ehontee

[ehontee]

psa psa maybe.

under read more just because, sorry for mobile users though! 

this blog is dead tbh as dead as a blog can be, i have been struggling with what to do with haeri for months and years and centuries. been just developing her on one side only aka the ship side. i just felt like she was lacking a lot in development on here with other interactions/other sides of her so it was hard on me, fucking hard okay. my muse isn’t only a lover/romantic partner, i want those platonic shit and friends doing mischievous stuff or friends who want to drag her down better things or just people who are just here and can be part of her life isn’t that what we all have irl? people, acquaintances, friends. who even has lovers only? i know i don’t lmao 

i had that with the lovely @aniimvs  i always looked forward to having a thread with you and raio uhu also @lostambition added to @yeolkeot / @sodeling but do you even count lmao and @iso2108 who prolly had the longest run with haeri too ;; all of you are lovely and i love everything you had with my muse tbh the rest of them just kind of--died, not mentioning the muses whose mun simply stopped rping though, and it was a bit depressing, felt like no one really wanted to go anywhere with her and develop something with her and their muse. anyways, i don’t like whining about stuff, i like doing something about it. i have moved her to another blog which is right here silverining you’re free to follow however, before you do, note these things.

i want to develop things, i don’t want to just be stuck in the middle of stuff anymore on that blog.  i wanna plot more than do spontaneous things unless i know your mun in a way that doesn’t demand me to throw things at your muse without asking.  my activity will be spotty. i will not use icons. she has no actual fc you’re free to imagine her as you wish, read the rules but there isn’t much on there. i wanna plot, i can’t stress this enough, she will only be a plot first muse! if you’re not comfortable with plotting extensively, please for my and your own good i’ll be blunt, don’t even bother. 

that is all i can say about this issue for now, i miss writing with haeri, she’s been with me for what? four years now!! i get emotional when i think that i could just leave her and be done with it, it feels like i am abandoning her and i don’t want that. it’s fine if no one else feels the same love for her because hell no one can love her as much as i do, but if anyone would like to share her journey with their muses then do feel free to follow! i’m going to hit up whoever does to plot something out for a thread or two or three who cares, i just wanna write me some haeri stuff again. 

who read this till the end? either way, see you on the other side, have fun roleplaying, remember to love your babies till the end and never let anything take them away from you ♥

#might reblog it later on i know it's late but i felt like this needed to be done

[ehontee]

:o

*pops champagne*

THE DAY HAS COME.

I’m proud and super excited to say that today marks my one-year with Kihyun and this blog. I want to express my gratitude to everyone I have interacted with thus far for helping me develop my writing as well as this muse. I really don’t know what to say except thank you for putting up with this munchkin and me replying slow as a turtle. Kihyun has really come full circle and I have all the wonderful muses he’s come across to thank and the amazing writers that help me branch out of my own style and find one that works for me. I have a lot to learn and still a lot more I want to do with this muse but I hope you guys stick with me and him through it all.

I also wanna pat myself on the back too because I lasted this long and didn’t delete and I’m really proud of myself. I’ve had ups and downs with my writing on this blog but I pushed through. Kihyun is hands-down one of the longest blogs I’ve had consistently, only maybe three more come out on top, most of which were years ago so this is a big deal to me. Honestly speaking I don’t know what my future with this muse or even krp is but making it this far is a milestone and I’m super happy. I love this muse and I’m proud of myself for creating him even though he’s a little shit. We’ve come a long way!

And here’s to everyone I had the pleasure of interacting with as well as writers I’ve never written with but who inspire me a lot. 

Keep reading

#why you gotta tag me on dead blogs that i don't use or made but never used and then i have to go #through ten diff process to find my login info this is what we call cruelty #ah but yes ofc congratulations #you're legal for champagne and everything else now so pop that bottle #no this isn't sarcastic or anything i am really congratulating you #idk why i reblogged it here the other login was easier to find #but im lazy #i am already here #so it goes here

[ehontee]

{ Tag a quality blog, You’re it! Quality doesn’t mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how many followers you have. Send this to 10 blogs who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them! ❤

#yeolkeot #( ooc )

[ehontee]

@consilian : 

THE QUESTION IS JUSTIFIED AND IT has the corners of the female’s mouth twitching and moving in genuine amusement. Emotions, she has learned, aren’t hard to borrow; at the end of the day, all of them are saying this to get that and doing that to get this. It’s a game that mankind must have perfected eons ago, when intrigues had no way of being uncovered and when one simple, wrong word could get you into the pits of hell, damned for an eternity.

Seoyun takes this into consideration, if only briefly. I’ll give you my help in exchange for your eternal gratefulness and that’s just another way of saying I’ve got you in my hand. What does it means? It means: don’t act out. Do as I say. Follow my instructions. If not, your secret will be out for the whole world to know and your most intimate moments will be revealed to the public and what could be worse than that, in all honesty?

That’s the way she has grown up, but it’s no reason to drag others into a game they have no wish of participating. It’s why she can laugh at the question, lean back into her seat and carefully scrutinize the other woman’s intentions. How much of her is real and how much of her isn’t? There’s always another side to the person you see sitting in front of you and right now, Seoyun is intrigued and she wants to know who this person is and what they’d be willing to give and take, if it means rising to another standard, to another level that has yet to find its match, one that cannot be compared to that of her friends and family.

“I suppose there’s no real way of knowing. You either trust me or you don’t.” It’s the way a business woman would speak, features void of any type of emotion, though the small hint of genuine amusement hasn’t disappeared just yet: it’s visible in the depth of her eyes, visible in the way her lips are still curled upwards as though she’s smiling when she’s laughing, inwardly. She’s good at hiding, but she’s nowhere close to being excellent and that’s her very own mistake, though one she intends to learn from.

“I could take you higher than anyone else could.” She pauses, eyes twinkling with a casually cruel gleam of mischief. Seoyun’s up to no good, and that’s obvious       she has no intentions of hiding the truth, anyway. “And I could push you from the highest mountain, if I wanted to.” She lets the words echo in the silence that draws longer, one heartbeat molding into another and another and another before she speaks up one more time, voice dangerously low. “It’s up to you, isn’t it?”

Haeri’s laughing, loud and clear, all bright faced with warmth that is quick to settle on her cheeks and spread quickly everywhere down her throat. The sound is not tight, or mocking, it’s just a laugh, a knee jerk reaction probably. Then it’s just a precedent to a silence that has her clearing her throat, she’s squirming in her seat and the amusement hasn’t died from her eyes or the pull of er lips, not just yet. But she’s not voicing it out with the sound that seemed to have gotten some attention from nearby people. Which doesn’t matter, not really, she’s so fucking amused right now there’s no way she would care about what other people thought had made her just laugh like some crazy thing had just happened.

Or she’d gone crazy. She would have thought so too, minutes prior to the girl talking, she would have totally thought, well, that’s it, I’ve gone bonkers, totally batshit insane à la Harley Quinn. But god, she has to say this, like she seriously has to say this, even if it might offend her companion, she has to. Already leaning over the table and bent in such an angle that has her wondering how her body manages to not break under the pressure she constantly puts it into. Legs cross on the chair and now elbows folded on the table, “My therapist would have a field day with you, honestly, I think all the money they pay him would finally be worth it. Listening to you right now felt like I just moved into some sort of you know, villainous drama or manga or something, like do you pull your lines straight out of it? Do people fall for that? Is this what a business meeting is like? Christ, next thing I know you’re not human either. Have you watched W? I have only because there’s manhwa mentioned in it and it’s not quite the same as a god damn good manga but man, man,” There comes the sound again. But this time it’s a snort and she’s covering it with a hand as she leans back in her seat. Anyways, she’s lost the reason why she even mentioned that so she finds herself blinking and frowning before shrugging, “Point in case, you’re nuts. Got it. Wanna know why though? Not because you talked like you’re trying to play the joker to my batman or something, but because well, you think you can play the joker to my batman, that’s why.”

Take her high and push her off? Aren’t those just the most ironic words she’s ever heard if she even took them seriously? Granted, she should give the girl some kind of benefit of doubt because clearly, she doesn’t know who Haeri is. She can’t know, or else she wouldn’t be sitting here talking like Haeri hadn’t fucking climbed and then thrown herself off cliffs again and again, like she didn’t hang on the edge of rooftops wondering if missing a step would be that bad. It wasn’t even about quitting this world, or dying, it was just about knowing. Because she has to know, she has to live it to know and it’s defying the reasons why most people did this for. It was a past that quite did not collide anymore with the present time, it was a reckless past. But it made her who she is now, it did not make her more careful just knowing. 

“That went from business like to whatever really quick but who are you again though? I tend to, you know, misplace names until I deem them worthy to be kept or something, since we’re going all drama-ish-like, I might want to warn you too that if you’re the mountain tripper I’m the fucking rock that you stumble on your way anywhere for no fucking reasons and it just hurts but you can’t do anything because it’s a fucking rock, hitting it will just be more painful, like that shit is annoying, isn’t it?” She could only remember her being an heiress to a name she might have heard more than once or twice, Ahn, something like that. But Haeri could careless.  Business isn’t even her thing, she still has no clue whatsoever as to why Haemin couldn't have just told their father no instead of acting like he could handle pushing aside his own desires to follow through. For once. At least it felt good to know she wasn’t the only one with a guilty conscience for not doing things as their parents wished them to. 

#consilian #( catch me.if you can ) #( in case it's confusing her italics are english sentences/words also i am so sorry for this girl )

[ehontee]

@aniimvs : 

  “Treasure hunting?” A quizzical look on his face as he looked up from the book he was reading. Being half human and daimon, he was familiar with the term since it was almost similar to his other job as a soul hunter, but honestly, he had never tried treasure hunting in general. In fact, he was not sure how big this treasure hunt could get, since it could even go up to traveling different regions or countries to obtain it – unless, if she was talking about it in a game. Then again, the idea was tempting.

    HE gently closed the book he had and slid it back into one of the shelves next to him, before he got up from the chair and dusted his clothes. “I wouldn’t mind joining you, Haeri – though what are we going to look for?” Raio asked, as he cocked a brow quizzically. “And how big is it? I mean, we won’t be going out of the region, would we?”

“They don’t tell you that. It’s what’s unique about these hunts, you get to find out what you’re hunting for when you get to the place and find the spot where it’s hidden, they literally don’t make it easy either since it’s waaaaay easier to hide things now given how the world is built compared to back then you know,” She’s been taking steps backwards but then she finds herself at the end of the hall and forced to step aside for someone asking for a way. “Treasure hunting was more of a pirate thing was it not? They had equipment, ships, crews and everything which didn’t mean it made it easier or anything just that they were prepared and didn’t have any buildings or transports running everywhere to stop them from getting to their treasures.”

She actually would have loved to fill him in on the questions he was asking, but there was only one thing she knew for sure. The rest though? Kind of a mystery, they’d get a hint on her phone each time they approached a hot spot, which reminded her that this sounded a lot like the infamous Pokemon Go. Except that it wasn’t that accessible everywhere whereas this is just a bit of fun that is locally doable because the map is already drawn and there was only one treasure to find. “Well, last time I did this I literally found myself in a train for Daejeon,  I can assure you it won’t take us out of South Korea but I cannot say we won’t find ourselves let’s say in Busan in the next few hours, so you got any money on you? You better have some, I’m not going to be stuck paying for two each time we need to hop in something. Okay, I wouldn’t mind actually, not really, but still that’d be low, that’s irresponsible, who walks around without money in this world?” 

#aniimvs #( catch me.if you can )

[ehontee]

rewrote her bio! because i can, and it’s shorter and most likely easier to read as well if anyone ever want to dig in. 

#( updates. ) #( i am gonna get ready to sleep now )

[ehontee]

#( resume. ) #( aka the jobs she's done in her life and the things she's done in these jobs that ofc are not all on her cv come on ) #( pretty to see.hard to catch )

[ehontee]

[ meet the muse. ]

Fill in about your muse:

➥ What is your character’s full name?: lee haeri ➥ When were they born?: seoul, south korea ➥ What are their parent’s names?: kim mina & lee jaehan ➥ Do they have any brothers or sisters?: three brothers.  ➥ What kind of eyes do they have?: brown. glasses. lenses. bad close eyesight. ➥ What kind of hair do they have?: shoulder length like above it, curled, middle part, black, jet black. ➥ What is their complexion like?: fair skinned if she misses the sun for a bit, but she tans! ➥ What body type are they?: thin, toning thighs, fit. petite. ➥ What is listening to their voice like?: if bubble gum could talk that’s how her voice would be like. that’s actually a good comparison wth. ➥ What do they hate most about themselves?: nothing what.  ➥ Do they have a favorite quote?: 'i’ll do what i want.’ ➥ What sort of music do they enjoy?: rock, pop rock, indie, acoustic. ➥ Have/would they ever cheat(ed) on a partner?: no to both. ➥ Have they been cheated on by a partner?: who would try???? ➥ Have they ever lost someone close to them?: probably. ➥ What is their favorite sound?: snow sinking under her feet during winter. ➥ Are they judgmental of others?: depends. ➥ Have they ever been drunk?: maybe. yes. probably not willingly. ➥ What are they like when they stay up all night?: 'woke’ okay serious note, don’t think she’s any different, maybe a bit more sarcastic than usual. ➥ Have they ever been arrested?: yeah a lot. but never for too long. ➥ What evokes strong memories for them?: cupcakes. ➥ What do they do on rainy days?: stay in, sleep, game. ➥ What religion are they?: catholic ( fake ) ➥ What word do they overuse the most?: dude. ➥ What do they wear to bed?: shorts and a sweater. ➥ Do they have any tattoos or piercings?: tattoos yes. regular piercings. not fond of them. ➥ What type of clothing are they most comfortable in?: baggy, not too tight, feel good, vintage. ➥ What is their most disliked food?: lasagna. ➥ Do they have any enemies?: probably. ok yes. ➥ What does their writing look like?: very rushed and round, but also depends in which language she’s writing. her hangul is all over the place because she’s used to the english way of writing ( that’s a lie it’s just her excuse ) and her katakana/kanji/hiragana are perfect.  ➥ What disgusts them?: jaesun’spetnames blood. no joke, it was a hard time whenever she went to get tattooed. but she went anyways.

#( profile. )

[ehontee]

let’s just go ahead and assume everytime she says something like dude, what the hell, man, she’s saying it in english. a lot of her cursing is also in english or in japanese. i am going to start italicizing/bolding things now though. somehow forget that some things aren’t clear until you make it clear sorry, so there!

#( hc. ) #( fits there i think )

[ehontee]

@soldierseoul : 

Eyebrows raised in both, curiosity and confusion, brown orbs glued on them. Words he did not understand was leaving their words, words he couldn’t keep a track of. Was she swearing? insulting him? flattering him? By the way her voice raised in volume, it didn’t seem like she was complimenting him, trying to boost his ego, flattering him. No. “Mind speaking in a language I understand?”, He asked, in his cold and serious voice with a calm expression framing his features. other than english and korean Charles did not bother with another language. mainly because instead of going to school like other people, he spent his childhood doing other things. And with powers like his, he did not have to worry about his future. or worry about money. if there was something he wanted, he would take it with force. “And slow down a bit, yeah? it’s hard to keep up with the things you say if you talk in such a pace.”

“Did I slip? I totally slipped didn’t I? I totally thought I stopped doing that but--shit, man it’s harder than I thought, or maybe it’s because I’ve been listening to so many things in Japanese lately, and then switching back and forth between that and Korean and English, like it’s hard alright. Though, do you even get it?” Does he? She’s sure in the middle of all of that she’s probably slipped again. It comes with the exhaustion, there are a lot of things happening during the half of the first semester and then there’s going to be the end of it and then there’s going to be the second one and Haeri’s pretty sure she’s not ready for any of this shit. Not anymore. Isn’t she too old to be going under so much pressure at once? “How many languages do you speak? Just out of curiosity of course.” Also to maybe get her mind off the running and crashing train that’s happening inside her head right now. The cold drink she quickly reaches for before it loses all its cool and turns into nothing but water with no real juice in it might be helpful as well. Which proves to be a right assumption when she finds her shoulders falling from their line with the first sip. 

#soldierseoul #( catch me.if you can ) #( italics : english #italics and bold : japanese ) #( thank you for letting me pick this up after so long *^* )

[ehontee]

Her hold is short lived, not because she wouldn’t want to let it last, but it would be a bit difficult to try to find her steps and pull Minnie along with her. She’s all for affection and all but practicability is also something that has to be considered all the time. Emotions cannot just run rampant all the time, do they even run rampant? It’s where her mind takes her when she ponders on the question of if she’s ever felt that way. It is kind of worrying that Minnie sometimes sprout these things like she’s hiding, but not really. Just barely peeling as if she thinks the world will dash n full force if she opens up and swallow her whole. 

Haeri’s gaze seems shy when she glances up at her from where she’s slowing her pace a little. It’s hard to think and do anything else at the speed she’s used to. It’s why she likes jogging, no, more like it’s why she started jogging. She remembered always forgetting everything whenever she had to run in Gym class. She remembers not even knowing what she’d lacked, or thinking of what could have gone differently if she had been good enough to be here where she was one percent out of a ninety-nine who shared the same kin. It’s not as if she was singled out for that, she just didn’t like cliques. They tried to fit her in the geek squad, then the nerd part, then the geniuses, then the literary club, then the technology side but Haeri had kept to herself. The only time she’d felt like none of these mattered and maybe she did belong to their world was when she was running because she’d stop thinking or feeling. She’s not good at feeling, it’s where she lands.

“I don’t think about that.” Her answer is uncharacteristically curt because this all she’s willing to let out clearly, without any hidden intent, no need to mask how she feels, she just doesn’t think about being hopeless. If Haeri had to stop for a second in her own mind to see if she felt lost then she felt she would be swallowed whole. It’d wrap itself around her life and not let her have a second to let go of it. She doesn’t linger because she makes sure to lay it out as if she’s an open book, that way her mind stays at piece. Tricked into believing that it is honest with itself. 

“But it’s kind of a waste if you weren’t guilty but you end up feeling guilty anyways, I think your emotions should reflect what you know is true, wouldn’t say what you think is true, but sometimes you just know things. And letting other things influence what you know for sure is never going to actually bring anything good. Something like, you should trust more in your own defense and not let all the poking get through it. Because then, it’ll show. It’ll make them push further and further, that’s how interrogating works. You’re guilty until they don’t have enough proof to lock you up. The proof itself is physical evidence but when they don’t have that, it’s your emotional state.” There’s a pause, a breath in and out before she’s letting her gaze fall vacant for where it’s trying to tie her words to something, to where it was supposed to go, “So if you feel guilty, they’ll feel that you’re guilty. It won’t matter why you feel guilty, you just are. They’re right and they win.”

For a moment she contemplates her words, unable to digest them because contextually they made no sense to her. Abstract ideals was something she couldn’t quite grasp as of late – before her enlistment in the home she was very good at internal musings and piecing together concepts that’d make sense. Nowadays, words fall right at her ear and the frustration of being, for lack of better word, dumb, would paint her features into something unpleasant. For Haeri’s sake, she simply nods and feigns affirmation. 

Art was her favorite subject. They gather the patients around, give them broken crayons, dull pencils, and plain paper as their canvas. They are not allowed any markers or paint, the ladder because of an incident which involved someone blinding themselves because they could not bare to live another moment looking at stark white walls until death. They wanted, no, needed color. An inkling of association has her thinking of someone who once ate paint for happiness. Can’t remember who, though. She shrugs off the thought. 

Careful as to not ruin any clothing, she happily smothers her clean face to the other’s side, keeping their leisurely pace while doing so. Her heart warms at the notion. 

“Thank you. I owe you one. I can’t get caught by the police. If I do, I’ll never come back.” She says this definitively, as if she knew just what they’d do to her as soon as she’s held captive. Still considered a minor, she supposed they’d reach out to any nonexistent family, whatever is left of them anyway, only to be met with disconnected lines and wrong numbers. Then they’d restart her case, find her guilty, and – 

“I didn’t do it, you know,” she says this under her breath. “They keep saying I did, but I didn’t. But my brain, it feels guilty, so it makes sure I feel that way too.” Her gaze lifts to meet Haeri’s. “Have you ever felt that way, too? Hopeless in your own mind, or something?” 

#lostambition #( catch me.if you can )

[ehontee]

                                                             R U N A W A Y S. it’s nothing but a building, is it not? she vandalized it too. she put her mark on it and then invited others to come and do the same. then she started wandering inside, day after day. she’d sleep in some of the rooms. wake up later on with nothing but complaints about the poor state she’d find herself in afterwards. but it was a shelter, for when she got too tired for the nights shifts and when she quit yet another job. when she remembered she couldn’t go back home because she’d left and she wasn’t ready to go back. when she still thought being home meant failure, that she was giving in. conforming. when she hated that giving in meant that she was losing. letting a part of herself slip, self betrayal. it’s also the only condition she needed approved before she could feel as if she had a grip still. on her own reality, on who she is no matter how blurry and shaken. it’s nothing but a building, built on a lost identity. 

#( runaways. ) #( just some visual because i have time and me and photoshop are besties sometimes )

[ehontee]

( msg ) you know that for a fact? what are the statistics like? who said so? what are the factors that prove this isn’t a lie? where are the sources, the living proof of this fact? you can’t just say fact and let it be well not with me anyways you gotta provide.  ( msg ) aren’t there all kind of things that animals can do that humans can’t though. not just birds.  ( msg ) i don’t over-complicate! i analyse, i think, i work around things over and over again even if most of the time i say them while i am working on them but aka i am details oriented. 

Chances are if he could see her face right now, he’d notice that she’s nothing if slightly childishly making faces down at the term itself. It’s not an insult, she takes no offense to it whatsoever, she’s been called worse it’s a reality. This is nothing if mild compared to what she’s heard before, coming from herself, or people she’d let close enough to distinguish every little piece of herself. Somehow, the more they peel, the more they undo, the less she starts caring about the jolts of her heart at the slightest chance of a discard. For one flaw, judgement installs itself, for two flaws distance casually starts slipping in between awkward laughter and encounters. There’s never a time for a third because by then she’s unloaded all that she has and said better be done with it rather than wait for the torture of seeing it get to the finish line. 

( msg ) dude. yes. i asked this. i did. right? if i did you gotta tell it means i wanna know. wouldn’t ask if not, right?? ( msg ) i feel like i have accomplished something when you agree with me!!! is this the part where i get a star as a reward??? ( msg ) i never ever got a reward in school because my teachers and i never end up on the same page, meaning they can’t teach me and i can’t teach them so we’re kind of stuck hating each other. why can’t they just agree with one thing, even just one single thing will shut me up. i think. 

[ text: Haeri ] Men are more likely to be colorblind than women are, this is a fact. It’s also a fact that birds can see more colors than humans can overall, such as infrared. [ text: Haeri ] Did anyone every tell you that you over-complicate things?

Dare he say it, Sehun was a bit astounded to have found someone that he of all people could say over-complicated things. He didn’t feel that he was like Haeri, but he felt that he provided a good way to look at all options in a much more organized fashion. Haeri was too hectic! It seemed to Sehun that even her teasing was complicated… At least his parents would be proud of him for being organized.

[ text: Haeri ] Do you really want to know what I do when you send a lot of messages at once? [ text: Haeri ] Emotional and mental risks are rather dangerous though, aren’t they? Can’t physical risks cause emotions and your mentality to go askew? I would think that, in the end, is the scarier result. [ text: Haeri ] I don’t share my emotional risks, they are private. You can bet that I take more risks than I had prior, which considered an attribute of a man. I suppose, if you wanted an answer to what you said before, being a man is an attitude and demeanor over what we believe to be a woman, which is still connected to her body. I hadn’t thought of that before, but I guess if I were to evaluate that it seems, based off what you said, to be the case.

#iso2108 #( catch me.if you can )

[ehontee]

“you know what they say about kids who always mention their parents whenever something they don’t like pop in a conversation?” there’s no such a thing as that existing in this world, not really, but haeri will be damned if she doesn’t take any opportunities to voice her opinion like it’s a general concept itself. as if kihyun himself should know this, because the thought has crossed her mind and be it to tease him about it further more, push the knife close to the wound as she knows she’s been taunted the same countless times. haerim wasn’t always the nice little brother he is now, nor was jaemin the perfect older brother everyday, every time. 

there are just some times when haeri knew she pushed and tugged until they eventually had to slap her own words right back in her face. those were painful moments. very painful. she’d like to never remember them if possible, but they say the most marking wounds are the ones who stick to your skin and scar you to the point that you can never get rid of them. or maybe she made that up. like shes about to make this thing up as well, “you’ve got parental issues, i would know, i whine a lot when people sound like my mom and i have got mom issues, i mean big mom issues you know, the kind that probably makes me look like you when i am whining, that look that most certainly will never get you someone like your little tiny princess you know, even if she isn’t a catch herself.” 

she’s lost herself among her words and thoughts and the usual derailing. the usual, so there is no actual need to pay attention or try to straighten them out. there’s no use to mask anything around kihyun is what, he might as well be as disheveled with his speech as she was, so he had to not care as much as other people usually did. even if e did, she could careless actually. did she even care that other people minded her speech pattern? sometimes. maybe depending on who she is talking with. when and where. and if she hasn’t had any sugar while holding the conversation itself. 

she’s sure though as her mind wanders back to his words that he’s expecting something, something very haeri like which is why she surely aims to deliver when she opens her mouth again. there’s a quirk of her lips, it’s furtive, gone, as if it’d never been there, blink and you miss it before she’s titling her head. “because you want to die? simple as that? anything wrong with wanting to die? we all feel that sometimes, dramatically, really, truthfully, certainly, doubtfully, i mean if that’s your thing then do it, go ahead and forget the gun so you can get stabbed, only the afterlife will judge you, me? i don’t care, it’s your life. your skills that you literally decided to totally drop and your brain that you forgot existed or something like that, i mena if you have a brain and you don't want to use it or let it assimilate information that might be helpful then be my guest don’t.” a pause, short lived as she raises the volume of her voice, “don’t! doooon’t! don’t, don’t, don’t!”

her leg is quick to add itself to the childish melody of her tone, mainly by kicking his side and wishing that he’d most likely roll off the bed--her bed--and land hard enough that she’d feel better about this little revenge. “also no, i don’t play pokemon, i watch it. i did try it once though, because these kids we were doing a charity for were really into it, but the table cards ones, it was pretty fun, that was new, no lit screen just, you know, traditional cards tables. they were pretty smart about it too, i think i got all my cards stolen. stolen because they were actually all cheating and i couldn’t say anything because my mom would kill me for humiliating her at a big event which is fine, they’re kids, or something. not like my pride matters. at all. it doesn’t.” a conviction that sounds like it’s meant at herself if given how the memory has her typing a bit more roughly on her keyboard. “but yeah that’s the idea actually, i suppose, gotta know all the weaknesses and all the strengths kinda that too.” 

if there’s one thing kihyun would like to avoid with every fiber of his being, it’s a lecture. even more than an ego he’d like to refrain from any teachings remotely similar to those his parents deal in. sure they’re curators but the marketing techniques are second-nature to them or else they wouldn’t have acquired such a platform as they have now. plus anything involving pricey items and something someone is willing to pay for half the size of a house? he’s sure business is somewhere in there. contrary to haeri, it was the product of decent upbringing because if his parents had an ounce of artistic ability in them they wouldn’t treat it as tight-lipped as they did. that’s where he came in or rather where he’s supposed to come in.

kihyun’s growth as an artist was supposed to add to the dry and rather neutral nature of their dealings. he was supposed to provide the empathetic sentiment needed in their work. that aside he was supposed to be the ace in the hole when it came to business. the genes didn’t exactly flow down the pool to him and everyone knows why, no one says it. kihyun had the brain and understanding for the concepts and networking of business and marketing he just vehemently refused it. it’s why when haeri so much as mentions the topic he starts groaning and sprawling out over the bed, denial written in the acts he used to use on his parents.

it didn’t work for them and he knows it won’t work for her. that won’t stop him from voicing his dislike and it certainly won’t stop him from pretending like he’s listening. just as he can’t turn off his mind he can’t turn off the need to keep it moving and whether this lecture is welcome or not he’s listening. 

“I just wanted a game I didn’t know dealing with you would be like dealing with my parents.” there’s bitterness in his tone. it’s because he has the same issue with them. when he comes with a proposal he always has to think four steps ahead and every avenue down the road if he wants to win. quite frankly it’s tiring and he’s rather zig-zag his way through. he was clever and intellectual but he relied on his way with words more. his parents didn’t have te time to keep up with him, and when they did he was never around. he got tired of the clauses that came with his words, but he forgets haeri is cut from a similar cloth, more finely than him.

“I thought of the good and bad points honestly, I just forgot all about my Hwaorang figure.” truthfully he knew it wouldn’t be as simply as waltzing in and requesting the game for his troubles. haeri wasn’t so nice that she’d simply give it to him. everything was a lesson. kihyun was still young and in terms of everything she was his superior, his mentor. he just hated the effort. he gets spent a little too quickly. “yeah yeah I know I have to make sure to remember all avenues before even going forward that’s like immediate defeat right? going on without having knowledge of every step your opponent would take is battle suicide but….who goes to war with the intent to bring both down? I mean if I know someone wills tab me a bunch of times why not bring a gun? why not get rid of the sword first? why give them the chance to stab me?”

he’s about to enter another lecture he can feel it. the good thing about this is haeri is probably the only one he’d take lectures from. or engage in discussion with because look he’s not done.

“you’ve played separately as each class? so if we’re speaking hypothetically, like in pokemon right? you’ve played pokemon right? in pokemon you get three starters and most people pick water or grass because their first gym is a rock gym, but you play the game three times with all the different types? just to get the experience? or to get the experience of each class? are you serious? take fate stay night right? you pick saber because saber is strongest in combat and has the best phantasm mana wise? that’s the idea anyway, but you’re saying you’d try out each class, lancer and such even if you knew one would advantageous?” 

#yeolkeot #( catch me.if you can ) #( they have an 'i tolerate you because we can never stay focused while we're talking' kind of rs duh )

[ehontee]

lesson one.

self-portrait. easy as pie. take a pencil, no brush allowed, no paints allowed. just a pencil or a pen but beware of the flaws in the inability of editing, erasing. you know what he then said, a pen will be mandatory. he wants her to stop undoing everything and then not doing anything because she’s undone so much that she’s lost the will to finish the canvas. self-portrait haeri, you take a pen, you draw. but you don’t draw just anything. ink me who you think you are.

then he had the audacity of telling her that because he knew it was going to be impossible, he was making this a timeless homework.

it’s been a year. 

#( lessons. ) #( just you know working my way to getting to what i owe slowly as usual )

[ehontee]

sessions.

the first time goes a little bit like this. 

“what was it like?”  “what was what like? precisely? like, isn’t this supposed to be some sort of revealing moment, with a precise goal, precise questions? nail me with the truth or something? is this supposed to hold cryptic notes? do i need to read in between the lines? what was what like?”

he looks so calm, haeri thinks wen she’s done. calmer than her last therapist after she’d started talking at least. the woman had looked like she was ready to power through this whether haeri wanted to obey or not. him though? he just sat and listened and said literally nothing after her first few words so she frowned. did she imagine herself at twenty-one, sitting in a therapist office, sleep deprived, with work piling up and no will at all to even study what she really loved to do? no, definitely not. 

“okay so it was kind of hard, being sent away was already a blow, then i come back and it’s like nothing changed. have you ever met a stray cat? i feel like a stray cat sometimes. just you know, wandering aimlessly in life, what a joy. a failure of not only society but the entire family, actually no, jaemin covers that field. me? me? i don’t even know what i cover and mom already wants me in tutus and heels and make up and i don’t even know where i stand. i mean? what? i mean, really, what? i am a girl, i know, i am like twenty-one, so a woman, or something. she keeps saying it, it’s true, kind of. but i hate it, i hate being a girl or woman, or whatever the fuck it is this world thinks i should be.” 

she falls silent then and stays it until it’s time to leave and he never, not even once tries to stop her when she opens her notebook and starts doodling. it’s quiet, it’s peaceful. when she leaves, he moves with her. adjusts his glasses. she looks him up and down, from the top of his grey but very few hair down to the shine of his shoes. he assesses her too. haeri hates it, she seriously hates it. 

#( sessions. )

[ehontee]

                                     HAIR                                          → MIDDLE PART , SHOULDERS LENGTH                                      HAIR COLOR                                           → BLACK-ISH?                                      LOCATIONS                                           → STUDIO/HOME/JAESUN’S/JO’S                                      GAMES                                           → BLADE&SOUL , TERA ( WIP. ) , WAR OF THE IMMORTALS ( WIP. )                                      OCCUPATIONS                                           → TUTORED/MENTORED , STILL DRAWING/PAINTING                                       MOTTO                                           → ‘LET’S ALWAYS FORGET TO SLEEP.’

#( currently. )