dizazterparty

[dizazterparty]

Had surgery this week unexpectedly and I'm thrown between resenting the pain and being grateful for it bc it means I'm allowed to complain abt it hurting and no one gets upset at me for it

#and the pain meds...god i wish i had more #the incidion site hurts so fucking badly and the recovery is several months #i want to cry and be held #testimonials

[dizazterparty]

Auuuugggjjjjvhvhhhghshd

#testimonials

[dizazterparty]

Shit. I love you. I love you so much it hurts

#i cant breathe #testimonials

[dizazterparty]

Oh fuck

#testimonials

[dizazterparty]

Yeah, I did

Am I really about to lick up a random pill I accidentally crushed in hopes it makes me feel anything

#and yes it helped me feel Something #worth it #testimonials

[dizazterparty]

Yeah, I did

Am I really about to lick up a random pill I accidentally crushed in hopes it makes me feel anything

#and yes it helped me feel Something #worth it #testimonials

[dizazterparty]

I'm afraid of you

#testimonials

[dizazterparty]

Am I really about to lick up a random pill I accidentally crushed in hopes it makes me feel anything

#i accidentally had it on my laptop #closed the laptop. it crushed. i still want it so bad... #testimonials

[dizazterparty]

Quality update to this misery: I went to the doctor and they told me I have noticeable hearing loss, and if the meds don't work I'll need to look into getting hearing aids that I can't afford 👍

There's something so daunting and pit in my gut feeling as I get older and my eyesight worsens. I'm legally blind without my glasses, and every time I look around without glasses it terrifies me to know I just can't see anything. Art is my job, my passion, my everything, what will I do when my sight is completely gone? Looking at the world so blurry, it makes me feel so deeply helpless. I will not have money or insurance to cover getting new ones anymore, so I'm trying to be extra careful with them to make them last

#no more insurance after june so no more disability aids for me #yay being disabled in a society that doesnt care abt you on a systemic level <3 #testimonials

[dizazterparty]

I've only been without my antipsychs for a few days and it's already enough to make me want to die I hate this

#testimonials #the ONE medication i couldnt stock up on and its the only one that helps me #i want to sob

[dizazterparty]

There's something so daunting and pit in my gut feeling as I get older and my eyesight worsens. I'm legally blind without my glasses, and every time I look around without glasses it terrifies me to know I just can't see anything. Art is my job, my passion, my everything, what will I do when my sight is completely gone? Looking at the world so blurry, it makes me feel so deeply helpless. I will not have money or insurance to cover getting new ones anymore, so I'm trying to be extra careful with them to make them last

#and ik that its a disability to be blind #im already there #but god i wish i wasnt #if i lose my glasses i have to fight myself to not have a breakdown over it #bc the longer i cant see the more upset i get and i just want to see #i just want to see #testimonials

[dizazterparty]

Me: maybe I can conserve my medication by only taking it once every other day instead of every day

Me after 4 days: everything is painfully real, my body is dying around me, everything I know and love will be dust in front of my eyes one day, I wish I was dead

#turns out antipsychotic medication helps u to not feel the pyschotic part who wouldve guessed #testimonials

[dizazterparty]

"You're everything I wished my daughters would be"

#hits weird when im not a girl anymore #testimonials

[dizazterparty]

characters with prey animal rage

[dizazterparty]

when the whole house got the autism

#my mom has my box of rocks i carefully picked out over the years since i was baby #i dont remember any of them but im glad she kept them #might break me when shes dead amd i go through her things and find them but ill cross that bridge when i get to it

[dizazterparty]

Dissociation

[dizazterparty]

something holy inside you wants to get out but you can’t let it