ghcstwired

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I just want peace, no heartaches, no tears, no pain

#O2. ⧽ 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝﹕i won‘t just be a puppet on a string .

[ghcstwired]

so... y’all just like... trust people ?

#O2. ⧽ 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝﹕i won‘t just be a puppet on a string .

[ghcstwired]

create a picrew of your muse!

( tagged by ) @vasted & @ghculism

( tagging ) @high-heeled-nightmare @dcrkin @th-ousndwinter @shadowsstarttosing @farbfaser @frivlous @lcmurian

#⧽ 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 .

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Who are you when you're not performing?

#O1. ⧽ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲﹕half of me has disappeared .

[ghcstwired]

I was looked at, but I wasn't seen.

— Albert Camus, The Misunderstanding

#O2. ⧽ 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝﹕i won‘t just be a puppet on a string .

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#O4. ⧽ 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬﹕comfort in chaos .

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someone: are you okay?

me: *in a high-pitched mocking voice* "are you okay?" what the fuck.

#O1. ⧽ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲﹕half of me has disappeared .

[ghcstwired]

WE ARE | Ep 2

#O9. ⧽ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ﹕ Chifuyu .

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❝ It's time for you to get back to business. It's a month already, get over it ❞ His manager, who had probably drunk almost the whole bottle of Soju, explained to him with a condescending tone. Ryujin couldn't believe what he heard, because even if it was a month ago when his band members died, it was as if he had lost his brothers. It was a feeling of emptiness, sadness, grief … and he still couldn't handle it. He still heard them screaming his name. Even their panicked faces didn‘t let him go. How they looked at him through the glass as he tried to save them to the point where he could no longer because he no longer had any control over his body and he couldn’t do anything anymore than listening to their agonizing screams while they burned. 

Would it have happened if he hadn't come back to life ? Would they still be alive ?

❝ I can't do that anymore. Not without them ❞, mumbled the 23 year old, also not particularly impressed by the fact that his boss was standing in his apartment. But maybe he should have thought twice about his words because the next thing that happened was something he least expected.

( trigger warning for the following content / physical abuse )

It was the first time he felt the hard punches and kicks of his boss, but it was no big secret that this happened. At least not among his people in the label. But Ryujin was always the one who obeyed. Not only he did it but also his band members. The fear they felt was far too big, after all, he had their career in his hands. In the corner of the living room, the 23 year old laid there like an embryo in the shards of a mirror - the pain was far too hellish for another position or even to move. His vision was blurry, his skull pounded like crazy but he didn't bleed. His boss was far too smart to leave visible traces like that. Nevertheless, Ryujin knew that certain parts of his body would probably turn blue and will be covered with any further asking. ❝ You must have forgotten what is in the contract? You're mine alone and when I say you're going on stage, you'll f* cking do it ! When I say you're going to be a soloist, then you will, get it ? God, even if I want to f*ck you, you have to obey ! ❞ His boss yelled while he pulled Ryujin with his hair back to his knees. A sharp pain stung through his head which made him hiss instantly. His face was so close to Ryujins now. The smell of the Soju was clearly noticeable and the idol would like to spit it in his ugly face, telling him to piss off.. 

… but a contract was a contract. It was almost as if he had sold his soul. And for what? A place to stay? Money? His dream of becoming an idol?

 ❝ You f*cking brat can be glad you’re bringin‘ me so much money… okay.. So, again: It's time to go back to business, don't you think? ❞ — ❝ Yes, boss. ❞

#totally normal to write in the middle of the night (4. am) / it‘s not proof read #maybe i got a little bit inspired by hazbin hotel #⧽ 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 . #O1. ⧽ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲﹕half of me has disappeared .

[ghcstwired]

#O1. ⧽ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲﹕half of me has disappeared .

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#O4. ⧽ 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬﹕comfort in chaos .

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I thought I had been surviving, and yet, what I was really doing was hanging by a string, loosely holding myself from collapsing. I was always on the verge, and I could feel that friction in my soul.

Fariha Róisín, from Who Is Wellness For?: An Examination of Wellness Culture and Who It Leaves Behind

#O1. ⧽ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲﹕half of me has disappeared .

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Katherine Mansfield, from a letter to Dorothy Brett (May 1922)

#O1. ⧽ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲﹕half of me has disappeared .

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❝ they praying for the death of a rockstar . ❞

#O8. ⧽ 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 / 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 . #⧽ 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐬 .

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Gavin Yuan Gao, from "Lullaby"

#O2. ⧽ 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝﹕i won‘t just be a puppet on a string .

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“I promise you my pain wasn’t poetic. It was days without sleep and pretending I was stable enough to continue.”

— Amna Aamir

#O1. ⧽ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲﹕half of me has disappeared .

[ghcstwired]

WE ARE | EP2

#O9. ⧽ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ﹕ Kayn .