🔌 FUTURAMA SENTENCE PROMPTS !
triggering / nsfw may be present , these are taken from varying seasons of the show.
“ I can’t be mad, I’m on way too many painkillers. ”
“ What an idiot I was! And by “I”, I meant “you”! ”
“ Thanks to you, I went on a soul-searching journey. ”
“ How can I be so bad at everything I try, and still be so great? ”
“ These things are not weaknesses. They make me what I am. ”
“ You’re always gettin’ frozen in stuff. It’s your thing, man! ”
“ Just wait ‘til I get my hands on those healthy purple berries! ”
“ But what are those aliens tryin’ to ask us? What do the tones mean? ”
“ What’s the point? What good is it to talk to her in my own dream? ”
“ I’ve dreamed about you a lot since you disappeared. ”
“ Have you been using my toothbrush to polish your ass again?! ”
“ There’s so much I need to say. Is it really you? ”
“ It’s time we solved this problem the old-fashioned way. By shooting it. ”
“ To see if you’re the real [name], I’m gonna ask you something only he would know. ”
“ You’ve accomplished so much more than most of us would bother to. ”
“ I’m dying to know how you got here. Was it a time machine? ”
“ I’m no medical expert, but I think you be showing some serious signs of ‘illin. ”
“ May I buy you a drink? We don’t get a lot of pretty faces around here. ”
“ You can’t sit on something for a week without falling in love with it. ”
“ You can’t just kill somebody because they’re ugly and corrosive. ”
“ Don’t you ever wonder about the future? ”
“ You think you can just waltz in here with no pants and become a cop? ”
“ I’m as sad as an upside-down smile. ”
“ I guess we’ll have to deliver that human heart tomorrow. ”
“ We have nothing to fear but running out of beer. ”
“ The only things they did better than us were suck and die. ”
“ Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? ”
“ You’ve fallen into the final debilitating stages of womanhood. ”
“ Something tells me I could easily beat those trained professionals… ”
“ This outfit makes me look fat. Is it trampy to go on a first date nude? ”
“ Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. ”
“ With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! ”
“ Why don’t you smoke it already? Puff, puff, go, go, go, go, go! ”
“ I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. ”
“ Hey, I’m a porno-dealing monster. What do I care what you think? ”
“ Is this really happening or just being staged? ”
“ I will marry her now and confine her to hell! ”
“ I know whose funeral we’ll be attending next! ”
“ Call it a hunch but I’ve got a bad feeling about this. “
“ Whoa, you look better than you used to for some reason. ”
“ Instead of shooting where I was, you should have shot where I was going to be. ”
“ Haven’t I seen you in some copyrighted movie? ”
“ Not a day goes by I don’t ask myself the same question. ”
“ What?! Don’t ever, ever say or think that again! ”
“ You can’t give up hope just because it is hopeless! ”
“ So do you know I’m going to do something before I do it? ”
“ How am I supposed to hear prayers coming out of my ass? ”
“ There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. ”
“ A casino where I always win. That’s boring. I must really be… in Hell! ”
“ So there really is an infinite number of universes? ”
“ Now that’s a wave of destruction that’s easy on the eyes! ”
“ The wall of that strip club isn’t going to collapse twice in one day. ”
“ Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death. ”
“ Get lost! I’d say don’t quit your day job, but you’re awful at that too! ”
“ I think when people obsess about the past it’s because they’re afraid of the future. ”
“ You’ve convinced me life is worth living… by showing me how bad my funeral will suck! ”
“ Man, we look stupid. We should’ve gotten store-bought costumes. ”
“ I don’t want to be rescued. ”
“ I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. ”
“ I finally found what I need to be happy and it’s not friends, it’s things. “
“ So, none of you have ever had anchovies? ”
“ Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was? ”
“ I knew you wouldn’t have asked unless it was really high or really low. ”
“ You’re a pimple on society’s ass and you’ll never amount to anything! ”
“ Now that you mention it, I do have trouble breathing underwater sometimes. ”
“ I wouldn’t talk about taste if I was wearing a lime green tank top. ”
“ We all laughed so hard our teeth fell out. ”
“ I’ll never be too good or too evil again. From now on, I’ll just be me. ”
“ Do you think you could survive a seven-hundred foot fall? ”
“ But this electricity abuse crossed the line. You almost killed us. ”
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( * &. ━ SANTA CLARITA DIET SENTENCE STARTERS
* potential trigger warning : this post contains a lot of murder and possible spoilers.
‘ no more doing things separately. from now on, we fuck everything up together. ’
‘ i’m not doing cocaine. i just have a feeling i would be unbearable. ’
‘ what, you hear that? that’s the sound of the tables turning. ’
‘ i just wanted your vomit. why’d you have to make it weird? ’
‘ our kitchen looks like the inside of a shark. ’
‘ i had such a good day at the asylum. ’
‘ kidnapping. why don’t governments do more to stop them? ’
‘ we’re hand models and we have to protect our assets from sun damage. ’
‘ killing people is hard. i used to think that was a good thing. ’
‘ he worships you. you’re the queen of his spank bank. ’
‘ sweetheart, you bought a car and now you’re grinding on the neighbors. this is not who you are! ’
‘ i’ve been wanting one ever since this morning! ’
‘ i feel like whatever i say is going to make you push harder against my vagina. ’
‘ i really want to make this work. ’
‘ sometimes you do shit you never expected for the people you love. ’
‘ oh god, you’re in to sports? this relationship is getting even more untenable. ’
‘ what a cute, weird couple you make. ’
‘ i like not killing people – i’ve always liked it. i just forgot how much. ’
‘ killing people is hard. i used to think that was a good thing. ’
‘ we’re not good at murder. i happen to think that’s a positive quality. ’
‘ oh no, my finger’s oozing again. ’
‘ no, he’s fine, he just saw something on television and now he’s living his life by it. ’
‘ i think he spent too much time in a hot car. ’
‘ you could’ve slapped bloody hands on who knows how many dead asses. ’
‘ whoa, hey, wow, look at your face! ’
‘ you look amazing! like a sexy raccoon! ’
‘ i am not a murderer! okay, technically i am. not even technically. literally. but i refuse to be defined by that one time i murdered somebody. ’
‘ you bailed so you don’t get to have an opinion, okay? ’
‘ nobody likes a backseat arsonist. ’
‘ yes, it’s fun to be carefree and spontaneous and less hirable in a depressed job market. ’
‘ oh my god, are you serious? you’d kill me with a bat? ’
‘ you know what’s cool? i’m never surprised anymore. ’
‘ i feel like a bus station shit in my mouth. ’
‘ well, we can’t start killing people. ’
‘ we’re getting life back to normal and killing people isn’t normal, sweetheart. ’
‘ i love this idea. you’re an evil genius. ’
‘ act casual. ’
‘ you see? i’ve known you, what, five minutes and already i’d rather have you kill me. ’
‘ new lesson: if at first you don’t succeed then blast his ass with tear gas. ’
‘ just because something’s changed doesn’t mean it’s not still beautiful. ’
‘ if you miss eating pizza, eat a man who just at pizza. ’
‘ i just threw up. like a fair amount. ’
‘ i know we have to kill somebody today, but we have to be parents every day. ’
‘ i just stuffed a man in a meat freezer. cross that off my bucket list. ’
‘ i am so glad this is not one of those diseases that dries your skin out. ’
‘ here’s a solution: let’s all stop talking until i can think of what to say next. ’
‘ god, there’s so many ways to mess up your children. ’
‘ everyone is afraid of change, but when life is screaming ‘this is your new truth,’ you need to accept it. ’
‘ be bold, be brave, and live your new truth, no matter what it is. ’
‘ how do you have so much testosterone without balls? ’
‘ i’ve just been lying here, successfully throwing a ball up and down. ’
‘ i mean, he’s giggling a lot now, so that’s new. ’
‘ i’ll let you do the math because he couldn’t. ’
‘ you keep talking shit about us and i swear to god i will drop kick you. ’
‘ try it and i will kick your twat so far up your throat that you’ll get pregnant giving blow jobs. ’
‘ we’re gonna kill people, sweetheart. ’
‘ we’re gonna kill people so you can eat them. ’
‘ we’ve been us since high school. i’m not gonna bail on you now. ’
‘ would it be weird if i took his watch? ’
‘ don’t come at me with that weak tea. ’
‘ whoa, buddy, there’s a lot to unpack here. ’
‘ i’m panicking so my lizard brain is making a lot of the decisions. ’
‘ well……. bye! ’
‘ i started thinking about that nervous smile of yours. ’
‘ you gotta stop saying that to people. ’
‘ nice try blending in, you handsome, thick-haired, son of a bitch. ’
‘ ‘i love you very much’? what the fuck is that supposed to mean? ’
‘ sometimes i feel like you’re batman and robin and i’m… alfred. ’
‘ damn, you still have that new baby smell. ’
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