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That checks out in all honestly-

irl alex wants to drink toilet water

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Fuck yeah for gender things

I'm wearing penis pants

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That's nasty

irl alex wants to drink toilet water

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*Eddie Diaz has been added to the 118's A shift group chat*

Eddie: Who was it? Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat again?

Bobby: Firefighter Diaz, language!

Ravi: Yeah, watch your fucking language.

Hen: WHO TAUGHT THE PROBIE THE FUCK WORD? I WANT NAMES.

Buck: The "fuck word" ijbol.

Bobby: Are you serious? You guys use the f word all the time. That's why we have a swear jar!

Chim: Oh my god, he censored it.

Eddie: Say fuck, Bobby.

Buck: C'mon pops, say it. Say fuck.

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epic aro sculpture i did for class

the heart is made out of plastic bags wrapped with tape, so it's squishy ^_^ and the knife is qtips hot glued together. the knife is also removable!

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The woke mob has made Santa gay! Mrs Claus has been replaced with a 5'8 twink named Tony Tinsel

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Eddie: Hey Buck, can I ride you?

Buck, choking: Excuse me?

Eddie: I asked if I could ride you. I’ve ridden Chim before, but he's tired now.

Buck: You did what?

Eddie: Yeah, he let me climb onto his back and ride him around the station.

Buck: OH! You mean a piggyback ride?

Eddie: It's that what is called?

Buck: YES, EDMUNDO, THAT IS WHAT IT’S CALLED!

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Alex. No.

irl alex wants to drink toilet water

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⚧ trans love makes the world go round ⚧

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Situation: Draco after anesthesia

Draco: - Who are you?

Harry: - Don't you recognize me?

D: - No.

H: - Are you sure, Draco?

D: - Draco? As in I'm Draco?

H: - Yes, that's your name.

D: - *laughs with a grunt* LIKE A DRAGON?

H: - *also laughing* Yeah.

D: - *suddenly serious* I LOVE DRAGONS!

H: - You're named after a constellation.

D: - I LOVE CONSTELLATIONS!

H: *laughs out loud*

D: - Hey!

H: - Yeah?

D: - You're so handsome. I would definitely remember you, because you are sooooo handsome. I think you're the most handsome guy I've ever seen.

H: *laughs again*

D: - Do you work here?

H: - No.

D: - Then why are you sitting here?

H: - I'm looking after you.

D: - Oh, that's nice. Do you have a boyfriend?

H: - Yes, I do.

D: - *clearly upset* Damn, that fucking asshole is lucky.

H: - You know who that is?

D: - No. Does he work here?

H: - No, he's admitted here.

D: - *suspiciously narrows his eyes* Soooo?

H: - You're my boyfriend, Draco.

D: *with genuine surprise and admiration* I am?

H: - Yes.

D: *in tears* Oh, my God... How long have we been dating? Do we love each other? Because I think I definitely love you.

H: - *smiles* I do too. Actually, we're married.

D: - WE'RE MARRIED???? *leans back on the bed and starts crying even harder* Jesus, you're not kidding?

H: *laughs* No, Draco.

D: - And how long have we been married???? AND WE HAVE A DRAGON?

H: - *laughs again* We have been married for a very long time. We don't have a dragon, but we do have a dog and a cat.

D: *sobs* I LOVE DOGS AND CATS AND YOU. JESUS, MY LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

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Fuck it.

2000 notes and I sing for you guys.

5000 and I face reveal on Tumblr.

Ain't no way even my moots can do this.

No rules. Complete anarchy.

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If they don't turn off the fucking vacuum I am going to have a meltdown btw

#autism #audhd #sensory overload #im going to cryy

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Remus Lupin wanted to die, yet he lived the longest.

James Potter wanted to live, yet he was the first to die.

Sirius Black wanted to break free from his family, yet he died one of them.

Peter Pettigrew wanted to be known, yet he never was.

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Help me prove my family wrong!

I don't know if this post will break containment, but will you like/reblog if you are or know a man who is asexual? All of the people in my life seem convinced that being Ace is a 'girl thing' and that Ace men don't exist!

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I think being a shapeshifter would fix me

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Someone go get Will