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✩CASSY [💭🏝️/🍪📱/🎒🌉/🍉] ✩
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“Why would the universe go through all that trouble to bring us together, to only make us strangers again in the end?”
— Unknown
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“The best nights are the ones you never plan.”
— Unknown
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Some people never will gasp the fact that it’s partly them and the way they live, treat others, along with their character…not the character they try to portray to the 🌎.
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I am a lot of things. However, I am not a damsel in distress or a coward that avoids danger. Years of hidden trauma has developed the most ingrained instincts within my soul. Even the presence of the littlest bit of hysteria, my body is alarmed and ready to fight not flee. If you are not willing to indulge temptations within the darkness of the devil, confront a romantic charming siren, or challenge an slightly different woman, while satiating your innermost cravings of hidden vices; resist the need for me.
I will push your boundaries, test your patience, but please know my motives will always be pure and my love for you will never fade. I will help you discover parts of yourself, your authentic soul, you yearned for ~ never knew, but always inherently wanted.
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I can’t say it’s been easy since we fell apart.
In fact, it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced-
The pain, the sorrow, the emotions that ebb and flow, sometimes threatening to overwhelm me as I just try to keep it together.
I try to stop my mind from thinking about you, but my heart won’t let me.
I know that I will always love you, but some things just don’t work out the way you hope and dream for.
Deep down, my heart believes that we will find our way back together, but for now, I can’t think about that.
I have to focus on me and healing the parts of me that are bleeding the rawest emotions that I’ve ever known.
To hurt like this is to feel a pain that is so much more than just physical, soulful or emotional..
It’s everything at once..and it’s almost suffocating- and I’m fighting to breathe.
So, I’m digging deep, attempting to rouse my spirit and trying to be strong.
I don’t know if I can be, but I don’t have any other choices.
I want to fly again, to escape this place I’ve fallen into- and I know I can..but it will take some time.
You think you’re strong until something happens that tries to break you..and then you learn a lot about yourself..
I know I have.
I’m broken, shattered and crushed all at once.
I know I played a part in how things went, but it doesn’t mean it hurts less.
When your future comes crashing down in an instant, you feel as though your heart is being emptied, moment by moment.
But this broken heart will be my fuel to rise again, to come back better and become stronger.
It’ll take me some patience and growth, but I’ll get there-I have to.
One day, we will meet again and I’ll finally be flying again-maybe things will be different then.
I know things work out the way they are meant to, and that’s my only solace now.
Day by day, breath by breath, I’ll find my way.
Stronger, wiser and braver.
This broken heart made me a warrior,
And soon enough, I’ll be unstoppable.
For me and my life, there’s no other choice.
The only true North either of us will ever know.
October 15, 2020 1303
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