contract-crawdad

[contract-crawdad]

if you don’t like glob herman first of all how dare you

[contract-crawdad]

[contract-crawdad]

i love it when people trap the warden in minecraft by making a moving piston that makes noise so the warden just quietly stares at it. ipad baby

[contract-crawdad]

[contract-crawdad]

great, my post is in some sort of dungeon

[contract-crawdad]

i saw generic horny anime girl art of marcille and it was so fucking jarring. i'm used to any thirsty art of her involving her being like, covered in blood and kissing girls with tongue. seeing that elf posed seductively in lingerie is like seeing a polar bear in oklahoma. she doesn't belong there!

[contract-crawdad]

[contract-crawdad]

more sci-fi/fantasy dynastic empires should feature the emperor or empress just cutting out the middle-parent and cloning themselves. I want scenarios where they make like five clones and then force their potential heirs to fight it out and see who the best (evilest? most willing to sit back and watch their siblings murder each other?) mini-me is. I want "I'm nothing like you" yelled at your clone-parent over treasonous regicidal family dinner with like, 12 identical imperial portraits hanging overhead. I want the death of the self in pursuit of immortality. I just think this could really take dynastic familial dysfunction to the next level.

[contract-crawdad]

"Don't be a Job Hopper" 1940s Disney WWII propaganda poster

[contract-crawdad]

Dude that is too much slop for him

[contract-crawdad]

[contract-crawdad]

toad vocalizations

[contract-crawdad]

Plot twist: the two boys you're choosing between are polyamorous, but they also hate eachother's guts so you still have to pick one

[contract-crawdad]

STOP no more live-action remakes. We're going the other way now. Animated Casablanca. Animated The Godfather. Animated Oppenheimer. Animated Fight Club.

[contract-crawdad]

as royalty he deserves it but can i not still weep at the cruelty

[contract-crawdad]

i really love this because laios is going up against what is essentially god and he's saying "chilchuck. your very important task to help save the world is to keep being a hater."

[contract-crawdad]

"genre-savvy" no i want a genre-unsavvy protagonist. scratch that, i want a genre-deluded protagonist.

i want a protagonist who is convinced until the last possible moment that they're in a lighthearted romcom--despite the proliferation of slasher murders. give me a soccer dad who is just so determined to enjoy family vacation, despite the fact the kids summoned an eldritch deity from the lake. a preteen who is experiencing a coming-of-age saga and annoyed their parents aren't emotionally present (the parents are distracted by a literal zombie apocalypse). endless possibilities