hockeydyke

[hockeydyke]

hockey is bad in many ways but they did go off with making the most important trophy in the sport a semi-living magical entity you can have sex with

[hockeydyke]

[hockeydyke]

my years of exposure to boys at university means i know for a FACT there is a haus minecraft server and i have thoughts about it:

nursey is absolutely useless at the game and spends 99% of his time taming cats and collecting flowers. he also plays it on his ipad

everything chowder builds looks like a 5 year old built it but if you challenge him to a fight you will lose. every single time

dex makes those overcomplicated villager trading markets for all the overpowered tools

ransom always goes on adventures 100000 miles away to collect resources and gets completely lost

holster dedicates all his time to making elaborate redstone contraptions. some of them are useful but most of them are not

shitty starts off as a pacifist and refuses to kill any of the animals - this slowly evolves into him building and running a fight-to-the-death tournament involving real life money

lardo is the annoying player that sets fire to people’s houses and builds traps to explode things

bitty refuses to play it - “i’m too pretty to play those games” - but he watches minecraft youtube videos and backseat plays over everybody else’s shoulders

somebody asks jack if he wants to join the server and he says “what’s minecraft?” and it’s genuinely not a joke. he’s never heard of it

the server is called MINEBROS because holster made it and refuses to change it even though the name sucks

#omgcp #gonna be honest mostly reblogging this to have as a reference for more things to do in minecraft #it's the only video game I play and my project has been making a pit full of sheep #but that's getting boring so I need new activities #these are great ideas though I'm inspired

[hockeydyke]

My friend: can I ask you for relationship advice?

Me: *prepares a wheel of fortune where the only two options are "communicate" and "break up"* yeah sure go ahead

[hockeydyke]

#NINE SEASONS ..... #ab65

[hockeydyke]

I think the reason NHL players not wearing face-cages or even like full-face visors bothers me  is because like–

If every player in the CWHL or NWHL turns into a werewolf during the game we’ll be fine because they can’t take off the face cages with paws and thus can’t bite us

but like if ur at an NHL game during a full moon ur fucked

[hockeydyke]

Taking bets on who threw the Nicky apples at Kuzy

Bonus: when Kuzy is talking vs. when Kuzy is being pelted with apples

#the person throwing apples at kuzy was either dima or tom probably #judging by where in the locker room that came from #I think it could be either of them #cause like it wasn’t from the wall of ovi and the dmen #I didn’t see dima on that wall in the sword/shield video so it’s possible #and I don’t think it was nicky or marcus cause I think their lockers are on the same wall as osh and kuzy #okay after my analysis I’m doubling down on tom #tj oshie #evgeny kuznetsov #washington capitals

[hockeydyke]

i'm reading a fic where this is briefly touched on but I really am obsessed with the idea of Jack taking up photography as a means of shifting his role from observed to observer. i'm too tired to Go Off rn but I'll elaborate later

#omgcp

[hockeydyke]

fascinated by the idea that everyone in hockey is like well of course you can’t just drop a goalie into a new environment and expect him to be fine!! you gotta do introductions slowly over the course of several weeks, ideally while his new teammates toss treats (NOT pucks) into his enclosure from a safe distance so he learns to associate them with good things. you can’t TRADE a GOALIE at the DEADLINE and expect him to acclimate!!! if you don’t have the time to socialize your new goalie properly why don’t you adopt a ferret instead!!!

[hockeydyke]

what if they did an intermission interview but the questions were like super fucked up and stressful. "the arenas on fire and you can only save one teammate who would it be?" "whats your biggest fear?" haha alright thanks for the time have a good second period

[hockeydyke]

anyway would you rather find a person in the attic or 1000 roaches

#said it before I’ll say it again #people who say roaches haven’t lived in an apartment infested with roaches #100s was bad enough for me

[hockeydyke]

[hockeydyke]

can we talk about this

#WSH

[hockeydyke]

On top of the Yankees field cat there was a praying mantis on top of the nationals players hat tonight. Huge night in baseball

[hockeydyke]

[hockeydyke]

Paramore was right. Hard times

[hockeydyke]

I love goalie fights it’s like you guys have been standing 200 ft apart this entire time how could you possibly have beef