inlovewitheasefuldeath

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

i love drinking with other academics because there's always a point in the night where we all just commiserate how trying to pursue a career in academia just breaks you and destroys your self confidence and ruins your mental health

#it shouldn't be that way obviously #but since it is #it's nice to complain with other people

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

intentionally taking the slower train so that i can read more pdfs on the way 👍

#this article ain't gonna write itself sighhhhhhh #but just wait at some point that post about not being able to write coherent thoughts about sgj and jade daniels is gonna come full circle #then i'll have a published article about it

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

This is part of my ongoing Discworld jacket embroidery project. Of course Great A'Tuin has to be on there. And of course it has to be the biggest one of them all.

I'm going to put the finished product in my masterpost, but I'm so proud of the thing that I have to put it in an extra post beforehand. Enjoy!

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

being a poet is so embarrassing. here's another poem about how my dad sucks. yeah im gonna write 200 more of them

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

Don't ask me for relationship advice cause I'll tell you to kill him

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

I love when my friends who play instruments or sing in a choir send me little voice notes with them practicing like yessss i wanna hear this

#yes this is about my not-boyfriend sending me endless voicenotes while he plays the pipe organ in an empty church

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

huge me

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

It is what it is but like. Can it be something else

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

i love you albums! i love you listening to the songs in the original order! i love you intros and outros! i love you interludes! i love you concept albums! i love you music!

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

lets give it up for pleasures of the flesh !!

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

not if i doom the narrative first.

#writing inspo

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

you irritate me

i irritate myself too ur not special

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

I’m like if someone smart chose to be an idiot. Out of free will

[inlovewitheasefuldeath]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

#yeppppppp