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desert-fern · 2 minutes

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Have I ever told you guys how much I love all of you? Every single one.

I LOVE YOU ALL 🖤

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desert-fern · 2 minutes

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Story time: I’m a trans guy. I have an identical twin. We’re both tall, androgynous, and have naturally deep voices

In high school a rumor was spread that one of us was trans. For years, everyone in school had convinced themselves that my twin was “the trans one”. She rolled with it to keep me safe, and said it felt like a compliment to be mistaken for a trans woman since she looked up to a lot of trans women. That didn’t stop the bullying, but it’s easier to deal with when it’s directed at the wrong person. I’m engaged to a feminine cis guy who is several inches shorter than me. I have 20-30lbs on him and I can dead lift him. He’s more delicate and soft both physically and socially. He cries during sad movies, owns half a million stuffed animals, and clings to my arm when he’s nervous or it’s cold out (oh yeah, also he’s adorable) Whenever the topic of being trans comes up, cis people tend to think he’s the one who is trans. Direct all “what do your parents think?” comments onto him. Completely ignore me. Ask him invasive/transphobic questions about his body. Tell him “you pass so well!” through grit teeth. Like with my sister, I get pretty pissed about this, but there’s not much I can do about it. I have had to argue with cis people to establish the fact I’m trans because they don’t believe me & think I’m joking. they’re like “but he’s - no, she’s trans!” and frantically point fingers at my fiance and sister. Because there’s no way an adult cis woman could be taller than 5′9 and choose to be bare-faced, and an adult cis man could love How To Train Your Dragon 2 with a fiery passion, enough to watch it 3 times in the theatre. Terfs take one look at us and try to convince my sister she’ll never have a uterus or that she’s “appropriating women’s spaces”. Transphobes say my boyfriend will “always be a girl” and call him gendered slurs. They talk over them, block them, and grill them about what genitalia they have online. Completely unknowing that they’re talking to two cisgender people who are gay and gnc. @ young, closeted, scared trans people: any cis person who insists they can somehow “know” your “birth sex” by looking at you because “it’s so obvious!” is full of shit. people come in all shapes and sizes regardless of gender. Not only are they being transphobic, but they’re being homophobic too.

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desert-fern · 6 minutes

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now i'm curious

#depends on the book #but yes

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desert-fern · 7 minutes

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OKAY series of polls about sock preferences because i'm a curious autistic fuck:

(if you don't wear socks don't answer any of the other questions)

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desert-fern · 4 hours

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This board is beautiful! The dark colours are amazing and the story that goes with it? Sweet and heartbreaking in the best way possible, Beth! I know it’s not mine lol but it’s beautiful and you should be so proud of it!

💛Beth!! 💛 I love it when the mood board bug bites cause you make the BEST moodboards!!!

Could I kindly request “being stuck in an elevator” with Jake? You just KNOW the banter that would be coming outta his mouth 😬😂

~ Lucky 🍀

Thank you so much for requesting Lucky!

I'm obsessed with how this moodboard turned out, Glen looks gorgeous drenched in black and gold 🫠

Warning: Mentions of child abuse.

⬆️ You never did this.

You weren't the kind of person to arrive at the hotel room of a man you'd only just met and ask to be let in.

All because you had a feeling he wanted you to.

Warm coals were glowing deep in your chest that said you and Lt Jake Seresin could become a blistering, burning blaze, you only needed to light the spark. The small campfire you'd stoked in those hours together couldn't be left to flicker and die. It would be a crime to allow so much primed kindling to go to waste.

Wouldn't it?

So you knocked on the door.

-

Earlier that day

The elevator doors began to close behind you, but they were halted in their tracks by a gleaming black shoe.

The most devastatingly handsome man you had ever seen appeared from the opposite hotel room and darted through the doors before they shut.

Your whole body tensed and when he shot you a grateful half-apologetic smile your stomach swooped as if the elevator had already moved.

You would have been content to spend your day dreaming about his eyes and the lingering scent of his cologne until you fell in love with the next gorgeous stranger that crossed your path. But fate had other plans.

Barely 20 seconds into your journey from the 5th floor to the hotel foyer, there was a loud clang, creak, and shudder.

Then nothing.

A minute passed in heavy silence.

Still nothing.

The man swore to himself and started hammering at the elevator buttons, muttering under his breath. "This can't be happening."

His frustrated button pressing was no use.

"I think we might be stuck," you said calmly. "maybe we should try the help button?"

He looked distinctly rattled by your statement but stepped back and raked a hand through his golden hair whilst you made the call.

A voice on the other end promised an engineer would be along as soon as they could.

The knowledge that someone was coming settled your nerves, but it didn't have the same effect on your companion. He was breathing heavily and staring at the floor, swaying on his feet as if he might keel over.

"Would it be weird if I sat down?"

You wanted to distract him and thought that would be better than the standard 'Are you ok?'.

He blinked, surprised.

"Not weird at all. You go right ahead."

Oh God. His voice.

"It might be weird if I was the only one sitting though... with a strange man towering over me..."

But in different circumstances? What a vision that would be...

His lip quirked. "Well, in that case, I'd better join you. It would be rude not to."

So you both sat on the cold metal floor. You exchanged names, job titles, and reasons for staying at a swanky hotel.

Lt Jake Seresin. Naval aviator. He was home from a recent deployment and in town for a friend's 40th birthday party (which he would now undoubtedly be late for). You were attending a networking event for work (you might still make it if you skipped the early dinner you'd planned with your colleagues).

Once Jake's initial anxiety had dissipated, he was mesmerising. Charismatic, magnetic, utterly charming.

You felt completely at ease in his company. He asked you thoughtful follow-up questions, and you bounced off each other’s comments like you'd been playing conversation tennis for years. You felt confident enough to make jokes and be opinionated, even to flirt a little bit, and Jake volleyed back your serves with equal panache every time.

But after 45 minutes or so, harsh knocks on the elevator door put a pause to your match.

“Hello hello! Engineer calling. You guys all right in there?”

“Just peachy,” Jake replied sarcastically. “We're having a ball.”

“Glad you’re in good spirits,” the engineer said, far too chipperly.

“Looks like you're halfway between floors which means this might take a while. Another hour or so at least. Sorry.”

You heard footsteps walk away again. And then it was just the two of you once more, shrouded in silence and confined in an uncomfortably warm and stark metal box.

“Fuck. Fuck – I can’t do this - Another hour?”

In a matter of seconds, Jake had gone from calm to petrified. He was gasping for air, his chest heaving, and you could sense his heart was pounding so hard you wouldn’t have been surprised if you saw it bursting through the fabric of his sleek black shirt.

“Do - do you have any water?” he croaked.

You did. You scrambled around in your handbag for the half-drunk bottle you'd shoved in there earlier and pushed it into his shaking hand.

He grunted a thank you, then downed it desperately before forcing himself to take deeper, longer breaths.

But his efforts didn’t seem to be working.

And the longer they didn't work, the more desperate Jake became. His eyes grew wide with panic, and his fingers began desperately undoing buttons as if that would give his lungs more room to fill with air. He was at serious risk of passing out, of that you were certain, and all you could think to do was scramble to your knees and get in front of him so you could coax him to follow your breathing.

“Just follow me, ok? Slow as you can. In… And out… In… and out… Let’s do some box breaths, and use the shape of the door. In for the top, left to right. Now hold your breath as you follow the line down, then exhale as you go across the floor. Hold on the way back up to the top again. That's it, you've got it. Keep going. Now picture the door is a window. You're looking out at some place that makes you calm. Maybe you're up in your jet, soaring over oceans or mountains or clouds. You’re safe. You’ve got this.”

Jake stared back at you intensely, nodding mutely and following every instruction until the storm in his mind had passed.

“Bet this isn't how you imagined starting your Saturday evening, is it?” he said wryly. “Talking an embarrassed claustrophobic down from a panic attack.”

You smiled gently. “There's no need to be embarrassed.”

“There is, if you knew why I'm claustrophobic in the first place,” he tittered. “My dad used to lock me in the basement closet for hours when I acted out.”

“Oh my God! That’s awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you.”

A strange expression flickered across Jake’s face. “You know, you're the first person that I've told who hasn't laughed and made a joke about it.”

Who could possibly joke about something so heart-breaking?

“It's not funny,” you insisted. “It's cruel. No parent should ever do that to their kid.”

Jake shrugged. You got the impression he wasn’t quite sure how to react to your sincerity. “I’d tell you it's all in the past and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but… well, you know. Thank you, though. No one's ever been able to talk me down so quickly before. I’ll remember what you said for next time, that's for sure.”

The two of you spent the next long while talking about anything and everything, favourite movies, childhood pets, dream vacations. It felt so easy, so natural, like you were sharing memories with someone you'd known all your life.

“Wow. We’ve been in here almost two hours now,” you said, glancing at your watch. The time had felt like nothing to you.

“Shit, really?”

You nodded. “You know what they say, time flies….”

“When you're in good company,” Jake finished, changing the ending of the well-known phrase.

Your face flushed.

“I couldn't have asked for a better person to be trapped in an elevator with,” Jake added.

“Let's not make a habit of it, though.”

“Agreed regarding being trapped in elevators, I’m a hard pass on that one. But what would you say about spending time together, more generally speaking? Preferably outside of a giant tin can?”

Your eyes lifted to lock with his. But, before you could open your mouth to reply, the engineer's voice came booming.

“Good news folks! We have lift-off. Freedom awaits in t minus 20 seconds.”

-

You both emerged from the elevator to an expectant crowd; a rather smug looking engineer, a few members of hotel staff, and curious hotel residents who’d congregated to see what all the commotion was about. There was even a smattering of applause as the door opened and you and Jake dusted yourselves off and stepped out onto the gilded carpet.

He was swept up by a group of his friends almost immediately. They whooped and jeered and jostled him out of the foyer within a matter of seconds, giving him barely a chance to look back.

You carried on with the rest of your evening as planned. But you felt in a state of bewilderment the entire time. You mingled and made small talk at your work event, all the while convincing yourself that you were making the right decision about how you would end your night.

Surely, it would be better to know than live with the maybe?

The sound of your knock on Jake’s hotel room door seemed to echo endlessly along the corridor.

Were you making a mistake? What if your time spent together in that small metal box had been some strange dream, and any moment now the floor would jolt, and you would bolt up in bed?

You heard movement. The shuffling footsteps.

All you could do now was hold your breath.

#top gun maverick #jake hangman seresin #top gun #beth's meet cute moodboards #this is incredible

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desert-fern · 4 hours

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“men aren’t pretty” wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong bad incorrect stop talking

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desert-fern · 5 hours

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The person I reblogged this from is awesome as fuck.

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desert-fern · 6 hours

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looks like someone is purring while sleeping

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desert-fern · 6 hours

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desert-fern · 6 hours

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thank you for following me I have nothing to offer

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desert-fern · 6 hours

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Am still tickled by Hangman's puzzled expression at getting ditched by Phoenix in the middle of their pool game xD Still enjoying Jake Seresin and Natasha Trace two years later....

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desert-fern · 6 hours

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you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me