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I am... Dracula.

COUNT DRACULA as portrayed by Bela Lugosi (1931) & Nicolas Cage (2023).

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“Lord Byron gets up at two. I get up, quite contrary to my usual custom … at 12. After breakfast we sit talking till six. From six to eight we gallop through the pine forest which divide Ravenna from the sea; we then come home and dine, and sit up gossiping till six in the morning. I don’t suppose this will kill me in a week or fortnight, but I shall not try it longer. Lord B.’s establishment consists, besides servants, of ten horses, eight enormous dogs, three monkeys, five cats, an eagle, a crow, and a falcon; and all these, except the horses, walk about the house, which every now and then resounds with their unarbitrated quarrels, as if they were the masters of it… . [P.S.] I find that my enumeration of the animals in this Circean Palace was defective … . I have just met on the grand staircase five peacocks, two guinea hens, and an Egyptian crane. I wonder who all these animals were before they were changed into these shapes.”

— Percy Bysshe Shelley on the lifestyle of Lord Byron (via timemarauder)

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One thing that pisses me off is people seeing fish in aquariums (the establishments, not home aquariums) and being like “It’s so sad because the ocean is so big and the tank is so small and they’ll never know freedom blah blah blah-“ I’m not talking about sharks and marine mammals here but the majority of fish are not at all bothered by being in an aquarium instead of the open ocean. Like, I personally would love to be a little clown fish in one of those big reef tanks. Fed regularly. Whole team of people monitoring my health and well-being. No predators. Medicated if I show signs of illness. Aquarium fish have cushy gigs in comparison to their wild companions.

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They really should teach people how to cook in school.

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#absolutely screaming at the one it beat

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gotta say the new discourse about chilchuck being sexualized has to be some of the goofiest on this site as of late. that is an adult man who behaves like an adult man

#go read about bilbo or frodo taking some good dick and calm down

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I think it's a common misconception that domesticating animals is somewhat like enslaving them. It really is more of a symbiotic relationship. No wild animal would have willingly put up with early humans if they didn't get something out of it. Wolves wouldn't have stayed with us and become dogs if they weren't getting food and safety out of it. Many large herbivores that are now domesticated could and would have easily trampled their early human captors or broken their enclosures open if they didn't have a reason to stay. Sometimes individual animals still do if we don't give them what they need.

The animals that have stayed with us for thousands of years have evolved to cooperate with us better. Dogs have additional facial muscles around their eyes that wolves lack in order to mimic human facial expressions. Sheep grow their wool perpetually while their wild counterparts don't because a bigger fleece means they're more likely to be allowed to breed and be kept around. Domestic dairy cows produce much more milk than wild bovine species and domestic hens lay more eggs. Do you know how energy costly producing eggs or milk is for an animal? It's pretty intense! They wouldn't be able to do that if we hadn't given them the food and safety from predators and the elements to.

And we really need to show these animals respect and gratitude for what they give us by taking excellent care of them. They gave up a lot to be with us, often including the means to take care of themselves in the wild. That's a huge reason why I'm not against using animal products, but I hate factory farming. They are still living, breathing creatures with needs and feelings. They deserve a comfortable life and, when the time comes, a humane death.

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english is a minefield… if someone is fucking you that's sex, that's good… but if they fucked you that's usually a bad thing… if they're fucking with you, also bad… if they fuck with you then that's good again

#in fairness this is mostly just an issue with the word ‘fuck’

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Edward Gorey - Dracula "Grand Curtain"

stage set design for 'Dracula, the Musical', Martin Beck Theatre, 1977

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why is anthony bourdain always bullying those gay vampires. is this the interview

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i think about elvira and her butch everyday

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it seems people don't understand. a GLUP SHITTO is a character in a very popular piece of media (like star wars) that if you asked a random person or even a casual fan, they wouldn't know who the fuck that is. a BLORBO is just your little guy. can be any kind of character they're just your little GUY. a POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW is a villain, usually with a sad backstory, who you are defending and woobifying. they've done WRONG. not everyone can be a poor little meow meow. just because they're pathetic doesn't mean they're a meow meow that mf had to commit CRIMES. if you want a pathetic little fucker of any moral persuasion that is a BABYGIRL. usually male, doesn't have to be. just has to be kind of fucked up. get your terminology CORRECT

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you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

#love tumblrs new fixation on George Castanza