jacqui-velazquez

[jacqui-velazquez]

“No,” they said. 

Admitted. 

Confessed. 

The words fell into the air between them, Jacqui letting it sit without any explanation, without trying to brush it away, or make the declaration feel any less vulnerable than it was. She just stayed where she was, leaning against the wall, solemn eyes on Jesse. He was always the one who ran. He was the one who had wanted her to leave their past behind, and yet when they did...this was the reaction she got. He showed up at her party, hurt and angry and pushing, trying to coax a fight out of them.

The worst was that Jacqui had no way to reprimand him, to punish him, to stop him. Because at the end of the day, he could continue to push her away, and yet when he showed back up, it's not like they would return the favor. He wanted to be seen and yet hated her for actually seeing him. It was an impossible situation and even still...Jacqui didn't want him to leave. 

"Why are you here, Jesse?" they repeated. Even if they didn't want him to leave, he had told them to take a hint, that they didn't know him (had never even met him), that he shouldn't go to them. Yet he came back, and still wasn't explaining, still wouldn't say why he was here, in front of them. Jacqui was drunk enough, and frustrated enough by the year of give and take, that they'd keep pushing. Even if he continued to try and dodge the question.

Jesse scoffed, frustrated with the easy way they dismissed his anger, refusing to rise to his challenge. It only made him want to push harder. He hadn't come here to be met with kindness, he'd come, he realized, for a fight.

Even knowing that, he didn't answer her question. He didn't think he knew how to answer it. He'd come because he demanded to be seen, demanded not to be forgotten even if all the ways he was remembered were rotten. But he wasn't going to say that. He suspected she knew it all, anyway. They had always had an infuriating ability to see right through him. So, he didn't answer. Instead, his eyes darkened and he challenged, "Do you want me to leave?"

#thread: jesse #jesse11

[jacqui-velazquez]

Jacqui just gave Monty the slightest sideways look from their corner of their eyes, the acknowledgement that they could think of plenty of places he'd be besides hanging out with them (as things had been as of late) going unsaid. They didn't need to call it out - Monty was well aware, and they were aware he was aware. They wouldn't push, even if they did want to grab Monty and Ollie both by the shoulders and vigorously shake them. “Not really but….it’s New Hampshire and I want to dance. So it’ll do,” Jacqui said with an easy-going, altogether unbothered with the perception or reputation of the club. So long as they could shake some ass, they were happy with pretty much any outcome of a night out. "Really, though? You've never been to a club?" they echoed. "Well, maybe you'll love it. We'll be back here next week for your birthday."

"Whoa --" Monty very nearly jerked away, surprised by Jacqui's sudden appearance and not at all expecting an arm to twine around his own. He eased into their hold, though, rocking on his heels as they joined him in line. "Look out, birthday royalty, comin in hot!" he laughed out, lazy grin stretching wide. Monty was most definitely already stoned, eyes bloodshot and feeling it big time, but it'd seemed like the best option to withstand a club atmosphere. Strobing lights, too many people, overpriced drinks -- he was bracing himself for one hellish night, but it was worth it for Jacqui.

Briefly, his head tipped into Jacqui's as theirs settled against his shoulder for a moment, a gentle bonk of companionship. "'Course. Where else would I be?" A lot of places, but they didn't need to talk about how scarce Monty had made himself around Waverly. "Is Hex cool?" he asked, nodding ahead of them as the line shuffled forward, eyeing the very bored looking bouncer. "I've never been to a nightclub before."

#thread: monty #monty08

[jacqui-velazquez]

"I should probably say that I'll turn it down anyways, but..." her voice trailed off, Jacqui shrugging up a shoulder as they wrinkled their nose up with at least a hint of sheepishness. In all honesty, unless an official complaint came through, as soon as the door was shut, the music would be back, despite their acknowledgement of the volume upon opening it. A bright smile spread across Jacqui's face, their head nodding to one side as they bestowed it upon Eddie. "Thanks!" they said in a chirp, swinging the door open further. "I'm just getting ready but a big group of us are going out - you're coming, yeah? Stood up or not, you showed up at my door which means even if you didn't mean to agree to it, you did. And I refuse to let a gift from the universe or fate or whatever, " she paused, a hand motioning towards Edward to indicate she was talking about his appearance, and thus his joining them out for the night, "- go returned on my birthday." After letting all that out in one breath, Jacqui inhaled, their smile only widening as they motioned for Eddie to come in to their room.

“Oh, no. Don’t worry.” He shook his head unconcernedly as though he had no business complaining about the noise – because, well, he didn’t. “I don’t even live here.” He tipped his head forward toward the window, nodding in the direction of Alcott. “This girl told me there was a party in her building and said I should come, but I guess she stood me up.” He shrugged lackadaisically, frankly not really caring that he had been blown off. More concerned, instead about the fact that he had shown up at someone else’s party without a gift or an invitation. To him, that stood at the apex of a very long, comprehensive list of the most uncourteous things a civilized person could do. “I didn’t know it was someone’s party.” If he did, he wouldn’t even have come. He knew most people didn’t mind another guest or two, and especially that most people his age didn’t see anything wrong with showing up at a college party uninvited and empty-handed but he happened to be way more polite than most people, and especially people his age. So, this whole situation was making him feel quite awkward, like a homeless person inside a Walmart – not that he had ever seen that happen, but he had heard about it, and he could only imagine how strange it must be! “Happy birthday, though.”

#thread: eddie #eddie02

[jacqui-velazquez]

"Fair enough," Jacqui said with a soft laugh, the pair pressed together on the couch with an inherent sense of intimacy, one that came from having lived with each other for over a year and Jacqui being an inherently invasive person - emotionally and physically. There was a sense of comfort with Ollie that they were forever grateful for, a horror story of college roommates luckily avoided. As such, any birthday plans with him would be not only appreciated, but automatically fun for them, leaving Jacqui half paying attention as they hummed in agreement to a few of his suggestions. "Don't you think zoos are sorta...depressing?" they mused after a few moments. "I know they're important for conservation and the animals are fed well and treated well in...well, ethical zoos, at least, but still. I find them so claustrophobic. I could never just stay - no, that's not it. I could stay in one place, but if it was my choice, you know? It's the choice being taken away that's claustrophobic," they said, sipping from their coffee with a distant look in their eyes before they refocused on Ollie. "Which means I probably should be against your life of crime suggestions as well, what with the probability of being thrown in jail, but that sounds very promising to start twenty off with," they said, a teasing tone to the words but a dangerous gleam in their eyes that didn't immediately indicate if they were joking or not.

"Uh, yeah, if I wanted cupcakes I did have to do that," he laughed, and leaned his cheek against Jacqui's shoulder as they smooshed together. He nodded his head as Jacqui spoke, giving a small hum. "Well we have to do something fun," Ollie said, of course he thought doing anything with Jacqui was fun so they pretty much had a wide variety of things they could choose. "We could watch a movie. Here or we can go out. I don't know what's out right now though." Probably some spooky movies which he was down with if they decided that. "We could… Go to the zoo." Was there a zoo nearby? Probably somewhere. "We could go Go Karting." He'd for sure been go karting somewhere nearby, he was certain of it. "We could start a life of crime. Like become money launderers or something like that. Or get into tagging but we'd have to figure out our signatures or whatever they're called. Tags I guess. We could fill up water balloons and throw them out the window at people. We could have a smoke session and then lay back down in bed and sleep all day. Stop me when you hear something you're interested in," he laughed, leaning his head back.

#thread: ollie #ollie16

[jacqui-velazquez]

Jacqui delighted in their birthday in a way that many probably didn't - rather than a day of expectations, they always saw it as a day of possibilities, of opportunities. There was no way to be disappointed when the night was a blank slate for whatever anyone could want from it - anything could happen, so long as they were willing to make it happen. As much as their typically optimistic outlook had wavered in the past few months, that night...things felt bright again.

Maybe that was just due to the copious amount of alcohol they had been drinking since quite a bit before they had arrived at the nightclub.

Taking the drink from Parker regardless of the previous ones they had, Jacqui sipped at it as the slightest furrow appeared in their brow, one hand lifting up to dismiss the question. "Oh, nothing," they said, a trickle of a laugh slipping from their lips. "As long as everyone's having a good time, that's enough."

"hey!" parker exclaimed back, arms opening up to return the hug the moment she noticed jacqui going for one. carefully, of course, as she was carrying a drink in each hand—one for each of them. "of course i came, happy birthday!" they seemed to be in good spirits, which sent a wave of relief down the blonde's spine. not that she'd expected otherwise. she had, however, taken a generous swig or two of champagne from her bedroom bottle before leaving... and grabbed a quick shot at the bar first thing upon arriving... and, you know, grabbed those drinks to official start with. just in case.

but things were looking good! jacqui, most of all. parker's eyes scanned their hair and outfit in awe from behind while being guided deeper into the dancing crowd. she was dancing before they event found a place to stop, eager to lose herself in a night of fun. "here, take this," parker offered once they'd stopped, holding a drink in the minimal space between them. the other was brought to her lips for a few seconds. "okay, birthday babe, what do you want the most out of the rest of the night?"

#thread: parker #parker06

[jacqui-velazquez]

Jacqui just shrugged up their shoulders, sipping from the mug as their eyes closed, a small hum leaving their lips as they tasted it. They weren't picky about when they were woken up - sleep was more fluid to them then a lot of people, more than willing to take naps through out the day rather than sleeping the solid eight hours that were recommend at night. Besides, they hardly subscribed to a normal sleep schedule as it was. The smell of coffee in the morning waking them up would never not be welcome. "A fair trade off," they said with a grin as their eyes flickered back open, meeting Ollie's gaze. "You didn't have to do that," they replied as he motioned towards the cupcakes, leaning their head onto his shoulder as a thanks regardless, squirming closer into his side.

They let out another hum, this one less in pleasure and more in thought at Ollie's proposition, the slightest furrow appearing between their brows. "I don't know," Jacqui answered, truthful in that at least. "I do most of the things I want." Perhaps once a true answer, now it was more that Jacqui had no idea what they wanted. They wouldn't even know where to begin. "I mean, I want to hang out with you and skip class and go dancing. So nothing that out of the ordinary," Jacqui said, shrugging up their shoulders before taking another sip of their coffee.

Ollie hadn't been sitting on his laptop too long before Jacqui made an appearance, perking up and giving them a large grin. "Happy Birthday!" He greeted, as they joined him on the couch. "I can make you coffee in the morning if you want. But it might end up waking you up before you want to be woken up," he shrugged his shoulders. Ollie tended to like his coffee strong, completely black, and filled with so much sugar it got a little grainy. But he'd at least attempted to make normal coffee for Jacqui. "I also got cupcakes," he said motioning over towards their small kitchenette, to a small plastic box containing four cupcakes. Two for each, obviously. He slung an arm around Jacqui's shoulder, leaning his head next to theirs. "So! It's your birthday! What is one thing you really really want to do today that you don't usually get to do? We'll do it."

#thread: ollie #ollie15

[jacqui-velazquez]

It would be all too easy to push back - to return the irritation Jesse was clearly brimming with with irritation of their own, with hurt or with anger, with a fit thrown because it was, after all, their party he was crashing. But deep down, at the end of it all...Jacqui couldn't deny that they were happy to see him. Even if they had been sure he wouldn't have wanted to come, the invitation going without being offered because it's not like they were friends, it's not like he liked their presence in his life anymore than Jacqui liked the fact that they couldn't seem to take themselves out of it.

"I must've forgotten to invite you during all of those conversations we've had recently," they said, the fact that they could count the amount of times they had spoken since New Year's on one hand going without being actually pointed out, though their voice was still easygoing as their head angled ever so slightly towards their shoulder. It was the slightest raise of their eyebrows that gave the sarcasm underlying their amusement away, though a smile played on their lips anyways - no harm, no foul. Maybe he hadn't been invited, but he was there now.

He would always be there.

She would always extend the invitation.

He would never accept.

The truths all seemed inevitable, blurring together in Jacqui's intoxication as their dark eyes refused to blink away from Jesse's face, the clarity with which they saw him seeming more literal than usual with the intensity of their stare. "You're always welcome, if you want to be," they said after a moment, their head tipping back again, posture sinking down as they slid down the wall a bit. "I meant....why are you here," Jacqui repeated, motioning a hand between them.

He'd heard about what was going on at Hex tonight. Of course he'd heard about it. He hadn't heard about it from Jacqui, though, so it was painfully obvious that had been intentional. They didn't want him here.

So, naturally, here was exactly where he was.

He was pissed off and well on his way to drunk by the time he arrived, late enough that most people had already gone home. But his eyes found Jacqui just as they disappeared around the corner. A very small corner of his brain— the only place reason still lingered— whispered that he could leave. He hadn't made an ass out of himself yet and why did he want to be somewhere he was clearly unwanted? But the irrational, unreasonable part of his brain was so much louder, egging him on towards confrontation.

He was rounding the corner into the hall before he even realized he'd given his feet permission to move.

They were leaning against the wall, head rolling with the heavy looseness of someone deep in their cups. Why are you here they asked in a way that was not the challenge Jesse decided to take it as. He bristled, spinning the sting of rejection into annoyance. "Well, the last time I checked, this place was open to the public. Lucky, too, since it seems like my invite got lost in the mail."

#thread: jesse #jesse11

[jacqui-velazquez]

A few days after Jacqui’s birthday, a little package arrives at her door with a note.

#the fuckiNG PERSONALIZED STATIONARY #ofc #feat. eddie

[jacqui-velazquez]

Jacqui's lips twitched upwards at Ambrose's interesting, the word followed by the disclaimer afterwards making it clear that exploring the outdoors around campus was absolutely not his cup of tea. What a diplomatic way to accept the suggestion while having no intention to explore it. The amusement stayed on their face as they nodded, tapping their fingers along the top of the piano, the rhythmic sound of their nails filling the silence for a moment. "We will," they agreed, giving a more assertive bob of their head. "I need to find something...different. New. Something that I'm not expecting," they said vaguely, not elaborating on what they wanted their year to be different from. They wouldn't, not even to themselves. "Sometimes things need shaking up, you know?"

Ambrose gave a tight lipped smile as Jacqui spoke, one that clearly said he did not agree at all that 'quirks were part of the beauty of instruments'. Definitely that if he came across some flat key that it might make things more magical in a performance. He would rather die. He was too polite to say that though, because everybody was different when it came to art. Some people just … went with the flow, like Jacqui. Some people like him, did not. "That could be interesting," Ambrose said, shrugging his shoulders. "I've never really been an outdoors type of person before." But there was an argument to be made for the fact that maybe it was because he'd never really been allowed. Having lived in LA his entire life, and sure they took trips, but not into… wilderness sort of places. Though it would be a stretch to call the area around Ogden 'wilderness', maybe it would be something he'd find himself interested in. Maybe he could go out and paint some landscapes. He raised his eyebrows a bit, as he looked fully over at Jacqui, nodding his head slowly as he caught onto the slight uncertainty, so he made them an offer. "We'll have to go out and find some things to do sometime. Figure out what there is out there. Maybe we'll find something interesting."

#thread: ambrose #ambrose01

[jacqui-velazquez]

“Sacramento?” Jacqui echoed with a tilt of their head. They hadn’t realized Logan lived in California - they were fairly certain they would’ve recognized the area code but…maybe she had just moved there or something. At least that explained why their texts went unanswered. Or did it? Jacqui couldn't remember if they had said they were in New York when they reached out - maybe the LA area code they had should've made Logan more likely to text them. "At least you were on the superior coast," they said after a moment, shrugging up their shoulder. "I mean, if I think about it too much, I really just get more and more confused why we all chose to come over here in the first place."

logan was looking at them with one eye and scanning the perimeter with the other, wondering if she was missing something. of course the attention wasn't unwelcome, but she wasn't aware her and jacqui were on casual conversation terms. "oh yeah? what kind of stuff were you doing?" she shifted back and forth on her feet in a little dance. "honestly, sacramento is mad boring. not much to do." she could have mentioned the comic conventions, but that felt a little too geeky to share.

#thread: logan #logan02

[jacqui-velazquez]

Jacqui shrugged up one shoulder. “On the contrary,” they said, though they were the type to constantly be fidgeting, tapping out a rhythm, their body finding a beat. But where could that come from, if not the quiet? They had learned to be comfortable with it. There was always an inherent truth in the quiet - which Jacqui knew was something plenty of people couldn't stomach. Jesse included. Yet they lapsed into silence as they walked beside him anyways, distance kept between them while they both looked straight ahead, Jacqui noting from their peripherals his utter determination to look anywhere but at her. 

The invitation struck them with a bit of a surprise, several responses jumping to the tip of their tongue - denials and acceptances both. But Jacqui had wanted a distraction, had wanted to get away from campus, had wanted to continue to refuse to face any of the struggles that had arisen over the summer, which were only compounding on the myriad of issues the college already had. And if they could count on Jesse for anything, well...they were pretty sure not prying into how they really felt was one of them. Which was why they found themselves shrugging a shoulder again, nodding. "Yeah. That's...exactly what I want to do, actually," they said with a low laugh. Luckily, they were already walking in that direction, meaning it didn't take long for them to get to the bar, a sigh of relief slipping from Jacqui's when they slumped into one of the booths, regardless of who was sitting across from them.

Jesse nodded, hands slipping into his pockets as his eyes roved over the quad, crowded with students who seemed to file in and out in every direction, like a kicked up ant hill. He'd always felt most at home in a crowd, but he didn't feel up to stomaching it at the moment.

But quiet also sounded fucking awful. He didn't want quiet, he didn't want creeping thoughts, he didn't want to think about the summer or the conversation he'd just had with Parker. He just wanted to feel like the carefully cultivated Jesse Hart he'd been when he'd first stepped foot on this campus three years ago. "I didn't know drummer types knew how to do quiet." He scanned the hoards of people again, finding it was easier to talk if he wasn't looking them in the face. Which probably wasn't a good sign that he should keep this particular interaction going. Jacqui had seen too much, Jacqui knew too much. That had always been the problem. But his fatal flaw would always be how bad he was at being alone, especially when things got too heavy. "You wanna go grab a drink at Frank's or something?"

#thread: jesse #jesse10

[jacqui-velazquez]

#face

[jacqui-velazquez]

who: @jessehart when: late late on jacqui's birthday. potentially technically the day after where: hex nightclub

Jacqui was drunk. 

It was their birthday, so they should be drunk, but they had definitely succeeded at that mission, a fairly large number of drinks having been bought and handed to them without them even finishing the one they had already been working on. But, as they stood waiting for the bathroom, head tipped back against the wall (definitely drunk, then, because who knows what was coming off the dingy wall onto the hair they had spent so long getting perfectly styled for the night out) of the bar, that the realization hit - they were drunk. Maybe it was the moment of separation, waiting in the at least a bit quieter hall that lead to the bathroom alone, or the fact that if they hadn't been leaning, they may well have tipped over at this point, but in that moment, it became very clear. 

In fact, they were drunk enough that when they turned their head towards the sound of another person's footsteps entering the hall where the bathrooms were and saw Jesse, they thought it was entirely possible that he was a figment of their imagination. He had been one of few people that Jacqui hadn't invited to come out with them that night, after all. They stared at him for a few long breaths, head still tipped back against the wall, before they finally spoke. "Why are you here?" they asked, words not unkind or accusatory - just confused. Even though it was a public club and all. Of all places, on all nights, at all times for him to be going down that hallway...why was it when she was?

#this is all just rambling so plz do not match length #thread: jesse #jesse11

[jacqui-velazquez]

who: @walshparker when: late, jacqui's birthday where: hex nightclub

"You came!" Jacqui said, their voice a near squeal as they greeted Parker's arrival on the dance floor with an exuberant hug. They had invited pretty much everyone they spoke to, regularly or not, casting a wide net of friends for their birthday, genuinely just wanting everyone to come out and have a good time with them - and what better time than dancing and drinking? While some people may have been surprised by Parker's invite, or at the very least, her attending, Jacqui wasn't. But they were still delighted by it, hence the tight grasp on the redhead blonde as they tugged her further onto the dance floor.

#thread: parker #parker06

[jacqui-velazquez]

who: @montyrichler when: evening, jacqui's birthday where: on the way to hex nightclub

Jacqui's arm linked through Monty's, their elbows locked together as their hand held onto his bicep, determined to keep him from slipping away - perhaps not entirely necessary, but Jacqui wasn't taking any chances. It was their birthday, after all, so it was safe to assume that Ollie would be showing up at some point, and considering the break up....they didn't want either of them running off. It was their birthday, so whatever conflict there was between them could be ignored for one night.

That wasn't too much to ask, was it?

As if to preface that, Jacqui leaned against Monty even more, tipping their head against his shoulder as they got into the line outside of the club, grinning up at him. "Thanks for coming out with me," they said, giving his arm another small squeeze.

#thread: monty #monty08

[jacqui-velazquez]

who: @morrisxn02 when: early evening, jacqui's birthday where: waverly #201

Jacqui had music pounding as they got ready for the evening, hardly paying attention to how much the bass was rattling the walls. Perhaps incosiderate, considering their living situation (dorms and their thin walls, that is), but it was their birthday, their night as far as they were concerned, and they were listening to the music with little care, their voice weaving through the noise as they sang along absentmindedly while styling their hair. They were sitting on the floor in front of a mirror, makeup and hair products sprawled around them as the current song playing came to a close, the decrescendo bringing attention to the knocking on the door - the impatience Jacqui was practically able to hear in the raps leading her to believe they had been knocking for a minute, getting up and bouncing to the door to swing it open - expecting an RA or a disgruntled neighbor (not Monty, obviously but...someone on the floor above or that uptight girl down the hall or something). Not Edward Morrison. "Shit, sorry. Was the music too loud?" Jacqui said with a wince, hitting pause on their phone before the next song could really pick up as they leaned against the door. 

#i have no idea what this is but !! they haven't interacted since g's rave so something random it is !! #thread: eddie #eddie02

[jacqui-velazquez]

who: @ironlvngs when: mid-day, jacqui's birthday where: inked in red

The bell on the door tinkled as Jacqui swung it open, the sight of Link behind the counter causing a smile to spread across their face as they slide their sunglasses from their nose to the top of their head. "Hi!" they greeted with a bright wave, approaching him as their smile only widened. "If I remember correctly, I think I saw some sort of advertisement for a birthday tattoo deal." Had they? Absolutely not. But Link had said they wanted to tattoo them some point last year, and what better occasion?

#thread: link #link09