jdijwa-blog

[jdijwa-blog]

I haven’t stopped laughing at this

[jdijwa-blog]

Note: Trying a new food because of Character and realizing you don’t like it and never eating it again counts as a No. Trying a food but not really getting into it is also a No. But tell about these in tags if you like!

Yes answers are for like. Seeking out the food/flavor or just consciously eating it more for blorbo reasons.

I’m so curious what foods people have picked up or started eating more of because of fiction!

#tamagoyaki because of Digimon #Sam & Kaidan make me eat pancakes

[jdijwa-blog]

internet friends are kinda like illegally downloaded friends. you don’t get the physical copy but you still get all the great content

[jdijwa-blog]

patronising little fuck

[jdijwa-blog]

just remembered a fic on AO3 (or more likely LJ because it had that distinct late 00's experimental vibe) that appeared double-spaced oddly, in that some paragraphs would be spaced normally and others would have double or even triple spaces in between. it was about one half of the otp getting over the other's death (or coma, can't remember which), so all the comments were about how poignant the use of visual spacing was as a means to convey all the emotional holes in the character's life.

and then the author replied like... *giggle* guys it's NOT double spaced. try selecting the whole text

and we were all like "no WAY"

but we selected the text, and yes!!!

the "holes" in the story? they were actually lines and actions from the dead/coma character's ghost, rendered invisible to the eye by the simple trick of coloring the text the exact same as the background, revealed by nothing more than a click and a drag of the mouse

a story about the profound loneliness of losing your the partner of your life and having to make do without them, without anything to fill the holes they'd left behind, suddenly became a story about the profound helplessness of seeing someone you love suffer from your absence while you are right there, unable to do anything about it, unable to communicate that you love them enough to suffer unseen and unheard with them, just to keep them company they'll never know about

it was then that I truly realized how *superior* the digital medium is to plain printed paper, how the medium and the format can add to a story.

I think about that fic about once a year. I wish I could find it again

[jdijwa-blog]

[jdijwa-blog]

Big Place 2024 NOMS

Hi everyone! We're a little over a month out from nominations (yey!) and since this is a new part of the exchange, I'd like to go over what that means.

So, what is a nomination?

A nomination is a pairing or relationship you'd like to see in the exchange. Since we're opening the exchange up to relationships other than shenko, this can be anything, as long as Kaidan is one of the people in the relationship.

How to nominate:

When nominations are open, I'll share a link. It will look something like this:

You'll fill in the blank spaces. Under "Relationships", just enter the relationship you want to nominate!

Under fandom, enter "Mass Effect - All Media Types".

So, a filled out nomination should look like this:

After you're done, just hit submit! That's it!

Some other things:

Types of relationships: For romantic pairings, separate names with a "/". So, Kaidan Alenko/Liara T'Soni would be a nomination for a romantic pairing. For platonic pairings, separate names with a "&". So, Kaidan Alenko & Garrus Vakarian would be a nomination for a platonic pairing.

You can nominate relationships between more than two people! Just use the name / or & markers are above. You can't mix and match, though, sorry. So, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard/Ashley Williams is fine, but you can't nominate Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard & Ashley Williams.

I'm "front loading" the following relationships, so you don't have to nominate those: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard, Kaidan Alenko & Female Shepard, Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard, Kaidan Alenko & Male Shepard, Kaidan Alenko/Non-Binary Shepard, Kaidan Alenko & Non-Binary Shepard.

There's a limit of 10 nominations per person, but since I'm already loading up the big ones, that should be enough.

If your nomination is rejected, it's probably already been nominated and approved by someone else! Don't worry!

As usual, if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I'm looking forward to all the tasty noms!

[jdijwa-blog]

You shouldn’t date or become serious friends/partners with someone if you can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a car or train with them for 16 hours.

[jdijwa-blog]

this might be random, but i NEED to know, what's the risotto recipe you have in mind? I love cooking and, not to be cringe, but I have made a few of the dishes you've mentioned in Opus if they catch my eye or I have enjoyed making them before and fancy giving them a whirl again. But I don't remember you ever quite specifying the risotto and I was wondering if, well, there was a specific recipe or if it was just risotto. I was planning to just wing it but, well, food is a very conscientious theme throughout Opus and I knew there was a chance you might have an actual recipe in mind!

First, that is not cringe, that is amazing, and I am now dying to know what you have made.

Second, FUNNY STORY.

I do a lot of due diligence when I write. Food is a theme that runs throughout this series, and honest to god I look things up before I slap them on the page. Kaidan has a much more multicultural background than I do, and I didn't want to be That Asshole who assumes my narrow culinary experiences are universal. So when I mention a dish, it's safe to say I put some thought into it. I even have the actual drink recipes for the 'Yang Gang's favorite cocktails, thanks to @pip-n-flinx.

There is one notable exception to this.

It's the risotto.

I'm gonna be honest. When I made risotto the coveted Alenko dish, it went something like this:

Me: Ok, I need a funny reason for Shepard to be willing to go pose as Kaidan's partner with his parents. Also Me: How about a legendary home cooked meal. Me: Perfect. What's the Legendary Home Cooked Meal at Casa Alenko? First thing that comes to mind. Also Me: Risotto. Me: Great. Wait, what is risotto? Also Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Me: Doesn't matter, we're rolling with it.

I'm not even kidding. When I made Lora Alenko's Risotto the most mouth watering meal in the galaxy I didn't actually know what risotto was. I thought it was some kind of pasta. See why I research?

You have to understand, this all started with Sonata, and Sonata was supposed to be an AU one shot that was maybe 7k words TOPS. It wasn't supposed to be part of Opus. It wasn't supposed to dictate the tone and establish everything about how Opus ultimately unfolds. And because I wasn't writing it with that in mind - it was just this silly, supremely self-indulgent diversion to distract me from the stupid thing I was stuck on in Cantata - I, uh. I just winged it.

(I have since looked it up, since had it, and DO actually know what it is, please stop laughing.)

So I have no idea what the recipe is. I feel like it's one of those things that can't have a recipe, because the reality will never be as good as Kaidan's boasting.

But also consider this alternative: Sam has the worst tastebuds in the galaxy. What If Lora Alenko's "risotto" was just some elaborate home made cheesy rice that was kid!Kaidan's favorite meal, so he has some big time nostalgia glasses on about it, Sam is insane over it because he's a basic bitch, and there has not been a marine on the 'Yang who doesn't love it because marines' idea of a good snack is a box of crayons.

Just saying. XD

(That said, if you wind up with a heavenly risotto recipe you recommend, I'm uh, open to suggestions....;)

#im in need of drink ideas

[jdijwa-blog]

Tumblr staff: ten options is enough for polls, right? No one needs more than that on a regular basis. The average tumblr user: Hey guys which element of the periodic table do you think is the most fuckable?

[jdijwa-blog]

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

[jdijwa-blog]

[jdijwa-blog]

If i had a nickel for every time I've become unreasonably attached to a human male character from a BioWare game with dark hair and brown eyes who you meet in the very first mission of the game, and has trust issues either with himself or others or both, and is also voiced by Raphael Sbarge, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice.

Im talking about them

[jdijwa-blog]

hmm. ublock origin no longer seems to reliably work on youtube for me. unfortunate!

[jdijwa-blog]

*proceeds to shake it like a polaroid picture*

[jdijwa-blog]

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

[jdijwa-blog]

Oh to be that bug on horizon who bit Kaidan

#relatable #if only i could make Kaidan stop in his tracks and look at me for a few secs