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so i sent this email/“essay” to cards against humanity and uh

i didn’t expect to get this far

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That cloaked figure that’s been following your party? Animated cloak, the wizard forgot it at home and it got lonely.

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Let Ace fuck!

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two types of people playing dnd

‘I looked up canon traditional naming conventions and hairstyles in my character’s culture, and have a built in backstory for them that is probably more well written than the actual campaign’

*texting the dm under the table because they lost their character sheet* what alignment am i again?

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People who prefer hot weather: Snow and ice are a pain, and the cold is just kind of uncomfortable even when you wrap up, you know?

People who prefer cold weather: MY SKIN LITERALLY MELTS OFF EVERY SUMMER I AM A FUCKING HUMAN SOUP AS WE SPEAK

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Hot take: the modern LGBT community relishing in all the stereotypes we’ve been trying to avoid for decades is both extremely cringy and will probably be our downfall.

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Horses just be standing around in fields naked eating some of that sweet sweet grass

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Short Rib Ragù

Keep reading

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the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

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any spanish speaker: cojer

méxico and argentina:

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FUCK YES 

this is so sad alexa play a real banger

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Thanos: I had to kill my daughter… It was the only way to fulfill my plans… I’m so torn and upset about this.

Spider-Man: this is so sad karen play despacito

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“Money can’t buy you happiness” is propaganda from rich people to convince the poor to be satisfied with less.

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The roundest countries.