delete-my-past

[delete-my-past]

gonna go hiatus mode, gonna deal with work, migrane and COD, gardensecapes and wbb. watching news, plus heal myself in the process, nothing more.

[delete-my-past]

[delete-my-past]

in the last 17 years that ive started dating, been shut down for around 9 to 11 times already. i really dont keep count coz those are painful memories, mostly ghosted, some friendzoned. i dont know anymore.

[delete-my-past]

forever alone

[delete-my-past]

work work work

[delete-my-past]

why the fuck did i woke up again

[delete-my-past]

not hoping for anything anymore. better to be disappointed than not meet expectations

[delete-my-past]

if fate doesnt want me to have a future please take me away. i'm so tired. i feel so drained, i'm not happy anymore.

[delete-my-past]

if you really love her, set her free. I was not worthy.

[delete-my-past]

i want to take my life away badly, i want to end it all, i have no more purpose on earth, im still a coward holding the blade, i still pack the courage to slit my wrists. the rain will weep with me tonight. as thousands and millions of droplets fall from the heavens, they wash away the pain, the memories, the heartache. i sound stupid making this poem. forgive me.

[delete-my-past]

😢

[delete-my-past]

iiyak ko na lang muna, maybe it will help ease my headache

[delete-my-past]

wala na gana kumain and barely thinking straight. my head really is fucked up from the continuous migrane. hindi na ata tumatalab ang medicine. might as well sleep through the pain.

[delete-my-past]

forever and ever babe

Will you still love me in the morning?

[delete-my-past]

#Spotify

[delete-my-past]

d ko na sure if migrane pa ba ito, baka cancer na, maybe i'll just keep it to myself. not to mention no one will care anyway. my death wont affect the world. bring the pain so that i will forget i need love. maybe in the next life i'll find love, for now its too late. i am beyond sad and lonely. why do i bother postponing my death if all sa song ni alanis morissette:

"It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife"

https://open.spotify.com/track/29YBihzQOmat0U74k4ukdx?si=NpnmdvWvQ5CuGQ_57eEoLg

i didnt wished for this life, malas lang talaga ang may balat sa pwet 😂. i've become an empty shell. fate was cruel to me, kahit self love halos wala na din. being good is never a guaratee that you'll find the one, unti-unti na ako inubos sa loob. every broken heart (moments) i get, i get something in return, being cold and less loving. the 34 years is way too long, magtravel na lang kaya ako kahit may covid. atleast tuparin ko na lang muna ang dream ko kahit magjapan lang before i have a ventilator shoved down my throat. if ever may reset button to august 2010 sana meron. i'll make sure i bump my head sa slide. the world will go on even if youre dead.

[delete-my-past]

i wanna throw up so badly but i cant, my head hurts so much i want to die. if there is a fucking god, please take me. i dont deserve this life, i dont deserve to live.