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can’t wait to die alone

#/s

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Sorry everyone for me!

I cant fucking stop lol

Goodnight

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Trans men with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder are still men and deserve support.

Nonbinary people with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder are still nonbinary and deserve support.

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how my pmdd “diagnosis” went:

me age 14 arguing why i need birth control: at night i hallucinate really bad, it feels like i’m losing my mind, and i get super suicidal but i’m already on depression meds so i think i might have pmdd.

my doctor, looking very concerned all of a sudden: oh definitely

#she put in the prescription while i was talking with her #she was literally just like #oh boy this is a pRoblem #the thing was i went in to get birth control so i could fuck people #and then she asked me what my symptoms were and i just told her #and i had looked them up before but i didn’t know there was a way i could FIX them #like oh apparently feeling like you’re actually losing your mind isnt a normal pms thing #good to know #you mean all the sounds i hear in silence every night days before my period that make me grip my head in pain #and wrap myself in a ball on my bed while i rock myself in panic isnt something everyone experiences?? #literally i looked up the symptoms and what i got from it was just like #oh ok so it’s pms but /worse/ and that’s not wrong but also it is #pms is bad #we all know that #but pmdd is different and dare i say worse #no one enjoys crying over a failed test bc they got their period and are emotional #but i would prefer that to literally begging into the void on my knees in my bedroom to make all the voices and sights stop #like one of those feels profoundly more traumatic than the other #i will never forget my pre-medication pmdd episodes #never #they still haunt my dreams #very few people know what it’s like to feel like you’re losing your mind #but i am one of them and i can tell you it’s whatever you’re thinking but times 1000 #literally i wanted to shoot myself just to make everything stop because nothing was making sense #and i’d had hallucinations before bc i have depression with psychosis and i get hallucinations from steroids in my asthma meds #but these were like those steroid hallucinations #but on steroids #it was so fucking bad you have no idea #and you can’t even think straight it’s like your mind is in a shredder #living with pmdd

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HAVING PMDD IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

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when you have pmdd and fibromyalgia and your period comes:

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on some real sad shit, fuck pmdd. fuck depression. fuck anxiety and feeling like absolute trash. fuck it all.

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you know what would be nice? being able to punch my uterus without beating myself up.

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Does anyone else experience like a complete flip when their hell week ends? Like it feels like someone walks by and flicks on the light and just like that you're sane again and you can think clearer and the emotions are back at like a 6 instead of being at a constant 11(000), and you're finally yourself again? :")

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PSA about PMDD

I just had to post this. I had to get the word out about something that needs to be more widely known and understood.

First of all,

PMS is not a joke. It is horrible and shitty to have to go through.

Second of all,

PMDD is different and is also not a joke.

Now let me explain for those who don’t know. PMDD stands for Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Let’s look at those words more closely. 

Premenstrual: Roughly speaking the two-week period leading up to a woman’s menstruation every month.

Dysphoric: Dysphoria is described as being “a profound state of unease or dissatisfaction. In a psychiatric context, dysphoria may accompany depression, anxiety, or agitation.” And can often indicate an increased risk for suicide.

Disorder:  many clinicians will describe psychiatric disorders as deviant, distressful, and dysfunctional patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors

NOW, lets break down disorder into those 3 parts

        Deviant: thoughts or behaviors that are different from most of the rest of a given cultural context

        Distress: a subjective feeling that something is really very wrong

        Dysfunction: when a person’s ability to work, and live is clearly and often measurably impaired.

These 3 things are what the field of psychology would like to call the criteria for diagnosing someone with a mental or behavioral illness. That last one in particular. Now that was a lot of info so how about I make this all a little bit more visual…

So now that you understand what PMDD means and that it is a real diagnosable illness, lets take a look at what it means to live with it.

PMDD was added to the DSM in its most recent addition in 2013, the DSM5 lists the following 11 symptoms as characteristic of PMDD

·      Marked lability (e.g., mood swings)

·      Marked irritability or anger

·      Markedly depressed mood

·      Marked anxiety and tension

·      Decreased interest in usual activities

·      Difficulty in concentration

·      Lethargy and marked lack of energy

·      Marked change in appetite (e.g., overeating or specific food cravings)

·      Hypersomnia or insomnia

·      Feeling overwhelmed or out of control

·       Physical symptoms (e.g., breast tenderness or swelling, joint or muscle pain, a sensation of ‘bloating’ and weight gain)

Speaking as someone who has been diagnosed with this by an actual doctor, I can say that PMDD is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with, when I am not in the premenstrual period I am constantly thinking about how far away from it I am. I plan things around it because I can, because it comes every month like clockwork. All I can do is try and enjoy my self for the two weeks every month when I am not in absolute hell. And when it comes, everything is a struggle. I have to force myself to go to class, force myself to talk to people, force myself to shower, brush my teeth and do anything other than pull myself out of crying fits and into numbness, out of anxiety attacks and into the temptation to self harm. 

After it is all over I try and move on and recover and live my life to the fullest until it comes back but that is all I can hope for. A half life.

So let me reiterate, PMDD is not a joke. If those symptoms or my testament hit a little too close to home, please share your concerns with a doctor and get a formal diagnosis and treatment. And for everyone else, all I ask is that you spread awareness and try to think twice the next time you think about accusing a girl of PMSing because ever since 2013 this has been a bona fide mental illness. We as a society can not claim that we are working towards reducing the stigma on mental illnesses if we are only doing so for a select few on a list of many.

Please reblog and spread awareness.

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so i have pmdd right? and it’s the first day of my period today so naturally i feel like shit. but here’s the thing: i’m literally on meds for my pmdd.

the pmdd meds were mainly to stop the hallucinations and suicidal ideation that i experienced, as well as increased general depression.

but now, on meds, my pmdd has switched from “well we’ll just make you feel like you’re losing your mind”

to

“well we’ll just bring up all of your painful shit”

so i just cried for like half a hour about my trauma and had flashbacks to my childhood moments of self hatred and worthlessness

isn’t life grand :) /s

#pmdd #pmdd awareness #actually pmdd #living with pmdd #tw suidice #tw hallucinations #tw meds #tw medication

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Source : Instagram -> @anxiety_within

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literally i don’t even hate myself anymore and i still want to kill myself what the fuCk kind of bullshit is this??

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“A lot of people can’t even conceptualize what being in horrible pain every minute of your life feels like…”

Chronic pain problems •

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update this no longer scares me