jhplusbaby-blog

[jhplusbaby-blog]

Whelp...

... we got it, the BFP!!!! I have been holding it in for over a week now.

It all started on Tuesday December 12th. I was at work late with two students taking a test before they left early for their holiday break. As I was driving home, I thought to myself, I should test. My period was due any day between Monday and Wednesday, so it was still kind of early. I had some Clinical Guard tests that I decided to use. I tested and waited the five minutes for the result, and there it was, a faint second line.

I asked J to check it out and help me decide it was positive. The directions weren’t super clear. J wasn’t able to confirm either. We ran some errands and got another test, one that was a little easier to read. We got home and I tested, waited the 3min the test required and ...

We were in disbelief, but so excited at the same time!

The next day I called and made my initial OB appointment which happens to fall on my 32nd Birthday, and changed some dentist appointments that I had scheduled. The news started to sink in.

I am still in total shock a week and two days later. Both J and I have been reading books, articles, and blogs. My best friend knows and is over the moon. We can’t wait to meet our little one in 3 weeks!! Trying to stay positive and keep those nagging thoughts at bay.

[jhplusbaby-blog]

Shaken, but not giving up...

I am cursed with the ability of observation. I have known about three pregnancies at work before they were announced. Usually I am ok, but the latest announcement was yesterday. When she handed me the bag of popcorn she worked so hard to put together, my heart sank. I was hoping my observation wasn’t true, but at the same time I was happy for her. I tired my best to look excited/happy, but I am pretty sure my unhappiness showed. Thankfully my teaching partner and I missed the big cute announcement as we were in a meeting. I don’t think I could have held it together at all if I had been present.

J and I have been TTC on and off for over two years. TTC with depression and anxiety makes it difficult to be consistent. The pressure of repeatedly trying with no results is very hard on J’s anxiety. The most constant we have been is 4 month stretches. J wants to chalk up our BFNs to health issues, or infertility, which I don’t discredit, but I also don’t want to jump to any conclusions when it hasn’t been a consistent year of trying.

I am trying to stay strong, to holster the emotional burden of it all, but I am so alone in this journey. That is why I am reawakening this blog. I need to reach out to the TTC community as you all maybe the only support system that understands.

#ttc baby 1 #ttc over 30 #ttc #ttcjourney #ttccommunity

[jhplusbaby-blog]

Introductions

Before I get too involved in posting positive, uplifting ttc content, I guess I should introduce myself and share my story.

Hello I am the H in jhplusbaby. My husband of nearly 10 years is the J. We have been informally ttc for 15ish months, and we have gotten more serious since March 2017. I am 31 years old while J is 35. Children have always been a desire of ours, but due to mental health issues on J’s part they have been postponed until now.

While we hope baby is right around the corner, we are realistic that will take time. We are just beginning our journey l, and despite the hard times we may face my goal is to stay positive and motivate not only myself but others as well!

#ttc #ttc over 30 #ttc baby 1

[jhplusbaby-blog]

The journey may be long, bumpy, and uncomfortable, but remember that every journey is different. Some days will be happy and filled with positive energy, others will be depressing and filled with negativity. Owning that it is YOUR journey will help you accept your feelings and work through them. In the end you are the only one who knows journey.

#ttc baby 1 #ttc over 30 #ttc