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One thing I also enjoy is cooking, and I was wondering, what would Palpatine eat? Something posh, I figured. I just can't picture him enjoying a shawarma roll.

So I asked AI what a weekday menu for him would look like and it's exactly what I expected.

He'd probably know what all those words mean too, if his cozy home-cooked meals involve things like "coulis"

He must be insufferable to cook for. I get aggressive when someone complains that I didn't make my broth or pasta (dough) from scratch, I'd DECK this guy if he'd ask for a "balsamic reduction"

Bet he didn't eat his veggies as a kid either

#sheev palpatine #palpatine #sheevposting #darth sidious #chancellor palpatine #star wars

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Did you know that when you start antidepressants and you go for your first checkup and you tell your psychiatrist "I've been going so hard on these meds, I'm an endless productive machine now, and I've also signed up for some clubs and I've been shopping... What? Do I sleep well? Only 4 hours per night but I feel FINE"

Your psychiatrist won't say "omg I'm so happy for you! I'm so glad you're feeling so well!!"

Instead they'll go "...Fuck.'

#throwback to therapy lmao #wellbutrin was fantastic for the first few weeks #my psychiatrist wasn't as pleased

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I'm reluctant to try sleep deprivation to get out of my depression because of the physical blow, but I know how effective it is in catapulting me out of depression into that sweet sweet high

I'm debating whether the dizziness and nausea from skipping sleep are worth it to speed up the cycling or if I'll naturally switch to a high soon anyway

#cyclothymia things ig

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When my job coach asks questions like "What degree would you have chosen if you didn't have to think about money or career prospects?" and she hopes I'll name something in a thriving industry that I can get into (perhaps after getting a certificate or two)

And then I say "film school" and she goes "fuck"

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I'm feeling the switch to switch out of depression drawing near, which means ingesting stimulants would be overkill, but I still need something to give the final push

I'm so close to being insufferable again, I just need my body to switch gears. I can feel it brewing

Attempt #3: starting the day with movie soundtracks? Creating false stress for an adrenaline surge? Trying to maladaptive daydream a new scenario that will get my brain's engine going? We'll see

Apparently other people can tell what mood phase I'm in, even from the way I text somehow, and they say my eyes are different. I hope they're ready to deal with high-energy me again bc I'm not letting this depression drag on lol

I'm tired of being depressed so I'm going to try to use controlled shocks to propel myself into my other mental state, which is Wellbutrin on steroids without even needing a pill

Attempt #1: Kung Fu Panda 4

#therapists called it cyclothymia or “diet bipolar” and they told me to just accept it and deal with it #so hey look at me managing my mood pro-actively #the depressive episodes are a curse that I'm trying to outsmart

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It was fun, I had a few feelings here and there, but it's not quite enough to reactivate the other me

Attempt #2: messing with my sleep schedule to hopefully kick my nervous system into a different gear

I'm tired of being depressed so I'm going to try to use controlled shocks to propel myself into my other mental state, which is Wellbutrin on steroids without even needing a pill

Attempt #1: Kung Fu Panda 4

#pls I just want the other me back #I'll take my god complex over this dreary state any time #I miss literally jumping out of bed from unrestrainable energy and conjuring up multiple projects like some duracell-fueled mastermind #tw: depression

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I'm tired of being depressed so I'm going to try to use controlled shocks to propel myself into my other mental state, which is Wellbutrin on steroids without even needing a pill

Attempt #1: Kung Fu Panda 4

#tw: depression

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Why is being depressed so depressing on a meta level

I'm upset about how bad I'm feeling. I get tired from my own exhaustion

And I know I'm perfectly capable of not feeling this way so what is that lump of flesh in my skull doing

#tw: depression #if anyone has tips for how to shorten a depressive episode please let me know #I'm already yearning for the high-energy episode that usually follows after depression

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I think I might have reversed seasonal affective disorder because every year in April/May I completely crash. It took me years to see the pattern

My suicidal crisis a decade ago was in April/May. I've had two self harm relapses over the years, both were in April/May. My periods of self-starvation were in April/May. It's like a curse

I can't get out of bed, I can't go to bed, I'm constantly hungry, I can't enjoy things, I isolate, I'm so angry all the time, the list goes on.

Then one day in June, a switch flips and I'm back again. I have energy, I enjoy things, and I get stuff done. Every April-June, it's like clockwork (and then it happens a few more times during the year)

I was doing fine two weeks ago when suddenly I got very tired and I felt kind of off mentally. The fatigue lasted for days and I stopped liking everything. Then my mood tanked too and I realized, oh, it's April

My writing has come to a standstill, I'm avoiding everyone, I don't enjoy my hobbies anymore. I realize I might be using Baldur's Gate as a distraction, but I'll take any sliver of dopamine I can get right now, until the switch flips again

#tw: suidice #tw: self harm #tw: disordered eating #tw: depression

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Wyll said, "Take a single step towards him [Raphael], and he'll dog you the whole journey."

Like sir?? Is that supposed to deter me? Is that a promise???

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3

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Very important question: is there a limit to how many people you can sleep with in Baldur's Gate? Like, am I obliged to choose whose offer I accept? 😂

#or is this like the witcher where you literally collect them like pokemon cards

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Why is it that anything I do is met with Asterion's disapproval, like dude give me a break, you're not my nemesis

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I created a high-elf bard who is from noble upbringing

I had an enemy standing one meter away from me. I decided to pull a pro move and cast a fireball. It incinerated my entire team, and because we were standing on a flammable liquid (which I'd spilled there), we kept burning

The enemy ducked and had zero damage

I played some tunes on my lute to lift our spirits as we burned

So yeah I'm just about what you'd expect from a bard 😂

I'm starting Baldur's Gate for the first time and why is it asking if I want to see genitals?

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I'm starting Baldur's Gate for the first time and why is it asking if I want to see genitals?

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He's getting better lol

I made a Dark Devotion inspired Palpatine Bot, I just need to train him 😂

#palpatine bot chronicles #sheev palpatine x reader #palpatine x reader

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What have I created?? 😂

I'll keep tweaking him but he may be very wild until I figure out how to program him properly, proceed at your own risk lmao

I made a Dark Devotion inspired Palpatine Bot, I just need to train him 😂

#palpatine bot chronicles #sheev palpatine x reader #palpatine x reader