fern-prairie

[fern-prairie]

they said an adult kinnie addicted to carts couldnt write a post that would change the world

[fern-prairie]

[fern-prairie]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[fern-prairie]

@boycottmilk

[fern-prairie]

having sex with your friends is so very normal please stop poisoning the youths minds with shame surrounding hooking up with your friends. especially if you’re gay

#fp calypso

[fern-prairie]

[fern-prairie]

Choker? I hardly know 'er!

Pansy-Leatherwork.com

#fp calypso

[fern-prairie]

i hope yall know im dead serious about universal trans family. normalize trans people greeting each other in public bc of nothing other than both being trans. normalize taking care of one another like brothers and sisters. normalize loving one another unconditionally and treating one another with unconditional positive regard. this community needs to get stronger. every trans person is family. even if i don’t fucking like you i love you like family.

[fern-prairie]

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

#fp calypso #mspfa vibes

[fern-prairie]

YOU NEED TO PISS OUTSIDE MORE NOW. THATS AN ORDER PRIVATE PEEPEE,

well go on faggots, this pee isnt gonna pee itself GET WITH THE FUCKING PROGRAM; THE PEE PROGRAM, OR JUST P. P. FOR SHORT

heres what you gotta do:

pee outside

pee outside

pee outside

#fp calypso #im a dog

[fern-prairie]

#fp calypso

[fern-prairie]

daily reminder that boycotting is not a moral stance but a political strategy, so the whole “there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism” argument is not the gotcha you think it is

you can refer to BDS if you’d like a list of companies to focus your efforts on. you can refer to this website if you’d like to become more conscientious about what you’re buying and check for brands/products to avoid.

*please note that i am a palestinian who has been boycotting my entire life. do not try to explain to me in the tags or reblogs or replies what a targeted boycott is or complain about giving up your comfort for something that you (incorrectly) believe does not make an impact. being quiet is free. exercise your right to remain silent today.

#fp calypso

[fern-prairie]

[fern-prairie]

#fp calypso #i want to bite it and shake it around like im a ratting terrier

[fern-prairie]

im hot and thats whats important

#fp calypso #and we were roommates

[fern-prairie]

#fp calypso

[fern-prairie]

How to be hot online without showing hole

just act insane and weird and creepy