euthanizeher

[euthanizeher]

Now let’s be clear for a sec:

Do you think your seeking will end ? Like do you ?

The mistakes I made was reading was too much and thinking I’ll find the answer while reading or I must read more to understand it and obtain more and more ! It became a habit , and I stopped it , stop thinking i have to read more to become “realized” like RW , Rupert or Ko and started relying on myself because that’s what it’s all about SELF

Stop this ! Don’t waste your time on searching when the answer is right here

Take a breath and realize you are THE ANSWER

[euthanizeher]

"how did you find out i didn't do it?" "i didn't, i just realized i already knew."

#diary. #+txt #watching titanic and rose's line really stuck with me.

[euthanizeher]

this is your official permission to make your f/o completely obsessed with you, yandere for you, or otherwise absolutely down bad for you. you're welcome

#selfship.

[euthanizeher]

by Dawa 🎑 + translation

[euthanizeher]

a lot of people are coming from that ask i sent koda. it was ballsy of me to do it off of anonymous, but i didn't care it wasn't as if i was spreading rumors or lies. everyone was talking about their experiences so i thought why not. 乁{°〰°}ㄏ i'm well aware that there are what you would call "dickriders" of the people i mentioned. one thing i feel bad about though, are the hate messages in koda's inbox because of my ask.

#diary. #+txt #i hated drama but after realizing they're all pointless feelings and there's no right or wrong

[euthanizeher]

decided to keep my old posts up since i think they're cute and there's some merit to them, also for nostalgia purposes.

#diary. #+txt #it's fun to look back and think about where my mind was. the things i “learned” where limiting

[euthanizeher]

I listened to some explanations by Rupert Spira and suddenly a few things clicked completely into place.

He talked about Mary dreaming that she is Jean walking through Paris. The dreamworld is completely in Mary's consciousness, surroundings, characters, everything.

But to experience this dream from first person Mary more or less 'injects' her consiousness into Jean. Rupert calls Jean then 'localized consciousness' and the rest 'non-localized'. But it is is still all the same consciousness.

When Mary wakes this same consciousness localizes as Mary, and the 'real world' is again the same consciousness, but non-localized.

This gave me a handle that I needed to deal with the apparent seperation between my focus as a person and everything around me.

In another talk he mentioned that we learned it all backward. At least in the western worldview, everything we think and learn is based on the principle that matter is real. But there is no such thing as matter. There really isn't, and the stupid thing is that as someone trained in physics: I @#€& know this! What we call solid matter is only a lot of empty space surrounding a few quantum particles (=energy) that flash in and out of existence and are influenced by observation, i.e. consciousness. I've known this for years, heard countless other loa-ers etc. mention this and the true implications only hit me yesterday.

And with these 2 puzzle pieces it suddenly fell into place, I suddenly switched from seeing matter to seeing only consciousness. I was in the grocery store of all places and I must have walked around in a complete daze, just looking at everything and only seeing energy and consciousness, God if you will. Which was me.

It was like becoming lucid in a dream but much more stable. I still saw the same as everyone sees, it didn't start to shimmer or anything but it was like I suddenly realized that it was just a pattern, just energy/consciousness with a form and a name. I had the feeling if wanted I could just stick my arm through the wall even though it still looked as solid as ever. Didn't try it though, just like you don't fall through every floor in a dream I am very grateful that there is a system in place that keeps everything functioning as it does. We call it physics but I now also realize that this is also very much 'made up'. By our own consciousness. Without us even knowing we're doing it. Which makes us truly incredibly powerful and very, very intelligent.

Even though I still feel mostly the person I always was, function in the world the way I always did, I can now switch perspectives in the blink of an eye.

If this is enlightenment it is at the same time amazing and peaceful and incredibly liberating and on the other hand the most normal thing in the world. More like a 'duh'- feeling, like how could I ever have believed/seen otherwise. No fanfares, more like finding something wonderful in your attic again that was always there but that you had completely forgotten about.

And I also know that this is just another step on the journey, there is much more to come.

If anyone is interested, these were the talks I listened to:

[euthanizeher]

(this post was SOOO long initially and i deleted it all, because no matter how much i spoke it just wasn't enough for me. LOL.)

thanks to all the friends i've made. i may not have been as popular as some other blogs on here, but i still loved our wonderful community.

i love you all. see ya, and go within!

#+txt #goodbye post? i dunno! but i know im going beyond #...beyond. heh (sony release that movie already) #i thought i'd be here for months honestly. because everyone tells us “realization” takes years. #i may come back to talk about my experiences. maybe.

[euthanizeher]

"Ego"

This is the very last time we're saying the ego is not real. Ego-related asks are increasing and I have no idea why.

What's an "Ego"? -> collection of thoughts. -> what are thoughts made of? Nothing -> thoughts come and go -> impermanent -> do not exist -> meaningless & not real. Thoughts can be dropped instantly. They have no power over anyone. You just notice them.

The way the majority of you is talking about an "ego" it seems to me as if you WANT & CHOOSE it to be "real" in your own finite world. You can do that but what are you trying to achieve? "Change an ego"? How can that happen if it is nothing?

Why are you obsessed with making things hard and complicated? Why can't it be simple and easy? Do you want & choose to go in circles for decades? Do you want & choose to fight the made up Thing you call an "ego" forever?

If you want to do all that, do it. I couldn't care less. You can do whatever you want. No one is stopping you. I certainly am not going to stop you, your Will is your Will.

Some of you love feeling sorry for yourself, making up one reason after another why something is not working. Be honest to yourself, don't you see it?

Chen

[euthanizeher]

Resident evil sounds scary 😣 i haven't planning on shifting honestly, i am more focused o being lately, realize myself and stuff like that, i still find quite difficukt to disregard this doubts and mind as not mine, but i've been doing great i believe. Hope you shift soon 🫶🫶

it does, doesn't it? i'm actually focusing more on the characters than the actual outbreak though! i believe in you too, and you can do both but i understand wanting to take it one step at a time.

really just ask yourself who's doubting? who's fearing?

#asks ౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆

[euthanizeher]

my thirst for knowledge has pretty much ended. i'll admit these past couple of days i'd come on here and read every post, check in every couple of minutes but i'm not interested anymore. it's all just the same stuff, because there really isn't anything new to talk about.

just be really means JUST BE.

#diary.

[euthanizeher]

You have put so much energy into building a prison for yourself. Now spend as much on demolishing it. In fact, demolition is easy, for the false dissolves when it is discovered.

- Nisargadatta Maharaj

[euthanizeher]

uummfff trying to decide on a faceclaim for my dr is conflicting LOL, yet sooo fun.

#diary. #reality shifting.

[euthanizeher]

i know it's in my pinned but i don't consider myself a student anymore. there isn't much (or anything...) to learn.

initially i came in here thinking this was going to be a helluva journey, long and tedious with its ups and downs. but it's not, everything is so simple, effortless.

#diary.

[euthanizeher]

a general note to the anons in my inbox:

i'm not mad at anons for asking repetitive questions. we crave knowledge, answers — to understand. but it's unfortunate that some people can't see that sitting with their questions and pondering on it alone would help them so much more than desperately asking every blog out there.

if you don't trust yourself for once, you'll always be the one seeking. you think more answers will lead to "enlightenment" but it'll just cause you to fall deeper down into the abyss. you'll become frustrated, and "quit", and continue living life the way you do. miserable.

read whatever posts you need to and then go within. leave. that's all! ૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩

#for anons. #non dualism. #lottie's advice.

[euthanizeher]

what teachers say about dreams being just as real as real life is true. sure i believed them before, but actually experiencing a dream that seemed more real than life itself last night solidified my belief. i don't have lucid dreams, i don't know what it feels like and even though this feeling lasted a couple of minutes it was INSANE.

it's interesting too, because 3 years ago i had a little lucid dream phase where i'd tirelessly try new methods to experience LD, it never worked.

now here i am doing everything that you "shouldn't" do (i.e. staying up really late, sleeping with the tv on, taking in a bunch of blue light before going to sleep, etc etc...) yet i was able to experience this? get rid of all silly limitations, they're here to make things harder and aren't helping anyone. trust me.

#diary. #my first lucid dream.

[euthanizeher]

practise disappearing