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irninfidel · 4 years
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i thought abt the alpha trolls for too long and got so emo that i had to disappear for three weeks my bad y’all
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irninfidel · 4 years
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WE KNOW THE DEVIL SENTENCE STARTERS
these quotes are taken from the visual novel of the same name; this novel can be purchased here. these lines discuss religion, possession, and bullying, among others; please use discretion. feel free to change pronouns / wording as desired.
“we can leave cleaning up the devil to someone else.“
“she is very kind or possibly super mean and hates us.”
“i thought i was doing this great thing.”
“i thought if i could work even harder, i’d be able to make up for him.”
“some friendships you can keep up. the rest you’ve gotta leave up to God.”
“don’t worry. i hear hardly anyone ever dies.”
“man, i don’t like them. does anyone really like them?”
“i kind of hang out with them so they’ll leave me alone.”
“i’m trying to think of something positive to say, but, uh.”
“maybe i’m a genius at getting things wrong.”
“aren’t you trying harder than literally everyone else here?”
“can’t you just be a little less good?”
“so, how do you play truth or dare?”
“there’s no mercy in truth or dare.”
“even a kid can kill the devil.”
“no one will respect you if you don’t have any manners.”
“it must be a nice feeling. to get things right, and not have to screw up.”
“i can’t tell when anyone is lying.”
“you’re safe. you’re like a puppy. you’re harmless.”
“you’re jealous. why are you so jealous?”
“i wish i could be so much meaner.”
“when someone rigs it from the start, and then says ‘try your best!’, doesn’t that make you mad?”
“he sounds like every boy you are afraid of talking all at once.”
“sometimes it’s okay to be quiet. it’s nice to know we don’t have to talk sometimes.”
“they want you to prove you’re good. but you’re already so good.”
“it should so obviously be me. it should so obviously be you.”
“you’re never allowed to think i have it better off than you.”
“do you think he notices how much of a jerk he is sometimes?”
“we could run away right now and never come back.”
“it never happened unless we both say it did.”
“you are, deep down, kind of a little shit.”
“does it really not bother you when everyone is mean to you?”
“i don’t want to be strong.”
“you’re gonna say i shouldn’t give up, and there’s hope, and we can all get through this.”
“your problem is that you hate yourself.”
“your problem is that you are very nice, but you want something, and you think that being nice is going to give it to you.”
“we are bad kids, aren’t we?”
“caring will make everything worse. it always does.”
“i wasn’t born good, but i still thought i could be.”
“just when i thought i got it right, they changed it.”
“mom taught me not to touch others. and dad taught me not to let others touch me.”
“it feels so weird and strange and bad to stop, but i could.”
“it should have been one of us. either one of us. i don’t care which.”
“we know the devil. it’s us, right? it has to be.”
“you’re being good for people that fucking hate you.”
“why not martyr yourself for us this time?”
“don’t make us go back to those people. don’t make us have to go home.”
“adults hate kids who love the world so much they can’t stop themselves from saving it.”
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irninfidel · 4 years
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every day i think about writing the signless and every day i hold myself back
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irninfidel · 4 years
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Maybe the vantases wouldn't be so cold all the time if SOME PEOPLE stopped sapping all their heat. Kankri shivering was a passive aggressive attempt to make whomever he was talking to back up
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irninfidel · 4 years
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like don’t get me wrong i appreciate being able to read people’s text for once in my life but can we have some options maybe. this looks not good. anyways if you want to plot or write with me on discord i’m levi #7577 ! i’m probably faster over there anyways tho keep in mind i suck at discord so formatting won’t happen
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irninfidel · 4 years
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this blog is like “dear followers: today i offer you Weirdly Specific Meta...tomorrow...who knows?...”
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irninfidel · 4 years
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ALMOST, MAINE SENTENCE STARTERS
these quotes are taken from the play of the same name. some of the lines have been slightly altered to work better as starters. feel free to change pronouns / wording as desired.
“ i didn’t know you knew all that stuff. ”
“ i just want to sit, like this, close. ”
“ i like being close to you. ”
“ you’re about as far away from me as you can possibly be. ”
“ the furthest away you can be from someone is if you’re right next to them. ”
“ i’m just here to see the northern lights. ”
“ but here i am, at the end of the world, and i have nowhere to go, and i was really counting on staying here. ”
“ it’s just that you seem sad, and i think i love you. ”
“ some people believe that the northern lights are really the torches the departed take with them. ”
“ that’s what you do when a person dies, you pay them respects. ”
“ i have a new heart now, and it doesn’t want you back. ”
“ i have a heart that can pump my blood and that’s all. the one that does all the other stuff doesn’t work anymore. ”
“ how does that happen? live in the same place as someone and never see them? ”
“ i gotta be honest with you, that’s not something i would’ve wanted to hear. ”
“ can i kiss you? ”
“ i know sad, and you’re looking pretty sad. ”
“ i’m glad you found me. ”
“ i’m just here until i get my feet back on the ground. ”
“ i have to know what hurts so i know when to be afraid. ”
“ i have a lot of deficiencies and not a lot of capacities. ”
“ whatever it is that he’s teaching you, you don’t need to know. ”
“ all the love i gave to you, i want it back. ”
“ remember when i asked you if you ever thought we were going to get married? ”
“ is this a ring? one that you give to someone that you’ve loved for a very long time? ”
“ she told me she didn’t like the way i smelled. ”
“ that’s pretty bad. and sad. ”
“ there’s not much in this world that makes me feel good. ”
“ there is one thing in this world that makes me feel good, that makes sense, and that’s you. ” 
“ i think i just fell in love with you. ”
“ i had fun tonight. did you? ”
“ i’m not mad, i was never mad, i was disappointed. ”
“ that’s a planet. you’re wishing on a planet. ”
“ you don’t pay attention anymore. you go away. ”
“ you don’t know how to tell me how you feel, so i never know where i stand. ”
“ you went away a long time before i do. ”
“ i just had to come see you. ”
“ people in small towns really don’t know each other any better than people in big towns. ”
“ you have to hold on to people, or you’re going to lose them. ”
“ you loved him? ”
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irninfidel · 4 years
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i posted a pale k.ant.una fic and it would just be against my morals to not promo it so...support my brand
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irninfidel · 4 years
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*slides $20 to b.efriendus* make kankri nonbinary
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irninfidel · 4 years
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mitski lyrics sentence starters.
“ i’ve been anywhere and that’s not what i want. i want to be still with you. “
“ please don’t say you love me. “
“ i don’t know what to do without you. “
“ be mean to me. “
“ there’s no need to be brave. “
“ i always wanted to die clean and pretty. “
“ you have so much to do, and i have nothing ahead of me. “
“ don’t wait for me, i can’t come. “
“ you’re all i ever wanted. i think i’ll regret this. “
“ my body’s made of crushed little stars and i’m not doing anything. “
“ would you kill me, ____? “
“ come find me. “
“ i should tell them that i’m not afraid to die. “
“ what do you do with a loving feeling if the loving feeling makes you all alone? “
“ you only love me when we’re all alone. “
“ you don’t know what you want, but you know that you’re needing it. and you know that you need it bad. “
“ i’m tired of wanting more. “
“ i’ll love some littler things. “
“ you’re the one i want. and i’ve turned down every hand that’s beckoned me to come. “
“ it’s not real enough. “
“ i will be the one you need the way i can’t be without you. “
“ why won’t you chase after me? “
“ i’ll take anything you want to give me. “
“ i haven’t told anyone, just like we promised. have you? “
“ you’re growing tired of me. “
“ i can’t take your touch. “
“ it’s just that i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended. “
“ why am i lonely for lonesome love? “
“ i gave too much of my heart tonight. “
“ i need somebody to remember my name. “
“ i’ll steal a few breaths from the world for a minute, and then i’ll be nothing forever. “
“ all of my memories, all the things i’ve seen will be gone. “
“ do you wanna be my baby? “
“ would you tell me if you want me? “
“ i didn’t know i had a dream. i didn’t know until i saw you. “
“ i don’t want your pity. i just want somebody near me. “
“ give me one good honest kiss and i’ll be alright. “
“ i hear my heart breaking tonight. do you hear it too? “
“ i know i’ve kissed you before, but i didn’t do it right. “
“ i thought i’d traveled a long way, but i had circled the same old sin. “
“ i know who you pretend i am. “
“ it’s funny how you always remember. it’s funny how i still forgot. “
“ we’ve both done it all a hundred times before. “
“ it would be a hundred times easier if we were young again. “
“ to think that we could stay the same. “
“ there’s nobody better than you. “
“ you knew from the start it was us, didn’t you? “
“ bury me in your memory. “
“ there’s some kind of burning inside of me. it’s kept me from falling apart. “
“ would you just tell me what i’m meant to do? “
“ could we be what we’re meant to be? “
“ i’m sorry for taking, but i keep wanting more. “
“ there’s a lie that i told you that now i can’t tell the truth. “
“ you told me once you were happy to have me. “
“ i would give you my heart, i think. “
“ you’re coming back and it’s the end of the world. “
“ i love you, darling. and i am done, dear. “
“ i just need a quiet place where i can scream how i love you. “
“ never once did you know me. “
“ i love everybody because i love you. “
“ ____, am i still young? can i dream for a few months more? “
“ you can come closer, i’ll let you hurt me. “
“ i’m tired of not loving you. “
“ my heart wants to hold you, but i know the rules. “
“ i think my heart is ready to die. “
“ i think my fate is losing its patience. “
“ you’re home to me. “
“ if i’m not yours, what am i? “
“ i’ll live without you, though the struggle will be daily. “
“ i get mean when i’m nervous like a bad dog. “
“ i miss running fast. i was meant for running fast. “
“ i pretended you were mine, it made me calm, babe. “
“ i am cruel, i am gentle, i can make you laugh. “
“ i don’t think about the past; it’s always there anyway. “
“ i will never die. “
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irninfidel · 4 years
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Kankri accidentally makes a crab pun and then pretends he was just making a general ocean pun for the seadwellers not clickbait
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irninfidel · 4 years
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Okay fine Andy convinced me. Coming at you live from mobile let's discuss how kankri feels about meenah in more depth.
SO as a kid, kankri knows he is very very special. So special that lusi don't exist for him, and in fact, he is the only troll with his blood color in ages! Maybe there might've been one in the past, but, well, we won't worry about that! All that matters is kankri is very special and needs to be taken care of and kept safe from all the bad things out there.
And then he learns that the condesce isn't the only fuschiablood--there's another, her name is meenah, and she's going to be in charge someday! And she's also very special, and very important. And kankri, being 1. Young anyways and 2. Pretty emotionally underdeveloped as a result of his culling has this thought one day like "I wonder if she's lonely." He ofc doesn't psychoanalyze this to realize that really, he's the lonely one--later on, he's able to acknowledge that he was projecting, but that feeling combines with how much his cullers LOVED meenah to make him generally like...a fan of hers ig?
So as discussed, he meets her and is super starstruck, which he hates bc at this point he is so desperately trying to make sure people don't just see him as the mutant after thinking he was an indigo for so long. So this is where that little bit of projection pops back up. Kankri very much wants any sort of power, yk? Some kind of authority, bc he has frankly never had any before. And here's meenah, who would've been the queen someday, whose blood color is super rare, and she...doesn't treat kankri like he's a little kid. At least, not in any way he'd recognize as such.
So, he finds out about her past, how she feels about beforus, etc, and he's like "oh I want her on my side" bc like...she was going to be in charge! And even if beforus isn't a thing anymore, if he can just get her to listen to him, it's like...he has some chance, yk? Like, if beforus did still exist, kankri would've been able to get someone as important as meenah to listen to him, an off-spectrum culled mutant.
In general, he is sort of drawn to meenah's sort of personality anyways--like, the less someone acts like a stereotypical indigo, the more he likes them, even tho his own personality is pure indigo. We see this w l.atula (v much so) and c.ronus and, judging by how easily he talks to her, meenah as well. I've discussed how much his speaking patterns change in the comic before--when speaking to meenah, he drops a lot of the indigo mannerisms, and by my own hc, his accent is also way more muted. He doesn't feel the need to perform as much bc (though he doesn't recognize this on such a verbal level), he feels like meenah is the most likely to understand him.
Sure, she wasn't culled (nor would she be), but neither was anyone else--at least, not in the way he was, bc listen I know lowbloods got coddled but I feel like that had to be a completely different thing from straight up culling. That is another rant tho. My point is that meenah wasn't culled but she WAS very special and she WAS kept very safe and secure and to kankri, at least, that means she kind of Gets It
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irninfidel · 4 years
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what is your primary feeling in longing?
In longing, you feel fear. You're uncertain and wary of what your feelings may betray you to. You don't enjoy the feeling of not being in control of your own self, you ask, "why can't I just stop?" There's a cold feeling in your chest, your hands become clammy, you know you behold this desire too strongly, but the feeling goes nowhere. Rationally you think, "this desire is foolish and I don't need it," but that doesn't work for long. Secretly you yearn for that you seek, trying to hide it even from your own self, fearing that if you even let yourself know what you crave, nothing will be the same. Sometimes it's lonely. Sometimes you wish you could tell someone.... anything. You reference it vaguely in conversations, a joke that only makes sense to you, but is actually the longing veiled in fear. Your desire is forbidden, unattainable, by your own standards or someone else's, but it lurks in the back of your mind, persistent, deafening in the way that silence often is.
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irninfidel · 4 years
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Is there a single alpha troll kankri HASN'T gotten an ashen crush for at least once? Probably not
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irninfidel · 4 years
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bardest​:
          POUR ENOUGH COLOR TOGETHER AND SOON IT WILL BE SO MUDDLED THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN GUESS WHAT IT WAS TO BEGIN WITH …     on beforus society was more of a shit - show than many cared to give it credit for.   the hemospectrum still ran wild,   and why wouldn’t it ?   it’s what everything knows,   what has always been,   and change is a thing that is all too scary to face.   it stays,   and so the warm - blooded will be coddled and taken care of,   and the cold - blooded will pet and pat and murmur in a sickeningly sweet tone.
cronus is glad that he never partook in that part of his culture.   royal - violet he may be,   but a past - him was much more preoccupied by destiny and evil of untold proportions,   of speaking so loud about encroaching shadows that not even those who were to be coddled wanted to be near his sea - side hive.
now they’re just twelve kids caught at the end of their actions.   twelve kids out of more than a billion.   cronus gnaws on the filter of an unlit cigarette,   passing it from one corner of mouth to the other with a push of violet tinted tongue.   kankri speaks faster than the wind can flow and he almost doesn’t have the heart to interrupt him because he listens,   comments on cronus’ own intermissions,   and that’s more than nine other people will.
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“     wow,   wow !   stop for a second there,   kan.     ”     he holds up a hand to accentutate the notion,   using the other to pluck the cigarette from between his lips to speak clearer.     “     meenah did what ?   flushing it up with that other serket girl,   who’s not aranea ?   didn’t see that coming—   no,   wait,   i did.     ”
shake of head,   wave of hand,   sigh of disappointment;   cigarette is put back to lips.
“     teh - weh:   interruption.   that’s how it goes,   yeah ?   continue,   chief.     ”
if anyone asks, kankri is simply discussing an aspect of their afterlife that affects all of them deeply. he is the first to admit that relationship drama tends to take up a lot of their time, but the last to admit that it could possibly be entertainment. he’s a blood player  --  an unrealized one, yes, but even so, he deals through bonds, and he has thoughts on every single one that could  (  and at this rate, will  )  play out. those thoughts are certainly important.
he’s always hated being interrupted, but he hates it less now that speaking comes easily to him. well, it was never difficult  --  when he was a wriggler, people were always happy to listen to his ramblings about his day  --  but his thoughts are much more organized, now, and so he has less trouble jumping back to where he was. and this interruption, at least, is relatively constructive. cronus does tend to listen, and so kankri is more forgiving.
he suspects cronus of trivializing trigger warnings, a problem that it seems everyone except himself has, but he decides he won’t call it out  ;  interruptions can, in fact, be very triggering, especially for those who were historically silenced  (  as so many people on beforus were, and beforus not existing anymore is no reason to ignore its history  ), and he doesn’t want to unintentionally make a joke of that.
“      aranea’s dancestor, yes. see, i thought it was unexpected, because i could’ve sworn she and aranea were together  --  though i suppose that doesn’t eliminate the possibility of other relationships developing  --  but to tell you the truth, i find the idea of any of us dating any of them to be rather unappealing for a variety of reasons. but it isn’t my business, and we all know by now that there’s no accounting for taste. meenah is perfectly capable of making her own decisions.      ”
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irninfidel · 4 years
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okay i can do drafts now i just needed to share this w all of you bc i love him so much
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irninfidel · 4 years
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Kankri was like super starstruck when he met m.eenah in person for the first time bc his cullers (being indigo) were like super huge fans of the heiress. Kankri (being kankri) was so embarrassed by this that he promptly forced himself to get tf over it which is why he acts more relaxed around m.eenah than literally anyone else despite them not even being all that close. Also he sees himself a lot in her (it's the rare blood color and the being kept safe in a castle and also just him projecting) but I haven't decided how much I want to get into that rn it is kinda late
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