imthefuckingbassist

[imthefuckingbassist]

i wish i was a raccoon sleepin on a log

[imthefuckingbassist]

Kill me once, shame on you. Kill me twice, how did you did that.

[imthefuckingbassist]

[imthefuckingbassist]

Have you ever thought of a Chinese dragon combined with a dachshund or a ferret?

you mean like. a little. wiener dog dragon ohhohoohh man

[imthefuckingbassist]

the only reason why ten year old girls are destroying stupidly overpriced products at sephora to make “skincare smoothies” is because they aren’t being given access to a yard with a variety of mud, sticks, rocks, puddles, and old ceramic planters to make potions in. the children yearn for the apothecary

[imthefuckingbassist]

SO FUCKING TRUE laura jane grace. also i am in love with you

[imthefuckingbassist]

auto suggest bewilders me

[imthefuckingbassist]

when I was in high school my dad was speeding like crazy because I was running late to my job at the cemetery. and the cop who pulled him over gave him three whole tickets because who the hell goes 95 in a 25??? but then, when my dad went to court the cop didn’t show, and so the judge looked over at the charges and just couldn’t believe it. he thought the cop must’ve been so racist that he made it up because who the hell goes 95 in a 25? so my dad got all 3 tickets dismissed bc of racism. that he didn’t even experience because he was in fact going 95 in a 25.

[imthefuckingbassist]

[imthefuckingbassist]

bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time

[imthefuckingbassist]

Dude why are my pockets so wet (figures out im currently peeing myself) Ohhhhhhhh

[imthefuckingbassist]

finally made myself a mug

the quote's from @marypsue

[imthefuckingbassist]

[imthefuckingbassist]

[imthefuckingbassist]

"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."

Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]

[imthefuckingbassist]

Cigarettes = bad for you and everyone near you but unfortunately the energies and visuals are extremely sexy and erotic. The scent of charred tar alone.

Vapes = bad for you and nobody else but the energies and visuals are extremely asexual and repelling. Even the idea of someone addicted to strawberry vape juice immediately makes anyone dry as the sahara desert. Free birth control

[imthefuckingbassist]