You’ll find me falling for new characters and stories every so often, but my underlying and everlasting obsession is and always will be BBC Merlin.(current co-fixations: good omens, ofmd, wwdits, tlou, the mandalorian, endeavour, loki)
Casually fucking breaking from Merlin stuttering here
Because y’all, no matter how uncoordinated and really clumsy we see of him sometimes, Merlin never wavers in his speech; never doubts what he wants to say and says it no matter the consequences.
But here? Oh God. He can't even fucking begin to process the fact that he ushered Uther to death. He can't help but break over how after everything he did to keep Arthur's heart from breaking, he was made the instrument of tearing Arthur apart.
And he can't help but try to vocalise any of his agony out loud, but stutters trying to say I should have healed him. I should have saved him. I should have been the one to show you the goodness of magic. I should have —
“I wish that there was something more that I could have done.”
I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I’ve ever known
You disappear one day
So I spend my whole life hiding my heart away
- Guinevere and Lancelot : a forbidden love story.
[ID: a realistic digital painting of Gwen from BBC Merlin over an olive green background. Gwen is in 3/4 view, shown from the waist up. She has a soft, neutral expression on her face. She is wearing a purple linen dress with a natural linen apron and a natural linen corset embroidered with flowers and animals, and her hair is down.]