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every autistic person watching this episode of dungeon meshi:

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hold on. Was suck him good and hard through his jorts supposed to conjour the image of someone who has an unzipped fly because this entire time I've been imagining someone slurping on wet denim

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I am once again thinking about digging holes

It's so fucked up that digging a bunch of holes works so well at reversing desertification

I hate that so much discourse into fighting climate change is talking about bioenginerring a special kind of seaweed that removes microplastics or whatever other venture-capital-viable startup idea when we have known for forever about shit like digging crescent shaped holes to catch rainwater and turning barren land hospitable

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Marcille: "Uhhh . . . I'm so hungry . . ."

Laios: "We should have waited until we were at the end of this maze to kill and eat the minotaur. Senshi, what do we have left?"

Senshi: "We're good on water due to that aquifer leaking into the maze, but otherwise all we have left is my spices and this unopened bottle of benadryl."

Laios: "Hmm . . ."

Marcille: "Laois, look at me. Benadryl isn't food."

Laios: "I know that, but what if we were to kill and eat the Hat Man?"

Chilchuck: "WHAT?"

Senshi: "What's the Hat Man?"

Marcille: *sighs* "It's a shared hallucination, generally induced by certain kinds of drug intake. Some mages have tried to study if it's real but were unable to prove that it stayed tangible or present after they sobered up."

Senshi: "So that benadryl would lure the Hat Man to us, and give us a chance to fight it? That will be tough. Sounds like we will have to kill, cook and eat it all before the medicine wears off if it will lose tangibility otherwise."

Laois: "That's it! If we need only one or two of us to kill the Hat Man, then the rest can be dosed up only right before the meal is done cooking."

Senshi: "There's one problem with that. Dwarves are basically immune to any tallmen drug that isn't prescription strength. I'll need half the bottle just to have enough time to eat the meal. Chilchuck, you'll be able to use it the most efficiently because of how little you weigh. I can make sure that the fire is ready, but you'll have to fight the Hat Man alone and dose Marcille afterwards to help you with the cooking prep. Laios and I shouldn't risk taking more than needed just to eat."

Chilchuck: "ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE HAT MAN IS REAL! And I don't do the fighting in this group! There's NO WAY that-"

Narrator: And so with their plan formulated, Chilchuck took a heavy dose of benadryl and prepared to fight the Hat Man in single combat.

Part 2

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Today’s Beautiful Stomach Competition has gone well! All the RoundFroglets and LongFroglets got to show off their new Beautiful Frog Stomachs!

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fireflies lighting up a rural Pennsylvania field at dusk

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Number of Goblins, ranked

One Goblin - That's just a goblin. He's probably just getting his groceries or something. Leave him alone, you asshole.

Ten Goblins -- That's a fairly normal amount of goblins. There's generally around ten goblins in any given situations. They're just here for aesthetic, so you know it's a fantasy world. Remember to tip them when you leave.

One Hundred Goblins -- Ok this is too many goblins, but this is a reasonable amount of too many goblins. Like, this is maybe an army of goblins or something? My point is that they're probably here for a good reason. Best not to mess with them, they're likely load-bearing in some way.

One Thousand Goblins -- This is probably a goblin town, in which case this is really more a case of One Human, which is a completely different list only available on goblintube. If not, all these goblins are lost. Return them to the goblin town. The orcs are worried.

One Million Goblins -- A million goblins? I'm not sure I've even seen a million things in my life , and now there's a million goblins? That's, like, all the goblins. Why are you at a convention of all the goblins? Are you a goblin? Actually, no, that would make sense. Yeah, that's probably what's going on here. Sorry you had to find out this way.

One Billion Goblins -- Ok, look, at this point you have clearly been sent to a future time where humanity is extinct and goblins have inherited the earth. I can think of no other explanation for a billion goblins. This sadly means that you're the weirdo, and you have to go be a cryptid now. At least you can find a phone and read the goblin creepypastas about you.

One Trillion Goblins -- How? What is happening? This is more goblins then there are birds, and they'll all in your house? How is your house this big? Wait, forget the goblins, how is your house this big? Are the goblins here to guillotine you? Probably! Move out of your stupid mansion and let the goblins have it, you weird rich bird-hoarding freak.

One Quadrillion Goblins -- One quadrillion? I'm only like 80% sure that's even a real number! Luckily, you won't have to deal with a quadrillion goblins for long, because soon they'll collapse together under their gravity, forming a far more manageable single planet-sized goblin. Picard's not gonna be happy about this one!

More Goblins -- Fuck off, you do not have more then a quadrillion goblins. Why are you lying? Are you worried I won't like you if you don't claim to have an implausible number of goblins? Don't worry. Your worth is not dependent on your goblin numbers. Go back to the actual number of goblins secure in the fact I love you, no matter how few goblins you have <3

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The fact ive been seeing people in the dungeon meshi fandom not understanding the life cycles and how that impacts ages of maturity among the various races, and using that as a means to attack or insult other fans is quiet disheartening.

Because they have been shown in the anime recently ive seen this alot with characters such as inutade and leed and more so when izutsumi appears. i cant be to upset because as much as i enjoy kui and her work, alot of major facts arnt in the story itself and are in the daydream hours and seperate content.

But people arnt realizing that the different races arnt like the real world, they dont grow at the same age and rate and have different life spans because of it and so people are getting aggressive towards others over character ages when in reality they dont know how it really is.

Leed is one i want to talk about, orcs only live around 55 years. And they clearly grow at a much faster rate than races such as elves or gnomes. Leed is 14 years old, but at that point she is a fully grown orc woman. Yes she has only just become one but in orc society she is an adult, we see this when she thinks she is going to be wed off to laios later in the story when he becomes king. If she wasnt fully grown then i do not believe kui would have shown that scene. But because of orc aging she is in fact a grown woman.

My other example being inutade, once more we see another race with a shorter lifespan who clearly age at a faster rate than elves or gnomes. Inutade being 16 actually puts her past what oni age of maturity is because they mature at 15. Tade is a fully grown oni woman. And if we look at daydream hour 88 we see this art of her. Whether you view it in a sexual light or not is up to interpretation and it could go either way. But because of the type of person kui is, i dont believe she would have drawn tade like this if she viewed her as underage.

I have more photos of the race bios to show them off but what im saying is that there needs to be an understanding that because these fantasy races have varrying life spans, the ones who live shorter lives would make sense to mature in less time than the other ones. I want people to understand this because ive been seeing people saying truly despicable and mean things about other people and it breaks my heart to see.

Ive seen some people say that maturity ages are what they are becaus the shorter lived races die becaues it is like medieval times and so people died younger, but with magic healers and spells that really isnt something i think can be pointed to for why certain ages die at certain times.

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grunting and sweating and hammering away at the forge for hours on end to produce a grilled cheese

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i got high and sent a paleontologist an ask and they privately responded?????? help???