ladyofthecreed

[ladyofthecreed]

I dont know what to say. I’m at a ,’ , |,’_’ for words

#oh my god..........

[ladyofthecreed]

just devil's business ^-^

#bg3

[ladyofthecreed]

A friend of mine asked me once how I could tell the difference between experiencing romantic and platonic attraction. I'd like to restate my thoughts here, since I think they could be useful for some people!

First of all, Intensity =/= Romance. Platonic feelings can be just as strong as romantic ones, although the amatonormativity we live in pretends otherwise. Because of that, I used to often wonder if my squishes are actually crushes. Nowadays, I just go through a series of questions and feel much more at peace afterwards!

"Do I have a crush on this person?"

Ask yourself:

Do I want to kiss them?

On the mouth? With tongue?

Do I want them to kiss me?

Do I want to go on dates with them?

Alone? Would I like it more or less in a group setting with other friends?

Do I like the idea of being seen as a "pair?"

Do I want to live with them?

Forever?

Do I want to marry them?

What does an ideal wedding look like, in my head?

Do I like the idea of them confessing to me?

If I have any interest in children, am I interested in raising children alongside them?

Do I want to exchange gifts with them annually on dates like Valentine's and/or an anniversary?

Do I (in general) enjoy traditional romantic gifts like flowers or jewelry?

Would I enjoy receiving those gifts from the person in question?

If they told me they just got a new partner, would I feel negatively about that?

Do I feel that same negativity when other people I'd never be interested in romantically (family members, etc.) announce they have new partners? Or is it just the person in question?

If sex is a romantic thing for me, do I want to have sex with them?

Answering "yes" to a single one of these questions doesn't mean I have a crush. But answering "yes" to many of them would indicate romantic feelings.

For me, this is a relief, because when I apply these questions to my friends and squishes, I typically react with disgust and RESOUNDING "no"s. Kissing, dating, annual gift obligations, marriage, and co-parenting all squick me out and make me recoil.

A lot of aros (especially baby or questioning ones) might also answer "yes" to a hypothetical they haven't experienced themselves, but then change their answer to "no" later. I know I used to think being confessed to would be flattering (even by someone I didn't reciprocate), but now that it's happened to me a few times, I know how awkward and awful it is. Same with kissing; I thought I'd like it because everyone in media likes it, but actually trying it (with girls and boys) has firmly cemented me in the reality that I just hate mouth kissing.

But, I still thought it might be useful for some aros who struggle with their identity due to all the arophobia and amatonormativity trying to make them question their feelings!

(It might also be helpful for someone trying to figure out if they're gay/bi and have a crush on someone, idk)

[ladyofthecreed]

(I personally bought it because I was having trouble finding a good group to play DND with)

#the goddamn vampire duh #so many fanarts...so many screenshots #i had to fuck him #bg3

[ladyofthecreed]

Finding a new favorite fictional character is like, will you be temporary or will you become a permanent part of my personality for the next 10 years?

[ladyofthecreed]

Reblog to hug prev poster (they need a hug)

[ladyofthecreed]

[ladyofthecreed]

“You may only call me Mrs. Dekarios when you are completely, and perfectly, and incandescently happy”

—

Reference from Pride & Prejudice (2005)

#ayoooooooo #bg3

[ladyofthecreed]

[ladyofthecreed]

bicep meme 2 electric boogaloo with dame aylin and isobel

#yeeeeee #bg3

[ladyofthecreed]

Have had the scribble version of this since at least September but drawing Astarion’s hair is haaaard

Gale’s regular hair is tricky for me too but the wizardly updo mod is 🤌

#bg3 #awwwh

[ladyofthecreed]

breaking news: if you establish boundaries, the world does not explode and you are not placed into horrible people jail

#me to me #life

[ladyofthecreed]

#nice

[ladyofthecreed]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

#gritting my teeth and chugging along but boy it sure takes a lot out of me

[ladyofthecreed]

One thing I love about Gale is that he'd do the finger wiggle and say "don't mind if I do" to a little treat but he'd also say it to the Necromancy of Thay.

#bg3

[ladyofthecreed]

deleting files makes me so scared what if i Needed That

[ladyofthecreed]

hey man I found a piece of your soul stuck in the text messages of old friends you don’t speak to anymore. do you want it back

#hey thx man. unfortunately i have to kill u now. sorry 😞