ftmpupglacier

[ftmpupglacier]

the wolf and the puppy [jan ‘24]

I first noticed the wolf in the group chat when he mentioned needles and fire.

My ears perked up - well, metaphorically speaking. It had been over a decade since I’d last had the opportunity to play with needles…or fire, for that matter. But both those experiences had ranked way up there amongst the list of kinky things I had enjoyed, and hoped to experience again someday.

I can be shy, at times. Mainly in groups…even online ones. But I’ve been practicing confronting my fears and forcing myself to sit with some of my discomfort. With this in mind - and the possibility of being turned into a puppy pincushion?! - I started making flirty comments in the wolf’s direction.

We’d been chatting in one of the designated topic threads and after a short time, I had a message from Daddy Pup that made me blush - asking me to “move your sex chat with Wolf” to the general chat thread or to private message. I asked Wolf’s permission to continue in private, and once I had confirmation I sent him a hello.

That’s how it started.

But it went quickly from there, getting to know each other as we discussed kinks, sex, and pup stuff…before moving on to things like our pets and our favourite music. I told him my favourite band; he listened and came back with an album recommendation; I listened and immediately added it to my music library. He sent me recordings of music he wrote and performed himself.

Eventually Wolf said that we should plan a date. He has a busy life, with other partners; my own life is hectic and I have responsibilities; I live a good distance away. So it’s been a couple of weeks but finally, finally, the day has come…or rather, it’s tomorrow.

However - we did already get the opportunity to meet last week, at the last pup event. It was tantalizingly brief, but it totally affirmed the impression of him that I have formed over the past few weeks of daily chats.

He was even more handsome in real life - so absolutely My Type, woof. I felt instantly comfortable with him. The moment he touched me I wanted to melt into him.

And I did, a bit. He petted my head while I nuzzled into his chest, humping his leg and making needy sounds. I felt blushy but I literally could not help myself.

I am so looking forward to being a good puppy for him.

#gay bd/sm #bd/sm puppy #bd/sm sadist #pup pl4y #puppy sub #ftm puppy #Wolf

[ftmpupglacier]

daddy pup, part 2 [jan ‘24]

Read Part 1 here.

About halfway through my 6.5 days of no-touch, Daddy Pup sent me a message asking if I would like to resolve my denial with him in the darkroom upstairs at the pup event. I eagerly agreed. He told me to be ready to go upstairs at 3:01 PM, and I squirmed. The event was set to start at 3:00 PM.

I made it on time, but he was late, which I teased him about - just a little. We headed back to the mats and he sat down with his back against the wall, like when we had snuggled together last time. But this time I sat on my knees, leaning on my hands, like a good puppy all eager to obey. He reached out a hand and stroked my head, and my eyes closed.

“Who’s a good puppy?”

I wiggled my bottom and let out a little bark. He rubbed my shoulders and my back, and gave me some more praise. And then: “Does puppy want a bone?”

I felt myself blush underneath my hood. All I could do was nod, and the next thing I knew we were heading for the stairs, me following a step or two behind him like his obedient little dog, eyes on the floor.

Upstairs we found a dark corner and we were pressed up against each other, one of his hands making its way between my legs. I was already so wet; I could tell the moment he touched me. I whimpered and clung to him; I was stoned and the way he was touching me was making my knees weak. I was rubbing him through his shorts, and then he pulled out his dick.

My first thought popped straight out of my mouth, as I wrapped a hand around him: “Wow, pictures don’t do you justice.” (The next day, he told me how much he’d enjoyed hearing me say that.)

He was substantially thicker than I’d realized - to my great delight, because this puppy loves getting fucked by big thick cocks - and I pressed closer, so he could feel my wetness against the head of his dick. We teased each other like this for a few minutes and then he asked me again if I wanted to get fucked. When I nodded, he ordered me up against the wall, and wasted no time burying himself deep in my cunt.

The moment I felt him push into me, I gasped and my eyes fluttered closed. I felt like I could feel every individual nerve ending in my cunt being stimulated as his fat cock slid over them, thrusting in and out of me.

By that point, the weed gummies I’d eaten on the way in and the endorphins of getting fucked were working together beautifully. I was in utter bliss, moaning and whimpering and panting and making all manner of slutty, appreciative puppy sounds. And at some point, I growled, I think I swore “fuuuuuuck” as I pushed back on him - and I remember it vividly because I felt his hands tighten on me and I think he made a sound in response that made it very fucking clear that he loved the sounds I was making. I hadn’t been deliberately trying to stay quiet but after that I didn’t hold back at all, and let myself be loud while he pounded me.

Daddy Pup kept up his relentless pounding of my pussy for a good long time - most tops don’t fuck me long enough, if I’m brutally honest - and I took everything he gave me, squirming and pushing back on him, making lots of hot noises for him, making sure he’d have no doubt how much I was loving his dick.

I had absolutely no concept of time or how long we were at it before Daddy Pup pulled out of me. I dropped to my knees in front of him and tried to give him my best pleading puppy eyes as he jerked off, and I was rewarded with a huge load of cum all over my muzzle.

My legs felt slightly jellied as I followed him back down the stairs, blushing under my pup hood and feeling utterly giddy with just-fucked joy.

During our sort of debriefing the next day, Daddy Pup praised what a good pup I had been and how hot it was for him; how much he’d loved the sounds I made; that he wanted to do it again.

“Hope you know the next time I won’t be allowing you to wear jeans…”

#gay bd/sm #bd/sm puppy #pup pl4y #puppy sub #ftm puppy #Daddy Pup

[ftmpupglacier]

daddy pup, part 1 [jan ‘24]

He found me on Grindr, just like my Alpha pup had. I was instantly intrigued: he was incredibly hot in his pup hood, yeah, but it was his profile name that had my attention. Daddy Pup.

Despite the fact that I know there’s as many roles and relationship dynamics out there as there are grains of sand in a desert…somehow it had never occurred to me that there could be such a thing as a Daddy Pup. And I. Was. Interested.

But then there was the content of the message too. He asked if I ever attended any of the puppy events in the next major city to me, an hour and a half drive from me. I never had, but if THAT pup was at them? Sign me the fuck up.

He has a big chastity kink. And I have a lot of mixed feelings about this. But what really got in my head was when Daddy Pup pointed out to me that if I looked closely at his collar, I would see that he wears the keys to his pups’ cock cages. Like…damn. How fucking hot is THAT?

Not for the first time I found myself mildly regretful of not having the right set of genitals to be able to wear a cage. Chastity devices for my own anatomy just ain’t as sexy, visually or otherwise. But alas.

I made the mistake of complaining to him one night that I hadn’t been able to cum for a while. I’d tried but it just hadn’t been working. When his reply appeared, I felt my eyes go wide and my jaw dropped a little. He was suggesting - no, he was telling me - that I should stop trying. Until after the next pup event.

I whimpered and squirmed, and I reluctantly gave my consent to the no-touch game. At that point, it was only a couple of days.

The end of no touch finally came, and sure enough - so did I. Still breathless and blushing, I sent a message to Daddy Pup to say thank you. And once again he caught me off guard when he asked me how a pup would properly show his appreciation.

I squirmed and I whimpered. It felt like a trap. I didn’t want to seem unappreciative by not offering enough. But at the same time…well…I didn’t like the thought of what I suspected he’d like the most.

I asked when the next pup event was, and received the answer that it was almost 2 weeks away at that point, on a Saturday night. Way too long. But…

I swallowed my pride and I offered to go no-touch again as a sign of my appreciation. This time it would be almost a week - starting at 12:01 AM Monday before the event, and going until the end of the event on Saturday night.

Daddy Pup laughed and told me thank you - but he’d just wanted a photo. I squirmed and whined some more but told him it hadn’t seemed like enough. I’m a Good Boy, after all.

Part two here.

#gay pup #denial kink #pup pl4y #ftm puppy #ftm sub #daddy pup

[ftmpupglacier]

from the archives: pussy boy, room 7 [andy, 2020]

This was what Andy wrote on the chalkboard at the top of the stairs in the bathhouse. “Open your door and lie on the bed with your legs open. I’ll be back in a bit.” And with that, he disappeared.

~~~

Let me rewind.

It had started the day before when we had stopped eating and spent the night pre-douching, to cut down on time to get ready in the morning. In the end we were out the door by mid morning (a feat we sometimes struggle to accomplish on a regular day, even without the added complication of getting ready to get fucked.)

It was the first bathhouse trip where Andy and I were both intending to bottom. We were each a little nervous - what if one of us got more attention than the other? - but mostly excited. It had been a long time, over a year, since our last visit.

Andy got us set up in rooms that were side by side. He’d barely finished putting his stuff in his room before there was a guy outside his door. Too shy to wander around, or even keep my door open at first, I sat in my room at the end of the bed and enjoyed listening to Andy getting fucked next door. The walls don’t go all the way to the ceiling, so you can hear things happening around you - and he’s always been deliciously vocal in bed.

When Andy was done, he knocked on my door. “Just me, baby. Let’s go walk around.” I let him lead me down the hallway as we explored the lower level. It was busy - much busier than our previous visits together - and I was too shy to look at anyone too closely.

We made our way upstairs, past the chalkboard wall. “SLING SLUT” was the only thing written on it at that point.

We ended up in this room we’ve played in before, with three beds side by side and porn playing on a big tv (which provides the only light for the room). There was one bed open closest to the door, so Andy told me to lie down and let him suck my dick.

More guys came in pretty quickly, and I was embarrassed, nervous; even in the relative darkness, it seemed to me that it must be terribly obvious that I wasn’t a cis man. I was wearing my chest binder, and with Andy’s face between my thighs, I felt deeply self conscious and worried about what the other guys were thinking.

I think Andy was being touched by someone while he worked on me with his mouth. At some point he moved back to focus on a couple of the other guys, in particular the one in the bed right next to us. I lay back and stroked my cock while guys looked on. And then Andy was drawing my attention back to the guy next to me, murmuring to me to suck his dick.

I was too nervous to comply immediately, afraid of rejection, of how people were currently reading me. Andy grabbed the guy’s hand and put it on my thigh, I think he tentatively began touching me…and then Andy got firmer in his demands, telling me I better get my mouth down there in the next 3 seconds.

I leaned over and wrapped my lips around one of the thickest cocks I’ve ever seen. I moaned and worked on it as well as I could, despite how I usually struggle to blow guys with thick dicks.

I wasn’t at it for long before Andy told me to get on top. I kept sucking, hoping to delay or dissuade him; what if I got rejected because of my pussy? / I don’t feel like I am very good at being on top / I feel self-conscious about my body in general / I don’t enjoy it as much as being held down and pounded.

Andy wasn’t fucking around by then. He growled at me to do as I was told before he made it clear who was in charge.

I swallowed my fear and straddled my anonymous partner. He was middle-aged, I think, a bit older than Andy, probably closer to my actual father’s age. He was a pretty solid build; I felt comfortable putting my (fairly considerable) weight on him as I slid down onto his big cock. I let out a moan - fuck, it was so big, it filled me up so perfectly and felt absolutely fucking amazing. It ended up being sort of perfect, he was clearly into it and it didn’t take long (but long enough to thoroughly enjoy myself anyway) before he was getting close to orgasm. I kept up my pace as I rode him, and my efforts were rewarded with a load of cum inside my hole.

I climbed off him and crawled back onto the bed beside him. Andy was all over me, eagerly alternating between sucking my dick and licking my cummy hole. By then the room had pretty well cleared out, and we decided to head back downstairs.

“Maybe you should advertise me on the chalkboard,” I suggested.

Andy just grinned in response, and when we reached it, he grabbed a piece of chalk and wrote our note:

pussy boy (FTM)

rm 7

~~~

So there I was, lying on the bed with my legs open, anxious yet somehow okay. I had barely been alone for a few minutes when someone stepped into the doorway. I could see he was a much older daddy, and he asked in a soft voice if he could close the door. I nodded, feeling a twinge of nervous energy run through me.

He called me little boy as he began playing with my dick, and he spoke to me of utterly filthy things that made me moan as he tapped into some of my darkest kinks. He explored both my holes with his fingers and rubbed my dick, and told me he wanted me to cum. I whispered that I wasn’t sure if I could but he just ordered me to do it as he worked a finger into my asshole. I tried my hardest, frantically jerking myself off, but finally he grew impatient and excused himself.

I murmured a thank you as he left, and I went back to lying there all exposed. I played with myself to occupy my hands; at one point I rolled over onto my belly and stuck my ass in the air, grinding my dick against my hand occasionally.

The next guy who came in ended up being Andy. He got out the big pornstar dick and began fucking me with it, the door still wide open leaving me on display. I whimpered as I squirted, and I opened my eyes to see a glimpse of a small audience at the doorway.

I don’t remember at what point Andy stopped using the toys on me, or how much he negotiated things on my behalf - but the next thing I remember was someone new approaching me. I spread my legs and he thrust into me. He was a pretty good fuck, grinding against my dick when he was buried deep in me so that I groaned and squirmed beneath him.

He left after he’d fucked me for a bit, but then he came back again. We fucked some more, I think he came in me…and once he’d finished Andy sat down next to me on the bed to check in with me.

We both agreed that we’d had fun and gotten our fill of dick, so we packed up and headed out.

~~~

At home, Andy ate my sloppy, cummy cunt and helped me cum - and then he pounced on me, shoving his hard cock into me while I was so oversensitive that I could barely handle it. I cried out from the overwhelming pleasure of it, and it didn’t take long before he blew his load inside me.

We collapsed in each other’s arms and kissed slowly, and I felt like we had never been more in love.

#gay bd/sm #gay bath #ftm breeding #anon s3x #from the archives: andy #andy

[ftmpupglacier]

jackson [nov ‘23]

He called me a faggot in his first Grindr message— that was all it took.

I hadn’t even seen his photo when I hopped in my car and drove the short distance to his building “to smoke and get your cunt wrecked”.

When he approached my car and said hi, I sighed a little in relief - he wasn’t bad looking and didn’t give off any bad vibes. I followed a few steps behind him as he strode down the street and we entered an apartment building.

Inside, we smoked and chatted while I tried not to squirm in nervous anticipation. Finally he lay back and told me get undressed. I stripped down to just my chest binder and dropped to my knees in front of him. He was still wearing underwear; he grabbed my head and pressed it against his crotch, rubbing my face against his bulge. I moaned and licked at him through the soft fabric, already lost in the high of submission. His hand reached between my legs and I continued to nuzzle at him, making needy sounds.

He pulled my head back and slapped my face, such a firm and well-aimed blow that my head spun and my hole dripped. He slapped me again and then he pulled out his cock. “Suck it faggot.”

I hesitated partway down and he seized my head, shoving me the rest of the way. “All the way down. There you go.” I gagged and tried to relax as he fucked my throat. At one point I gagged so hard I felt a mouthful of bile come back up but I swallowed it back down and kept going eagerly, gasping for breath whenever he let me have it.

He pulled me off him and told me to get on the bed.

“How do you want me?”

“All fours, face down, ass up.”

I crawled across the bed and got into position, my hole so needy and ready. He slid all the way into me without any resistance and I let out a groan, my eyes fluttering closed.

“Yeah, you like that faggot?”

“Yes Sir, ughn…”

He pounded me from behind while I moaned and whimpered and quivered, bucking back at him. Then he ordered me to roll over onto my side and raise one leg up high. I did as I was told, and he lay down behind me.

He slapped my wet cunt roughly before he shoved his cock back inside me, grabbing my raised leg and gripping tight as he fucked me hard. I think he reached around and smacked my face again once or twice.

We paused at some point to smoke a joint and afterward we both fell asleep for a bit. Once we woke up, we were disoriented at first and then startled to realize the time. I got dressed, blushing furiously as I thanked him and told him I’d be happy to hang out again another time. He told me which direction to turn to get out of his apartment building, and off I went…still feeling a little squirmy and needy as I remembered the way he’d manhandled me, and desperately hoping he would invite me back soon for more.

#grindr hookups #Jackson

[ftmpupglacier]

from the archives: the pup formerly known as skippy [andy, 2018]

One morning after his husband Robby had left for work, Andy had fucked me on the couch before he had to leave too. It was brief but hot, and thoroughly enjoyable.

After he’d filled me with his cum, he was looking at me thoughtfully. “When was the last time you came?”

“Days... Sunday morning? When you got me off.”

“How bad do you want to cum?”

It felt like a trap, and I was immediately wary. “I don’t know...”

“I think I’ll keep you needy, then.” He got up, grinning wickedly.

“But...! Daddy!” I followed him to the kitchen, pouting and whining a bit. “My dick is so needy...you didn’t even touch it at all...”

Another big grin spread across his face. “I know.”

Then he left the room to get in the shower, leaving me panting and squirming in my chair.

After he finished, he wandered out to the kitchen naked. I squirmed at the sight of him - desperately wanting to touch him, to rub myself all over him like a cat, to worship him with my mouth.

I slid off my chair onto the floor, on my hands and knees, and looked up at him pleadingly.

“Ohhh...is puppy begging?”

I arched my back and wiggled my bottom playfully.

He grinned. “You can cum - if you lick peanut butter off my dick first.”

I blushed a little. “Yes Daddy…”

Andy went to the cupboard and got out the jar of peanut butter. I was blushing furiously as I waited on my knees.

He walked over to me, cock liberally smeared with peanut butter. I sat up on my knees and began to lick at him obediently. He picked up his phone, and after a moment I heard the sound of a video beginning to record. I didn’t falter in my task, though; he kept his phone on me for a minute or so before he set it down and began to fuck my mouth.

Andy came in my mouth and I swallowed obediently, cum mixing with the lingering taste of peanut butter. He gave me a soft kiss and grinned at me. “Have a good day, baby. Cum hard for me.” He turned away, then back again. “And I want you to send that video to someone.”

I hurried downstairs to my bedroom as he left, blushing furiously.

[ftmpupglacier]

from the archives: kink party #2 [andy, 2017]

Andy was smirking down at me, sitting back in his chair with all the cockiness evident on his face. He looked so fucking sexy: he’d worn his pup t-shirt with his Air Force uniform pants (purchased for the last party we’d attended), and a pair of shiny black military boots. As I sat on the floor looking up at him, I was almost overwhelmed by how desperately I wanted him.

As he looked through the bags of toys, I gave his boots a preliminary cleaning with a damp wipe. At last, we were both ready. He looked down at me, and the smirk grew - somehow - even bigger.

“Well? What are you waiting for, boy?”

The moment my tongue touched the leather, I was lost. I felt my pussy getting wet as I pushed my ass high in the air, licking his boots enthusiastically. If not for the pain in my knees from the hard floor, I could have stayed there all night. I was so submissive, so content, so eager to please him.

But finally Andy told me he thought I’d cleaned his boots enough, that I needed to dry them now. I went red, hesitating; I knew exactly what he meant, and I was embarrassed about doing it. But I swallowed my pride and obediently positioned myself over his right foot.

I rubbed myself all over his boots like an animal in heat, drying the spit from his boots with the crotch of my cute little spaceship underwear. When I was finished, I sat back with my legs spread wide, and he kicked me with those beautiful shiny boots, then ground the dirty soles of them into my aching little dick.

When he thought I’d had enough, he chained me up to the cross. The boot worship had just been foreplay; this was our real scene.

He began to hit me, starting with the stingy things that I can’t handle very well - his hand, the paddles, the cane. It wasn’t long before I was trembling and crying, flinching from each stroke. Finally I lashed out the only way I could, stomping my bare foot ineffectively on one of his boots in frustration.

A few moments later, Andy was uncuffing one hand and tucking my teddy bear underneath my arm. I’d put it in my bag for aftercare purposes, but he obviously thought I needed it now. It made me feel simultaneously comforted and afraid; I knew he meant it to help me take more for him.

Sure enough, he focused more on the cane after that. I cried and shook and clutched tightly to my bear and the chains on the cross as he struck me again and again.

At last, he started in with the heavy, thuddy blows that make me melt with pleasurable pain - punches to my shoulders and ass, slamming his knee up between my legs. I grunted and moaned and disintegrated into a puddle, held up only by the one hand still chained to the cross. At one point, Andy slid his hands between my thighs and spread me open to check how wet I was, and made a satisfied sound of amusement in response. I was dripping and so desperately needy; he could have shoved his fists inside me with no resistance, I was sure.

When he took me down from the cross, I almost collapsed in his arms. He helped me to a chair and he held me while I leaned in against his chest. I felt so small and submissive and emotionally needy for him; it was exactly what I needed.

There were no visible bruises - typical for me - but with every movement for the rest of the weekend, I could feel the ache of every blow he’d struck.

#bd/sm puppy #bd/sm masochist #gay bd/sm #bd/sm sadist #from the archives: andy #andy

[ftmpupglacier]

from the archives: the flip side [andy, 2017]

At the play party, I topped for the very first time in public. I hit Andy with our collection of paddles until I had raised welts all over his reddened ass, and he took it wonderfully for me.

But next morning, he was still needy and bottomy. I could tell the moment he walked in the room - Andy is very emotive, every thought and feeling visible on his face and throughout his body. It brought out the Dom hunger in me and I pushed him around, slapped his face once or twice. He asked me to punch his chest instead, so I did - hard.

Andy sank to his knees and nuzzled at my dick through my pyjama pants. I grabbed the back of his head and held him tight to me, enjoying the dulled sensation of his lips around my cock while I looked down at him. I felt growly and toppy; I wanted to shove him down over the counter and fuck his ass until he screamed for me.

He slid down lower and pressed his forehead to my sock-clad feet. He pushed his ass higher into the air as he began to kiss my feet, and my dick was aching, so turned on that I could feel myself dripping down my thighs.

I kicked him next, slamming the inside of my foot against the meatiest areas of his ass over and over. Andy grunted and whimpered and arched his back for me more, clearly loving the deep thuddy sensation. God, I wanted to beat him senseless, until he was a quivering pile of mush on the floor...and then fuck him, of course.

I sat on him while he was on all fours, and pounded on his upper back with my fists. He grunted and begged for more - "please sit on me and punch me, Sir!" He gasped, told me how the thud went all the way through him to the floor, how good it felt.

I ordered him back to doing the dishes. Then I stood back a little, in plain view, and pulled down my pants. I began to stroke my cock just a little; as he noticed what I was doing, he let out a desperate whimper. He started to move towards me but I glared at him.

“Do the dishes, boy.”

I kept jerking off, slow and deliberate. He moaned and squirmed on the spot but reluctantly did as he was told. Once I was sure he was focused on his task, I stopped touching myself and watched him for a few minutes.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled down my pants again and stroked my dick, looking at him intently. “Come get your treat, puppy.”

Andy dropped to his knees instantly and pressed his mouth to my dick. I groaned softly, gripping the back of his head. He was such a good boy, enthusiastically sucking and lapping at my cock.

After a few minutes, I pulled him to his feet. His cock was rock-hard in his jeans, and he groaned when I brushed my hand over it. I unbuttoned his jeans slowly, and pulled down his boxers.

I rubbed our dicks together slowly, then slid him inside me. I wriggled for a few moments, then pulled myself off him. Andy let out a tortured moan, looking at me with shocked dismay.

I kissed him slowly and walked away, grinning wickedly.

#gay bd/sm #bd/sm sadist #bd/sm switch #from the archives: andy #andy

[ftmpupglacier]

from the archives: piss whore [andy, 2017]

“We're going to get caught,” I whimpered.

“Shut up,” he growled. “I'm not stopping until I cum in your ass.”

Andy was in full-on aggressive, nasty top mode. I was bent over the sink of a dirty bathroom at a rest stop, jeans and underwear around my ankles. He was hitting me and biting me, and snarling as he pounded my ass. He told me he was going to take me to the bathhouse and let all the gross old guys fuck me and use me as their urinal.

He'd already pissed in my ass; I could hear it sloshing around as he fucked my loose, sloppy hole. I felt it dripping down my thighs, felt my feet beginning to slip on the wet floor. I held onto the sink tighter to make sure I wouldn't fall as he slammed into me again and again.

After he came in my ass, he fingerfucked my holes until I was squirting - or was it just more of his piss leaking out of my ass? It was impossible to tell; everything was just wet and hot and it felt so fucking good, my knees were weak and I couldn't help the cries that kept escaping my mouth.

I don't remember anything else, except for peeling off my pissy boxers and stumbling into the shower the moment I got home. My legs were still shaky and my holes felt raw; there were bite marks along my left forearm from where I had bitten myself in my futile attempts to stay quiet.

I trailed around after him the rest of the afternoon like a puppy, adoring and needy and utterly submissive.

#bd/sm puppy #gay bd/sm #ftm puppy #p1ss k1nk #andy #from the archives: andy

[ftmpupglacier]

from the archives: 100 strokes with the cane [andy, 2017]

It had been such a very long time since I played like this.

Andy got everything ready in a slow, deliberate manner. Wrapped a cuff around each of my wrists and ankles, cinching them tight. He kissed me slow and gentle, then drew back and slapped my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and my head began to swim. I'd forgotten that preparing for a scene could be such good foreplay.

Next came the gag, and finally the blindfold. The world disappeared and I began to lose myself in the dark.

He put me facedown on the bed, wrist and ankle cuffs each clipped to a corner of the bed. I was totally at his mercy.

When he told me I was getting 100 strokes with the cane, I was flooded with fear and disbelief. He had never caned anyone before and that was so far beyond the realm of realistic; not even during a punishment had Owen ever pushed me so hard. I was in a total panic and I needed to tell Andy, needed to beg for mercy, to make him understand this was too much.

But the gag in my mouth kept me silent, the cuffs kept me tightly restrained. I was in over my head and I couldn't do shit about it. I did trust him, but I was terrified...so I took deep breaths and tried to calm myself as much as I could.

I am proud to say I took all 100 strokes - and then some, actually, because that fucking sadist refused to count the ones that he didn't think had hurt me enough.

It was brutal. I buried my face in the mattress and cried - sobbed, actually. It didn't stop him or make him hesitate, only seemed to turn him on more.

By the time he was done with me, I was a wreck. Crying hard, shaking all over, my throat hoarse and my head aching from crying. Muscles sore from being tense with fear for so long, always anticipating the next blow. My ass and upper back were hot and stinging from the cane itself. I was endlessly grateful for Andy’s new cuffs - the thick padded neoprene probably protected me from hurting my wrists and ankles too much while I struggled.

It wasn't all suffering, of course; Andy knows how to take care of me even when he's being mean. He rimmed me lots, and stroked my cock. Unclipped my wrists from the bondage straps for a while, so he could yank me down to the edge of the bed and fuck me hard from behind.

Most of the other details get lost in the haze of endorphins. These are some that I actually remember...

~ Andy leaning over me, nipping at me with his teeth, breathing in deeply. "You smell different," he whispered. "Like a scared little animal."

~ A couple of times he hit me with other toys: my rope flogger, maybe one of the paddles too.

~ Andy commenting on how wet my pussy was, the first time he checked; I think that was when he shoved one of the glass toys inside me and threatened to hit me harder with the cane if the glass came out. I squeezed down on it as much as I could and tried my hardest to stay still as he hit me - I was so afraid of getting more pain.

At the end, Andy wrapped his arms around me and held me while I cried a little more. He told me I was a good boy, that Daddy was so proud of me.

I'd like to take a moment to reassure anyone reading that this was, in fact, entirely consensual. It's true that I was gagged and did not have a way to communicate directly with Andy for parts of our scene.

But I trusted him, and we had established a nonverbal check-in system. I knew he wouldn't put me through all of that without checking on me, which meant I would have an out at some point. I wouldn't have to take all 100 strokes if I really couldn't handle it. As long as I just tried my hardest for him, I knew I would make him proud.

It's such a fucking rush to play like this again, to put myself in someone's hands and trust him not to hurt me - or rather, to trust him only to hurt me in the ways that I wanted. There was a time not so long ago when I genuinely wondered if I would ever be able to trust someone like that again, if I could ever let myself be so vulnerable with anyone.

I'm so glad to discover I was wrong.

#how to romance a masochist #gay bd/sm #bd/sm masochist #from the archives: andy #andy #owen

[ftmpupglacier]

from the archives: on being a masochist [andy, 2017]

I originally wrote this almost 7 years ago. This was the beginning of my relationship with Andy, when we were so in love. It’s been 3 months since that relationship came to an end, and reading through these notes recently has been bittersweet.

It’s been interesting though. Things had fallen into chaos and we were neither of us the people we had been before. Since I became single I’ve been trying to find myself again. I told someone recently I didn’t think of myself as a masochist. But I did once, apparently; I had forgotten.

I think I am going to keep reading and sifting through memories, and pulling out the pieces - literally and metaphorically - that still seem to hold meaning for me. Or at least the ones I want to consider if or how they may hold meaning, now.

~~~~~

It was a lazy Sunday morning as we lay in bed together. Thinking about how our time was drawing to an end, I mused aloud that he hadn't hurt me very much on this visit.

Andy pinned me on my stomach and began to bite my back and shoulders, and I grabbed a pillow to muffle the increasing sound of my gasps and whimpers.

“Ohhh, you're whimpering just like a real dog right now." Then he sunk his teeth into my flesh again viciously, so I whimpered and squirmed some more.

Finally I cried out in real pain, on the verge of tears.

I half-expected Andy to flinch back, to guiltily apologize for hurting me... It was what my ex Owen would have done. When we had finally split up, he'd been too timid and afraid to touch me at all for fear of hurting or triggering me.

But I'm not with Owen anymore.

Instead, Andy slowly but deliberately let go of me, as though he had meant to do so at that exact moment all along. He pressed the gentlest kiss to the spot where he had bitten me and whispered, "I'm all done, baby. You're such a good boy." He kissed over my back some more, sweet and soothing on my tender skin.

It was the perfect response. I felt so small and meek and submissive as I curled into him a little, pressing my head against his chest. I was still trembling and breathing hard as I whispered, “Thank you, Daddy."

We fell asleep within minutes, exactly as we were - me still on my stomach but twisted into him a little so my head was against his chest. Andy laid on his side, pressed up against me with an arm draped over me protectively. When I woke a few hours later, I felt so blissful and rested, and deliciously aching with bruises.

The more Andy hurts me, the more I want to please him. I feel drugged and helpless, like all I want is to drop to my knees & worship him. Or to give myself to him completely, to take whatever he's in the mood to give me this time - biting, punching, slapping, spanking, stretching my holes until I scream. It all makes his cock hard, and I am unbearably embarrassed and aroused by this knowledge.

I love him so fucking much.

#bd/sm masochist #gay bd/sm #masochist sub #kinky romance #from the archives: andy #andy #owen #how to romance a masochist

[ftmpupglacier]

from the archives: jay + andy [andy, 2016]

I was sitting at the edge of the couch. I had started rolling filters for joints and Andy had curled himself around my back, beginning to touch and nuzzle against me. Then suddenly he was biting me hard, gripping my flesh between his teeth hard and shaking his head a little from side to side.

I was gasping, whimpering, trying desperately not to flinch away. Trying to be his good boy, to suffer for him. I know how much he loves hurting me, and he knows how much I love the pain.

As soon as he let go, he would slap the bite marks sharply. That turned into him punching my upper back and shoulders, so hard I had to clench my teeth to make sure I didn't bite my tongue.

"What are you doing to me?" he growled, sounding surprised by his own response, grabbing me as he knelt behind me to grind his erection against my lower back.

He kept punching. When I could take a breath, I asked him to switch up how he hurt me - scratching, slapping, punching, biting. I think he started kissing my back gently too, but he had already hurt me so much that his facial hair stung so sweetly when it brushed against my tender skin.

He pressed his palms against my back. "Oh my god, your skin is so hot," he breathed, sounding awed at what he had done to me.

He was scratching me, lightly at first - which I love, but I wanted more pain. "You can scratch harder...uhhhhnnnnn!"

He'd dug his nails in hard and dragged them down my back viciously. Then he began drawing - or writing?! - on my back. Two letters in, I realized he was writing my name. When he got to the end, I realized he wasn't done.

JAY + ANDY

He took a photo for me. His name was bright red and raised on my lower back. Everything else was lost in the redness and bruising on the rest of my surrounding skin.

#bd/sm kink #bd/sm masochist #masochist sub #bd/sm #gay bd/sm #from the archives: andy #old stories #andy

[ftmpupglacier]

pup trainer [jan ‘24]

“I’d love to see you in your pup mask tonight.”

This came as something of a surprise. My profile picture was me wearing my neoprene puppy hood. Not because it’s a big kink for me or anything, just because it looked hot and I didn’t want my face on the grid. You have to click into my profile to see my human self. It’s not a big deal and I know my exes would recognize the hood anyway…but it just makes me feel a little better.

But still. Although the photo draws a lot of comment, it’s rare anyone wants to actually play with my pup self. I was intrigued.

I reluctantly admitted I couldn’t play in certain ways that week. “I don’t mind a mess,” was the matter of fact response. Okay. Point to him. I mind (which I tell him), but I like that he doesn’t.

He countered with a suggestion that I could simply suck his cock. I sort of scoffed, telling him that I don’t normally go for the kinda encounters I get so little out of.

He offered to rub my pussy - over my pants if I preferred - and scratch my back and behind my ears.

And he sends me a photo. A bathroom mirror selfie of a handsome older guy in a suit. Shaved head, bearded. Very much My Type.

Before I can reply, his next message arrives: “Be man’s best friend.”

“Belly rubs too?” Hey, negotiations go both ways…

“Of course.”

And then he sends me an audio clip. It’s exactly six seconds long. His voice makes me squirm when I press play and hear sweet, enthusiastic encouragement: “C’mon, be a good boy. Be a good dog.”

I bit back an actual whimper. My brain was running a hundred miles a minute. It was 4:30 in the morning; I had only woken up because my dog needed to go pee. But this guy had all my attention.

We quickly negotiated a plan, and I hurriedly got dressed and headed outside to wait in my car. He parked in front of me and got out to open the back door. I hopped out of my own car and into the backseat of his SUV, with its dark tinted windows.

I had been too shy to put my hood on but I’d worn my collar. When I’d sent him the photo he had noticed my name tag immediately and begun to use my pup name. He did so again now, murmuring, “Good boy, Glacier,” as he stroked a hand over my back. He helped me take off my coat and my sweater, and let his hands roam over me as he praised me. I blushed and whimpered and leaned into his touches.

Eventually I let myself get brave enough to paw at his thigh. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled out his cock, and I eagerly got my mouth on it. He moaned his appreciation of my oral skills while his big hands alternated between stroking my hair and rubbing between my legs, occasionally scratching behind my ears and holding me down a little.

He told me to get up on the seat and sit pretty like a good pup waiting for a treat. I knelt on the backseat next to him, watching with wide eyes as he jerked himself off. He told me to get my mouth back on him and I obeyed eagerly, swallowing his cum and mentally noting in a detached sort of way that I’d enjoyed that a lot more than I usually did.

“What a good boy Glacier. Yes you were. Lay down for a bit, pup.” I happily laid my head against his furry thigh and stretched out across the seat a little. He stroked my head and down along my back, and I let my eyes drift closed. I felt utterly content.

Eventually he breaks the silence to ask me a question, and as I clear my throat to answer I realize it’s the first time I’ve spoken since I got into his car.

He gives me his number and tells me to text anytime.

I text him later to thank him, and to apologize for having been too shy to put my hood on. He tells me next time.

“We’ll resume where we left off. But you in your pup hood and nothing else. I want to hear you whimper and howl for me.”

#bd/sm puppy #ftm puppy #pup pl4y #puppy sub #gay pup #pup trainer Dom