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crypticsewerslut · 8 months
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LITERALLY I WANNA BOY LIKE HIM
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the raging gender envy this man fucking gives me. like stop
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crypticsewerslut · 8 months
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just saw someone describing aquarius placements as super openminded with super strong opinions and I FULLY agree!!!
aquarius is FIXED air yall remember that🤣
they can fully get your perspective yet not having to agree with you HAHAHAH
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crypticsewerslut · 8 months
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throw me against a wall. respectfully.
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crypticsewerslut · 8 months
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one night only—sonder.
fem!reader x jack thurlow :P 18+
smut (obvi) , jack being a little cheater :[ away on vaca from his wife when he finds u at a club and talks his way into your panties. some spanking, hickeys, kissing, blowjob, cunnilingus, p in v unprotected, sort of drunk sex, semi public (he touched you on the dance floor, in a club bathroom) name calling (good girl, pretty girl, baby, sugar) jacks a bit toxic, (degrading his wife :[) little to no aftercare.
a/n: I had fun with this one! black reader is in mind but as always anyone can read :3 minors dni, enjoy! comment if you wanna be on a tag list and requests are open! also he looks so cute in this gif :)
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You sat at the bar of a booming club, a half empty sweet drink in your hand as you swung your crossed legs. You were just about to leave, the music killing your ears and the painfully sweet drink doing quite the opposite of what your friends hoped when they dragged out.
You felt eyes on you though, and not just the bartender who noticed your bored face. They were piercing your backside, making you a bit uncomfortable.
You reached into your purse, ready to pay and dip when a man sat next to you abruptly, making you jump. “Hey.” He spoke with a sigh, leaning on the counter.
“..Hi.” You scanned him quickly, your guard up as you clutched your purse. “Sex on the beach?” He said, referring to the drink you had finished. “That’s so painfully sweet I can feel my teeth rotting.” He snarled his lips, making you crack a little laugh.
“Yeah, uhh it was recommended to me by a friend but it’s..ok? I guess,” you shrugged, twirling the chain of your purse. “Lemme get you a real drink,” he waved down the bartender, ordering something you weren’t familiar with. That was smooth, you thought, smirking amusingly to yourself.
You scanned him more carefully now, he had shoulder length hair that curled at the ends, a baby blue button down that rolled up to his elbows, black jeans and some sneakers. He paired his shirt with thousands of hair ties and colorful silly bands wrapped around his wrists, making you giggle a little.
He had a beautiful hooked nose and plump pink lips that spread nicely across his teeth when he cracked a joke with the bartender. He turned back to you, and that’s what the piercing feeling was. Those sharp, intense blue eyes he held.
You realized he was waiting for you to respond, “I’m sorry, what'd you say?” He chuckled a little, “I said what’s your name,” he looked at you over his glass, sliding yours over to you. You took a drink, the strong taste burning your throat.
He wasn’t kidding about getting you a real drink. You coughed out your name, holding your chest as he laughed at you. “Too much?” He tilted his head slightly.
“Just a little,” you smiled through your cough you managed to choke down. “What’s yours?”
“Jack, nothin’ too special, yeah-I clearly wasn’t the favorite child.” He shrugged, making you giggle. “Jack isn’t that bad of a name, it’s simple.” You shrug, bouncing your leg attentively as you listen to him.
“And simple is boring, s’not as nearly as unique as yours,” he shook his head as he threw his drink back, seemingly swallowing it with ease.
You were still working on yours, circling the rim with your nail. “Well duh, everyone can’t be uniquely named, the world needs boring people like you to balance it out,” you joked, smiling over your glass as you watched him scoff.
“like me??” He laughed, “Hey you said it I’m just agreeing with ya’,” you put your hands up in defense, looking to the side as he laughed at you, making you join him.
“Okay, since you’re so unique, what'd you do for a living?” He said, bobbing his head snarkily, making you roll your eyes.
Your sarcasm paired up perfectly with each other’s, each monotone joke bounced off the last. And he was so smooth, you were kind of in awe that he got you talking so much, if someone would’ve told you you would’ve been here just ten minutes before you’d probably scoff and nod it off.
You found yourself growing closer to him, your knees sat pretty between his legs that were spread wide on the side of you, and with the way you were leaning in close to talk to him because of the music blaring he had the perfect view of your perched up tits in that pretty, pearl white mini dress you wore that accentuate your curves oh so well.
You only caught him staring sometimes.
Okay, a lot.
You smiled at him as he told a story about one of his friends, a little tipsy but still trying to pay attention, though all you could look at were his arms, his shirt hugged his muscles perfectly, the top buttons open a bit, allowing you to see some of his collarbone, making you internally bite your lip.
“Moral of the story, don’t let the stocky, already scary looking lesbian trip set your first time smoking,” he shook his hands and you shared a laugh.
“Can I buy you a drink this..time?” You asked, clearing your throat when you realized how sloppy you sounded, some of your words slurring.
He chuckled at you, “Yeah, don’t give me any bullshit though, nothing too sweet,” he said as you waved down the bartender, and you felt his hand trail up from where it previously sat on your knee to your thigh, his thumb pressing into your skin as he cupped your soft flesh, starting to rub inward.
“Try this, it’s not too bad in my opinion,” you watched him take a sip, his brow raising as he looked up in thought.
“Okay, that’s not too terrible, ‘can still feel my molars cracking, though.” He nodded, making you roll your eyes and chuckle a little.
Your brows furrowed as you watched him sit his cup down, a ring? He’s married???
You grabbed his hand by his ring finger, raising it up. “Oh?”
“Oh,” his face flushed a bit, “Yeah.” Was all he said. “You’re married? At a club—at,” you got your phone out with your free hand to check the time, “One am??”
“Lemme explain,” he put his hands out in defense. “I swear she knows I’m here.”
“She does,” you nodded, furrowing your brows again as you looked to the side, taking a drink. What a shame, you thought. I really liked him too.
“I promise she does, we-okay, man I really didn’t wanna get into this part of my life here,” He cracked a laugh, but you didn’t follow.
“We’ve been having some..problems. Long story short, I lost both parents, and we lost our baby.”
“..Oh.” Yeah, uh—don’t say you’re sorry, I get it literally every day, and it’s almost been a year.”
You nodded, just not saying anything. “And we’ve been arguing day to day, and always going to bed angry, and work has been hell for both of us, so she suggested we go on separate trips with some friends to clear our heads and maybe get the weights off our shoulders.”
Nodding, you take another drink, hoping it’d help you get past this. “Okay, I get that.”
“kay, good. Can we keep this going? Is it weird now? I should’ve worn the ‘I love my wife’ shirt she brought me,” he shook his head as he brought his glass up to his mouth, making you giggle.
“Yeah, we can. How long ‘you been married?”
You listened to him talk about his seemingly loveless marriage, though only had been together a little over four years, and now it made sense why he was here, talking to you. He wanted an escape. A different woman, just for the night. you could give that to him.
“This is my first night here in this town, I’d say it’s going pretty well,” He smiled, his eyes bouncing from your lips, to your breast and lower.
You smiled back before downing the rest of your drink, “Wanna dance?” You took his hand and stood him up before he could answer.
“Uhh,” he stammered, quickly downing his own before following, “I don’t know how to dance.”
“Well I do, you’ll be fine. Just follow me.” “Seriously, I really don’t. Like it’s bad, I’m so bad.”
You laughed at him, stopping near the back of the club where a dip is easily found but with people still around you.
“You a quick learner?” You put his hands on your hips as you pressed your back to his chest. “Somewhat,” he swallowed hard, his fingers pressing into your skin.
“good, just follow me, ok? follow my moves,” you looked back and up at him, him nodding at you in confirmation. neither of you recognized what song was playing, but that didn’t matter to you as you swayed along to the sensual singing, grinding against him with each snare of the beat.
he moved his hips with you, stepping side to side, making you giggle. “jack, you’re moving like a grandpa. loosen up,” you laughed, and he laughed with you, “I told you I don’t know how,” he trailed his right hand up your hip, cupping your boob as his left held a tight grip on his waist, rubbing inward to hold your stomach.
you held his hand softly as you bit your lip, keeping your body close to his, not that you really had a choice. he was so pressed against you you’d thought your body’s would fuse, the feel of his hard on against your ass as he finally swayed smoothly with you made you let out a shuddery breath.
“that’s it,” you praised him, to which he only hummed as you moved your head out the way when you felt his lip glide against your ear to your jaw to your neck, planting soft kisses to your skin, sending heat straight to your core.
you held his head as he worked on your neck, feeling his hand inch under your tiny dress, the side of his index grazing your clit, making you gasp lightly.
he hummed into your neck as he continued prodding at your clit with his thumb, the side of his index rubbing you between your folds. you moaned quietly, gripping his wrists slightly as you grinded back against him, simultaneously moving against his bulge.
“jack,” you gasped, feeling just how hard he was against you. “bathroom?” he breathed into your ear, and you nodded frantically, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the nearest bathroom you knew, not bothering to fix your dress that was pulled up slightly because of him.
you knocked quickly, opening the door once you didn’t receive anything back. you flicked on the light, throwing down your purse before he pushed you against the door, shutting it with your back and smashing you in a kiss, his hands holding your face as you found his shirt, balling the fabric in your fists as your kiss deepened.
you tried not to think about the cold metal of his ring on your cheek as you kissed him, trying to not let the guilt get to you. and luckily, you were drunk enough to let it slip your mind quickly, your focus being on how he lifted you onto his thigh, his knee against the door as he moved you against his thigh by the tight grasp of his hands.
you gasped, moaning into his mouth at the pleasure shooting through you, gripping his biceps as your pussy throbbed against his jeans, feeling yourself dampen, listening to his heavy breathing between the kiss and your moaning.
your hands found the buttons of his shirt, undoing them as quick as you could with your acrylic nails clacking against each other. you flung it open as you got the rest undone, kissing from his collarbones and down his toned chest sloppily, nails grazing his skin as you slid down his thigh onto on his shoe, right against your cunt.
“please baby,” he whimpered, his hand finding his way into your hair, cradling the back of your head as you eagerly unbuttoned his pants, freeing his erection, almost hitting you in the face.
he was surprisingly pretty down there, was nicely trimmed but not overly bushy or too clean shaven, he had about a good 6.5, maybe even seven inches on him with great girth, that curved to the right slightly, veins going up to his mushroom tip red and oozing pre cum impatiently, waiting on you.
you were honestly salivating, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol or your incurable oral fixation. you spat in your hand, stroking him quickly while you peered up at him with wide, blown out eyes, already seeing his head thrown back as he let out a groan, his thumb caressing your head and tightening his grip.
your tongue circled his tip, sucking it slowly before inching more of his length into your mouth until you got to the base, careful not to gag. he let out a guttural groan, his stomach dropping at the feel of your wet, warm tongue around his throbbing cock.
he put a hand against the tile wall to hold himself up as he watched you take him, a grunt coming from him each time you gagged around him. “you’re doing so good sugar, holy fuck,” he moans, brows knit together and mouth ajar as he looked into your eyes, moving the hair off your tear stained cheeks.
he groaned again, watching his cock disappear into your mouth, loving how your lips looked wrapped around him like this. you sucked around the tip quickly, hollowing out your mouth as spit dripped onto his cock and your thighs, stroking the rest of his length that you weren’t focused on.
that sent him over, he was spewing groans and curses out of his mouth like they were scriptures, eyes squeezing shut and head throw back, chest heaving.
“that’s it baby, fuck you’re so good, so fucking good,” he whispered, moving his hair out of his own face. he took yours into a makeshift ponytail with his fist, “hold still, ok?” was the only warning he gave you, and before you could register what he could’ve meant he thrusted his cock into your mouth, all the way to the back of your throat, making you gag.
he pushed your head onto his dick as he fucked your throat to match his thrusts, and you couldn’t control your gagging as your eyes rolled back, gripping onto his thighs for support.
“Yeah just like that baby, good girl,” he groaned, fucking into your mouth faster. you whimpered, your jaw starting to hurt but you felt his thrusts falter in consistency, so you knew he was close.
he swallowed hard above you, letting out low mm mm mm’s and grunting with each thrust, hearing you gag and moan, the vibrations making him twitch in your throat.
he sped up, shoving your head down even tougher now with each thrust, “look at you,’ takin’ it so fuckin’ well,” he praised, other hand holding your cheek affectionately.
“oooh fuck i’m gonna cum, fuck baby i’m gonna cum,” he whimpered, his lip tucked between his teeth, brows knit together before he held your head down on him, nose tickling his pubes as hot spurts of cum shot into your throat, a relieved sigh and heavy breaths coming from Jack.
he pulled off slowly so he wouldn’t waste a drop, holding his tip to your lips as the last little spurts of cum shot onto them. “you gonna spit?” he asked you, putting himself away.
you licked your lips and swallowed, holding onto his jeans as you stuck your tongue out, “Swallowed? good girl, good fuckin’ girl,” he mumbled something about his wife, along the lines of “never swallows” but you were too fucked out to care.
he held your chin as he stood you up and kissed you, hands between your thighs again, rubbing your clit in circles. he pulled away from your lip and got onto his knees, pulling your dress up and sliding your underwear down as he peppered kisses up your thighs, backing you up against the wall again.
he kissed your folds as if to make out with your actual lips, his nose bumping against your clit, making you whimper, brows knit and eyes squeezed, hands laced between his locks, nails gliding over his scalp.
“needa taste, have ta’ have you,” he rasped, his breath hot over your slit. Jacks finger spreading in a V over your throbbing cunt, pressing so he spread you, clit puffy and presented to him.
Flattening his tongue, jacks eyes lifted to yours, licking a long stripe from your glistening hole to your clit, his eyes filled with lust as they eyed you and you only, already starting to fog over and he barely got a taste yet.
he pushed his tongue in you with eagerness, groaning at the taste, the vibrations making you clench down on him, your back arching upwards as you grind against him.
you fisted his hair as you held his held down, bobbing his tongue into you as you rode his face, his eyes rolling back and lashes fluttering at your needy, desperate actions.
you moaned mantras of his name as he dug you out, moaning out when he inserted both fingers into you at once, pulling his hair back at the pleasure. You were reactive, squirming with pleasure, a new rush of adrenaline and ecstasy flooding through your system, his tongue reaching a new area that had your head spinning.
he loved it, every second of it. he loved how you moaned squeakily when your clit hits his nose at the right angle. he loved how you pulled his hair when he hit a sensitive spot, it made him leak all onto the floor.
he grabbed you by the thighs, turning you around so your face and fingers were pressed against the tile wall and your legs spread for him, pussy and ass on display.
he grabbed at the flesh, keeping you down on his as he fingered you at an unforgiving pace while his tongue stimulated your clit, your slick trailing down his arm.
he spread his thick fingers inside you, scissoring you at a brutal pace, and you swear you saw stars, legs shaking as you moaned his name loudly, drooling on the tile as your mouth formed an “o” shape.
“oh jack, awe fuck jack i’m gonna cum, m’gonna cum!” you sobbed, gasping at hiccuping as he sped up his fingers, eyes rolling back into your head.
“oh m’god, my god my god my god fuck, jack!” you came on his fingers, legs shaking endlessly and drawn out moans exiting you, trying to come down softly but he just kept circling your clit with his tongue, overstimming you :(
he pulled out his fingers, moaning as he sucked your cum off of them, lashes fluttering. he stood, rubbing his hard dick as his other hand rubbed your ass, catching his breath.
you babbled nonsense, your head spinning as you came down from your high. “so good, so good so good so good,” you whispered, chest heaving.
jack rubbed his tip against your soaking, pulsing hole, a hand wrapped under your stomach, his lips parted slightly, head filled with the thought of filling your aching pussy. somewhere in the midst of that “so good,” he whispered, “slidin’ in,” in your ear, proceeding to slide his cock in you in one swift, slow motion, making you choke and moan out loudly, way louder than what he let out.
your walls hugged him perfectly as he bottomed out, never feeling as full as you did now. “jack,—gasp—jack! awe!” you moan, squeezing your eyes shut as your brows furrowed to the sky, feeling as if you were fusing with the tile.
he rested his cheek against your head, panting into your hair as his arm planked on the wall, other arm wrapped around your torso, pushing deeper into you, emitting a low groan. “oh yes baby, ohhh yes, so tight” he moans, his hair falling into the peripheral vision of your barely open eyes.
your moans fought each other as he thrusted into your slowly, gripping your body as you clenched around him involuntarily. “you’re so wet baby, fuckin’ look at that,” his eyes were glued on your pussy lips and he he disappeared into you, sucking him greedily as he shoved your body back.
“such a good, hungry pussy for me.” he groaned, speeding up, fucking you deeper, your moans drawing out with each drag of his cock. you felt him all over your skin, the pleasure consuming you as he fucked you dumb, and he only just started.
“my god jack, my god you’re so good, so fucking good,” you damn near whined, tears swelling as your stomach heaved.
“I know baby I know,” he whispered, kissing your head tenderly, and he swore it made you wetter. “wish I could take you home with me, can’t’ get enough of these pretty fuckin’ moans sugar.” he slapped the side of your ass, making your hiccup.
“you think she’d mind? arriving with this pretty thing on my hip?” he sped up, and you didn’t even think it was possible for him to get deeper, feeling him in your fingertips and heels, your toes curling.
“shit baby, think she’d watch, huh? watch me f-fuck the life outta you as if you were the one i married?” he chuckled breathily, and you felt him graze that spongy, sensitive spot, making you gasp and your back arch, not even giving you time to register the shit that spews out of his mouth.
“oh jack right there, please right there baby right there,” you begged, clenching around him. he sat up, gripping l the fat of your tailbone to pull you back onto him even closer, arching your back more. “here baby? right here?” he panted, sending love taps to your newfound sweet spot.
each little thrust against it sent you moaning whiney, nose scrunched, eyes shut, and mouth agape, forming a “O” shape. “there it is,” he groaned, suddenly slamming into that spot repeatedly and mercilessly, his free right hand intertwining with yours that was pressed against the tile, locking fingers, his cheek hot against your hair.
“oh jack, oh jack don’t stop, don’t fucking stop! oh my god!” you cried out, letting out loud ‘awe awe awe’s as he abused your pussy.
you felt your stomach tie up as he didn’t let up his pace, ramming himself into you with raspy panting and low babbling, not even forming coherent sentences. “gonna ruin me baby,” you heard from him, “takin’ me so fuckin good, so fuckin good,” he’d pant.
you screamed out, gripping his interlocked fingers in yours as your dam broke, “oh jack! m’gonna cum, m’gonna cum! awe, oh!!” you hiccuped and cried.
“breath baby breath, you got it,” he cooed, reaching down and playing with your clit. and just like that, your damn broke. you came with a gasp and a raise of your brows, moaning loudly, almost boardering pornographic.
“oh fuck baby, fuck baby you’re squirting,” he sounded elated, putting pressure on your clit as he drew wide circles around it, pulling more moans and fluids out of you, staining his boxers and thighs.
“ooh baby, ooh baby it’s too much, too much you’re too good,” you whined, holding his hand tighter. you were out of it, eyes glossy and big as you looked back at him, tears still welled in your eyes as they rain down your cheeks too.
you watched his lashes flutter, god did he look gorgeous. his hair stuck adorably to his forehead as he watched you suck him in, cheeks flushed pink and lips newly glossy with spit.
“cmon baby, I know you can take more. look at you, so fuckin’ greedy f’me,” he groaned, his head rolling over as he watched your pussy drool around him, throbbing inside. he groaned, the sound of your juices squelching sending him through the roofs. “never had pussy like this before, gotta savor it, alla’ it.”
“oh my god baby, gonna fucking cum, mmm i’m gonna fuckin’ cum, oh fuck,” he croaks, his hand moving to grip your hips, pushing into you and shoving you more into the tile as he rammed into your recklessly, chasing his release.
his orgasm hit him like a train as he came inside of you, groaning and panting heavily, eyes shutting as you both tried to catch your breath. he wraps his arms around you and lays his head on yours, you whining softly as he mumbled praises to you, kissing your head with, “so good, did so fuckin good for me,” sprinkling some pretty girl’s in there before he pulled out, careful not to hurt you.
he sat you on the toilet as he cleaned you up with a wet paper towel, making you and himself look presentable again, fixing his shirt and putting you back in your underwear, bringing your dress back to it’s original length.
“thank you,” you mumble, thinking he was just gonna slip off after cumming. “f’course. you were so good, I wish I could take you home,” he sighs, kissing you softly, his thumb rubbing your cheek.
“how long are you gonna be down here?” you ask between kisses, and thankfully he had a few days left.
he slips his number into your purse as you follow him to the mirror, him wiping your cheeks as you fixed your hair, surprised it still looked good, although you couldn’t say the same for your makeup.
he said nothing but kissed your forehead before he left, and you followed soon after, finding your friends to tell them about your little hookup.
a/n: ahh that was so long i’m sorry! I had a lot of fun with this if you couldn’t tell, it’s been sitting in my drafts for a while :) I hope you enjoyed!
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crypticsewerslut · 8 months
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im going to fucking attack him
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crypticsewerslut · 8 months
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YES YES YES
smth abt the way charlie whispered "shh... i know, i know..." after stabbing kirby had me going insane
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and the way he pulled her into him!! 😫 ugh im literally cumming screaming.
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crypticsewerslut · 8 months
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You dont get it this man has me in a detrimental place. Literally sob everytime i see him. Like my ovaries are BEGGING, THEY ARE PLEADING SIR.
I also saw a video of him with this toddler and his voice and the way he hugged her and- sob. He makes me SICK yall. 😖😣
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crypticsewerslut · 8 months
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Tyler
(The expecting)
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How is there no content about him if he is one of Rory's hottest characters (my opinion)
I'm going to die if I don't see a paragraph about his content, I'm literally begging 😭
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crypticsewerslut · 8 months
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Makes my eye twitch fr
If I see one fem reader x Rory Culkins character in Materna I might kms
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crypticsewerslut · 9 months
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I feel like a WHORE now
Awr RUFF EUFF RUFF AURF HE MAKES ME WANT TO DO AND SAY UNHOLY THINGS
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crypticsewerslut · 9 months
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Just yes. Immediately yes😖
wanna slowly make out w mr jack thurlow 🫶🫶 like you've seen that man's lips come on now. whether it be for comfort or just proximity LIKE I WANNA KISS HIM SO BAADDDD
My dearest anon, thank you for this ask! 🖤🙏🏻🫶🏻 This is going to be severely self-indulgent since I had a rather rough time for the past two weeks in particular and I really just want Jack to comfort me 😩🥲
CW: Personal, Angsty AF, Cringy Self-Instert Moment Here, Crying
Tagging:
@cc-luvr @angelsanarchy @spookyorchid @icarus-star
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Give me love like never before
'Cause lately I've been craving more
And it's been a while but I still feel the same
- Give Me Love By Ed Sheeran
💙 After you finally closed your laptop, you stood up from the desk with an angry, hot wave of tears threatening to spill from your eyes. It was done, it was over for good. You logged yourself out of your university web mail browser for the last time, knowing that you'd never see the white and green font ever again. It felt good and yet it had you questioning everything. Six years of painful studies, six years of striving to let nobody down, especially not your parents, boiled down to logging out of a web mail browser.
💙 "Hey, love, are you okay?" You hadn't even slipped yourself under the warm, comforting covers.
"I don't know..." It left your trembling lips before the first droplets started running down your cheeks, "I can't believe I did it.."
"Come here, I'm so proud of you, love." Jack reached his arms out for them to gently hold you by the waist.
💙 Sobbing to yourself as quietly as possible, you followed the pull of his hands, hurrying yourself into bed, pressing your thoroughly exhausted body impossibly close to his.
"Are you, tho?" You allowed yourself to mumble into his chest, your tears starting to soak his shirt.
💙 "Yes, I am." Jack stated without any hesitation, cradling you in his arms, his hands stroking across your hair and back.
"You did the thing that felt so incredibly impossible. You did it, babe, YOU. DID. IT." He hummed before pressing a kiss to your hairline.
"I'm so proud of you. Now you can start to be happy again. I know you tried so hard, been with you all along the way, but it's okay if you don't want to spend your time behind books anymore."
A white-hot wave of fresh tears cascaded from your lower lashline, the amalgamation of wet pooling around your chin.
💙 "I got you, it's okay." Jack's lips wandered down, leaving a caressing trail of soft pecks from the bridge of your nose down to your lips.
"It'll be okay. We'll work it out." He hummed, not resisting as you lapped onto his bottom lip, your teeth softly biting down, searching for comfort.
Instead, he leaned into your pull, his plush lips pressing against yours whilst his taste oozed into your mouth.
💙 "Need you to tell me again that it'll be okay..." You sniffled, trying to muzzle the misery in your tone.
Jack tightened his embrace around you.
"Be proud of yourself. I promise you that it'll be okay." He reciprocated your kiss with plenty of his, his lips pressing against yours over and over.
"Now come here." Jack directed your head against his chest, "Tomorrow will be good for you, maybe even great..."
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crypticsewerslut · 9 months
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Last song: Slut him out pt 2 by Baby Tate💀
Currently watching: havent paid my netflix bill😭 but i did just rewatch Hick and On the Edge, both are so good highly recommend!!
Currently reading: EVERY RORY CULKIN FIC ON THE MARKET nd Che Guevera cause im a comrade poli sci slay 🫢
Latest obsession: my wife.
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nine people you want to know better
thank you for the tag @narcobarbies
last song: bad idea right? - olivia rodrigo
currently watching: just finished watching a episode of e.r, i don’t know how i’m on season 11 already?! 😂
currently reading: nothing at the moment, i want to start to reading some books but i don’t know where to start 😂
latest obsessions: still lewis! i don’t think he’s ever gonna leave 😂. also courtney, madelyn, rory and wolf alice are still going strong!
i don’t think my answers has changed since i did this last 😂
if you recently done this, ignore me 😂✌🏻
no pressure tag: @cuntyculkin, @angelsanarchy, @roosterbruiser, @thatsthewrongwallcraig, @wkndwlff, @worldofyasmin, @vanmccannsfridge, @bradshawsbitch and @sebsxphia
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crypticsewerslut · 9 months
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When I day drink and rant incoherently on tumblr and have to giggle off my cry for help that is mixed in with me thirsting over a married man in his 30s😭😭
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crypticsewerslut · 9 months
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My man
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he's so fineee
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crypticsewerslut · 9 months
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Screaming
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can we all just take a moment to really appreciate rory culkin's hands 🧎‍♀️
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crypticsewerslut · 9 months
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Real
somethin bout these lil cat paintings reminds me of Rory
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idk idk!!
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crypticsewerslut · 9 months
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And also the way Barbie and Ken are role playing heterosexuality without any inherent sexuality of their own, without any understanding of what it means, or even any genitals at all! Just pretty-girl + handsome-guy = obviously a couple. And the way it fucks them both up! Because they’re both stereotypes, neither of them is a specialist version, no brain surgery or pilots license or Nobel prize for either of them. They’re just assigned the roles of Every Man and Every Woman. And Ken ends up doing Way Too Much because he’s hanging his entire self-worth on being important to Barbie. And Barbie just isn’t interested in him, she was assigned a boyfriend she didn’t ask for and doesn’t want and doesn’t know what to do with, just because that’s what society expects of men and women, that they will necessarily couple up and fall in love because… that’s what they do. Regardless of any personal quality of either party.
It’s about heteronormativity and amatonormativity and the unrealistic expectations society sets boys and girls up for from infancy. Barbie and Ken are every pair of toddlers sharing a sandbox while the adults around them call them each other’s little “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” even though neither party understands or is capable of understanding the implied meaning of that. Or wants to.
It’s a literal funhouse mirror of that weird pressure put on kids to perform heterosexuality from an early age. It examines how that leaves us unprepared for the complicated reality of actual relationships even if it turns out that you are heterosexual and do want sex and romance. Boys and girls aren’t really allowed to be just kids on the same team, so they grow up into men and women who generally want very different things from each other and are trained to look for it in everybody because anybody is better than nobody, and try to force it to work.
Barbie and Ken letting each other go in the end was perfect. Barbie the Every Woman realizing that she doesn’t have to be special, she just has to be, and Ken the Every Man realizing he has to seek validation elsewhere and lean on his fellow Kens for emotional support, WHICH THEY GIVE.
Truly a movie of all time.
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