cinnadove

[cinnadove]

a sequel to this post

#reblog

[cinnadove]

You know, one thing we find annoying about therapy and such is that their first thought is that we should work on quieting the system. Like people keep asking us if our meds help quiet "the voices" and they say we need to work on not letting others control the body. I don't think this is fair. What about those who rely on their system? Those with in-sys relationships? Those who are just used to it? Those who love their system? It's not fair to assume that all plural folks want to get rid of their systems. Yes, there are those who do, but there are plenty who don't. It's not fair for them to just take us away from each other because it's what THEY (as singlets) think is best. I just wish they would teach us how to live as we are now and stop trying to get rid of us.

#reblog

[cinnadove]

Y'all people do not understand how fucking harmful ableism towards systems is. You really do not get it. It fucked me up so bad. My ex partner said straight to my face "Your DID makes me kinda uncomfortable."

I was so open about my system. I was healing. Our amnesia was getting better, we could communicate, trauma wasn't as scary when we were all working together. All of that is gone now and it's because of how my ex partner treated my system.

I can't be open about it anymore. I feel like I have to hide it. I feel disgusting. I feel like no one will love me. I'm scared to switch because I feel like my partner might leave me if I do. My ex made me SCARED to have an already scary disorder.

Ableism is a beast that can destroy people with a single sentence.

#reblog #real we had some rough af experiences early on that made it rly hard for us to be open abt it #we're trying to get better tho

[cinnadove]

hey, reminder that thinking you’re faking is literally part of the diagnostic criteria for systemhood. all systems doubt themselves, or have before. it’s annoying and frustrating but it’s completely normal. you aren’t faking, you’re just experiencing normal systemhood.

#reblog #real and true

[cinnadove]

Talking with another system is like. There are 4 bots having a conversation right now

#cinnadove originals #gg.txt

[cinnadove]

when new alter fronts for the first time;

#reblog #throwback 2 my first day out where i got berated by our hostz mom and cried in the bathroom 4 like an hr

[cinnadove]

when your productive alter goes dormant

╰ 💿

#reblog #the otherz when im not here...... -maddie

[cinnadove]

Shout out to the people who never had a safe place. Who didn’t have a before trauma. Who were loved but not protected. Who were collateral damage in someone else’s breakdown. Who got fucked up so young that they’ll never know who they could have been.

Shout out to people who’ve never felt safe. I hope you do someday.

#reblog #i hope so too

[cinnadove]

it's funny bc like. i see myself as. a Self Taught Person. my parents didn't exactly try to teach me how to be a person i just figured it out mostly. still not really succeeding though

#reblog

[cinnadove]

Made a meme

#reblog #dash tried 2 get us 2 buy a fuckin $150 plushie 4 him. who do u think u are rich boy.

[cinnadove]

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.

#reblog #RLY good ty

[cinnadove]

Systemhood:

#reblog #ya.

[cinnadove]

Systems be like "I'm gonna get shit done today!" Then sit in front of the computer and grey-out the whole day

#reblog #LITERALLY SO FUCKIN REAL

[cinnadove]

ok i have a question for other systems bc i was wondering on how the vibes are

if you want to, please reblog for more visibility!

#cinnadove originals #mabel.txt #did system #did community

[cinnadove]

do any of y'all get the like. directly in your forehead kinda headache when you switch or is that just me. cuz that shit hurted sometimes

#cinnadove originals #mabel.txt

[cinnadove]

"Trauma builds character!"

Well unfortunately for me it actually managed to build several

#reblog

[cinnadove]

"none of my alters have fronted recently, does that mean i'm faking?"

hey. you're an alter too, remember? you are as much a part in this team as any other part. you're important. just because other alters haven't fronted recently doesn't automatically mean you were wrong, or "faking". parts get front stuck; it happens! switching slows down; it happens! the rest of the system quiets down for a while; it happens! especially if you are newly-discovered.

be patient. be kind to yourself. you are the only alter that needs to front right now in order to be "valid". you know what you've experienced, you know you aren't trying to fake this, so know that fronting alone for a while will not take these experiences away from you.

good luck & take care. 🤍

#reblog #putting thiz one first bc ik our host getz worried abt thiz sooo fuckin much