coraaahhh

[coraaahhh]

𓂃 𐚁̸ ⊹ ִֶָ 𝓙𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗄 lockscreens ꒱

[coraaahhh]

@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks

[coraaahhh]

the most challenging part of my trip abroad? not taking home all of the gorgeous uk covers of books i already own :,)

[coraaahhh]

Taylor Jenkins Reid, Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

[coraaahhh]

You know what's thoughtful? Asking someone to finish their story when they get cut off in a group conversation. It's such little gestures that mean the most.

[coraaahhh]

so, i am not the biggest fan of the thg movies. i mean, will i get goosebumps every time i watch the ending scene of mockingjay: part one? of course. no question. every single time. it is literal art.

but my number one beef with the movie is probably how they took reverent aspects of the books and either completely overused them until their meaning was obscured or got the message suzanne was trying to send entirely wrong. and it literally makes me go batshit crazy.

i mean, rue's four-note melody and the three-finger salute were overused so much. and only demonstrated within the context of the rebellion.

in the books, rue's melody signified safety (thg, 232). and the three-finger salute represented thanks, admiration, and saying goodbye to someone you love (thg, 24). and these are things that, in a cruel world like panem, are sacred. and should be treated with soft veneration.

and what takes the cake for me is 'the hanging tree' song becoming the soundtrack for the revolution. like, who is making this movie? plutarch?  

👏the👏hanging👏tree👏is👏not👏a👏war👏anthem👏

it is a somber song about someone beckoning their lover to join them in death rather than face the cruelty of the world (mj, 247). and what about that seems relevant to the districts marching to the beat of revolution? katniss never seems to think so.

and it just felt like the movie lost all of this reverence for these symbols in the book. now rue's melody is the calling song for the rebellion. now the three-finger salute is another way to stick it to the capitol. and the hanging tree song, rather than being a ballad about the tragedy of love in a cruel world, is just another part of propaganda to bolster the troops.

every single sacred thing in the book is used so often in the context of the rebellion that it seems to reduce them to propoganda, which sounds just like the capitol and district thirteen. and is exactly what suzanne was arguing against. the. entire. series.

[coraaahhh]

“I’ve decided to make myself strong. As far as I can tell, that’s all I can do.”

— Haruki Murakami

[coraaahhh]

“I always feel like I’m struggling to become someone else. Like I’m trying to find a new place, grab hold of a new life, a new personality. I guess it’s part of growing up; it’s also an attempt to reinvent myself.”

— Haruki Murakami

[coraaahhh]

One real benefit of reading I rarely hear anybody mention is how much more interesting life becomes when you read a lot. It depends what you’re reading, of course, but most (good) books will teach you something you didn’t already know, and even if you have to give the book back to the library, you get to take that much with you. A lot of people talk about things they wish they’d studied in school–I’ve done it, too–but it’s a nice consolation prize that you can always pick up a book and learn something new. And as that library in your brain collects more volumes, everything around you gains new resonances, new context, and new connections which make your lived experience richer. In quarantine alone I’ve read about religion and politics and history and evolution and computer science and astrophysics without even leaving my house and it’s already a more interesting world. 

[coraaahhh]

[coraaahhh]

“They teach you growing up that you are only one thing at a time—angry, lonely, content—but he’s never found that to be true. He is a dozen things at once. He is lost and scared and grateful, he is sorry and happy and afraid.”

V.E. Schwab, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

[coraaahhh]

[coraaahhh]

🫶🫶🫶

[coraaahhh]

the barbie movie really said "give me back my girlhood it was mine first" and i've never wanted to go back to being a girl playing with dolls on the living room floor more than right then

[coraaahhh]

Men Without Women by Haruki Murakami

#wideeyedreads #books #men without women #haruki murakami

[coraaahhh]

“I wasn't hurt enough when I should have been. When I should have felt real pain, I stifled it. I didn't want to take it on, so I avoided facing up to it. Which is why my heart is so empty now. The snakes have grabbed that spot and are trying to hide their coldly beating hearts there.”

—Haruki Murakami, Kino (Men Without Women)

I relate to this on a deeper level. The last few years has been really hard for me, leaving me struggling to cope. It's either I have to wear my little rose-colored glasses or sink into the depths of my depression. In the end I had no choice but to take the former, but instead of adapting optimism, I've realized all this time all I've ever done was shut down and suppress my emotions that I ever hardly feel them. When I should have felt sad, disappointed, or mad, what merely surfaced is my disconnection to my emotions. I have tucked them away; zipped in a bag with my dirty laundry and my baggages in the dark corner of my being. Maybe that's why all this time, despite not being blacked out and bruised, I do not feel relieved nor satisfied. I feel nothing and in result, everything seems empty.

I hope that everyone will be able to wrap their selves when it comes to pain. It is definitely exhausting to constantly have sadness as your emotion. Sometimes, you have to question life if it really needs to throw another suffering at your face? Will it matter? Will it really help me be a stronger person? I do not know as well.

I'm just the same, I only cling to the hope that all's well that ends well.

#haruki murakami #men without women #wideeyedreads

[coraaahhh]

I have this strange feeling that I'm not myself anymore. It's hard to put into words, but I guess it's like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling.

- Haruki Murakami

#haruki murakami #men without women #wideeyedreads