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Reflections on 2017.

This time a year ago, I was a very different person. I don’t know if I’m a better now than I was? I’m certainly a lot happier than I was, despite all life’s tribulations.

I haven’t played enough music, or spent nearly enough time with my family or friends, and I am starting to wonder if I have missed out on too many important things because of work. I cherish the time I get to spend alone, which in the last few months hasn’t been a lot. But I also fear loneliness, boredom, and not having anything to look forward to.

I discovered the power of hygge, and how I don’t have enough of it in my life. I also learned that I want to live functionally as a minimalist, which is proving to be harder than I had first imagined, there are trinkets I’m not yet willing to part with.

I dated some people who turned out to be bad choices, I wronged some people who had my best interests at heart. But I met somebody unexpectedly, who is awakening in me the desire to enjoy things I have previously shunned. I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be miserable, I want to be loved, I am ready to thrive.

I set out some goals for 2017, and have achieved maybe half of them. I have lost a dear friend, and that has hurt me deeply. There are a LOT of children being born to people I care about, so where there is loss, there is new life; which as I am thrust towards my late 20′s, I have a newfound appreciation for. Not to say that I’m broody, I still very much would rather foster/adopt than have my own children... For I fear making the mistakes my ‘mother’ did with me. But the idea of spending time with other people’s children [in small doses] is somewhat appealing.

I don’t consider that I’m one for ‘new year, new me’ but I am in the market for attire that is more befitting my age and personality. I’m toying with the idea of more tattoos, I have almost turned vegan. I’m still a beardy, hipster-type weirdo, with a cornucopia of useless knowledge. So maybe I’m little more than a cliché or a stereotype?

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It’s not even just constantly sad anymore, my soul hurts.

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"Years of love have been forgotten, In the hatred of a minute" - Edgar Allan Poe.

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Sometimes, I think the only reason I don’t kill myself is because it would hurt other people, and some of them would blame themselves for not noticing that I needed help.

Honestly, I don’t see the point in living most of the time. I hate that I’m even putting this on here, but it’s the only social media platform I haven’t got many people that know me on. 

I tried explaining all of my frustrations and worries to a friend, they didn’t understand; and that just made me more annoyed. 

I hope that this passes.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6T4eLpWV48

NEW ALBUM COMING SOON

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i don’t think i will ever stop loving this

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I got a hold of this Sarcaster body. The plan is to swap out the pickups for something more authentic in construction. Pick up a good maple on maple neck and maybe put on a Les Trem for fun. I’ve been dreaming of a Starcaster for a very long time.

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Got myself some new ink. This is to the 5 guys that were there at my best and worst times. For taking me out with them, letting me jump in their van at a moments notice and for practically becoming part of my family! Cheers to @joelscreams_tattoo for the sick artwork! (at Black Heart Collective)

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After five years traveling through space to its destination, our Juno spacecraft will arrive in orbit around Jupiter today, July 4, 2016. This video shows a peek of what the spacecraft saw as it closed in on its destination before instruments were turned off. Watch our noon EDT Pre-Orbit Insertion Briefing on NASA Television for more: https://www.nasa.gov/nasatv or http://youtube.com/nasajpl/live. 

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#alnico5 #alnicofivecom #teletuesday #fenderguitar #fenderjunkie #guitar #telecastertuesday #telecaster #nocaster New ideas on traditional hardware

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We couldn’t fit all our other ones in the picture.

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Scala Diamonds & Rust “Chosen” T-Rod

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“He’s one day old. I still can’t believe that he’s real and that he came out of me.”