chaosdisorganized

[chaosdisorganized]

Bring Me The Horizon - Doomed

[chaosdisorganized]

Somebody might need to hear this: hey. That was a really scary thing you had to go through. What an awful feeling to be carrying around. So deep inside where no one can hurt you like that ever again. If no one else has ever told you this before then I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you made it. And I'm so fucking sorry you had to see it to begin with. You absolutely did not need to see that. Not ever.

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it’s ok if your healing is taking longer than you thought it would or should. it’s so normal and you can’t put a time limit on it.

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Dude I love your blog. I'm a big fan of the cries for help

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[chaosdisorganized]

Madeleine L'Engle

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:3

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therapy isn't enough i need to have a tea party with my 7 year old self and tell her she didn't deserve anything that happened to her

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Didn't you think I already blamed myself enough for this?

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I'm not even kidding I think food service jobs are the hardest customer service jobs that exist and if you have them on your resume long enough that it's clear you could maintain them people should be begging on their hands and fucking knees for you to work for them.

#i did food service for almost 3 years #that shit sucked #i would rather wipe ass everyday of my life than ever go back into food service #only benefit is food service taught me a lot of patience and now i can use that skill with my patients lol #woo fuck food service

[chaosdisorganized]

dissection / diagnosis

instagram | prints

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[chaosdisorganized]

I've been struggling really bad these past couple of months and idk if it'll let up. Work is stressful. My relationship has been stressful recently. Life is stressful. And its all on top of stress I already feel constantly from my trauma. It goes hand in hand too, the more stress I feel from life the more ptsd symptoms pop up, then when I start having more symptoms I get even more stressed out and it's just a spiral I can't seem to get out of.

I cant go one day without thinking about my father and what he did to me. It's killing me, I just want to get it out of my head. I keep thinking how could he do that? How could nobody notice? Why didn't anybody do anything? Nobody cared enough about me I guess. I keep going back and forth too, sometimes I have a hard time believing it myself, sometimes it's too true it's painful. I just wish this would all go away and I'll wake up one day and just be fine. But it did happen and it's not just going to go away on its own no matter how much it fucking hurts. It's tearing me apart. It's continuing to ruin my life just as it always has. It's so fucked up and I'm so mad and heartbroken and hurt. Idk what to do.

#vent

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[chaosdisorganized]

I feel so disconnected from everything

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