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@wilderness-lair-shatterdome and me brainstormed sum ideas a while back and now they’re canon to the story

imagining bill coming back to danville and being like "HONEY I'M HOME! HOW WAS YOUR DAY AT SCHOOL, SPORT?" would be both funny and sad because imagine having to explain to your kids that a triangle demon annihilated their father's soul because you didn't read the dotted line on your demonic contract

Ok but Lawrence being the one to drive Bill out and defend his family. Bc he’s still Phineas’ and Candace’s father, even if theres no blood relation

"HEY NOW, OLD BEAN. DON'T WANNA GET YOUR CRUMPETS IN A KNOT. OH, WHO'S THIS?" *ferb waves burning incense in his direction*

“Whoa, this kid has an even weirder shaped head! And eyes that change shape? That’s a heck of a combination there, socket wrench!” “You shut the hell up about my son you isosceles monster”

bill nonchalantly mention's linda's husband and candace flips out, beating the shit outta him with a broom. bill (and the family) is saved only by bill being zapped with an inator seconds before it explodes, to which he laments he didn't get to cause himself. and then linda decides to tell phineas about his father.

“That triangle guy was my dad?” [looks at lawrence] “…nah, thats my dad.”

"No, I mean, uh, Candace's dad. Then again, he's sort of... You know what. I'm gonna make some snacks and we can all have a family discussion about this. Oh, there you are, Perry."

Ferb’s one line is “well he did seem rather obtuse”

And so beings Linda teeling everyone about demonic deals, and her husband's tragic addient and phineas being shaped like a triangle. "And what about ferb's mom?" "Oh, we disagreed on football teams, that's all"

“She was a devout Arsenal fan, I was a young and faithful Evertonian… it could never have worked”

#BRINGIN IT AROUND TOWN

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had to do it

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tfw ur demon nacho dad is trying to kill ur bf and best lad so ya gotta act all emotionless and distant

#sunny draws #triangle man

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wink 

#sunny draws

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Phineas Flynn had never been anything short of extraordinary.

Every memory with Phineas was full of colour, and enthusiasm, and joy that was so other that it was all Dipper could do not to beg for his hand twined with his own. And now, sitting on a sturdy branch of a tree in California, it was just the two of them and the cold onset of evening. A few inches to his right was a freckled hand, the underside of it hardened and roughened by years of manual labor. Dipper really wanted to hold that hand.

He was struggling to think of conversation when he heard a soft “Dipper…” He could feel his palms break out in a sweat and he surreptitiously began to move them towards the cool dryness of his shorts. The boy of his dreams was initiating conversation!

“Y-yeah, Phineas?” His armpits feel sharp and hot.

“There’s something I really need to tell you. Should have told you earlier, but I was scared...” Oh my god. He could feel the sweat patches on his shirt blossom. His hands were on his shorts now, dampening the cotton.

“Sure thing, man.” His voice broke. Why the hell was his voice breaking? Keep it together, freak.

“Well…ugh, this is hard. I just don’t want to lie anymore. I really care about you, and you deserve to know the truth.” OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

Before Dipper’s pubescent squeakiness could embarrass him any further, Phineas cut him off with a quick whisper. “I’m kinda related to Bill.”

Dipper stopped wiping his hands and stared. This had to be some kind of sick joke. This was…wrong.

“It’s not what you think it is! He’s not my family or anything, but genetically…it’s really complex.” Dipper squeaked, a sound of horror that he didn’t bother hiding.

“It happened while my mom was pregnant. She did some deal, way back when, and Bill came back. To get her to fulfill it. Well, she couldn’t, so he just. Blasted my dad.” Dipper’s hands were shaking now. He couldn’t catch his breath. His friend, the boy he’d waited for, was just another enemy in what felt like a lifetime of them.

“And it wasn’t her fault! And it wasn’t my dad’s fault either. It just happened. Just one of those things. Gotta move on, y’know”. Phineas sniffled. Was he crying? Dipper felt himself shifting closer to him, his mind screaming. What are you doing? This is the enemy! You should have his throat in your hands!

“But anyway, that happened all in front of my mom, and I guess me, since I was with her. Not born yet, but…I ended up getting some mild powers. Some residue energy or something I guess. Ferb explained it to me once. I guess I didn’t want to remember the details.” Dipper could feel his heartbeat returning to normal as he watched the boy he knew and loved, shoulders shaking and tears streaking his freckled cheeks.

“So there it is. I get it if you hate me, or you want to kill me or whatever. Sometimes I think it would be better if I was-“ Before his conscious mind could object, Dipper leaned over and his own chapped lips met soft ones. This felt right, some forces before they were born had decided that the bodies of two teenagers would perfectly slot together, no cracks or disconnects, just pure bliss and one mass of physical contact. It felt like years before Phineas gently took Dipper’s hand, and somehow that felt better than the kiss. That didn’t stop Dipper from carrying on kissing, though.

#this is gay i love it #fin writes #phipper #submission

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phipper is canon

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"RAY! I LIKE YOU. YOU'RE A NON-CONFORMIST. LIKE AN EYELASH IN A TROPICAL DRINK. A LOOSE NAIL IN A FLOORBOARD. A GAS LEAK IN A PIPE THAT BLOWS UP A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL. OH, WE'RE GONNA BE BEST PALS!"

#triangle man

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swampy eats bugs