gingermumprobs

[gingermumprobs]

Mum: You can stop cutting them (potatoes) now.

Me: but I like cutting things

Mum: you can still cut people

~FGM

#future ginger mum #FGM #i swear i'm not crazy #but my mum is #Ginger mum #Ginger mum probs

[gingermumprobs]

When your dad dies I'll cremate him and just flush his ashes down the toilet and be done with him.

Mom

#FCD #Wtf #TrueLove #WowMom #GladYouCare

[gingermumprobs]

My aunt just said, quoting my grandma, "She has mannequin boobs, except mannequin boobs aren't that big" In case you wondered how my family became the way it is.... ~FCD

#MannequinBoobs #FCD #LoveMyFamily

[gingermumprobs]

Don't make fun of my pee :/

Mom

#FCD #Wooow

[gingermumprobs]

So a commercial about children in Africa starving comes on the TV and my mum just says "What if I just don't give a fuck... This is why ginger mums have crazy children. ~FGM

#future ginger mum #ginger mum probs

[gingermumprobs]

Mum: Your homecoming dress is much prettier than your cousin's.

Me: Wow, mum. You're SO nice.

Mum: I'm not being mean. I'm just stating that your dress is beautiful and that her dress is butt-fucking-ugly.

~FGM

#future ginger mum #ginger mum probs

[gingermumprobs]

Me: Were such horrible people xD

Mom: Why are you bringing me into this? Im horrible in a much different way!

~FCD

#GingerMom #FCD

[gingermumprobs]

I walk in on my mom eating rice with a ladle and I said "What are you doing..." Her response? "It was hard to eat with a fork" ~FCD

#WTFMomReally? #WhyALadle? #TryASpoon #Wow

[gingermumprobs]

So the other day my mum and I were driving and she said "The sun is in and out more than a gay man." I'm guessing the look on my face gave away what I was thinking because she then turned to me saying "In and out of the CLOSET!" ~FGM

#ginger mum #yes we have a dirty mind #crazy ginger mum #gingermumprobs

[gingermumprobs]

Me: Where my phone?

Mom: Oh here it is. *reaches under her boob on the armrest*

Mom: It has mom boob on it. Your dad would love that

~FCD

#Eww #Too much information #NoJustNo #ScarredForLife

[gingermumprobs]

~FCD

#DontCrossAGingerMom #TooTrue #FCD

[gingermumprobs]

My mom texts “Help ASAP” so I run downstairs and all she wants is a rice crispy and a pen. -_- She couldn’t be bothered to get off the couch.

~FCD

#really? #FCD #GingerMom

[gingermumprobs]

Dad: You kids need to always tell the truth.

Me: I do. I'm a very blunt person.

Mom: I like that about you.

~FCD

#TellItHowItIs #AlwaysTruthy #NeverAskMeHowIFeelAboutYou #UnlessYouWantToHateYourself #TooHonest? #Nah

[gingermumprobs]

Sister: You guys keep yelling at me!

Mom: NO ONES YELLING AT YOU!! EXCEPT FOR ME..

~FCD

#CrazyGingerMom #Yelling #MySisterCouldntMakeAFrickingBed #Imcompetant #ShesWhiny

[gingermumprobs]

Me: *leaning forward, looking out passenger window*

Mom: *slams my head into headrest* Move I can't see.

~FCD

#Ouch #YouCouldveJustAsked #GingerMom

[gingermumprobs]

Me: I can make a poppy noise with my wrist

Mum: I can smack the shit out of you with my hand

~FGM

#she hates the sound #ginger mum probs

[gingermumprobs]

Me: speed limit 35

Mum: eh I'm doing 43 call the police have my happy ass hauled away see if I care

~FGM

#speed limit 55 #my mum 75 #ginger mum probs #FGM