frogyourbog

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Edit: apparently the video was blocked so here is another one

THE OG TOH PILOT LEAKED

#OOOOH #giggling and kicking my legs #save for later

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now that my jury duty is over and i can legally talk about my jury duty, a short list of things that i have learned about jury duty:

when the judge wants to sidebar with the lawyers they turn on a static noise machine for the jury. this is very like the experience of being trapped inside a television

sometimes they load the entire court -- judge, lawyers, court reporters, jury, etc. -- onto a bus and take you all on a little field trip to see a crime scene. this is very like the experience of being in elementary school

when you are on a jury field trip you May Not share a seat, you May Not speak, and you May Not look at anything you have not been officially told you can look at. this is very like the experience of being trapped inside a point-and-click adventure except that instead of being limited in your investigation by the constraints of the game mechanics, you are instead limited in your investigation by the court officers herding you around like ducks with their long wooden Official Court Staffs

no matter how much an FBI agent may encourage the court to call him kevin, the court will not call him kevin

#that’s amazing #and hilarious

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More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

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reblog to make prev stop having headaches

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when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

#it is not too long ago #and also eons ago #it’s the “i’m stuck in 2020 thing of this decade #like the fact that we’re almost halfway through the decade is wild

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I ordered an eleventh Doctor cutout and now Amazon is sending me threats

#oh my god

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What a cute fun opening with absolutely zero horrific foreshadowing and symbolism

#i’m so concerned i’ve only watched the show thus far

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you know how some people go to parties and befriend the pets there like the dogs & cats? whenever i go to social functions i somehow end up randomly in charge of children. i don’t know how it happens. people are always just foisting children off on me in public places.

and the thing is it never stops at one child, because once you have one with you, another child approaches, and then parents start to think you’re perhaps some sort of hired childcare at the function and they don’t ask you. more children appear whose parents pointed at you and the other children and said, “oh look! that’s where all the kids are! go over there!”

I was at a work picnic once and a man from another department asked me to hold his 5-month-old while he filled up his plate. Then he got distracted talking to friends and didn’t come back for thirty minutes. I stood there with this baby whose name I actually didn’t know, chit-chatting a meeting new colleagues, and everyone assumed it was my baby and kept asking about him and what was I supposed to do? Say, “oh this isn’t mine” ?? Because then they’d ask whose it was and we actually hadn’t exchanged names. So then what would I say, “I don’t know” ??????????

I started wondering if I needed to make up a fake backstory for this baby.

The baby’s MOM eventually showed up looking for her husband, saw me, and said, far more pleasantly than she needed to, “hi! You seem to have my baby????”

I was just like, “indeed. so I do.”

I once volunteered to run the bubble table at a local festival. The point was to come get bubble wands & soap to use around the festival, but people just started sending their children over en masse. The festival ended, and I still had like 17 unattended children. I needed to go home.

I had no idea what to do. I needed to find an event organizer but I couldn’t leave them alone? So I started walking around the festival with a line of hand-holding children to find an authority I could give them away to like some sort of reverse Pied Piper

once I ended up in charge of a 3 year old at a funeral and she realized what death was and that she was going to die one day. I was holding her & she was crying while I was desperately trying to locate her parents.

Idk where I’m going with this.

I need to find a way to seem less approachable so no more strange toddlers have mortality crises in my arms.

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Elon Musk bought the company. He has nothing to do with the development. #CosplayEngineer

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For literal months we've been trying to order plain tortilla chips from the grocery store and every time they substitute some new variety of flavored tortilla chips I had never even heard of before. I feel like Calvin's dad.

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Remember when people got mad at me when I said “if you can’t even name 10 trans men activists from the 1980s-2010s I don’t think any of your takes about trans men and our experiences have any value imo. Especially if you aren’t a trans man.” And then people got mad at me?? Like damn sorry I expect people to know a little history before they talk about a group of people .

#queer people who think they are unable to be homophobic/transphobic need to be Stopped

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now that I’ve been back a while I’m getting the age old “is this okay to reblog” questions on my posts, and I would like to say what I have always said which is that 1. Yes. 2. You should never

Ever

post a single thing on this site that would make you uncomfortable or cause trouble for you if someone shared it elsewhere. Yes, even if you disable reblogs on the post.

It’s not nice, but you have absolutely zero expectation of privacy or containment regarding anything you post to any social media. Even if it’s social media that only your friends can view. It’s still up and out there.

If it would be upsetting or dangerous or just plain awkward for something you post here to show up elsewhere—I cannot stress this enough—Do Not Post It.

#literally #its internet safety 101

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people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem

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Foggy’s gotten pretty decent at naming which red-themed vigilante is coming through his window in the middle of the night without even opening his eyes: Matt tries to be quiet so he doesn’t wake him up, Deadpool is talking before he even gets the window open and Peter knocks like a goddamn decent human being.

“Come in!” he yells, deciding that he won’t get out of bed until he knows if there’s an emergency or Peter just wants to raid his first aid kit and fridge.

“Sorry, Mr. Nelson,” Peter says, climbing inside and dropping lightly to the floor. “I know it’s late but I had a question.”

“Shoot, Spiderboy,” Foggy says, sitting up to see Peter lingering awkwardly close by in full Spiderman gear and oversized hoodie, backpack slung over one shoulder.

“It’s just that Mr. Murdock said that you might be willing to look over one of my essays,” Peter says, “but I kind of got distracted doing, y’know--” Peter makes a vague punching motion with a soft pow sound. “--and it’s kind of due tomorrow morning.”

“Oh my god,” Foggy says, sighing and pushing aside his sheets to get out of bed. “This is actually the least stressful thing one of you weirdos has ever asked me to do. What’s your essay about?”

“Macbeth.”

“Y’know, Matt was an English major,” Foggy says, huffing out a laugh and finding a sweatshirt to pull on before he turns on the lights. “You should probably be offended that he passed you off on me.”

“What was your major?” Peter asks.

“Business,” Foggy says. “Did I ever tell you about how my mom wanted me to be a butcher?”

“You have,” Peter says, dutifully, sitting his backpack on the floor and digging through it, “but you can tell me again, if you want.”

“You’re a good kid,” Foggy says, taking the essay when Peter finds it and hands it to him. “There’s leftovers in the fridge. Go eat while I check this bad boy out.”

"You're my hero," Peter says, fervently.

Foggy's never been called that before.

He doesn't hate it.

#awww

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUBBLE SPACE TELESCOPE

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people misunderstand what ‘gifted kid’ actually means but it’s ok it’s fine it’s cool it’s good