yo do that. I feel bad for my cat, our cat, and I wish I could let you see him. I want you to see him and I know he misses you, but I also know you don’t deserve that privilege. I feel bad when i see memes you’d really like and I realize I can’t send them to you anymore. I feel bad for telling people the truth and still hide so much…
I don’t want to feel bad about choosing myself first anymore. I don’t want to feel bad about freeing myself. But I just do. And I guess that’s because when you really love someone and they’re more than just your lover, they’re your best friend, you never think you’ll have to cut ties with them and have things this way. My heart is always in the right place, but fuck it hurts sometimes.
My baby boy. Never known a love so strong for a cat lmao.
Sometimes the littlest things can set me off into a hysterical crying fit and tonight it was a fucking Snapchat memory. Fuck this.