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Writing because killing myself is unethical

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Touch me while your boys play GTA was something I never thought I'd hear Taylor Swift say but here we are

#taylor swift ttpd #taylor swift #the tortured poets department

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We might be dating but I'll still giggle and kick my feet in the air cause I'm in your close friends list

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I just realized that much of Yellowjackets Tumblr is still unaware that I have a cat named Nyatalie Scratchtorture

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Dear emy from October 28th, it won't get better but life will get so bad you won't even have time to think about it.

Grief is such a weird thing.

For me it started weeks, even months before they actually passed away.

I saw them die. Watching them get weaker and weaker day by day and hour by hour, not smiling anymore and not having enough strength to do what they enjoyed, taking medications just to delay the inevitable. Thinking about it they probably accepted it before everyone else did, but the truth was that there was nothing else we could do.

I wish I stayed that day, when I visited them for the last time, I held their hand, they told me not to be scared of all those wires and beeping machines. They complemented my bracelets, I never told them what was hidden under them, because they didn't need to go knowing they'd live me in this state.

We talked, they told me that it was okay, but we both knew. We both knew that the moment I walked out of that hospital room, I was never gonna see them again.

So I went back home, and not even a day later, I got the call. They weren't going to make it through the night and the only thing I could do was stay wide awake miles and miles away and I still remember every little detail of everything I did that night, my every action, every song I listened to trying to keep the thoughts away and every thought that crossed my mind.

But that wasn't even the worst.

Nobody talks about what goes on in a person's head during a funeral.

"They are there, they are inside that casket"

"They are three feet away for me, but they are so far"

"God why is everyone crying? When things got bad you weren't here, you don't deserve to cry, you can't cry"

And even when the casket is buried and the body is rotting, it's never. ever. over.

Death hunts you every day for the rest of your life, some people are just better than others at hiding it.

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I'm also evermore, epiphany and I hate it here :3

I'm a mirrorball, I'm the archer, I'm nothing new.

#Taylor Swift

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Fighting the urge to say I'm not the albatross because it's literally an humongous sea bird

#taylor swift ttpd #ttpd #taylor swift #the tortured poets department

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This one owns my heart

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Took a nap with contacts on.

I'm still alive.

I did it for science.

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Something's off

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Taylor Swift the woman you are

#me core

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I wish you hated me so hating you too would be easier

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My mind hasn’t been able to think of anything else for hours I swear😭😭😭I hope nobody did this already

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...drake?

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XOXO🙄

STOP IT NOW

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WHATSAPP NOW

🫡🫡🫡🫡

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EMEMENEMEMWMWMWMWMWM

HERE