kaye-studies

[kaye-studies]

bell hooks taught me that love must be at the center of our politics and that revolution could not be possible without love. rest easy bell hooks, thank you for everything

[kaye-studies]

*gets hit with feelings i thought i was over with* mmm i see that we’re recycling now

[kaye-studies]

I think the moment that convinced me the operating logic of our society is truly fucked in a way that cannot merely be reformed was after that eclipse in 2017 when the articles started coming out about how much money had been lost by productivity dropping from people stopping momentarily to watch it happen. To measure the world by the metric of the dollar to such a devotion that any cult leader would be jealous of that you would look at one of the most sublime experiences in nature which we, our ancestors, and even a not insignificant number of non-human species, have been observing in awestruck wonder for millennia, and decide that such a moment of profundity is something to be fought and preferably expunged from the human experience because it briefly impacts quarterly revenue.

It's a feeling that has been coming up repeatedly, but with increasing frequency in the last few years. That being: what is all of this for? Where are we going? Nobody who defends the status quo can seem to answer it. What's the point of an uninterrupted quarterly revenue stream if we can't even look at an eclipse every few years? What's the point of hustling and grinding 50, 60, 70 hour weeks if you never have time to have dinner with your friends, talk to your family on the phone, but on a bigger spectrum, what's the point of all of that if you still don't have any way of retiring in the future? With the way that our lives are being increasingly monetized and squeezed every second, what is there to look forward to?

[kaye-studies]

“There will always be a person who looks like a poem the earth wrote to keep you alive.”

— Juansen Dizon

#ahhhhh #when!!!! will i get to read it!!!!!!

[kaye-studies]

i love night walks. its such a shame im a woman

[kaye-studies]

#sometimes i think if this loneliness and isolation is for my self growth #or if it’s to my ruin #where do i draw the line

[kaye-studies]

Me every single week

[kaye-studies]

it’s so crazy having a follower base on tumblr knowing full well it’s not based on selfies or anything like people are here for your crazy twisted mind. i feel like nietzsche

#its funny bcos people followed me for my studyblr content #but i havent posted in MONTHS #ever since i got covid i lost all motivation #oh well

[kaye-studies]

i am once again fighting the urge to disappear

#isolation is one of my greatest temptations #EVERYDAY #but i know i need meaningful relations to heal

[kaye-studies]

God plays rough before breaking into laughter. In all my questions about this strange, compelling truth—in all my doubts about the ambiguity of what God often allows—what I find myself longing for most is not a well-formulated theodicy. I wouldn't be satisfied with answers to the problem of evil even if I had them. What I desire most of all is the assurance of God's love, the echo of God's laughter breaking over me in waves of playfulness that won't let me go.

Belden C. Lane, The Solace of Fierce Landscapes: Exploring Desert and Mountain Spirituality

[kaye-studies]

Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters of Rainer Maria Rilke, 1892-1910

[kaye-studies]

“Daydreaming does not enjoy tremendous prestige in our culture, which tends to regard it as unproductive thought. Writers perhaps appreciate its importance better than most, since a fair amount of what they call work consists of little more than daydreaming edited. Yet anyone who reads for pleasure should prize it too, for what is reading a good book but a daydream at second hand? Unlike any other form of thought, daydreaming is its own reward. For regardless of the result (if any), the very process of daydreaming is pleasurable. And, I would guess, is probably a psychological necessity. For isn’t it in our daydreams that we acquire some sense of what we are about? Where we try on futures and practice our voices before committing ourselves to words or deeds? Daydreaming is where we go to cultivate the self, or, more likely, selves, out of the view and earshot of other people.” –Michael Pollan “A Place of My Own”

#WOWOK #DAMN

[kaye-studies]

Fernando Pessoa, A Little Larger Than the Entire Universe: Selected Poems

[kaye-studies]

nurturing the heart (pt iii) // (meals that have hugged me, Apr 2021 - Jul 2021) 🤍

1. strawberry yogurt cheesecake shared with best fren, her passion fruit drink had a lot of seeds in the way so I finished my drink to migrate them

2. kimchi soup, cooked for the first time in a while

3. experimental cake, the cafe owners cheered when I said I wanted to try it (they said it failed but it was very fun)

4. spicy tomato pasta, eaten after drawing things to put up in my new room

5. peanut sauce knife-cut noodles & dumplings, mixed the sauce using some peanut powder given to me by a friend in a reused peanut butter jar w/ a different lid

6. udon in kimchi soup with lots and lots and lots of spring onion

7. 'fried rice' cooked in a rice cooker with chickpeas, corn, broccoli and marinated soy sauce eggs

8. a bagel with scrambled eggs, sriracha + a matcha latte

#food that feels kinda like home

[kaye-studies]

How do you stay motivated?

Motivation is a fickle bitch. Don’t expect motivation. You don’t stay motivated; you work through the periods of exhaustion and disinterest with relentless discipline and enjoy the moments of motivation when they come, ride the wave, and then struggle through the depths again.

(Habit, not motivation, should be your best friend. Routine, persistence, patience.)

[kaye-studies]

You're so stunning. I wish I could send you some croissants.

This. This is my love language.

[kaye-studies]

Finally done with finals!!!! Finally done with the semester!!!!!!!! I get to hibernate now 😭😭😭