lingerxng

[lingerxng]

she was starting to get used to the faraway look in his eyes. that scared her more than spotting it in the first place.

he never talked about it. "that shit's in the past," was all he would say. but hell, she knew how fucked up she had been, being in the simulation for just the few days it took before kinzie found her. johnny was there for five years.

shit like that can get to a man, if he lets it. she wasn't going to.

it was unnerving, seeing him like that. like he wasn't all there. like he wasn't all *here*. "johnny," she said, touching his arm. he moved instinctively, fluidly. he pushed her hand off and swung her around into the wall, the other grabbing for his knife. bittie reached up and grabbed his wrist. "johnny!"

he blinked.

"...shit." he dropped the knife, but bittie didn't let go. she stared him down before softening her grip. "shit, boss." he brought up one hand, rubbing under his glasses.

bittie was quiet. "johnny, i know you don't want to talk about it--"

"nothin' to talk about."

"you just tried to gut me." there was a long beat of silence. her hands were still on his forearms, but she wasn't holding him back any longer.

he sighed, a long exhale through his nose, but didn't pull away. "what d'you expect me to do, b?" he asked, a little quieter, not wanting to be overheard. "find a fuckin' therapist? there aren't that many options out here."

"i didn't say that. i just..." she frowned. "look, i know its not... exactly the same. but you remembsd when i got out of that coma and got back to Stilwater? i wasn't exactly all there, either."

he nodded. "i remember. 'cept you weren't jumping at ghosts."

"yeah, i was," she countered. "i just didn't try to stab mine."

there was a long silence, then he nodded again. "sure. okay. what finally got you out of it?"

she shrugged. "time, mostly."

"shit, are you serious?"

"yep." she gave him a grim smile. "it helps to have friends around, too." she gave his arms a gentle squeeze. "you say the word, i will drop everything and come running."

"i don't--"

"i don't give a fuck what you do or don't want. this is an order. alright?"

he rolled his eyes, but there was half a smile on his mouth. "yeah, boss, alright."

"good." her hands dropped to his for the briefest of moments, then she let go. "wanna go kick some alien ass?"

"fuck yeah."

#boss bittie #johnny gat #saints row #i think a Lot about how johnny was in the simulation for five years #five. whole. years. #five years of reliving his failure. of watching the woman he loved (loves) die. #in everyone else's nightmare they're aware to some extent that this isn't real. #johnny isn't. johnny is fully bought in. johnny is playing along. #does he realize? did he start out that way? was it a form of conditioning? of protecting himself? #maybe if he plays his role right this time he can win #maybe if he says all the right words and does all the right moves he can save her this time #maybe if he gets it *right* he isn't a failure. #anyway i think once he gets out at least for a little while he has some issues with. uh. telling what is real and what isnt. #himself included. #hooray for ptsd

[lingerxng]

"you're not gonna jump, are you? i don't think i'm qualified to give ledge talks."

bittie looked up over her shoulder. "nah, i'm not gonna jump," she said, turning back to face the city.

she heard more than saw as pierce moved to sit next to her, legs dangling over the edge if the helipad. they were quiet before he spoke again. "was wondering when this was gonna hit you," he said plainly.

she shrugged. "we had shit to do," she replied.

"didn't help that shaundi was fuckin' hysterical."

"that's sexist."

"man, you know what i mean." he shook his head. "she didn't take it well. i can't believe you held it together."

she turned to look at him, frowning. "what, did you expect me to just fall apart?"

"no. but i expected you to do something. he was your best friend."

bittie looked at him a moment longer, then turned to face steelport again. "we had shit to do," she said again, as if that explained it all. "loren needed to be dead."

"yeah, and after?"

"you saw what pryor did. i couldn't let him get away with that shit."

"boss." pierce waited until bittie turned to look at him. "everyone has to grieve."

she rolled her eyes. "i dunno if you noticed, but that's not really what we do around here."

"you think i didn't pour one out for johnny?" he tched softly. "shit, boss. you knew him for how long? and you think you can just ignore it? that's how you end up like shaundi."

bittie frowned. "finally getting off her ass to do her fucking job?"

"angry at the world." he turned out again, hands folded together loosely between his legs. "we're bangers, boss. we lose people. it comes with the territory."

she was quiet for a beat. "i wasn't supposed to lose him," she said finally, voice softer than before.

"i know. we all thought he was invincible."

"because he was." she shook her head. "i've seen him shot, stabbed, gutted, beaten. he could take anything."

"i know."

"he wasn't supposed to die."

"i know, boss."

bittie didn't want to cry. she'd worked so, so fucking hard to get where she was, and she didn't get there by breaking down. she swallowed hard, forcing her way last the rock in her throat. "he was my only friend, pierce."

"well, then what the fuck am i?"

she looked at him, brow furrowed. "huh?"

"boss, you're my best friend." he looked halfway between confused and... almost insulted. "shaundi, too."

well. at least he'd confused her beyond her sadness. "but... we don't..."

"what, just because we don't get our nails done and have fuckin' sleepovers, we aren't friends?"

"i di--"

"shit, this is why i'm not friends with women, they don't--"

"pierce!" he stopped, looking up at her. she took a breath, then let it out, somewhat shaky. "...thank you."

"for what?"

"i dunno." she shrugged one shoulder. "checking on me. being here."

"...yeah, sure thing, boss." a beat. "you gonna start crying now?"

she sniffed. "yeah, probably. you gonna leave?"

"nah. i can deal."

"cool." she leaned until their shoulders touched, took a breath, and stopped holding it in.

#saints row #pierce washington #boss bittie #ive been thinking a lot about the differences between the og series and the reboot #and namely about the relationships between characters #bc the reboot is *so focused* on how you're all friends (which i love) #and the og series... it doesn't feel like any of the saints are your friends #but i think that mainly the difference is like #what cishet mens relationships with other cishet men are like #particularly for gen x and older milennial men (the target demographic for the OG series) #theres this bit in bobs bugers where linda asks who bobs best friend is and he names a guy he hasnt talked to in fifteen years #and like idk. i want the saints to be your friends. and i think they are. #its just a VERY different dynamic than i'm used to #so im having feelings about it #bittie is lonelier than she lets on #i didnt mean to put an essay in the tags lol

[lingerxng]

hello character who is desperate to be a good person; i want to play a game. in front of you is the one person you will never be able to save. you have the rest of your life to make peace with this. there are no defined repercussions if you fail, but we both know you're going to attempt to win regardless. your time starts now

#nohemi #bittie

[lingerxng]

god if there was a book of forbidden spells I wouldn’t even hesitate

#rhys #......... #amity

[lingerxng]

Sex and the City (1998 - 2004)

#bittie

[lingerxng]

Some shorts that things could definitely get caught in

And the best fucking shirt ever at twice as nice in tucson az

#BOSS KEITH

[lingerxng]

#lemon

[lingerxng]

#idk who even to tag this as but this is def clark bait

[lingerxng]

Look, he kissed me with my own blood still on his lips. That’s practically a marriage proposal. 

#boss keith

[lingerxng]

keith wasn't sure why everyone was staring at them suddenly. even the loans guy was staring at them, looking shocked. they looked at eli behind them, who had his hands over his mouth, horror in his eyes. "what?" they said dumbly.

wait. hadn't he been holding a gun?

they looked down and saw the pistol on the ground. it was still smoking slightly, like an old school western. then keith looked down at themself and saw the hole in their leg, steadily pouring blood into their sock.

man. they liked these shoes.

everyone moved very quickly all of a sudden. kev reached out to deck the loan shark, but he ducked; neenah leaped over the desk to grab him while kev hurried to keith's side. eli was saying something, but he was going too fast, maybe stuttering, and keith couldn't make it out.

"dude, it's okay," they tried to sign, but kev was grabbing at them. they brushed him off. "i'm fine!" they insisted.

kev gave them a weird look. "you got shot," he signed back.

"yeah, no shit."

eli was still stammering. he picked up the gun, holding it gingerly, but neenah pulled it out of his hands. kev reached out for keith again, and they rolled their eyes. "seriously, I'm fine!" they insisted.

"we gotta get out of here," keith saw neenah say. "someone definitely heard that and called the cops."

Keith nodded. "i'll meet you at the switch car," they signed, already turning for the door before kev finally got a hand on their shoulder.

"like hell you are," he signed, looking almost angry. "you're going home with me. eli and neenah can make the switch. and stop--" he smacked keith's hands away from responding. "stop walking on it! you're gonna make it worse!"

keith just rolled their eyes again. "fine, mom," they signed. "but tell them that you're all acting like babies."

"because we're concerned that you got shot?"

"it doesn't even hurt!"

"god, you're so fucking stupid."

#boss keith #i swear im gonna stop hyperfixating on them soon #(<- lying)

[lingerxng]

If you come in you don’t have to come out

#JULIEN DECKHART #(prior to meeting devon)

[lingerxng]

the first thought they had was, holy shit, i'm dead.

the second thought they had was, holy shit, i need a stash of whatever they put me on.

keith blinked slowly, coming to under dim fluorescents. they didn't recognize it. they still didn't have insurance, so they hoped they hadn't been taken to the hospital. then again, they had the money to cover it now. maybe it would be okay.

thinking was hard. every thought slid off their brain like jello on a hot car. they turned slowly, looking around; kev was asleep on a couch, neenah against his side. awh. cute. why weren't they invited to the cuddle puddle?

oh, right. hospital.

there was a touch to their arm. keith turned again and saw eli giving them an exhausted, but relieved, smile. "hey," he said simply.

keith brought up both hands, dizzily trying to sign. "what happened?"

eli took a seat, leaning against the edge of their bed. "we caught you before you fell," he said slowly. "took you to shady oaks. turns out, there are a couple of people here who aren't complete frauds."

keith tapped the side of their head, drawing a laugh from eli. "you lost a lot of blood, dude," he said finally. "i think the final stitch count was like, thirty five or something. the nahualli got you good."

"i got him better," they replied. eli shook his head fondly. "everyone's okay?"

"yeah, we're all okay." eli smiled at them. "you did good, boss."

keith smiled back. "i like that. boss."

eli rolled his eyes. "get some rest."

"you'll be here when i wake up?"

"yeah. we aren't going anywhere."

keith just nodded, then let the drugs take them under once more.

injuries were weird when you couldn't feel the pain. keith had once walked around with a broken arm for six weeks without realizing it; it had to be rebroken and reset to heal properly.

knife wounds, though. those were more immediate.

it was the feeling of cutting into a good steak dinner, except-- usually-- it was somewhere in your torso. this one certainly was. it was a nice knife; the slice was smooth, even. would make their stitches easier, if they got to them. the other side of the knife was serrated, though, and that edge was pulling and tearing. ow. probably.

he stabbed them with the goddamned knife they had gifted to that motherfucking son of a cock.

they stuck one hand out automatically, held onto his shoulder to keep themself upright. the nahualli's other hand was almost gentle as it held their waist. the knife was placed expertly, angled just so, clipping through their stomach and up into a lung. they were pretty sure they could feel some sequins from their top pushing into their gut, which, ew.

the nahualli was saying something, but keith had always had trouble reading their lips with that damn moustache in the way. i can't live your life if you're still breathing.

oh, hell no.

they were able to block his next attempt with the knife, but even without the pain hindering them, they could still feel the shock. they hit the cobbles, hard, and didn't get up. couldn't get up. keith managed to glance over their shoulder, saw him saying something, before he grabbed their arms and started dragging them.

they were dizzy. they weren't sure they had ever bled this much before; hazily, they were upset. they really liked this shirt. they made an effort to look good, and this motherfucker didn't appreciate that.

they couldn't believe they had spread their legs for him.

they looked up as they were pushed into a grave. god, what a cliché. and, oh my god, that jackass was still monologuing. they lifted their hands to sign as they spoke.

"i'm deaf, you stupid asshole."

the shovel at the side of their head was the last thing they felt before they finally blacked out.

#boss keith #okay this is the last one

[lingerxng]

keith often forgot how beautiful santo illeso really was.

they stared out towards the sunset, waiting for their friends. they were covered in the worlds most disgusting mix of desert dust, sweat, and blood, but they were a lot calmer than they had been in the last twenty four hours.

this was the hardest they had ever worked in their entire goddamn *life*. not just the nahualli-- all of it. the saints. the taking of santo illeso.

their city really was beautiful.

a little part of them was... hesitant, though. they had their throne; they would have to defend it, routinely. but what else was there? they'd actually *enjoyed* the work of the last few months, and now--

they jumped when a hand hit their shoulder. kev was grinning at them, then pulled them into a hug that lifted them fully off their feet. they could feel him talking, but couldn't make out what he said until he pulled back to sign at them. "you're crazy," he signed with a chuckle.

they rolled their eyes, but they were smiling. "no, *that* is crazy," they said, motioning over to the nahualli's corpse. kev made a "fair point" kind of gesture as neenah and eli came up behind him, reaching out for hugs of their own.

"thank you," neenah signed. keith waved her off, but she continued out loud. "no, seriously. that was some fucked up--"

"woah, hey..." eli was staring at keith, but not at their face. "dude, you're bleeding. did you get shot?"

they looked down, blinking. oh. yeah. that was blood. kev's hug must have re-opened their wound. they didn't realize how dizzy they were until now, swaying slightly on their feet. "knife," was all they could sign. the adrenaline was out of their system now, leaving them empty.

huh. they were on the edge of the roof, weren't they? that might be a problem.

they managed to half reach out, searching for hands before they fully fell backwards into empty air.

injuries were weird when you couldn't feel the pain. keith had once walked around with a broken arm for six weeks without realizing it; it had to be rebroken and reset to heal properly.

knife wounds, though. those were more immediate.

it was the feeling of cutting into a good steak dinner, except-- usually-- it was somewhere in your torso. this one certainly was. it was a nice knife; the slice was smooth, even. would make their stitches easier, if they got to them. the other side of the knife was serrated, though, and that edge was pulling and tearing. ow. probably.

he stabbed them with the goddamned knife they had gifted to that motherfucking son of a cock.

they stuck one hand out automatically, held onto his shoulder to keep themself upright. the nahualli's other hand was almost gentle as it held their waist. the knife was placed expertly, angled just so, clipping through their stomach and up into a lung. they were pretty sure they could feel some sequins from their top pushing into their gut, which, ew.

the nahualli was saying something, but keith had always had trouble reading their lips with that damn moustache in the way. i can't live your life if you're still breathing.

oh, hell no.

they were able to block his next attempt with the knife, but even without the pain hindering them, they could still feel the shock. they hit the cobbles, hard, and didn't get up. couldn't get up. keith managed to glance over their shoulder, saw him saying something, before he grabbed their arms and started dragging them.

they were dizzy. they weren't sure they had ever bled this much before; hazily, they were upset. they really liked this shirt. they made an effort to look good, and this motherfucker didn't appreciate that.

they couldn't believe they had spread their legs for him.

they looked up as they were pushed into a grave. god, what a cliché. and, oh my god, that jackass was still monologuing. they lifted their hands to sign as they spoke.

"i'm deaf, you stupid asshole."

the shovel at the side of their head was the last thing they felt before they finally blacked out.

#boss keith

[lingerxng]

#boss keith

[lingerxng]

someone had stepped on them. keith flipped back the blanket over their head to look at the offender; kev, looking equal parts guilty and confused.

"is that my pillow?" he signed.

"it's cold," they signed back. this february was particularly brutal; it was dipping down into the lower 40s on the reg. keith snuggled further into the nest, looking up at kev.

"so... you decided to steal everyone's blankets and pillows and make a nest in the living room."

"it's cold," they repeated, emphasizing the word. there was a beat as they stared at each other. "wanna watch a movie?"

kev blinked. "yeah, scoot over."

--

kev looked up, which made keith look up-- neenah was staring at them from the doorway. "what... the hell...?" she asked slowly, amusement clear on her face.

"it's cold!" keith repeated, feeling the vibration as kev doubled the sentiment.

"it's february, what did you expect?" she said, tugging off her own coat to shove it into the closet.

"i don't have to *like* it," they signed. "come join us. we're watching saw iii." kev held out a bowl to coax her-- the popcorn was almost gone, but he could always make more. or, keith would whine at him until he made more. not that kev would complain.

neenah nodded, grabbing a handful and shoving it into her face. "can't let you hog all the blankets."

--

eli seemed significantly more offended than the others. keith tried to feel bad about it, but it was hard when eli was wearing that ridiculous puffy jacket. "you went into my room?"

"it's cold!"

"i keep my room locked!" keith gave him a look. "...yeah, okay, i should know better. that's still an invasion of privacy!"

neenah waved him off. "relax, eli, your crusty socks are still under your bed." kev's bark of a laugh cut off any protest he could have made.

keith perked up properly. "are you gonna join us or what?"

there was a beat, then eli sighed wearily, kicking off his boots and wedging himself in. "what're we watching?"

"saw v."

"oh, gross i'm leaving--"

it took all three of them pinning him down to get him to stay.

--

Keith didn't know when they fell asleep.

they woke up sometime in the middle of the night, feeling slightly dazed. the tv was still on, playing a loop of the dvd menu. they shifted slightly, then realized they were fully pinned; their head was on kev's chest (mmm, boy boob), with his arm around their shoulders. eli had one arm around their waist, his own face tucked into the back of their head-- they could feel where his glasses poked into them. neenah had reached over eli to hold one of keith's hands, and they could feel where one of their bare feet was trapped between her stupid little ankle socks.

they weren't cold anymore.

carefully, without disturbing their friends, they shifted deeper into the warmth, and drifted back to sleep.

#boss keith #saints row 2022 #they're cute okay

[lingerxng]

#boss keith

[lingerxng]

"where are they."

they had never been so angry in their life. their phone, already damaged, cracked under their hand.

the screen was flickering, but not so damaged that it couldn't display the speech-to-text as it popped up. "they're safe," it read. good. well, good for him. it meant keith wasn't going to have to torture the information out of him like they wanted to, which was a bummer for them, but it would certainly take less time.

the apartment was trashed. someone had been here. someone had been in their home. it wasn't enough that the nahualli wanted to take their friends-- he really, actually wanted to take their entire life. the man was insane. and keith was the one saying that.

"i am coming for you, motherfucker." their voice felt gravelly, and they hoped he knew the truth in it. they hoped he knew they were serious. for maybe the first time in their life.

"good. that will save me the time."

the call ended.

oh, they were going to slaughter that man.

they rolled their neck, feeling the joint crack. they should probably get some guns, but that didn't feel appropriate. from the back of the storage closet, they pulled out an axe, slinging it over one shoulder. with their other hand, they reached to the waistband of their skirt-- no pockets-- and pulled out the one thing from the first aid kit they did know how to use.

they jammed the adrenaline shot into their thigh, tossed the canister aside, and ran for the car.

injuries were weird when you couldn't feel the pain. keith had once walked around with a broken arm for six weeks without realizing it; it had to be rebroken and reset to heal properly.

knife wounds, though. those were more immediate.

it was the feeling of cutting into a good steak dinner, except-- usually-- it was somewhere in your torso. this one certainly was. it was a nice knife; the slice was smooth, even. would make their stitches easier, if they got to them. the other side of the knife was serrated, though, and that edge was pulling and tearing. ow. probably.

he stabbed them with the goddamned knife they had gifted to that motherfucking son of a cock.

they stuck one hand out automatically, held onto his shoulder to keep themself upright. the nahualli's other hand was almost gentle as it held their waist. the knife was placed expertly, angled just so, clipping through their stomach and up into a lung. they were pretty sure they could feel some sequins from their top pushing into their gut, which, ew.

the nahualli was saying something, but keith had always had trouble reading their lips with that damn moustache in the way. i can't live your life if you're still breathing.

oh, hell no.

they were able to block his next attempt with the knife, but even without the pain hindering them, they could still feel the shock. they hit the cobbles, hard, and didn't get up. couldn't get up. keith managed to glance over their shoulder, saw him saying something, before he grabbed their arms and started dragging them.

they were dizzy. they weren't sure they had ever bled this much before; hazily, they were upset. they really liked this shirt. they made an effort to look good, and this motherfucker didn't appreciate that.

they couldn't believe they had spread their legs for him.

they looked up as they were pushed into a grave. god, what a cliché. and, oh my god, that jackass was still monologuing. they lifted their hands to sign as they spoke.

"i'm deaf, you stupid asshole."

the shovel at the side of their head was the last thing they felt before they finally blacked out.

#boss keith