ethaninthewilde

[ethaninthewilde]

whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3

[ethaninthewilde]

hello character who is desperate to be a good person; i want to play a game. in front of you is the one person you will never be able to save. you have the rest of your life to make peace with this. there are no defined repercussions if you fail, but we both know you're going to attempt to win regardless. your time starts now

[ethaninthewilde]

- on mothers

lady bird/ @death-born-aphrodite/ everything, everywhere, all at once/ rupi kaur/ unknown/ maia baia/ your best american girl- mitski/ lady bird/ unknown/ @inkskinned

[ethaninthewilde]

KILL ME IF IT'S WORTH IT; ON FLESH.

silas denver melvin // ethel cain // george bataille // blythe baird // margaret atwood // nicole homer // emily palermo.

[ethaninthewilde]

I think I was just born with something dark and ugly inside of me. Always waiting to be found out.

planetarium - adrienne rich/@twoheadedfawnn/ugly, bitter, and true - suzanne rivecca/a burning hill - mitski/a hora da estrela- clarice lispector/ @100493503004422/sharp objects - gillian flynn

[ethaninthewilde]

she has a flower for you!

[ethaninthewilde]

Made french against his will and got hit with the inexcapable artistic miséri and nòstalgia

[ethaninthewilde]

everyone was right when they said the time in between getting your top surgery date and having the actual surgery is hell🧍‍♂️

[ethaninthewilde]

i was so fucking sad when i was 14 and now when i fold my laundry or see a pool of moonlight on the floor of my bedroom i know that miracles exist. i see love in everything. love sees everything in me too

[ethaninthewilde]

Many people don't know how to react when someone is having a seizure, so I'll give you the basics guys:

If you can catch the person before they hit the ground that would be amazing but realistically that doesn't happen so, when they're on the floor make room for them. Move everything that they can hurt against, if you have a jacket or something gently put it under their head. Put them on their side so if they vomit or drool there's no chance of chocking, have in mind that it isn't easy to do it but it's important

If they are wearing glasses take them off and if they have a belt or a scarf loose it up (or whatever the right term is)

Count the time and call an ambulance, "normal" seizures are between 2 and 5/7 minutes long, if it goes on for more than that and you haven't called an ambulance yet (for whatever reason) do it, the probabilities for having brain damage goes up after 10 min

After the seizure, you have to check if they're breathing correctly and when the person regains consciousness, of course, will be a little confused so don't bomb them with question just check if they know where they are, their name (the basics) and wait for them to be fully recovered

Now, it's also very important to know what you SHOULDN'T do:

Never, and I want to make this very clear, NEVER PUT ANYTHING IN THEIR MOUTH! They won't choke with their tongue but they can chew your fucking finger beyond recognition or choke with what you put in their mouth.

Do not hold them or try to stop the movements, you can hurt the person because the amount of force you have to make to avoid it's a lot

And that's all! It's not that complicated but it can be hard to remain calm when it happens so I hope that knowing how to react can help!

[ethaninthewilde]

[to myself] you are allowed to use mobility aids. you are allowed to use sensory aids. you are allowed to use mobility aids. you are allowed to use aids to make your life easier. there is not a "level" of disabled you have to be be to use aids. you are allowed, you are allowed, you are allowed.

[to myself] you are not weak for using aids. it does not mean you are not trying. there is no pride in suffering. there is no shame in using help. you are allowed to make your life easier. you are allowed, you are allowed, you are allowed.

#reminder bc i have been feelin this #hospital yesterday #again and again and again #and i am TRYING to stay positive but when it gets too late and i am alone i think my whole life is crumbling #but its fine we keep going #there is always another sunrise #always another poem #always another coffee #no matter how much it hurts #to make it worth living

[ethaninthewilde]

I love them (and particularly him) Your Honor

[ethaninthewilde]

I think the AIDs quilt may be the most harrowing image of the AIDs Crisis there is to me, just seeing pictures of it sends shivers down my spine. Every single tile was a life that was taken too early by an apathetic world and yet there were people who cared enough for them to make the quilt to carry on their memory. It is honestly one of the most beautiful and meaningful pieces of art of the last 50 years to me

[ethaninthewilde]

Hi 💐 I adore your poetry and I had a question. How would you suggest to improve poetry? I write and I've posted here as well but never received any proper feedback which I can use. Tips?

hello!!! this is so sweet, thank u for the support and i'm so honored u'd want my advice.

first of all, im gonna say poetry is a very individual thing, and what works for one person doesn't work for others. also, if u'd like me to critique specific works, i could probably be more thorough and i am so happy to do so, but that's obviously entitely up to u.

that being said, here's some things i've learned.

1. don't write what you think people will like, write what works in ur brain. this doesn't mean it has to be smth u have directly experienced, but more so an emphasis on having smth that matters to u more than smth u think others will care abt. i've found that my poems that have received the most love are the ones i thought "this is so niche and specific, i have no idea if anyone will relate to this or like this at all." as cheesy as it sounds, being honest in whatever way that works for u rlly is best

2. this is actually a rule i believe i heard abt comedy, but i find it rings very true of poetry as well: combine the specific w the broad. there are certain points of humanity i think are shown pretty much across the board. finding the very exact and nitty gritty feelings and thoughts and expressing that is usually what makes a great poem. to give an example, all of us are lonely sometimes. what makes writing abt it interesting could be writing smth like feeling lonely when u go to the grocery store, wishing u had someone to grab something from the top shelf for u and hold ur hand in the dairy aisle.

3. this is more personal preference, but i like the opening and closing lines to kinda form a circle. i don't know how to explain this exactly, but i like it all kinda come back to this point, not necessarily in words but more so in theme. i especially like when something's changed, and the same idea now has new nuance. a good example of this from my works would be in the world is ending. i began with the sentiment "there's nothing i can do about it" and ended with "it will be enough" both involve a lack of control, but where it began with helplessness, it ended with acceptance.

4. experiment!! try so many cool things!!! change up spacing and structures! try new words and phrases! use repitition! use long lines, use short phrases! the best way to find your specific writing niche is through trial and error.

5. similarly, in terms of gaining skill in writing poetry, quantity over quality. the best way to write a poem u love is to write a hundred u think are garbage. eventually u learn what works for u, but more than that, practice really does make perfect. or at least better. i started off writing the cringiest, most angsty and awful poems u can imagine. since u already have been writing and posting, u've already started this. but don't let urself get so frustrated u stop writing. writing is so beautiful and healing and wonderful. if u love it, keep it in ur heart forever and don't let it go.

this has already been so long so i think im gonna stop there. i hope this was helpful, i am by no means an expert and i am sure none of this is new advice. i bet ur writing is rlly cool!! and regardless, we all have smth worth saying, and im proud of u for saying it.

be warm and well fed

[ethaninthewilde]

grief's ongoing to-do list by judas h.

[ethaninthewilde]

THE WORLD IS ENDING by judas h.

[ethaninthewilde]

i only connect with contemporary poets, the old ones dont talk like i do so i cant see what it is they want to say and when they do say something i can hear i get scared and want to scamper back to the contemporaries, i want to hear someone speak whos seen a submarine squashed to bits and boat stuck in a canal and a car shot into space and knows all about the terrible man that did it and the other terrible man who shot himself into space while all his little minions writhed about on the earths surface below him and maybe they've watched that film about cars and sex no not that one the french one that i like better and maybe they've read that haiku by Masaoka Shiki about how the trains smoke curls around the leaves and can agree with everyone that it was interesting how mundane and modern that was and isnt that lovely and isn't it funny how analogue that seems now, how much closer to nature, when it was so brand new at the time and there are so many things to think about now that i have only had time to list all the ways there are to get around the world without touching any of it and i haven't even had time to mentioned planes and how they tend to crash and burn and someone who wrote a poem all the way back then is too far away in time to get to me now but still they want to talk to me and they've gotten all the way here without stepping foot onto any of that and there's no vehicle that can travel that far without catastrophic failure. i've listed them all.