jesuisgourde

[jesuisgourde]

tomorrow i'm meeting a potential roommate for coffee to see if we get along

i do not remember how to meet new people in a "free" setting

like, the last time i met new people that weren't coworkers or people my roommates brought over was probably 2019. maybe even before that. how do you talk to people. how do you get to know people without the crutches of "we're stuck in this building for 8 hours but at least we have the common experience of bookstore job" or "hello friend of my friend how are you i just happen to live in the house you are visiting and i am relying on my friend to establish conversation topics."

see my problem is i'm introverted and awkward and also have interests that are not regular people interests and most of all idk how to be a person

#squash rambles #i may sound cool and eloquent when i type but meet me irl and i'm awkward as fuck #brain to fingers: works very well #brain to mouth: total system failure #also all the media i like is weird as fuck #and i don't care about sports or mainstream media stuff #and i'm not smart enough re: politics and that to talk eloquently about it or be super opinionated (aside from being generally leftist) #i get along with my bookstore job coworkers because we're all absolute freaks but also that's why we got hired in the first place

[jesuisgourde]

[jesuisgourde]

[jesuisgourde]

dogperson / oil painting

[jesuisgourde]

at work today i reread weetzie bat for the first time since i was like 13 or something and it still holds up

also my coworker and i were laughing about how it's basically kathy acker for kids, and how every weird girl/weird queer kid we know read it when we were young

[jesuisgourde]

Peter: Carl and I barely spoke for the first two years I had to constantly chase him because he wanted nothing to do with me

Also Peter: Carl suggested we jump off a roof together within months of our first meeting and I stopped him by declaring my eternal love

#what was the thing katia said in the madres tour docu? ''time has no print on my baby'' #she's right peter has zero concept of time it seems

[jesuisgourde]

not three days after I say I love it that they’ve had to keep coming up with new ways to put it, this drops

#peter said hang on i need to drop a love letter to carl right now

[jesuisgourde]

"Ten things you hate, says I to the Pigman" // "Carloves"

[jesuisgourde]

peter as "heavyhorse" on the old network54 forums (x)

#pffft #help

[jesuisgourde]

David Bowie performing the song "Cracked Actor," 1974

[jesuisgourde]

“GROUPE SURRÉALISTE” MAN RAY // circa 1924-25 [gelatin silver print | 9.2 x 8.3 cm.]

[jesuisgourde]

at work yesterday we spent the first hour hate-reading vincent gallo's website (my coworkers/boss are absolute founts of weird useless knowledge) and it's fucking insane. i highly recommend going to the "merchandise" section because it's absolutely bonkers. like i mean it'll just make you hate him more because he's a disgusting piece of shit but also the website seems like a joke but it's obviously not?? it's just bizarre and wild. like he's selling his own sperm (is that even legal?) for a like a million dollars and there's a whole bunch of stipulations and they just get crazier and crazier.

#squash rambles

[jesuisgourde]

James Dean photographed by Dennis Stock on the set of Rebel Without a Cause

[jesuisgourde]

home of vanessa bell, english painter and sister of virginia woolf

#oh we got some books on her in at work recently and i'd never heard of her before

[jesuisgourde]

#carlos is retraining as a fog machine

[jesuisgourde]

Christiane F. (1981) | dir. Uli Edel

[jesuisgourde]

Kurt Cobain on December 27th, 1991.

📸 Neil Zlozowler