fadingmuse

[fadingmuse]

Story Time!

It's been a while so I'm gonna give you guys something a little juicy. I've been holding back on this because this moment means a lot to me and I wanted to keep it to myself, plus, he told me to keep it a secret from my friends and other teachers lol. but now, I figured there's no harm in sharing. It's been close to a decade, and my friends still don't know about it anyway.

I've mentioned before that we used to talk a LOT, to the point that we text each other after school. The conversations were always random, we rarely talked about school, mosty music, family, hobbies, literally everything. Aside from him being my (ex) tc, I was glad that there was an adult other than my parents that I could rely on.

One night we were texting as usual. It was maybe around 9pm, and since my sleep schedule was still normal back then, I told him that I was done for the night and about to get some shut-eye. We bid eachother goodnight and that was that.

A couple of minutes later, I heard a notification from my phone. I picked it up and it was from H. I thought it was urgent since we already ended our conversatiom earlier so I instantly opened it.

It was a LONG text. By the tone of the text, I figured that it wasn't meant for me, but the text was loooooong. Like, REALLY long. So I had no idea how he didn't notice who he was texting when he typed all that. At first I contemplated about reading the whole thing, but being curious, I went through with it.

By the time I finished reading it, I was still confused because I understand none of it. I have no idea what he and the other person was talking about. Not a clue. But then H bombarded me with texts saying things like,

"I'm sorry oh god that wasn't meant for you!"

"Did you read it already? Tell me you didn't."

"..Please don't think less of me, I'm sorry."

By then, I was baffled. I mean, what the fuck was I supposed to think?

I told him that it was fine, that I would delete the text if he wanted me to, and that I don't even undersgand what it all means. So there's nothing to be worry about.

"You don't understand about any of it?"

"No? Am I supposed to?"

And just like that he opened up to me.

Just a disclaimer, at this stage he was in his 20s. He was still young. I realized that now, but back then? I never given it any thought. I knew that he has a life outside of being a teacher, but I've had view him as what I first knew him as. Mr. H. That's why I was shocked when he told about his 'hobby'.

He (used to) street race. Yep. Street race. The text that he 'accidentally' sent me was of him talking to his friend about the strategic (?) of the next race and such. It's okay if you guys don't believe me because if I were you guys, I would have a hard time believing it too cause what kind of wattpad shit is this?

I didn't know what to think. I mean, this was a whole new side of him. Of course, at my age now, I think it's hot (forgive me). But back then I was horrified, mostly worried. He kept apologizing, begging me not to think less of him, saying that he's still him. Looking back now it wasn't even that big of a deal, but I was a goody 2 shoes back then so I understamd where he was coming from. And he was right, I WAS worried.

I assured him that I won't tell anyone and that I don't think less of him. But I still told him that I don't like him doing it and that I hope he doesn't do this often (lol the AUDACITY). The more shocking development is that he straight up promised that he won't do it again. I mean, I have no idea if he held true to that promise but to this day, it still warms my heart knowing that he cared.

The whole week after that conversation he treated as if I was a flight risk. He kept reaching out to me, staring at me, asking if I still wanna be friends. I had to keep reasurring him that everything was fine. Eventually, he calmed down. In fact, he ended up being more open to me than ever. He used to tell me everything, but after that incident, he tells me EVERYTHING. So I guess it turned out to be a happy accident.

I kind of have a feeling that he actually wanted me to know this side of him. The text he sent me was long as hell, I seriously don't know how he didn't notice my name while he was typing. Plus, I had no idea what he was talking about, he could've just moved on and tell me to forget about it. Why did he choose to explain it to me?

I guess I'll never know.

#teacher crush #tcc #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

ryan's statement, "nobody else on youtube has made tv quality content" is really funny because nowadays, even tv shows with quality content *cough* taskmaster *cough* upload their episodes on youtube for free. i've done some research and it said that they can make up to 1m$ a year from youtube ad revenue.

i know it's not a good comparison, i just find it iffy that's all.

#watcher #taskmaster

[fadingmuse]

he's been on my mind a lot lately. the scene that keeps replaying itself in my head is the one where he actually confessed his feelings for me.

the reason why i rarely talked about it is because even i thought it was a fever dream. back then i was giddy about it, but now? i'm just bewildered.

i seriously don't know what went through that man's head for him to think that it was a good idea. i'm proud of myself for having restraint and act like i didn't hear him, but still, what the fuck? he should've known better. i mean, i was nowhere near graduation ffs.

we were just sitting in silent, weren't even talking! and out of nowhere he whispered those words like a sacred mantra. fucking hell i thought i was about to explode.

he said, 'nevermind' when i said i didn't hear him, and being the child i was, i kept on insisting that he should tell me. though now that that i think about it, i don't know if i actually wanted him to say it again or was just testing his limits. in the end, i'm glad he came to his senses and stood his ground. never spoke a word of it again.

i'm estatic that we didn't cross a line back then. i think i would hate him now if something did happen, cause it shows that he's not that good of a person after all.

but now? if we meet again, after all that've happened? me in my 20s and him in his early 30s?

it's still morally wrong but fucking hell i would. i definitely would.

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

hey guys, is it okay if i use this account to rant about non-tc related things too?

i know some if not most of you follow this acc for the story time 'session', but since i'm not actively part of the community anymore (just graduated college), it's a little hard to update much about tc things now.

but the thing is, i still wanna be active in this acc. i like the people here. seriously, you guys are fun as hell. plus i wanna know about your progress and maybe give some of you guys pointers. and warnings, of course (i've said this many times, know the limit).

i obviously would still be updating stories about H whenever and as much as i could. you don't have to worry about that. i just wanna give you guys a heads up and to let you know that this is still a safe place.

that's all i wanna say, so.. good luck pining over that silver fox! lol.

love ya guys xo

ave.

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

'guilty as sin?' is a banger and definitely should be the new tcc anthem.

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

I was just thinking about you this morning! Your stories are literally as though taken from a book. Which memory is your favorite? Do you have one particular moment you keep replaying in your mind?

Thank you for the kind words!

As for your question, there is one specific moment that i think about every now and then it'll turn into another story time lmaoo.

The gist of it is, I favor the moments where he talks about music. He could go on and on for hours to the point that the school security had to go inside the school to search for me when my ride arrived. Kind of embarassing but at that time I would do anything to spend more time with him lmao.

I'll spill the detail if you want me to? I love sharing about this part of my life. It made me who I am now.

Thanks again for the ask love!

#male teacher crush #tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #tc community

[fadingmuse]

Story time!

Let me start this with an apology because I really am sorry for being MIA for so long. I'll be graduating college this year and am REALLY fucking nervous of what's the next chapter of my life would be like.

So I guess you could see why tumblr was the last thing on my priority list lmao. But thankfully I have a lot of free time in my hands now so I'll probably be here a lot now :)

Now on to the story.

Back then, my school used to held 2 days camping trip every year for us to 'get along with nature,' they said. We didn't mind it because it usually is a lot of fun.

We arrived and did the usual. Got divided into groups, set up our tent, eat, play games, etc. I didn't get to see H during that time, only a glimpse every now and then. Howevere, things eventually got interesting when the moon came to play.

We all gathered around a HUGE camp fire and each of the groups have to perform one by one in front of the whole crowd so it's basically a talent show. Being the lazy ass we were, our group decided to perform a song. It went by quickly, we sang, and I saw H in the crowd grinning and cheering me on. Had an overall wonderful time.

After the talent show, we scrambled and got back to our tent. Me and my friends talked for a while, and then we decided to sleep outside because it was too hot inside the tent. We put a big rug on the grass outside of the tent, got into our sleeping bags, and tried to fall asleep. And if you're wondereing, yes, the teachers were okay with it.

After some time, I realized that the others were asleep. I tried to do the same and just kept my eyes closed. Maybe a minute passed by before I hear a whisper near me saying,

"Ave, I know you're awake."

I opened my eyes and saw H, crouching near my feet, looking at me with that playful smile that I (used to) love. Being the teased that I was I just gave hik a look and shut my eyes again.

"You wanna take a walk and drink some tea with me?"

YES????? I got up so fast I'm pretty sure I had a head rush.

We took a little walk and then sit at this little gazebo where the teachers kept all the food and supplies. He made us some tea and for a while, we just sat there in silent.

"You were amazing back there."

When I tell you I blushed SO hard, thank god it was dark. We went on and chat for more than an hour under the stars. We talked about a lot of things; our family, his career, my future, our passion in music, we even gossiped about some of the people in school lmao. Truly one of the best moments I've ever had.

After a while we decided it was time to go back. By the time we got there, 2 of my friends were actually awake and were having a chat with one of the teachers. I went on to have giggly conversations with my them which ended up being a little too loud, so H and the other teacher told us to try and have a shut eye and decided to stay nearby so they could keep an eye on us.

At times my friends and I would stifled a laughter and H would give me (only me, might I add) a playful scold. At one point, my other friend made a noise and H laughed and said,

"Oh c'mon ave, go to sleep, the sun's coming up."

I was about to yell out that it wasn't me but the other teacher beat me to it. He was trying so hard not to laugh too hard while saying,

"It wasn't even her!"

"Wait, what?"

I ended up falling asleep with a huge grin on my face.

Tbh with you guys, I still can't believe that moments like this actually happened. If I come across a story like this the first thing that I would do is assume it was fake. Yet here I am, reliving it.

#male teacher crush #tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #tc community

[fadingmuse]

So lately, a lot of memories about him suddenly came rushing back into my mind and I have no idea why.

What I DO know is that you guys would go feral if I told you about what happened during a camping trip our school held.

I scrolled down and I've wrote bits and pieces, but I never mentioned the details because the memory of it used to be so blurry.

But now I remember it like it was yesterday so.. tell me if you guys wanna hear about it!

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

Have I told you guys about the time he tried to teached me how to properly tie a tie?

I was talking about it with one of my friends when he overheard us and offered to be the one to teached me. He told me that he wanted to teach me so I could do it to my future husband lmao.

Not only that, what drove me crazy was the fact that he tied it on me.

Not on himself but on me.

We were so fucking close I almost passed out.

I still remember the feeling I felt when he finished tying it and said, "There. I can't imagine how lucky your future husband will be."

..I still have no idea how to tie a proper tie.

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

Working on my thesis has been hell my god

[fadingmuse]

Hey! Miss me?

I know that I've been gone for so long and I'm so sorry :( I've been working on my thesis and it's been exhausting. But the good news is I'm half way there so, yay!

Another good news is that I recently remember a lot of new memories from my time with H soo.. let me know if you want another story time!

xo

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

pls don’t delete this blog :( if it ever gets too much maybe delete the app but keep up the blog still

I'm sorry, this is such a late reply :(

I didn't answer it because I didn't wanna make any promises but I decided to not delete the blog. It basically became my diary and I know I would regret it in the future if I went through with deleting it.

So.. this blog will always be here if you guys need an escape from the real world :)

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

I was reading your blog for a while now while listening some music and dont know exactly why (prob because its a love song) this song went well with the stories you shared. Its Ben Varım by Ayten Alpman. This song is in my mother tongue but maybe you can find an english translation. Tek Başına by the same artist is also an amazing piece. Such a lovely song hope you like it too.

THE WAY I CRIED AFTER HEARING IT AND READING THE TRANSLATION OH MY GOD.

The lyrics AND the music fits out moments so well and now I'm bawling. Thank you so much for the recommendation. I love it s much.

#male teacher crush #tc community #teacher crush community #teacher crush #tcc

[fadingmuse]

Do you still have the hat that he told you to keep? The one with womans in bikini drawing on

I hate myself to this day because of the fact that I threw it away out of spite a couple of years ago. Thank god I still have a picture of it, though I still wish I hadn't let my feelings get thr best of me :(

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

I am telling you Im gonna cry... What a lovely story, history you two have! So sweet so pure🥺 He clearly did more than just liking you. It must have hurt him a lot too. All of those sweet memories... You are sooooo lucky to have them. Sending my greatest wishes to you and I hope everything goes as you wish 🎀

This is so sweet 🥺, thanks a lot for the kind wishes love! Hope it goes back to you too.

Regarding our feelings, I can only hope that he looks at our memories as fondly as I do :)

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

Sorry if you answered this before and dont get me wrong I am just curious, how old is he? Whats the age gap between you and him?

No need to say sorry! you guys can ask me anything you want :)

I don't think I'm comfortable enough to mention our specific age, but our age gap is 12 years. I'm in my 20s rn and he's in his 30s.

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community

[fadingmuse]

How is it going?!!

Hey! Thanks for the ask :)

Personally, I've been doing alright. But regarding the texting thing, there's no update whatsoever. We texted each other once after the first time, but other than that, there's nothing special. We continue to look at each other's status on whatsapp ofc. I just don't want to intrude on his new life cause I don't think I wanna be in it anymore.

Yes there's no doubt I miss him. But the fact that we can still talk each other like we used to without a single awkwardness in the air is closure enough for me. At least I know that there are no hard feelings between us.

Plus, I'm kinda in a relationship rn and it's going pretty well :)

So yeah, I'm sorry if it's not the kind of update that you guys want :( but i'll try my best to remember more memories with him so we could relive it together. We were kind of careless back then so I'm sure there are a lot more crazy events hiding in my brain somewhere.

Love ya!

#tcc #teacher crush #teacher crush community #male teacher crush #tc community