dilara-k

[dilara-k]

NIGHT IN PARADISE 낙원의 밤 2021, dir. Park Hoon Jung

#musing

[dilara-k]

Dee bit the inside of her cheek as she listened, wanting more than anything to empathize with him but everything felt like an excuse. They have all lost people. She lost a member of her own family, but she wasn't blocking out her friends. Perhaps wasn't going out of her way to be super social in the last week but that was more out of trying to deal with her own drama then anything else. She didn't stop them when they came, she didn't stop replying to texts or making sure that they were alright. Swallowing hard, she lifted her head and said, "The thing is that you do have attachments, or at least still have friends despite those loses... but if your decision was to 'detach' yourself, or stop everything all together then a conversation should have taken place." Dilara didn't understand what was the problem with the male population's inability to have a serious conversation when things got rough. "I care about you, Dae... I care about our friendship and it hurts to have you just vanish like that but I can understand how you're feeling to an extent so if that's really what you want... then so be it." she let out with a sigh. She had been the one always looking for him, and texting him over the past few weeks so she didn't understand how she fell into that analogy. Dee didn't want to be the only one holding on to another dead friendship either, regardless of how close or not the two were. Letting go seemed like the only thing people did nowadays, so she couldn't be mad at him for thinking the same.

"He came back after Katherine's..." she couldn't bring herself to say it, so she continued past it, "At least I think. I didn't bother to ask. He just showed here like he was owed shit." Dilara had no plans of entertaining Cameron's delusion when it came to her kids. They weren't going anywhere she didn't allow. If things had to get drastic then she was ready it. "He has no guardianship over my kids so I'm not too worried."

He blinked at her reaction, taken aback. After a moment of silence, however, he nodded. “…you’re right. I, uh. I owe you an explanation.” Dae swallowed hard, glancing down at his hands. “…people keep vanishing, Dee. I’m…tired of making friends just for them to disappear the next day. I’m tired of getting to know people just to have them ripped away a week later. My whole life has been nothing but people leaving—I haven’t seen my sister since high school, I only just recently managed to reconnect with Jieun, I didn’t even know Hana and Junho were living here, the only reason I came here in the first place was because I was chasing Selin…I’m always the one chasing. And it’s…it’s tiring.” He gave a small shrug. “I figured it would be easier if I just didn’t have any attachments in the first place. But…that’s not how I work.” At Dee’s latter words, his brow furrowed, glancing back up at her. “Whoa, what? Cameron’s back?” His eyebrows raised even further as she continued. “He wants the kids? But he’s the one that walked out on you! What kind of nerve-?” Dae stopped himself, rubbing his hands across his face. “What the hell is his problem?”

#convo #nam daeeun

[dilara-k]

It would have been a waste of time to explain that she hadn't been speaking to her, but rather making an out loud statement which she felt the need to respond to. Dilara rolled her eyes at the girl's fribble attempt to get a rise out of her. Perhaps if the words had come from someone who meant something to her she would have been feeling differently, but looking at the female before her now Dee felt nothing more than a slight irritation. She had put her business all out there already, so there was nothing else this girl could say to shake her or bend her. She simply stopped caring. "I'd have to care for your opinion to be butthurt, and who are you again? Seems like you know a little too much about my life instead of having one of your own. Give that a try, and you won't be so bored that you attempt to mom shame someone who doesn't even know your name." she said matter of face, despite her knowing who she was. Her voice fell void of any heat or ice - expressionless and neutral. Dee didn't care for this little girl, or her attempt at clouding her judgement specially when she knew not of what she spoke. She could tell that this was going to be a very repetitive conversation already. "I think I'll stay, but you can feel free to go." Dee declared, turning back towards the bar and taking a sip of her drink hoping she'd get the hint and leave her be.

"Weren't you the one who talked to me first?" Kayra pointed out, letting out a laugh. People always thought they were hot shit until they can't stand to hear people disagree. "At the end of the day, you being here again to look for a new daddy figure for your poor kids while you leave them at home is embarrassing. Don't be so butthurt about just how pathetic you actually look when it's just me pointing out the mere obvious," she said with a smirk. "By neglecting them? Ooh, score," Kayra sarcastically added, letting out another laugh as she even held up a thumbs up, because this woman was absolutely pathetic in her eyes. She was everything her mother would have hated for her to be. A lonely housewife who can't even say she was good at that, with a failed marriage and absolutely nothing else to offer. Besides, she never understood what the point of having kids was if these 'parents' will take every excuse to leave them behind and 'have fun' without them. No one forced these old people to procreate anyway. "The exit's that way, by the way, if you want to do what you're supposed to do and actually be with your kids," Kay said, pointing towards the door, with the fakest smile.

#convo #kayra davani

[dilara-k]

"You took the words right out of my mouth." Dilara agreed before taking another sip of her drink and nodding. "The night of the engagement party?" Dee asked, although she technically would have already known had she not blocked out that entire night from her thoughts. There had been way too much happening, and she hadn't exactly been in the best mental state while in attendance either. "Well do be safe, like you mentioned before they do have a thing for the hot ones." she said with a chuckle, "I'm just hoping this all blows over and they figure it out faster then last time. Or the time before that."

dilara-k​:

“I wouldn’t go that far.” she grinned at the female. Dilara wasn’t really looking for someone to enjoy the night with. She merely wanted to have some fun and let go of all the worries and stress that the last month had poured on her. “I think a dance or two might just be all the fun I need.” Dee laughed along with her, then took a sip of her drink. “It was fitting as bad as that was.” she admitted and shook her head as she smiled, “You see, now when you put it that way! I might actually have to try now.” she tilted her head and laughed once more, “Is that what’s in store for you tonight?”

“Sometimes dancing the night away is all the medication we need,” Iris agreed, with a small smile. She would know, most of her nights ended with drinks and dancing. “Hey, I’m just making a point. The one time I didn’t plan to leave a party with someone and I ended up stabbed,” she pointed out, with a small laugh. She gave a small shrug when she asked about her night. “I don’t have any plans to go home with anyone tonight, my fellow bartender tonight isn’t one I go home with so I’ll just play it by ear,” she answered, before taking a quick swig from her water bottle that was certainly not full of water. 

#convo #iris anev

[dilara-k]

Although her thoughts felt jumbled and erratic, Dilara knew what her role was. She was a mother above all, and that should be her main focus. Over the last few weeks she'd been so consumed with all the drama that it felt like her life was at a standstill. She wanted to move forwards, and wanted to do what was best for herself but at what cost? She truly didn't trust her own judgement anymore, so all she could do was pretend like everything was fine again. Bury her feelings and emotions, and just get by. "I will. It just takes time." Dee was more then sure she didn't want that man near her or her children, but the lingering thoughts were hard to fight off. It always went back to what's best for her kids, and if her pushing him away would harm her relationship with them in the future. "It's harder because of the kids. I don't want to do anything that would harm them later on. Like what if me pushing him away makes things worst? What if they end up hating for me? It's just a lot of mental play, I think, so it makes it harder for me to just push past, even though I know it's the right thing for me." she shrugged, although it terrified her to think of. Alfie and Macy meant the whole world to Dee and she didn't want to make the wrong decision when it came to them. "Thank the heavens for that." she said, shaking her head at how crazy their town has been, "It's definitely feels a little easier to breath not having to worry about it all." She paused for a second before asking, "How's Jake's court proceedings going? Any new updates?"

Charlotte watches Dilara quietly. She doesn't really care if her words were a little too blunt, because the redhead needs to hear it. She's never been someone to coddle. Even if her tone's gentle, Charlotte's words tended to be direct. Maybe they process their emotions differently, but she doesn't understand why she's making excuses for a cheater and a man who abandoned her and her kids, or why she's still allowing herself to indulge in the what ifs and the whys of it all when none of it will change what happened, especially when it's been months already. Cameron's already done so much, she doesn't understand why Dilara's allowing him more power. She hates seeing her like this. "I don't need to hear that I'm right, I need you to believe it and to act on it, alright?" She knows she's dismissing it, opting to change the subject when things got a little too serious, and she'll allow it, because at the end of the day, this is up to Dilara, and Charlotte's a little too drained from her dealing with her own problems. She looks over at her son. "Kids are curious, he's just exploring," she notes. "Yeah, now that everything's safe again, it's not a bad idea to have him be around other children."

#convo #charlotte oh

[dilara-k]

Dilara nodded her head as she listened, "It's a small world after all." she said, giving her a smile. "But that's nice. Specially if there's no enmity between the two of you." There seemed to be a bit too much of that going around this town, but Eden was such a down to earth person in Dee's eyes that she couldn't imagine anyone having any ill feelings when it came to her. Finally feeling somewhat more normal, Dee took a look at the clock on the wall to ensure her babies didn't sleep in too late, and began taking bites of her food. "I may have been drinking a little too much, and pulled them into the bathroom." Dee scratched a nonexistent itch on the top of her head as she thought of a way to explain without giving too much details - she rarely ever spoke of her sexual encounters. "It wasn't like full on, or anything like that. Just-" Dee hid her face behind her hands for a moment, before brushing her hair back, "-just oral, but lord did I see the heavens. And they were judging." she giggled at her own words. Dilara had been rather speechless afterwards, and that probably had as much to do with Viktor's involvement as their combined actions. They brought out a reckless side of Dee that not even she knew well and it's been going since their first kiss all those years ago which she pretended never happened to begin with. It excited her to even think about it. "Viktor happened." she let out nodding as if it was just a fact.

"I don't know -" Because that much was true - if there was any ulterior motive to Drew's move to Nightrest, Eden hadn't a clue. "- he just bought the yacht club, I didn't even know he was in town until I ran into him." She didn't bring up that he hadn't even lived in Nightrest before then - not wanting to fuel onto whatever narrative Dee was churning in her head. "It's just - not the happiest story. I don't know if he'd want me airing out our dirty business." Her dirty business - she'd been the reason for their relationship ending, the source of problems, of heartaches. Her focused gaze on her food shifts as Dee talks about her own night, a smile replacing the slight frown that had formed - her energy restored to something happier - excited, even. "Just innocent fun," Eden repeated what Dee had repeated from her - tone different, now - smile widening, taking a larger form. "Okay - but like, what happened? Who happened?" It was her turn to be nosy - taking a seat at the island and folding her hands in front of her - trying to contain herself.

#convo #eden shepherd

[dilara-k]

Dee: Absolutely, got the babies enrolled in daycare finally. Dee: I think it's for the best, this way if what's his face wants to go see them he can pass by there and not here. Dee: How have you been?

fey 📲 dee 🧁

Fey: you doing okay over there?

#text #feyza kaplan

[dilara-k]

"I wouldn't go that far." she grinned at the female. Dilara wasn't really looking for someone to enjoy the night with. She merely wanted to have some fun and let go of all the worries and stress that the last month had poured on her. "I think a dance or two might just be all the fun I need." Dee laughed along with her, then took a sip of her drink. "It was fitting as bad as that was." she admitted and shook her head as she smiled, "You see, now when you put it that way! I might actually have to try now." she tilted her head and laughed once more, "Is that what's in store for you tonight?"

dilara-k​:

“I’m not surprised.” Dee grinned, remembering the bartender from a while back. For some reason that felt like an entire lifetime ago with everything that went on in their small town. “I completely forgot about the curfew to be honest.” She chuckled at her last question and shook her head, “No. Nothing of the sorts. It just felt like time, you know?” she shrugged, entirely aware that the girl before girl didn’t know what she was talking about. “Who knows when I’ll show up on the shore so I might as well enjoy the time I’ve got left.” Dilara joked.

Iris didn’t know all that much about the gingers life, but normally when someone says it’s time that means they are trying to move on from some sort of ex. “Well, if you didn’t come here with someone I’m sure you’re very capable of leaving here with someone,” she said, with a playful tone. If anything she would get the confidence boost she appeared to be looking for. Iris wasn’t expecting her joke, so she couldn’t help the laugh that poured from her lips. “That’s a little dark, don’t you think?” she asked, between giggles. “You have a point, though. Killers around here seem to have a thing for the hot ones, so you have a brand new reason not to leave here alone tonight.” 

#convo #iris anev

[dilara-k]

"I don't remember asking for your expert opinion on the matter. I suggest you go and find someone who actually cares to listen to your extraneous thoughts." Dee turned to face the woman before her - expression bored and uninterested, "Thank you so much for the concern, but I'll handle my kids the way I see fit." If there was anything that she had ever done right was raising her children, and no little girl was going to twist her thoughts surrounding the matter. Dee wasn't going to feel guilty about enjoying a night off.

"So you make it a habit to leave your children behind so you can feel good about yourself on a random weekday by trying to get the attention of other people in a nightclub when you're already pushing forty?" Kayra asked, the distaste evident in her tone. She just didn't understand what this lady was doing here, nor was she particularly happy that the redhead had decided to talk to her, because Kayra already considered this conversation a waste of her time. "Mother of the year award," she sarcastically added, smirking.

#kayra davani #convo

[dilara-k]

"No, not normally I don't think." Dilara chuckled lightly. She didn't often find herself out on a weekday unless her children were already, but her choice of dressing up was more for her mental satisfaction then anything else. After having been inside wearing nothing but pajamas she wanted to look and feel beautiful so she decided to go all out. Dee turned back to face the bar, thanking the bartender as they placed her drinks before her, and taking a sip. "I don't believe we have met before. I'm Dilara." she introduced herself to the female before her and offered her a smile. With all the murders in town over the span of a few months it was still surprising to see new faces in town.

Kendall fussed with a napkin as the bartender dropped another drink in front of her. There were far too many errands she still had to run, but she made no effort to leave her seat. If someone had told Kendall a year ago that she would find herself drinking a watered-down cocktail in a small-town bar, she would have laughed in their face. Now, Kendall spent most of her days cleaning up after a yapping dog with a biting problem. Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't even noticed that someone had taken the seat next to her. She craned her neck to watch the other patrons at the bar before turning back around. Busy for Nightrest, sure, but nothing compared to the ones in the city. A sad look flashed across her face at the thought of her friends and family in New York, but it passed as quickly as it came. "Yup, Nightrest sure knows how to keep things exciting," she deadpanned, taking a drink from her glass. "Do people usually get, like, dressed up for Tueday nights around here?"

#convo #kendall elliot

[dilara-k]

"I'm not surprised." Dee grinned, remembering the bartender from a while back. For some reason that felt like an entire lifetime ago with everything that went on in their small town. "I completely forgot about the curfew to be honest." She chuckled at her last question and shook her head, "No. Nothing of the sorts. It just felt like time, you know?" she shrugged, entirely aware that the girl before girl didn't know what she was talking about. "Who knows when I'll show up on the shore so I might as well enjoy the time I've got left." Dilara joked.

dilara-k​:

Location: Medusa Opened Starter:@nightreststarters

Dilara approached the bar, having had found a seat opened for the taking. “Let me get an Amaretto Sour and a water, please.” she asked the bartender, flashing them a smile. She decided to take her friend’s advice and just put things behind her and live her life. There was no reason why she should be keeping herself at home as if she had done anything wrong, so Dee decided she had enough and took herself out. Her hair laid perfectly waved down her back and she dressed in a small black dress with red bottom heel’s to adorn. With news of new murders she perhaps shouldn’t have come alone, but not wanting to give herself yet another reason to stay home she put it out of her mind coming to the conclusion that she’d text someone to meet her here. “It’s pretty lively for a tuesday night.” she spoke outloud as she glanced towards the dance floor.

Iris had met this woman before, she was actually sitting in the same exact seat. This time she had a little something extra, something that makes her just a pinch hotter than she remembered. “I think this is like a protest to the cerfew laws. I mean that didn’t seem to do shit when this happened before so I can’t blame them,” she responded, with a small shrug. “Is that why you decided to come out tonight, or do you have a hot date?”

#convo #iris anev

[dilara-k]

Dilara was a bit startled at first, but upon registering the young female's face a smile spread widely across her face. "Flora!" she exclaimed, happy to see her again after what felt like eons. It had to have been a good four or five years by now for certain because she hadn't even had Alfie at the time yet. "No. No, you're good!" she said, having had reached to wrap her arms around Flora as well. "I have missed you too, darling -so much, you have no idea! You're so grown now!" Dee took a sip of her drink before looking around for this sweaty hand dude as if she was magically going to know who it was. "At least you got a free drink out of it." she laughed, turning back towards her, "So tell me everything. How have you been? Where have you been? When did you get back?"

Just by nature, Florence was an overly responsible person. It came with the territory, strict parents and siblings that couldn't care less. Maybe it was the time away that made her a bit more reckless, forget her complete upbringing, but the one thing Flora wasn't being tonight was responsible. Finishing off what was far from her first drink that night, she barely glanced to her side when she assumed someone was talking to her - the second Flora computed who it was, she let out a squeal. Something she would have been mortified about if she'd been a bit more put together. "Dee!" Throwing her arms around Dilara's neck, Flora squeaked quietly as she slightly slipped from the barstool she was sitting on. "Oopsie - sorry, did I step on your foot? Hi! Hi - I missed you." She was close enough with Dee that it wouldn't have been hard to admit if she were sober, but the confession slipped out far easier with as much alcohol in her system as there was. "Yeah, it's so busy tonight - this guy kept asking me to dance with him, but his hands were so sweaty. He got me a drink though. So that's good right?"

#convo #florence samuels

[dilara-k]

Despite having had spoken out-loud Dee turned a bit surprise at hearing a response. "Not often, but the few times I have it's never been this full." she said to the girl before turning back to take in the crowd once more. At the last question she furrowed her eyebrows slightly confused, "I am. Is there more to that?" Everyone knew she had children, so the question had to mean something for the young stripper to bring it up.

Kayra merely ran her eyes up and down Dilara's body once the redhead started talking, wondering why that much older lady thought she wanted to hear anything she had to say, especially when she's never been a fan of the Kaplan sisters, and their weirdo cousins. "How would you know what's lively? You come here often on a weekday? Aren't you a mother?" Kay asked, the disgust and judgment evident in her face.

#convo #kayra davani

[dilara-k]

"Can you elaborate?" she asked once more, not entirely satisfied with the simplicity in his reply. "Stop apologizing, Dae!" Dee exclaimed, "I just want to know what's going on with you. You just up and disappeared out of the blue, don't talk to nobody, don't care for nobody, so what's the deal? Huh? I get it shit got hard, and everyone's trying to deal with it but you don't just aband-" Dee stopped herself from talking, and sighed once more. She didn't bother sitting down, instead leaning against the backrest of a chair. "It was the best thing that could have happened." Dilara was not ready to start yelling for people to get out of her home at the time. Specially not with all the drinks she had. "They're fine. . . as okay as can be when their absentee father shows up out of the blue to say hi then threated to take them away." Or rather Alfie - it was easy to see he couldn't care less for their daughter.

He shrugged awkwardly. "Not really, but, uh...life doesn't wait, right?" Dae gave her a small smile, moving from the wall to sit nearby. "Sorry. Didn't mean to make it awkward." At her explanation, his eyebrows skyrocketed and he let out a small laugh. "You got the cops called on the party?" he chuckled. "Well, at least everyone cleared out. At least the godforsaken cops are good for something," he added, shaking his head. "How are the kids doing?"

#nam daeeun #convo

[dilara-k]

Location: Medusa Opened Starter: @nightreststarters

Dilara approached the bar, having had found a seat opened for the taking. “Let me get an Amaretto Sour and a water, please.” she asked the bartender, flashing them a smile. She decided to take her friend’s advice and just put things behind her and live her life. There was no reason why she should be keeping herself at home as if she had done anything wrong, so Dee decided she had enough and took herself out. Her hair laid perfectly waved down her back and she dressed in a small black dress with red bottom heel’s to adorn. With news of new murders she perhaps shouldn’t have come alone, but not wanting to give herself yet another reason to stay home she put it out of her mind coming to the conclusion that she’d text someone to meet her here. "It's pretty lively for a tuesday night." she spoke outloud as she glanced towards the dance floor.

#nightrest:starter #convo #feel free to assume connection if we haven't plotted

[dilara-k]

Dee: I'm alright, Bel. Thank you for checking. <3 Dee: Who knows? This town seems to be filled with sick individuals. We just got to be careful with who we associate with. Dee: Want to do dinner later this week maybe?

BEL: one of those people also used to be your friend [ unsent ]

BEL: yeah ig but still

BEL: i just wanted to make sure you were okay

BEL: i hope not either

BEL: how many murders do we have to go through before it finally all stops??

#belkis kaplan #text

[dilara-k]

Dee: […]

Dee: Should I not be? [unsent]

Dee: What happened to those people it’s awful but nothing we haven’t lived through already.

Dee: I hope this thing isn’t starting up again. How are you?

BEL: you’re welcome

BEL: i felt like you needed a pick me up

BEL: you doing okay? after the news?

#text #belkis kaplan